I refused to let depression sink back into my heart. I was still hurt from the open wound that the news of our baby had caused, but I would never let it defeat me. Rather, I would celebrate his short life on this planet. His short time when he hadn't suffered or gone through pain. I would celebrate the good. He deserved it.

"Jaejoong?"

I glanced beside me. Being home wasn't easy either. It reminded me of who we should be here with, who was left behind. I stared as Yunho stood beside me with a strange look in his eyes. I hadn't really been talking to him since we got home. It was hard to accept that he had easily forgiven me when I hadn't forgiven myself. He had made all the efforts in the world, but it was hard to believe that I had been so close to handing him a child and it had been taken from me again.

"Jaejoong? I have something for you."

I looked down at the blanket, playing with it. I was curious, and he made me feel happy. There was still a part of me that felt like I didn't deserve it though.

I glanced at him, meeting his eyes as he sat down beside me. I was surprised when he held out a picture. I grabbed it quickly, staring at it. It was a tiny baby boy. His blue baby cap and a blue blanket wrapped tightly around him. It hurt so much to see him like this. He was so tiny and yet he looked so similar to Yunho.

"He's beautiful Jaejoong."

The words only allowed my tears to spread. I leaned forward slowly. I needed him. I needed his warm arms and his love.

"You did good Jaejoong."

His warm breath tickled my ear. I took a deep, steadying breath as he released me. How could he say such things? When our baby wasn't alive.

"We made a beautiful baby, and we will do it again."

Yunho whispered before crushing our lips together.

I loved him so completely and passionately, that I could only push myself closer to him. Into his lap. Into his arms. Into his heart.

"Jaejoong." Yunho whispered my name breathlessly as I started to his shirt. I didn't have time to waste. I needed him. I needed to know that this was right.

Yunho seemed to agree as he pushed me back so he could take the top. I frustratedly pulled my t-shirt off, throwing it to the ground.

"Mmm Joongie."

The nickname. It got me everytime. I twirled my fingers gently in his soft brown hair as he kissed my neck, my chest, my abs.

"HYUNG!"

I fell back into the pillows when I heard Junsu's dolphin voice. I couldn't look at him from the embarrassment of being caught in such a heated moment.

"Jaejoong! You can't do this! What if it harms the baby?"

I couldn't believe he was asking this now. I stayed silent, unmoving as Yunho scrambled to a standing position.

"Besides! You have a doctor's appointment."

I nodded my head, carefully getting up and replacing my shirt.

"Alright Junsu."

I followed the boy out of the room, but not without holding hands with Yunho. I was so happy to be in this moment with him. To love him and that he was willing to give me another shot.

At The Hospital~~

I wondered around the hospital. Junsu had been too impatient for the doctor's appointment, just as he had been before. Yunho went to sign me in, but I was too impatient to stay in one spot. Instead I found the nursery.

Watching the beautiful babies. Hearing them cry, or sleep. They were all precious gifts to this world.

I gently rubbed my stomach. I was worried. Scared stiff. I really had no idea if I could do this. If I could see another baby suffer because of me.

I jumped as two arms wrapped around me, a hand covering my stomach.

"Are you ok?"

I nodded my head, not sure if it was the right answer.

"I'll do everything you need. I'll do anything."

I felt so happy to hear those words. They had been what I wanted to hear during the first pregnancy. Now, it felt like a reassurance.

"Kim Jaejoong?"

I turned, finding the nurse waiting for me.

I confidently walked into the room with her. One thing on my mind.

I sat through the same check-up that I had only a year ago, until I was finally able to ask my burning question.

"Do you have any questions or concerns?"

I hesitated at first, feeling embarrassed that this would be my first question.

"Having a relationship...will that hurt the baby?"

Hi readers!

So I'm still pretty exhausted, but I finally had time to post!

I'll update as soon as possible, and I'm sorry that it took me

awhile. Sorry that this chapter is pretty crappy too. Promise

that the next chapter will be beyond amazing!