Mingyu

For some reason Wonwoo ended up sleeping in my bed again. This really needs to stop soon or I won't be able to sleep without him. It's already really bad when I want to sleep in here without envisioning him beside me. It'll only get harder from now on. He probably doesn't even know what effect this is having on me. And I'm not about to tell him all about it. Every time he sleeps next to me, he seems so at peace. I've thought this before, but it's really true. Whenever he's awake he seems so troubled all of the time. The only times he seems like himself is when he sleeps or when we're just being together and laughing. It doesn't really happen that much, but when it happens it's beautiful. More beautiful than any sunset or sunrise on this planet. Wonwoo is my esthetic. 

"Stop looking at me", he groans and turns his back towards me. I pout, but he can't even see it. "Don't you dare pout."

"You know me all too well", I say with a little chuckle. There is no one who knows me like he does. Wonwoo hasn't known me for that long, but he already knows what I'm about to do. 

"And don't lean in for a kiss. You know I won't be able to resist", he groans again. And he knows that this will not make me stop from leaning in and doing exactly what he just told me not to do. He turns towards me as he feels me leaning in. Our lips touch only briefly, but it's enough to send my heart in a beating frenzy. 

"No one can tell me what to do", I joke and he suddenly stiffens beside me. Did I say something wrong? "Tell me what you're thinking", I whisper because I'm afraid of the mood that is hanging in the air. 

"Your parents can tell you what to do. We both know that", he sighs and sits up. I shake my head, of course I had to make such a thoughtless remark. He is right. They can order me to do anything. Except for marrying YeonAh. I will never do that for them. 

"I won't marry her, I promise. You're the only one for me", I reassure him, but he just sits on the side of the bed, his back turned to me. Last night must've been very difficult for him. His confession struck me right in the heart, but it felt like he had spent such a long time thinking it over. The fact that he did confess is amazing, but I can't take it for granted. Wonwoo still has a long road ahead of him when it comes to recognizing his feelings. Towards me and all the other people in his life. He might not believe me now when I say he's everything to me, but he will, in the future. We'll work on it, together. Like every couple should. 

"You say that now..." he starts, but stops himself before it gets too emotional. "I gave you everything I have last night. All of my feelings were bare, out on the floor. Just don't step on them. Don't promise me thing that can't be." His back slouches a little as I sit up too. I sit beside him, but don't look at him. "I want this, us, right now. We don't know where it'll take us, but let's just stay like this for now. Enjoy the moment. If it comes to and end, it does." 

"Where is all of this coming from? Don't you believe in us? As a couple? Don't you think we can make it?" I ask him in all seriousness. I believe we can make it, but there's no point in continuing this if he doesn't feel the same way. He'll just look for reasons to call it quits. 

"I do believe in us. But I've seen what society can do to people. All I'm saying is that I won't blame you when this all ends", he sighs. The fact that he said 'when' and not 'if' makes me worry even more. He does believe it is going to end. Maybe not soon, but in the end there'll be no more us. 

"Let's drop this for now and just go for coffee. Our class doesn't start until 9 and it's 7:30 right now", I get up and reach out my hand for him to take. He takes it without hesitating. I pull him in for a big hug and then pull back a little to peck his lips. He seems very troubled again. "I wish you would worry less and enjoy this more." 

"I'm trying", he sighs and leans in to me. His head is resting on my shoulder while I his . His slender figure still amazes me in so many ways. He seems so frail, but is so strong.  Never judge a book by its cover. 

"I know. And I really appreciate it. The way you told