Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do. It was just the first day of school and he had the most hard work, and that is his brother. Explanations, that is the thing that he was thinking the whole day on how can he persuade his brother that the reason why he kept the truth is because he wants to save him.

 

He prepared everything for his brother. He accepted the deal from chanyeol just to make sure his brother will not be bothered by his man. He was sacrificing himself for the sake of his brother. But then he didn’t able to prepare himself for the situation like this. He didn’t able to ready himself a better explanation for the truth. He is not prepared, he is not ready yet to reveal his real situation behind his laughter to his brother.

 

Taeyung was shock, he was surprised. Who would not? He still feel the chest pumping hard, and the feeling of being betrayed by the person he trusted and the person he wished to be his brother.

 

He didn’t go to his classes, he remained on the school gate. Sitting on the flower boxes, spacing out and once in a while wiping off of falling of tears. He stood up after being there almost the whole day when he heard the school bell already rang, sign that classes already ended. He doesn’t want to be caught by his friend and boyfriend crying, especially. He was waiting for his brother actually, expecting him to run after him but the director didn’t came to explain. Maybe he’s not important to his brother that’s why, that’s the thing that molded in thought. He walked, sniffing like a lost kid in the street. Empty hands and seems like his world were crashing slowly. He waited this time to meet his beloved brother but why he felt hurt and betrayed? Felt like he’s the only one who waited for their reunion.

 

Baekhyun was snap out from his nightmare when the bell woken him up. He parted from his chair and exited his quiet office. He walked faster like no one is greeting him, like no one on his way. Feeling so tense and worried about his brother. He was regretting that he just let him go and didn’t run when he walked away. He can still imagine how V was surprised, and the almost falling of tears. He checked every classrooms of taehyung to find him. Asking like he lost his kid.

 

“I’m sorry sir.. But kim taehyung didn’t attend our classes the whole day..Jung kook, taehyung’s friend and classmate said.

 

“I saw him few hours ago near the gate, when my mom came to give me something, he was sitting there, i tried to call him but he’s not answering so I just left him…another student spoke..

 

Troubled director, he proceeded to the parking lot. Thinking that V is still in the vicinity of the campus.

 

He started his car engine as soon as he step in and drove recklessly like a racer. Looking on both sides of the street, checking if his brother is around the corners, few meters away when he stopped in the highway due to the red light, V was crossing the lane lifeless. He stepped out and called.

 

“V!…he shouted but the poor boy just run when he saw who was calling.

 

The older drove even though the red light hasn’t change just to catch the boy who run away. Parking on the side. He quickly hopped out from the car to get his brother.

 

“leave me alone!!! V screamed while wiggling his hand to shove him…

 

“V listen,,please listen to me…come to me first and I will explain..please..baekhyun said, persuading the younger to come and to calm.

 

“What explanation? You lie to me,,,you did,,,why? Why did you keep that from me..you don’t want me to know that you are my brother… you don’t,, don’t want me!!! V said crying and struggling from the older’s grip..

 

“that’s not true..come to me first okay..please…I have the reason for this…baekhyun told…

 

V stopped struggling and fell his chin to his brother’s shoulder. Baekhyun hugged him tight and keeps on saying sorry. He had the opportunity to take his brother in the car, settling him inside and locked the door if in case V will panic again and run. Silence followed. V just froze and stared in front while baekhyun doesn’t know where to start. Will he tells him from the moment he left him in the orphanage? Or will he just tell him his situation why he did kept it for a long time?

 

“I’ve waited for the time to meet my real brother. I even went to the orphanage and talk to the mother who take good care of me, I was happy when I knew that someone is searching for me..I left a note and told her to give that to whoever will come to them to find me, but time passes and I lose hope because no one came to find me.. Taehyung broke the silence and started to let out his feelings.

 

“I’m sorry,,was the only word baekhyun could utter. His tears escaped from his small eyes, having a glimpse to his brother while talking, he wanted to touch him and wipe the tears from the younger’s cheek but something was preventing to do so..

 

“and then you came…I know you are the director of the school but there's no moment that i think of you, your eyes, your words, the way you stare at me, the way you care for me, the way you give your attention for me…I felt like I am with my real brother.. And when I knew your name, Baekhyun, I thought you were my brother, but I told myself I was wrong because you are living well with your mom and family. Then you said that you can be my brother since I haven’t found my real brother..I was so happy, I even told my parents about you.. V continued..

 

“V,,I got your note from the mother..I was shocked that time. I want to tell you when we were still in the airport but I am still confused because there are papers that was sent to me from my private investigator and the name taehyung was there in the list of orphans who died when the orphanage was burnt..it took me some time to reassure that you are my brother….

 

“then why you didn’t told me,,, why you didn’t ask me,,you know my story about my brother, I even tell you story about my memories with my brother, the only memory I have with him…I told you my story but then you kept in silence, you just listen to my stories!….

 

“I’m sorry….

 

“sorry? How many times you will say sorry to me just because you didn’t told me the truth? A hundred times, a thousand times? I just want to be with you,,I want to see my brother again,,,but you are so selfish and you kept it from me..we meet almost everyday!!.. We laugh, we share some problems, I ran to you whenever I have fight with jin, I tell you whenever my parents make me so happy because I want to share my life with you!!!…V yells while gripping tight on his pants

 

“I live in a huge mansion, luxury, living like rich one since I live with the man who helped me have a better life, I have my career..but I don’t have a perfect life….I live with chanyeol, a famous businessman, and the chairman and owner of the school..I owe him my life. He saved me once but the payment is me living with them as his right hand, his mom treats me like his own son, ren treats me like his real brother, I have no complaints yes, until we started a relationship, I thought it will be perfect, but no..it was hard, I always endure everything….baekhyun started his story too holding back his sobs..he doesn’t know what to explain, and he finds it hard to dig a good explanation, so thinking that telling his story behind his successful career could be a help.

 

“then what was the problem? If you just tell me the truth then I could help you, at least you have me beside you with that not so perfect life you have….

 

“I live following everything he said, I follow everything he commands me, he’s the boss and I am just his slave. I worked hard for him, I gave everything he wants without complaints, because for me, it’s my responsibility, if not because of him, maybe i am already a cold dead body ..

 

“Hyung if he’s the boss and you are his right hand, and you’re working with him then why you have to keep everything to me? I just can’t understand it for goodness sake!!! what are you? an wmployee, a lover or what?...

 

"that's the reason why i didn't tell you,,, because i also don't know what am i in their life....so i thought of making things right first before telling you that i am your brother...

 

"mwo? V gasp...

 

“chanyeol knew about you,,I never told him that I am searching for you, but he spied on me and he knew that I was looking for you, he secretly hired a private agent to find you and he did. He didn’t told me, instead, he sent me a fake result of the investigation telling that you are already dead…he doesn’t like the fact that I found you and he forbid me to see you.. I owe him, I have debt to pay…and so I need to obey him, when I knew what he did, I was alarmed, thinking that it would be a problem between the three of us. Baekhyun continued…

 

“do you think that’s a problem? If you just told me earlier then I could ask my parents to help you if you were just worrying about your debt to him…

 

“no V…I don’t want to bother you, I don’t want to make you worry that’s why I kept it,,I plan to tell you this but I need more time.. I planned it already..and I plan to tell you as soon as I will able to live separately and leave chanyeol…you don’t know him, he’ll do everything so I can’t leave him.. lately he's acting like a possessive one, and he was changed since he knew about you..

 

“If you consider me as your brother, you should trust me,,,but you didn’t care!…maybe you don’t really want me in your life, you abandoned me before and you can abandon me again!…I hate you! you always throw me away!…I don’t have my memory in the past, I don’t even know the image of our parents, all I know is you, your name and my name but you just left me, alone!..and now you're telling me that you can't leave because your damn boyfriend is too possessive...

 

“I didn’t throw you!, I care V, I care, because I am your brother!…do you know how long did I waited for this? Ever since I left you, I didn’t had a better sleep at night because I’m thinking about you, whenever I close my eyes, I dream of you crying out loud, calling my name and begging me to stay with you….I regret it V,,regret that I left you but I have no choice…

 

"i can't believe this!,,i don't believe you anymore!!!!just stay with your possessive boyfriend and just throw me away!!! tae screamed...

 

The car filled with shout, screams and yell, confrontations and regressions. V cried like a small kid. Baekhyun was feeling guilty for leaving his brother. He was trying to explain and explain but he’s not the type of person who could give a better explanation to anyone. An argument about why the older kept the truth was led to a confrontation on what happen way back before.

 

"V,, please understand me,,,i really have no choice...baek cried trying to make his brother understand what he was saying but V seems can't understand everything.

 

“no choice? You think that I will be a bother to you that’s why you chose to leave me there..if you regret it then you should have return and get me but I waited everyday outside and you didn’t came…the choice is in you,,there is no such thing as NO CHOICE because it is a decision to make whether to do it or not...

 

“V..we were young,,if I didn’t leave you, we will die,,,I lived in the streets, working at young age just to have my meal, just to survive…I worked hard to save some money, but it wasn’t enough, I worked part time jobs, throwing garbages, cleaning the bathrooms, until one of the club I had worked told me to stay there with them, cleaning the place before and after working hours.. I saved some money and I decided to go to school, I supported myself by working at night and going to school at daytime. Until I graduated and had been a permanent worker in the club and became a performer..and I started to search for you again when I had enough income but i didn't found you,,all tose things i did because i am eager to find you, because i want to live with you…

 

V felt astounded while listening to his brother’s hardships in life. He can’t believe and imagine what kind of life he had at their young age. He had complete meals everyday but seems his brother just had one. His heart skipped a beat and felt like he was torturing his brother now jut to satisfy himself with the explanations.

 

"yes, maybe it's my choice, i'm sorry, all i have in mind that time is how i can support you, how can i give you a complete meal, how can i give you the life that we used to have...

 

"but i don't want anything that time, i'm too young and all i want is you,,, i never lose my hope that one day you will come and take me with you..V sniffed and wipe of his tears...

 

"i go there at least three times a week, but one day, suddenly, i didn't saw you, but still hoping to see you until i didn't able to come because i had to work multiple jobs, i became busy fulfilling my jobs and school, but i swear you never left my mind..i promised myself that one day i can take you from there..

 

"but i was adopted after one year, and i don't know where they were taking me..

It became calm aside from the sniffs and sobs that both of them are making. Baekhyun blew air from his mouth, taehyung heaved a shaky sighs.

 

“a friend of mine had a debt to a loan shark and he signed a note that I will be the one paying them. He disappeared and they haunt me but I escaped most of the time, if not, they keep on torturing me, until chanyeol came with his friends and he paid them without asking me.. So I assume, he was my savior. He offered me a job to pay him the sum of money and I accepted it…until I didn’t know that we already started to have a relationship. He sent me oversea to study for free.. And I came back after few years and he gave me the position I have in the school. He gave me everything, money, car, any material things…and now he doesn’t want to let me go..he threatened me to hurt you if I leave him…

 

“then leave him,,,you can throw all those things, your position,,I will tell my parents to help you…it doesn’t matter if he hurt me,,I don‘t care anymore if he hurt me, it doesn’t matter as long as I have you…!,

 

“don’t waste your life because of me, though it’s just a word to threatened me, still I’m afraid that he could hurt you…do you know how happy I am when I knew you were my brother? Happy that I can die already because at last I met you again, that I can talk to you again…do you know how I long for the time that finally I can live with you? To the point that I don’t want the school to reach the end because at least at school I can watch you, I can talk to you….

 

“leave him, i said i don't care if he could hurt me, let's start again hyung,,,

 

“I can’t..baekhyun almost whispered and lowered his head..

 

“why? If you’re worried about me…then…

 

“I need more time to do that…now that you know..please don’t stay away from me,,,I know I was wrong for keeping it to you, but believe me,,I just wanted you to be safe first, I want to make sure that he won‘t hurt you…now that chanyeol knew already, there is no way for me to hide it..

 

“is that all you can say now after telling me how hard your life is? Do you think I can sleep knowing that you are not happy with your life? You have just tell me that I heard a wrong words, that I misinterpret your conversation to him… do you want me to feel sorry that you are now with your situation because you are trying to protect me?..I can protect myself now…

 

“V please,,somehow, i am asking myself why i am enduring all the pains he gave me but for now just understand my situation...

 

"how can i understand your situation after you told me what kind of relationship you have with him...

 

"just forgive me..can you forgive me? Can you give me another chance? baek asked trying to stop the issues and conversations...

 

“but hyung…

 

“V, just stay beside me I will be fine,,,everything will be fine…I’m planning to talk to chanyeol, I’m sure he will understand me soon,,, we just need to talk…but I cant do it right now..he’s having a problem with ren and I don’t want to give him another weight…

 

“and now you’re trying to tell me that you are worrying about him? Tell me, do you love him?..and that’s one of the reason why you can’t leave him???

 

“he may hurt me, I may not know if he cares for me, but before I leave him, I want to know about those matter…he’s not that bad i know and i want to confirm…

 

“hyung…really,,,I really can’t understand you,,you told me that you didn’t had a perfect life, a happy life because of him, and you want to save me because he might harm me and now you’re telling me that he’s not bad? Hyung you’re insane…

 

“please give me another chance…maybe i'm insane,,owh i am insane, but...

 

“hyung~ you’re asking me to just let you have the nightmare you have…you have to choo~~~~

 

“don’t make me choose V…please don’t….baekhyun cut the younger…

 

“tsskkk... so,,you’re feelings for him is the real reason why you kept this to me….you are afraid to choose between me and him,,,you kept it from me so that there would be no reason for you to choose, at least you can stay with him while I don’t know anything…its so clear, you chose him over me. You chose to live with him and not to me…

 

“that’s not true…baekhyun uttered in a very low pitch,,,,

 

“that’s the only reason I can see right now…it’s not that he can hurt me, it’s because you are afraid to leave him and hurt him..he can threaten you of course because you owe him a lot, everything you have is because of him, that’s why you are scared to betray him, leave him and you are scared to choose me over him because you could give him pain and you will also feel hurt by leaving him…tell me if im wrong,,tell me if im assuming..V said, tears still falling,,he sighed..he doesn’t know how far this talk could go..trying to analyze his brother’s real reason why he didn’t told him the truth…

 

“taehyung,,,I just don’t want you to know how miserable my life is…I don’t have the face to show you if you will know the truth behind..I don’t want to be a burden to you, I just don’t know how to tell you how pitiable I maybe in front of you..

 

“you thought all of that? Who am I?,,,you said I’m your brother, and I want to know everything I missed about your life while we are not together,…V raise a bit of his tone again...

 

“when I knew how perfect your life is, how beautiful your life is, and how you have a happy family, a caring boyfriend, friends to smile with, I told myself that before I tell you the truth, I want to create my own life away from the life I was, I need to be perfect for you, i want to show that i am happy too with him…

 

“I don’t need a perfect brother if behind that perfections are nightmares that I don‘t know, I want you to be you, the real you, no secrets, no hidden mystery about your life because I want to know more about you even if it’s the worst life you had…

Silence followed and both of them just sit and stare in front of them.

 

“why did we end up like this? My dream was broken, I was expecting a happy moment when we meet, I was expecting a good timing or us to reunite again, but what is this, I end up confronting you, you end up explaining to me to the worst, now I know, the cries of a young Taehyung in my dreams are not the tears I shed when you left me, those tears are the ones im crying today.. The day I waited for a long time…taehyung stated..

 

“we can start again,,,forget everything,,I’m willing to start again, it’s not too late right? Just give me another chance…baekhyun cup his brother’s face and plead…

 

“then confirm your feelings first, settle your feelings first,,,before you decide,,I will try to understand you for now,,I will try to convince myself that it’s really for me.. That you are doing this just for my own sake.. Taehyung said…

 

“I will,,I will,,I will talk to him and persuade him to accept you…thank you…baekhyun smiled,,his thin lips are still shaking…

 

“now can I go? V then asked…

 

“can’t you stay for a while?,,,if not, ill take you home…baekhyun requested and start his engine again…

 

V was silent, having a glimpse to his brother all the way. He felt pity on him of course but he’s not showing it to him because his brother doesn’t like it. Despite everything about the confrontation, still he can’t ignore the fact that this man beside him is still his brother, he felt a little disappointment since the perfect reunion he had prepared for a long time turned out to be the opposite but still feel glad that the person he treated as his real brother, and the person he wished to be his real brother turned out to be the real one. Happy yet upset because everything is still complicated.

 

“we’re here..baekhyun talked..V snapped out and exited the car..

 

Baekhyun gets out of the car and run to his brother. Embracing him tightly. “I’ll pick you tomorrow morning, he said kissing him on the forehead. He left and drove home, it was already 9 in the evening when he reach home. Hesitated to come in since chanyeol had more than 10 miscalls in his phone and two messages asking where he is, he could imagine that the man waiting for him at home is already burning in anger. He knows, chanyeol is impatient.

 

“where did you go? Chanyeol approach as soon as baek had stepped in..

 

“I talked to my brother…baekhyun admitted without thinking twice..

 

“you did? I thought we had an agreement already regarding your brother…..chanyeol reminded him…

 

“I know,,…

“then?

 

“you saw it,,he heard us…don’t you think that I need to give him an explanation?..he deserves an explanation…

 

“and you are ignoring me now because of him?,, chanyeol was angry..

 

“he’s my brother chanyeol,, don’t give me another reason to leave you…

 

*slap*

 

Baekhyun let out a heavy sigh when chanyeol’s palm reach his cheek again. He’s expecting it, he bit his shaky lips. He’s not hurting because of their argument, he was hurting much because chanyeol continue to give him pain and heartaches. He recalled the words came from his brother a while ago, it kept drumming in his memory, it kept echoing in his thought, tears fallen though he’s controlling it…

 

“hyung…really,,,I really can’t understand you,,you told me that you didn’t had a perfect life, a happy life because of him, and you want to save me because he might harm me and now you’re telling me that he’s not bad? Hyung you’re insane…

 

“…you’re feelings for him is the real reason why you kept this to me….you are afraid to choose between me and him,,,you kept it from me so that there would be no reason for you to choose, at least you can stay with him while I don’t know anything…its so clear, you chose him over me. You chose to live with him and not to me…

 

“I don’t need a perfect brother if behind that perfections are nightmares that I don‘t know, I want you to be you, the real you, no secrets, no hidden mystery about your life because I want to know more about you even if it’s the worst life you had…

 

“now I understand everything, maybe taehyung is right, I’m insane because I chose to stay with you rather than telling him everything, maybe it’s true that I’m just afraid to leave you because I might hurt you, I keep telling myself that you are good to me, that you treat me well, that I have a perfect life, but it’s not.. Living with you is the worst thing I had in my life.. Staying with you and loving you is the most regretful thing I will do. You know that I love you but you keep slapping it to my face that I am just someone who you can tell everything you wish in life even if it will be the worst for my life, you never asked my opinion if I want to do all those things, and I regret that I didn‘t refuse, everything you want chanyeol, I did them without complaining,,,I did everything because I love you, maybe I‘m wrong, you are a pitiful stupid man I‘ve ever lived with…

Chanyeol gestured a fist and about to hit the short guy but he was stopped halfway when he saw the eyes and baekhyun didn‘t move to defend himself. Tears flowing from the man in front of him, while his face that full of anger suddenly soften.

 

“tsshhhh you can’t do it? Why don’t you hit me, slap me as long as you want, as long as you want…baekhyun said and chuckled, but deep inside, he’s too afraid..

 

“go to your room,,right now,,,chanyeol said and flopped down to the sofa…

 

Baekhyun closed his eyes and felt like falling, he thought that he will really get a fist from chanyeol. Even his man always throw a temper, he never hit him with bald fist, it was just lately that he get a slap and he was alarmed by that, chanyeol becomes too possessive and always loose his temper. He walked weakly and headed to his room. He fell down to his bed and curled himself, feeling sick to what happen. Today is the most hated day he ever had. He needed to tell the truth to his brother, as well as he needed to face his man bravely. He never felt scared in front of chanyeol but today was different, chanyeol’s eyes was burning in anger that makes him feel so like in danger.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

At the same time, after baekhyun left, taehyung came in, his parents waiting for him at the living room.

 

“appa~~~ taehyung hugged his two appa and cried…

 

“what happen?, why are you crying? His saeng appa asked…

 

“baekhyun hyung…he muttered under his sobs…

 

“what happen to him?..hyun appa asked this time..

 

“I heard him and the Chairman of the school,,,they were talking about me,,,baekhyun hyung confirm it to me,,,

 

“confirm what? Saeng appa questioned..

 

“he’s my brother…my real brother,,he knew it when we were in busan, remember that? Taehyung broke the hug and said…

 

The parents look at each other. They actually know, they knew it just a month ago. They investigated too since they doubt about the name baekhyun and his intentions why among all of the students, taehyung is the only student who received a special treatment.

 

*(the moment taehyung mentioned about baekhyun, saeng and hyun talked about his brother. Saeng already thought about taehyung’s brother when the kid told him the name and how good he was to him. He told his husband about this and they decided to have some investigations, since they have some peers and knows a lot of private investigators, it was easy for them to get one but it took a long time to receive the result since they almost go overseas for a year for their projects and contracts.

 

A month ago while they were having a break from work, a friend of them came and gave the final result of the investigations. It turned out that baekhyun who work as the school director and the baekhyun, who is their adopted son’s brother is only one. They planned to tell their son but as they read further about the information, they knew baekhyun’s life, they assume, there’s something that they can’t just reveal, that they don’t have the right to announce because baekhyun’s life seems too complicated.

 

“just let them know on their own…who knows, baekhyun know it already that’s why he’s treating our son special…hyun said..

 

“but taehyung is waiting for his brother…what if baekhyun doesn’t know too…saeng replied..

 

“I have a feeling,,baekhyun knows it…or maybe he felt something to taehyung and assume that he is his younger brother, and goes the same to V right?… so promise me you won’t tell V about what we discovered…hyun said..

 

“you know it’s hard for me to hide something from V…saeng rebutted

 

“our son will sure be surprised about this..he waited for this..he often tells me that why the director is not his real brother.. But we don’t have a choice, we cant interrupt between them..time will tell and they will both know…they will discover it by themselves,,let’s just wait okay? Hyun said..

 

Saeng sighed and just nodded, agreeing on what his husband wanted him to do. )*

Now the time has come and now their son is crying and telling what he discovered. The couple sighed

 

“aren’t you happy about that? That your baekhyun hyung is your real brother?? Saeng appa talked…

 

“I am,,but he already know it long time ago and he didn’t told me,,I was like stupid wishing that he could be my real brother….V cried…

 

“aigoo,,I’m sure he has the reason why he did that? Why don’t you give some time so he can explain it to you. Time will never be late as long as there are chances…both of you can start over and over again…hyun appa advised..

 

“but he betrayed me,,he did right? we promised to tell everything about us,,but he didn’t…

 

“no he didn’t,,I’m sure he did not betray you….everything has a reason why things is happening against what you expect for…so instead of sulking and thinking about betrayal, why don’t you give some opportunity for him to do whatever he didn’t able to do for you in the past while you were both apart? You won’t lose anything if you give another chance especially if you were sure that you will be happy with him…saeng added..

 

“is that so? But he refuse my offer to help him…

 

“because he doesn’t want to bother you maybe,,learn about pride son, he is the older and do you think he won’t feel ashamed if the younger one is the one helping out…you will step his pride if you do..it’s not wrong to have it especially when you want to prove something..maybe he wants to prove that he lived well too that he can take care of himself, that he can survive without giving some weights to others..just try to understand him, that would be the best help for him..comfort him instead of confronting him…hyun uttered..

 

“eotteokke,,I even shouted at him, yell and screamed, confronting him until our conversation ends…

 

“sorry is not a hard word to dig out from your tongue….saeng smiled at him and ruffled the hair..

 

“I will,,I will apologize tomorrow…he will pick me here and we will go to school together…V finally smiled…

 

“that’s god then..saeng appa hug him while hyun appa smiled at his husband and hug them both, kissing his partner on the lips and kissing his son on the back of the head..

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The next morning, baekhyun moved faster since he didn’t able to wake up early. Taking shower and quickly wear his suit. He grab his car key on his side table and run down to the garage. But he was stopped when the gate didn’t open. A guard came to him.

 

“sorry sir, Mr Park strictly told us that you are not allowed to go out…the guard said…

 

“what? but I’m going to work? Baekhyun remind the guard…

 

“but sir.. He strictly told us to tighten the security and forbid you to go out even if it’s about work… the guard replied again..

 

He skipped a beat when his brother pass by his thought. Does chanyeol is planning something? The first thought he had in mind.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------