I woke up to Junsu and Yoochun's worried eyes. I slowly sat up. I felt sick and hurt.

"Jaejoong! You should rest more!"

Junsu held onto my shoulder trying to get me to listen to his request. I held my head. It was spinning. I was finally thinking clearly. My mind wasn't on fully on my baby. The baby I had lost. Instead there were a few other things I was focused on.

I had been selfish. I had taken everything from Yunho and yet there was still more I wanted him to give me. To realize that human beings were selfish...I just realized it now. I sighed soundlessly. Yunho had taught me something once again. He taught me that I had done the wrong doing. Everything that had happened...it had been because of me.

"What happened? Jaejoong?"

I smirked, huffing a bit. They shoved a notebook into my hands with a pen, but I had no interest in writing. I had been selfish. I had used all my friend's help. I had used up all the goodness they could offer while I was being useless. What kind of person was I?

I struggled to my feet even though they grabbed me. They tried to keep me down, but I wasn't giving up this time. I had done it once...but I wouldn't again. This time, I had to go all the way. I had to do what was best. I struggled out of my own room. There was so much pain and so many memories that it was hard to focus.

"Jaejoong? Where are you going?"

I glanced at them, but then looked straight forward. I would be sorry...to waste all of their efforts that they had wasted on me.

"Jaejoong! Stop. You can't go out. It's too cold!"

Yoochun tried to grab me. He tried to stop me. I pushed him weakly away from me before weakly going down the steps. I knew they weren't far behind. They were the best friends anyone could have. They wouldn't leave someone like me go alone for a second. It warmed my heart to know that they still loved me even after everything. However, it wasn't enough. I still had to do...what I had to do.

The bridge wasn't very far from our house. I made it there in the krisp winter air. I took a deep breath. I hadn't ventured this far in months. It took all my strenth and the wind burned my eyes, causing me to cry.

I stared out over the frozen river, staring out at nothing.

"Jaejoong! No!"

I heard him breath, his desperate cry to stop me. I glanced in their direction. I smiled at them. I knew they would be sad. I knew they would cry. I wanted to say something. I even went as far to open my mouth. It just reminded me that my voice was useless. That was also taken from me.

I waved at them, saying my lest farewell to my best friends. They had been with me through thick and thin. They had suffered with me even through the good.

I looked away from them, grabbing onto the throbbingly cold railing. I weakly swung a leg over. I almost succeeded too, until something pulled me away. I landed on my back, the breath being knocked out of me. I was dazed as I stared up at the stars. I hadn't noticed them in a long time. I could only hope that I was dieing...but I knew I wasn't.

"Don't be stupid! Jaejoong, why would you do this? You still have us, don't you?"

Yoochun was breathing heavily. I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I didn't want people to look at me in a disappointed way. I had wanted to stop all of the pity and the disgust that I received. I just wanted to die...because that is what I deserved.

"Yoochun stop!"

Junsu kneeled beside us. I closed my eyes, letting the tears overflow. Why couldn't I have anything that I wanted? Everything turned out how it wasn't supposed to. I was supposed to take care of our child. I had lost it. Now what I was supposed to do, now that I lost everything?

"He you? Didn't he?"

I opened my eyes, finding the stars again. I didn't dare look at Junsu. Of course he would be the only one that knew. Yunho had only come to the apartment because of Junsu.

"That jerk!"

Junsu was crying. I slowly turned my neck so I could see him.

"How could he? How could he touch you...hurt you like that? I'm so sorry, hyung. I'm sorry!"

Junsu fisted my shirt. It was all I had on. I hadn't even put on a coat before coming out here. I was beginning to feel the cold. The world was slowly coming back. The sounds. The smells. I was slowly returning.

"Yunho? Yunho did this?"

Yoochun asked. He was angry. I could tell without even looking at him. He was mad.

I reached up to brush the tears from Junsu's face. He didn't deserve to feel any pain. It wasn't his fault. He had done his best for me.

"Hyung?"

Junsu took my hand and then felt my forehead. I closed my eyes. His touch made me sensitive.

"Yoochun he is burning up."

I was carried straight back to the apartment, put under covers and made soup. Once again they were showing their true friendship...their worry.

I watched them carefully as they decided what medicine to give me. What food to feed me. They hooked up the humidifier. They let me watch whatever I wanted. They played my favorite music...until I drifted into sleep. However, before that happened I made the most important decision.

I owed it to them. After all they had done, I owed it to them to try my best. I couldn't be depressed anymore. Rather, I needed to make the child in my memories happy. For once, I needed to be a good mother. I needed to do it for my friends. I needed to get stronger. I needed to get healthy and become who I once was. I used to be Hero Jaejoong. I wasn't given that name by random...it was about time that I lived up to that. It was time for me to do what was right.

Tomorrow...tomorrow would begin the new beginning. My new start to this life. I would do whatever it took to repay all the debt I owed. Make right all the wrongs I had made. Make all my fans happy, and hopefully be forgiven for all the sins I had committed. Tomorrow would be the new beginning for me.

::Junsu P.O.V.::

I watched my hyung sleep. Even though he was sick...he looked so calm. His mind finally seemed to calm. He hadn't slept peacefully in nearly a year. I was happy to see that he could finally relax. I hoped that this would be the beginning of his rehab.

I was still angry though. There was one thing that I had to do. I owed it to Jaejoong because it had been my fault that it had happened at all.

I turned to Yoochun. He was already nodding at me with his closed eyes.

"I know what you are going to say...Kim Junsu. I know I can't hold you back, and right now I don't want to. So just go. I will take care of Jaejoong."

I hugged him tightly. This is why I loved him. He understood me and my feelings. I grabbed my coat, keys and phone before leaving the apartment.

Confronting Yunho would never be easy. No matter what happened, I would always respect him as a hyung. He had been my leader for years; however, this time was different. He had committed a wrong. Jaejoong was my hyung too. I wondered if he would be ok. If Jaejoong would be ok if I ended up spilling all of his secrets.

I walked up the steps. The steps that were still so familiar. It still felt like home even after all these years. I knocked on the door. It wasn't time to recall past memories.

I nearly punched him as soon as the door opened. However, I couldn't let my emotions get to me this soon.

"What are you doing here, Junsu? You know it's dangerous? Get lost."

I growled. I didn't allow him to shut the door in my face. Rather, I pushed the door open. I followed him inside where Changmin stared wide-eyed at me.

"Hyung!"

Not once do I remember him calling me hyung. I couldn't be bothered by it now though.

"Why did you do it?"

"You told me to see him."

I grabbed his shirt. My anger was boiling. Never before have I wanted to punch him so much.

"Why did you him?"

Yunho's eyes burned into mine. I knew he was regretting it...no matter how hard he was trying to hide it. This time he wasn't getting off easily.

"H-hyung...you?"

I glanced at Changmin. He was oblivious to the fact. He didn't know what happened at all. At least I could spare him once.

"He begged for it."

I was a little lost at what Yunho had said. No way in hell would Jaejoong beg for something like that. One, he was to weak to handle it. I was very aware of how unstable he was. He couldn't take such harsh movements easily. Two, Jaejoong couldn't speak and there had been no signs of Jaejoong writing anything. No where in the apartment had there been any signs of it. I released Yunho's shirt, but that didn't stop me.

"Did he say anything to you? He didn't say a word. He didn't even make a sound."

"How do you-?"

I punched him before he could finish the sentence. His response was all I had needed. I had my evidence.

"He lost his voice. He hasn't been able to speak since..."

I stopped. It wasn't my place to say anything. Jaejoong hyung had to be the one. I had to leave it to him. It was the only way to let everything be fixed.

"Since when? Junsu?"

I curled my hand into a fist again. This jerk. Was he only caring now?

"That's why I asked you to ask Jaejoong. I didn't tell you to him."

I growled the words lowly. I couldn't believe this was happening. How could there be a man like him?

"Yunho...hyung? Did you really Jaejoong hyung?"

I looked to Changmin. He was staring somewhere in between the two of us. Tears were swimming in his eyes. I was sorry that he had to find out like this.

"Junsu...why can't he speak?"

I pushed his hands off of me. I didn't want him to touch me. My point for coming here wasn't to make him worry all of a sudden. I had wanted to make him regret what he did.

"Don't ever go near him again, Jung Yunho. Don't even look at him."

I turned from him, but I was caught only a second later.

"Please...Junsu?"

I whipped around, facing him. I didn't want to see his tears. Not after Jaejoong had shed so many while he was alone. When he had suffered alone. When he had done everything he possibly could have done...and now he was still regretting and suffering for everything that hadn't been his fault.

"Why do you care now? Do you care because he is here? You know where he is, so you care? Why didn't you try to find him? Why didn't you try to find us? We were waiting, Jung Yunho."

I pushed him causing him to stumble a few feet back.

"I...I tried. Really. I looked all around Korea. I thought you wouldn't have left the country. I regretted not looking for you in Japan too."

"Don't lie! If you cared, you would have done everything. It wouldn't have been hard to find us. It wouldn't have been hard to find you the truth. You could have even asked your manager!"

I turned around as soon as the words were out. I had said too much. I needed to leave before I said anything I shouldn't. I began walking out, but I was stopped again.

"Why should my manager know about Jaejoong? Junsu? What happened?"

I closed my eyes. I couldn't spill. I had to stay silent.

"Ask that damn manager. Ask him!"

I screamed at him, but he wasn't allowing me to leave.

I was so angry. Thinking about how that manager had asked Jaejoong to abort the baby. He hadn't had any mercy...he hadn't thought about Jaejoong or how hurt he had been either.

"Is Jaejoong ok? Please tell me!"

I spun around. I was too angry. I knew if I stayed much longer I wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer.

"Jaejoong is sick! He has a high fever now because of you. You must have seen it too! How weak he is. He is beyond depression. He has lost himself!"

Yunho fell to his knees while holding onto me. I glared at him as the painful tears fell. I could even hear Changmin's sad sobs.

"Why is he like that!?! Please...Junsu."

I looked away from him. He didn't deserve to see my tears. Not after all that had happened.

"Please Junsu!"

I took a step back as I glanced angrily at him. He made me angry. Everything he had done and everything he hadn't done...all of it made me angry.

"HE LEFT TO PROTECT THE BABY YOU LEFT INSIDE HIM!"