Seungcheol was still in euphoria, even after Jeonghan had pulled away, he couldn’t get over the shock

“I surprised you didn’t I?” Jeonghan playfully said

“Umm” Seungcheol was at loss for words,his voice must have left his body in those few seconds kissing Jeonghan

“I’ll take that as a yes” Jeonghan replied to him, not looking as dazed as Seungcheol but still a bit flustered

“Why?” Seungcheol asked. It was impossibly hard for him to croak out that word.

“I don’t know” Jeonghan responded I do “To surprise you?”

That statement, seemed more like a question than anything, Jeonghan seemed uncertain as to the reason why he suddenly kissed Seungcheol. It was easy to just blame in on something else like alcohol but that wasn’t really the case. It just felt right, even though it wasn’t.

“Jeonghan, you have Jis…”

“I KNOW, I KNOW ALREADY” Jeonghan yelled. He was uncertain of the reason for his sudden outburst, maybe it was to compensate for the fact that he was in love with someone who he couldn’t be with. Someone, or someones

“There’s no need to yell”

“I-It’s just that my life right now, it’s so complicated. TOO complicated” Jeonghan yelled.

He saw Seungcheol shrink back into his seat, afraid of Jeonghan’s tone and he regretted yelling in the first place.

“Cheol, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I really didn’t” Jeonghan meekly said

“Hannie, what’s really happening between you and Jisoo?”

Jeonghan thought for a second, he didn’t really know, it was as if he were floating through space without a care in the world when suddenly Seungcheol was the weight that brought him back to earth, back to the cruel reality.

“I don’t know” Jeonghan responded, afraid of his words afraid of all the possibilities between himself and Jisoo, and Seungcheol.

“Is he abusing you?” Seungcheol asked

Jeonghan gasped at Seungcheol’s words, he was in shock that someone could think that Jisoo would ever do that.

“No, he isn’t”

“He’s hurting you, isn’t he?” Seungcheol asked, all the emotion gone from his eyes, in his place was a statue, a statue that spoke the words that Jeonghan feared the most

“No he isn’t” said jeonghan, “He hasn’t put his hands on me like that”

“I don’t mean like physical abuse, I mean mental abuse” Seungcheol said, his face unchanging

“What?” Jeonghan asked, he was in his own mind, trying to figure out a time when Jisoo hurt him

“He’s hurting you Jeonghan” said Seungcheol

“You have no proof” Jeonghan tried to fight of Seungcheol’’s words with his own but they crumbled down like walls made of sand as he said them

“I’ve seen you cry over him, over him being with Chungae. That hurts you”

“But that was just once” Jeonghan tried, he tried to fight those harsh words that pierced his heart

“No it wasn’t, I know that it hurts you to see him with another person”

Jeonghan remained silent, his words were too weak, he was to weak to fight against the truth.

“Just let go of him already” Seungcheol continued “You’re running after a guy who has a girlfriend”

“I know” Jeonghan said after many moments of silence

Does he even love you?” Seungcheol asked

Jeonghan was close to tears, the truth hurt him, it really did. He never accepted reality and no one ever made him accept it, all he did was live in a world inside his head which was filled with happiness. That world was just a figment of his imagination where all that existed was happiness and love. The real world wasn’t like that, it was filled with sadness, lies and hate. All things that Jeonghan never wanted for himself.

“I don’t want you to get hurt” Seungcheol’s voice softened, his stone cold appearance fading into a more human one.

“Can’t you see that I’m already hurt?!? I have been suffering because of Jisoo and you’re here telling me what I already know. I don’t want to accept the truth, I know that. I don’t want to fall into uncertainty” Jeonghan cried, he cried out to no one, for there was no one in his mind that could ever help him, no one who could piece him back together

“I’m just trying to help you”

“ I don’t want your help. I just want Jisoo to love me”

“He shouldn’t the only thing that should be important to you”

“He’s the only person that ever really loved me”

“THE ONLY PERSON WHO REALLY LOVES YOU IS ME, I TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AND ALL YOU DO IS RUN AFTER JISOO, GET OVER HIM ALREADY!!!” Seungcheol yelled, he was tired of everything being about Jisoo,

“Seungcheol”

“Just go Seungcheol”

“Hannie, I’m trying to help you”

“Just go”

~~~~~~~~~~

“You told me to wait for you here angel, what do you need?” Asked Jisoo when Jeonghan stepped into the one of many music rooms in their school. This was a particularly isolated on the piano was untuned and some of the keys were broken, it was a perfect spot for what Jeonghan was about to say

“I need to tell you something” Jeonghan said breathe in, breathe out, it'll be alright

“Yeah” said Jisoo unexpectant of what was to come, he looked at Jeonghan with his honey brown eyes, the eyes that Jeonghan would get so lost in.

“I don’t think that we should do this anymore” Jeonghan said, he didn’t wait, he didn’t stall, he said it. It was easier than he thought, those few words rolled off his tongue and Jeonghan surprised himself with the amount of confidence he used to say those words.

“What!?” Jisoo asked, he was confused of what Jeonghan had meant. At least, that’s what Jeonghan pulled from his tone, he might be confused of what ‘this’ meant, or he might be confused if this was reality or a total nightmare.

“I’ve been thinking, you have a girlfriend, and we’re not together anymore” said Jeonghan. Every word he said made him regret his decision of telling this to Jisoo but he had already started and there was no turning back now.

“But-” Jisoo cut him off, he didn’t want to hear what jeonghan was going to say, he wanted to run away from this conversation, run away from what Jeonghan was going to tell him. It was inevitable, he knew that this was coming.

“Please let me finish. I don’t think this is working out” Jeonghan said, just like Seungcheol earlier, Jeonghan tried to keep his emotions locked up inside of him, he tried to not show what he was feeling

“Why do you say that Angel?” asked Jisoo, with some sort of hope in his voice, he didn’t want this to happen, none of them did but it was for the better

“Jisoo, I don’t know if you know this but you really hurt me after we broke up, I went through a lot and when I see you with Chungae, it just reminds me of everything we had” Jeonghan tried to say everything he needed to say in as few words as possible, he didn’t want to break down, he didn’t want to make this harder than it should be, he had already gotten past the breakup stage. The stage where he cried over everything that reminded him of Jisoo, now, he needed to finally get over Jisoo, finally be free.

Jisoo stood there, speechless, he wanted Jeonghan to cry, to say something that had regret in it but he didn’t. Jeonghan stood there like a rock, his fists were all balled up and every few seconds, he would clench and unclench them.

“Jisoo, you can say you love me with words but you’re dating another girl, and I can’t compete with that. I’m sorry” Jeonghan said, he didn’t dare to show how he was feeling, he didn’t dare to show Jisoo the pain he was going through.

“Hannie-” Jisoo said. He reached out his arm to hold Jeonghan’s hand but Jeonghan pulled his hand out of Jisoo’s grasp

“Jeonghan, call me Jeonghan” Jeonghan said and he looked up at Jisoo with confidence, he was going to end this

“Jeonghan, I love you” Jisoo said, his eyes were filling up with tears as he tried to blink them away. He said those words with so much feeling, they seemed real.

“Jisoo, I love you too but I can’t stop chasing you like this, it hurts me and I just want it to stop” Jeonghan said, he wouldn’t deny that he loved Jisoo, he would just deny the pain that it brought him, the longing for someone by his side. The longing for someone to share all his secrets with, the longing for someone love him.

“Why?” Jisoo choked out, he couldn’t speak for he feared that he’d break down in tears.

Jeonghan gave him a sad smile, he tried to show how sorry he was but Jisoo didn’t see it. All he saw was red, he was angry at Chungae, angry at Seungcheol. In his eyes, they were the people responsible for this mess, for his heartbreak.

“It was Seungcheol wasn’t it?” said Jisoo with more anger than he had ever said anything. His words were anger mixed with jealousy, his precious little angel had been taken away from him and he was ready to kill anyone who would keep him away.

Jeonghan looked at his feet in a sort of guilt, it wasn’t Seungcheol who forced him to completely break up with Jisoo but it was Seungcheol who helped heal him, who helped to show him that his secret relationship wasn’t working out.

“ANSWER ME!!” Jisoo yelled into Jeonghan’s face, he didn’t care if he hurt his angel, he was filled with rage and envy.

Jeonghan flinched, he didn’t dare to look up from where he was standing, he didn’t want to see Jisoo at the moment, he wanted to leave and cry in Seungcheol’s comforting arms

“I knew it, I knew that he would take my precious little angel away from me” said Jisoo as if he knew that Seungcheol would do this to him

Jeonghan heard footsteps and looked up to see Jisoo walking to the door, he knew that Jisoo would go after Seungcheol, no matter what anyone told him.

“”Seungcheol did nothing wrong” Jeonghan blurted out, he was determined to defend Seungcheol, the most innocent out of the three.

“Do you expect me to believe that?” Jisoo asked, he didn’t even wait for an answer from Jeonghan because he didn’t care what he had to say

“JEONGHAN I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU FROM CHUNGAE, SHE THREATENED TO DO TERRIBLE THINGS TO YOU IF I WOULDN’T DATE HER.” Jisoo yelled, he tried to make Jeonghan see why he was doing all of this. He tried to make Jeonghan understand that he didn’t want this.

“Either way, she would have hurt me” Jeonghan bitterly said as he thought of Chungae and how she stole Jisoo from him.

“Jeonghan, it doesn’t have to be this way” Jisoo pleaded, he didn’t want this

“Jisoo, I’m sorry”

Jeonghan then walked out of the room, not looking back, his eyes were full of tears but unlike before, his heart wasn’t heavy, he was relieved.

~~~~~~~~~~

Seungkwan took out his phone where it was ringing in his pocket, from where it had been ringing nonstop for the past few days.

He looked at the caller ID and put his phone down to rest in his lap, soon enough, the ringing from his phone would stop and soon enough, the person calling him would stop.

86 missed calls, 93 unread messages

Just as soon as his phone stopped ringing, it started again, the same tone that used to make him so happy when that certain caller would call him.

He just let it ring, blocking out the sound and the pain it caused him.

87 missed calls, 94 unread messages

Seungkwan stared out the window of the plane he was in, it hadn’t taken off yet, but it would soon. He looked over the horizon, the sun was setting in the background, the colors of the sky missing together in something Seungkwan couldn’t describe.

“Umm excuse me” the girl beside him said, she appeared to be about 9 or 10, her dark brown dress seemed to match her eyes, her happy sparkling eyes.

“Yes” Seungkwan responded as he tuned his body to face the girl

“Your phone had been ringing ever since you sat down”

I know, and I‘m not going to answer it

“You should really answer it” said the girl “the person calling you must think that you are really important to them, that’s why they are calling you so much”

Seungkwan lightly chuckled at the girl’s words and how ironic they were

“I’m serious,” said the girl once she noticed Seungkwan chuckling “My mom and dad always call me before and after I get on a flight, they tell me that I mean a lot to them so they make sure to call me.”

Seungkwan was a bit puzzled by her words, why is a little girl like her going on a plane by herself?

Almost as if she could read Seungkwan’s mind, she responded to his question “My mom and dad are divorced and they live on other sides of the world. Sometimes, I live with my mom and sometimes I live with my dad.”

“Oh” Seungkwan said, unsure of whether to comment on how unsafe it could be for a child of her age to be on a plane by herself

“I really don’t know why they got divorced, they love each other more than people in the movies” sighed the girl, she paused to let Seungkwan speak but he gestured with his hand to let her continue

“Sometimes, I see them crying over each other, they’ll just cry for hours even though they got divorced a long time ago.” the girl continued

“My dad said something that got my mom so mad, she left. He tried to call her and talk to her but she ran away from her. After a few months, he got a file for divorce from her, he didn’t know what to do, he tried, he really did but my mom wouldn’t listen to him. They have agreed to share my custody but sometimes I wish that my mom and dad never got divorced, it made no sense. My dad’s screensaver is a picture of my mom and he always asks about how she is when I visit him. My mom does the same thing, I try to get them to talk but they won’t. It’s all really stupid”

Seungkwan thought about what she said, if they really love each other, then why aren’t they together? Why is the mother running away?

The girl looked up at Seungkwan, her eyes were less sparkly than before, but she had a glimmer of hope in them which made Seungkwan smile.

“You should really answer that call” she repeated as she gestured to Seungkwan’s phone

“I will” he said as he stood up, he didn’t feel as tired as he was before, he had a genuine smile on his face as he answered the call, just like before.

“Hello?” Seungkwan said, he tried to hide all he was feeling inside his head, making his words seem blank and uninviting

“Seungkwan? Baby?” The person on the other side of the line responded, unlike Seungkwan, you could hear the emotion in his voice, there was worry and just like the girl’s eyes, a glimmer of hope.

“Yes” Seungkwan responded, his voice still cold

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” the voice said, it sounded like the person on the end of the line was close to tears the way he spoke

“Hansol” Seungkwan said “please stop callin-”

“Seungkwan, please forgive me. I’m a stupid idiot, I know. Please don’t leave me”

“I don’t know what to say” he dared not to say anything that would show the caller how he was feeling, he couldn’t show his emotions to him

“I’m a terrible person, I know” the caller said, his voice sounded so hopeful, hopeful that Seungkwan would open back up to him, hopeful that Seungkwan would go back to crying in his arms instead of crying by himself.

“You’re not” Seungkwan stated, it was the truth anyways, he couldn’t lie.

“I can’t believe that I messed up this badly, I lost the love of my life just when I was about to marry him” sighed the caller, his voice was full of regret, something new to both of them

There was a moment of silence, Seungkwan couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t sound like he missed Hansol, he couldn’t lie, but he could run and hide.

“Tell me where you are, I can come and pick you up” The caller said, Seungkwan could clearly hear his jagged breaths, he knew if he kept this front any longer, the caller would break down in confusion.

“Seungkwan, I NEED you. I NEED you to stay by my side, I don’t want a stupid argument to get between us”

“It already did” Seungkwan did, with only a little emotion in his voice

“I”m not going to make up any excuses this time”

Seungkwan thought back to their previous quarrels, he remembered Hansol always making up stupid excuses for what he did wrong, sometimes, it was cute, sometimes it just made Seungkwan more upset but he never wanted Hansol to lie. This time, Seungkwan was hoping that Hansol had an excuse for what he did, he was hoping for a little lie that would cover up the pain he was feeling. A lie that would make everything seem wrong, a lie that would give a reason for Seungkwan to run away like he was doing.

The girl sitting next to him looked up at him where he was lost in his thoughts. She touched his arm and smiled, almost as if she were telling him to listen to Hansol and what he had to say, to make everything right again.

“Ok, I’m listening” Seungkwan whispered into the phone. He hoped that Hansol didn’t hear what he said but he knew the man, he would apologise thousands of times until Seungkwan would forgive him.

“I am very sorry for telling you that your mother should burn in hell, even though that sounds stupid, I do understand how much your mother means to you and I’m sorry for offending your family. I was stupid and I now realize how stupid it is to say that to you when we’re getting married soon, I can see how that might have influenced your decision in marrying me but I promise to never to treat you like that again. You are the one person that I love the most and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I was stupid to think that you’d be alright with me saying such things about your family”

Seungkwan’s barrier broke, all of his emotions poured out of his soul as he silently sobbed. Hansol had finally apologised and made everything right but here he was, sitting in a plane ready to leave any minute. He was running away, just like the mother of the girl sitting next to him. He was the one doing all the wrong, he was afraid so he ran. Now, he didn’t care if anyone saw him crying, all he cared about was Hansol, but Hansol was so far away.

“I-I forgive you” Seungkwan sobbed into the phone, his tears were rolling down his face like raindrops on a window pane. He didn’t care to wipe them away.

“Do you still want to marry me?” Hansol asked, he was unsure of what Seungkwan would say, he was scared too, scared of rejection and scared of losing Seungkwan.

No response, Hansol was worried so he decided to ask again, this time with a bit more reluctance in his voice, almost as if he knew that he was probably going to get rejected.

“Do you still want to marry me?” Hansol asked

Again, no answer was heard. Hansol didn’t know that Seungkwan was crying his eyes out at the unfortunate situation and that he muted Hansol so he wouldn’t hear his sobs. The silent tears had turned into full out sobs for the one person he needed the most and the one person who needed him the most.

“SEUNGKWAN DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME OR NOT?!” Hansol yelled, he was so worried, that Seungkwan had finally given up on him, he was already crying but he wasn’t prepared for such a deep rejection.

Seungkwan could sense that Hansol was worried, he could hear it in his voice, he turned off the mute button on his phone so that Hansol could hear his loud sobs that he had been holding in for so long

“I do, I really do” Seungkwan said, he heard Hansol sighing in relief. Seungkwan wished that he could sigh just like Hansol had, he wished that all the weight had been lifted off his shoulders but in reality, there was just more than before for him to carry. He was on a plane to somewhere far away from where he should be, he should be with Hansol, huddled up on their couch crying tears of relief.

“Then come over, I’ll be waiting for you” Hansol said, he was relieved and all he needed now was to hug and kiss Seungkwan, to tell him how much he loved him and to just be happy.

“Hansol, I’m on a plane leaving to Germany” Seungkwan choked out, the words left a bitter taste in his mouth and he was disgusted by saying them.

“WHAT!?!?” Hansol said in disbelief, his mind was blank, he had nothing to say. After everything had been resolved, something had to go wrong.

“Y-yeah” Seungkwan said, the truth was terrible, it hurt both of them

“When are you coming back?” Asked Hansol, he was hopeful that Seungkwan was just taking a short trip to clear his mind, He had hope to he wouldn’t need to face reality, he blocked out all ideas of Seungkwan leaving for more than a few weeks for something other than a short trip.

“In a year” Seungkwan said and slumped down in his seat, sometime during his phone conversation, the girl sitting beside him had managed to grab ahold of his arm and she hugged it tightly. He looked over to her and saw her crying with him, she knew how he felt, she understood the regret he was feeling.

Her eyes that used to be filled with hope were now scrunched up tightly, trying to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks and her arms were squeezing Seungkwan’s arm.

~~~~~~~~~~

What a terrible way to start the year; a kiss, a fight, a breakup and a flight.

~~~~~~~~~~

HELLO HELLO!!!!!

IT’S ME AND I’M BACK AGAIN WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!

I’M SORRY THAT THIS CAME A BIT LATE, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I WAS WORKING HARD TO MAKE THIS GOOD

DID YOU SEE “CHECK IN”?

IF YOU HAVEN’T, THEN GO AND CHECK IT OUT!!

I SMELL A SEVENTEEN COMEBACK COMING SOON

AHH I’M SO EXCITED!!!

WOW, SO I REALLY MESSED UP VERKWAN

SORRY

(NOT REALLY THO)

HMM…

I DON’T REALLY HAVE MUCH TO SAY

NOTHING MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THESE PAST 2 WEEKS

:(

I GUESS I SHOULD TALK ABOUT THE STORY

WELL, I’M KIND OF GLAD AND SAD THAT JIHAN BROKE UP

I KINDA LIKED THEM

BUT NOW JISOO IS OUT TO GET SEUNGCHEOL

\(O.O)/

 

MAYBE FLUFFY BUTTCHEEKS WILL PROTECT SEUNGCHEOL

OR MAYBE HE’LL HELP JISOO DO SOMETHING BAD TO SEUNGCHEOL

I KNOW I’M A TERRIBLE ANGST WRITER SO PLEASE DON’T HATE ME. I’M BETTER IN THE FLUFF DEPARTMENT.

WELL

THIS LOOKS LIKE THE END FOR THIS AN

SO

BUH-BYEE!!

ILYSM!!

-floweroone