letting go
APATHY"Luhan, can you please tell me, at this moment of time, what you believe will help you the most?"
The boy straightened in his comfortable red armchair and looked at the woman confused, "Aren't you supposed to tell me that?"
The psychologist laughed slightly and nodded her head a bit, "I understand what you mean, but it's been almost half a year now you have been coming to see me after you woke up from your accident. We have gone over everything and you say you feel like a new version of yourself."
"I do," Luhan confirmed, "I don't hear the voice anymore. I don't cling to the past, I have learnt to let it be, to live in the moment. I have learnt how to meditate and stay calm, which has helped me recover faster from any ashtma problems I have had."
"Exactly," the woman adjusted her glasses on her nose and then ticked something off her clipboard, "So what do you feel you need now. You have improved so much. Is there anything, anything at all, which still somehow prevents you to be fully yourself or anything which still causes any abnormal behaviour?"
Luhan leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and thought about it. He knew the answer, he was just scared to say it aloud. Maybe it was time to share it.
" It's been almost a year, doctor, " Luhan started eyes still closed, "Only a month remaining and it will a year since a last saw them."
"How do you feel?" the psychiatric asked carefully watching his reaction.
"I don't feel anything in particular," Luhan admitted truthfully, "I just feel thatthe way things ended was not right."
"As if something was left unsaid between you and your friends?"
Luhan looked at the doctor and nodded his head yes, "They think I am dead."
"Do you feel somehow guilty of keeping the truth from them?"
"From Jongin and Kyungsoo, yes."
"What about Sehun?"
"I don't really care what he thinks really," Luhan said.
"Okay, so you're saying you do feel like there could be another chance for your friends?"
"I don't know about chances, just that I don't want them to think of me the way they thought our last meeting. I don't want them to blame themselves for my supposed death because I am very much alive."
"Okay so Luhan, this is a very serious question," the psychiatric took a deep breath as Luhan embraced himself for the worse, "Do you want to meet Jongin and Kyungsoo or any of the two?"
Luhan had thought about it several times so he knew the answer clearly, "Yes," he said with confidence.
"And what about Sehun. Would you like to see Sehun again?"
"No," Luhan said impassive.
"That is your choice, given all that has happened. All the trauma he put you through," the psychiatric said, "But as for your friends, I assure you it is the right thing to do."
Luhan nodded in approval.
"I agree that you should go back, even if for a few days, and explain yourself out to your f
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