Elena: hey my finals are tomorrow. will you give me korean lessons? haha

Only For Emergencies: lol

I passed them. Barely. They say that having a partner is the best way to learn another language. While Joshua and I speak mostly in English, being around 12 other boys who speak mostly Korean must have helped. 

Because with the spontaneous trip to Busan with the crew (minus Kimmy), guerrilla heart attack texts from Joshua, and constant worrying about going home, I didn’t study. At all. Not that it matters.

We went to Busan because with the comeback this Thursday, the boys were 100% in the zone and we didn’t want to distract them.

Busan, in summary was…entertaining. The first night we went to a bar next to Gwangalli Beach. Sav got tipsy pretty much immediately and convinced the owners to give us free barbecue. Hampton helped and got us free drinks. To make a long story short, we ended up on the beach with these two drunk Korean guys lighting off sparklers at 3am. Hampton brought his bluetooth speakers and I was determined to learn the Boys Be album before the comeback. We blasted Mansae through the sand and it echoed across the water. Sav had to pee. I tried to find a bathroom but she ended up just peeing on the breaker wall, big brown a** under a full moon. I at least convinced her to not hookup with the bartender. He wasn’t nearly as cute as Kai or Wonwoo. And she believed me. I also had to stop Hampton, who, inspired by Sav, thought he’d try a beach fling and he deemed Gwangalli clean enough. I reminded him of Seungkwan and he actually stopped. I ship them so hard. Meanwhile, Sam collected seashells and put them in his khaki pants pockets. He hasn’t quite been the same since the whole Kimmy thing. Oh Kimmy. 

Other than that, I ordered Vernon’s neon green yarn which took a ridiculous amount of online searching. Why is he so high maintenance. I’ll get around to knitting that sometime. Before I leave.

Shua: Hey our album drops tomorrow. Can we come see you guys?

_______________________________________________________________________

Around midnight, a litter of boys came.

Sam, Hampton, Sav, and I had been living in the Ritz the past two weeks. It’s at least 4 times the size of my place, the beds are heavenly, and we didn’t want to miss a single moment with each other. Vernon’s still the only one who knows I’m leaving.

In 10 days.

I haven’t packed. I haven’t cleaned. I haven’t told the landlady. Because if I don’t think about it then it’s not real.

“you?”

Joshua smiled big and put his arm around my waist.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?” he stood back, snapback hiding what is probably sweaty hair.

I need to tell him. He needs to know. I want to come back. But I don’t know when or how that will be. 

“Yeah I’m fine.”

Chan came in last with a massive bag slung over his shoulders Santa Clause style. Sam ran over to help him and put it on the white leather couch.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Presents,” Joshua said smiling.

“I just ordered six pizzas they should be here in 10 minutes,” Hampton shouted over the chatter.

Eruption of cheers.

“But I’m on a diet…” Seungkwan complained.

“I just ordered six pizzas they should be here in 10 minutes,” Hampton looked him straight in the eye, “and everyone is going to have to eat some because the fridge is already full of Sav’s vitamin drinks.”

Seungcheol walked over to the leather bag and ordered everyone’s attention.

“I have some presents, for our friends,” he said opening the bag.

He took out a yellow book and a pink book, tied with a purple twirled ribbon. He looked at a paper attached, “this one is for Sam.” Chan stepped forward and brought it to Sam. 

“Here you go hyung,” he said. 

Seriously this is like Christmas.

“That one is for Hampton,” Seungkwan grabbed the next set out of Seungcheol’s hands. It looked exactly the same, but with different ribbons.

Joshua went next, “that one is Elena’s”. 

A small card attached that just said, “a gift for my princess” in awkward cursive.

Melting.

“So, I’m guessing the last one is for me,” Sav took it out of Seungcheol’s hands.

They aren’t books.

They’re albums.

We sat on the bed to look at them.

“They’re so…fancy…”

“The pink version has the pictures we took at Jeju,” he said opening it up. 

This is the cutest thing I’ve seen.

I heard Seungkwan explaining the different pictures to Hampton. Chan, Seungcheol, and Woozi stood around Sam.

Sav was over in the corner by herself. The yellow album in her lap, holding something up to the light and chewing on her thumbnail.

“Anyone want to trade for Seungkwan,” Seungcheol held up an actual bookmark. 

“Hey—“ Seungkwan said defensively, 

“I’ll take it!” Hampton said. 

A picture of Jun fell into my lap.

What on earth.

“How about a Jun?” I laughed

Everyone was too absorbed in the albums.

“Going once, going twice…”

“Excuse me!” Jun strutted over flipping his hair.

“I have a Vernon, Ellie,” Sam said waving another card.

“Done.”

Where is Vernon anyway.

“What’s wrong with Jun?” Joshua asked.

“Nothing!” I said opening the yellow version. 

“Then why did trade for Vernon?” he looked so confused.

“I was just playing. Jun needs some humility,” Seungcheol handed me the Vernon and took the Jun, “I would have traded for anyone.”

Right?

He looked skeptical but let it go. “I like letter version more, personally,” he took the yellow one out of my hands.

I thought them holding seashells on a beach was precious.

This is even more so. 

Wonwoo holding a blow up flamingo. A freaking flamingo.

Seungcheol clutching a golden retriever like he just saved it from the pound.

I’ll have to look at this thoroughly later.

“It’s amazing,” I said closing the book.

“Wait you didn’t see my page yet,” he said.

He took it from me and a card fell out.

Oh my god.

“Hey look who I got,” I held it up to his face. Little Joshua holding a striped present with a big red ribbon.

“Your hair looks incredible,” it’s shaved on either side with the middle gelled up.

“Really?” he said grabbing the card, “I strongly dislike it.”

He flipped through the book.

“Here,” he handed it to me.

There he is--holding a book. His message was first in Korean, and then English.

"If only the main characters of this fairytale were you and me.

I'll make you my princess, and we'll stay forever happy."

http://imgur.com/a/IvL6c

My  heart dropped. 

Guilt.

Guilt.

Guilt.

“What? What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Oh no nothing—I just…wasn’t expecting,” my voice trailed off.

A memory of our little date, forever preserved. Not in a personal scrapbook. But in hundreds of thousands of copies distributed around the world.

“I thought you’d like it,” his eyes drooped like a puppy.

“No I do! Of course I do!” 

I hugged him around his shoulders.

He hugged me back and we sat there.

Guilt.

Guilt.

Wait.

I let him go.

Thankfully everyone was still preoccupied. 

Sav held the paper in her hand and was staring at a specific page in the Letter version.

“Ok but look at my page,” Jeonghan grabbed it from my hands, “don’t I look beautiful.”

He’s standing the rain, under a pink umbrella. 

“Definitely,” I said. 

“I was talking to myself,” Jeonghan said glaring at me.

“Hey—“ Joshua took the album back from Jeonghan

“Converse which cards did you get?” Vernon appeared. Blue beanie today.

“Where were you?”

“Oh sorry, Hoshi, Wonwoo, and I were just practicing the choreography a few minutes more.”

“Because they need the extra practice,” Jeonghan said.

“No—because our part is the hardest. You sit on the couch the entire time.”

“The couch?”

“You’re coming to our comeback stage tomorrow right?” He took off his beanie, smoothed his hair, and put it back on in one movement.

“I haven’t told them yet guys,” Joshua said. “But yeah. Tomorrow is our comeback stage…it’s way out in Ilsan. And the weather isn’t supposed to be good. But I’d love if you came.”

“Yeah of course,”

His smile made me smile.

What’s Jeonghan staring at.

My hand was resting on Joshua’s knee.

Whoops.

Not moving it.

“Oh…thanks for the necklace” Sav stood up as Wonwoo went over to her. Black sweatpants, black hoodie, gold round glasses.

He looked at the ground, “oh that’s nothing,” he handed her another envelope, hands trembling. “This is for you,” he blushed.

Oh my god.

Vernon, Joshua, Jeonghan, and I all looked at each other. 

The doorbell rang.

“Pizza’s here!” Hampton ran to the door.

_____________________________

They left right after pizza. 

Big day tomorrow.

Joshua just gave me a little wave.

Guilt.

Guilt. 

Guilt.

I’ll tell him tomorrow.

I’ll tell everyone tomorrow.

I climbed into Sav’s bed.

She laid on her side, the blanket.

I waited until the boys went into their room before asking.

“So…” I grabbed her hand.

“Tell me! What did it say!” 

Without her makeup she looked so much younger. You would never suspect what happened to her. You would never expect that someone did that to her.

“Ellie…I think I made a mistake.”

Oh no.

“What do you mean?”

She pulled the paper from off the side table.

“The day after we all met, Wonwoo texted me.” She handed me the paper. “We just started texting back and forth and somehow…over the past few weeks…I’ve told him about…everything,” she bit her lip.

“Everything?” I said.

Wow.

“I’m so stupid,” she teared up.

That makes four people who know. Sav, the soldier, me, and Wonwoo.

"What do you mean? You're not stupid!" I her hair as she buried her face in her pillow.

This is very bad. She's Sav. She doesn't break down like this.

Now I'm tearing up.

I unfolded the paper.

Wonwoo’s messy handwriting filled the page.

Hey,

I hope you can read my handwriting, I know it . I’m sorry. 

You know I’m not good at talking. So I’m sitting here. Writing this letter.

I don’t know if I’ll even be able to give it to you. If you’ll ever get it. Or if I’ll just throw it in the air and let it float away so you never see it.

I know I just met you today, but I think you’re like me.

And if you are, you have painful things in your past.

Things that you’re trying to forget.

And if you’re like that, just know that I won’t hurt you.

And that I can stay by your side and help you erase them.

-Wonwoo

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a/n In the middle of writing this-- pledis released Jun's teaser which has 25 seconds of emo joshua. Which is SO PERFECT because this is the last fluff chapter.

To the few people still reading (I love you), I hope you enjoyed this happy story. You can stop now if you want. Unless you are a masochist, like me, and enjoy reading about lives falling apart.