Chapter 25: Love is...
Can you love me?(A/N: Some parts may not be true, so bear with it okay?)
Jungkook’s POV:
“DOCTOR HOW IS HE?!” I rushed to the doctor the moment he opened the doors.
The doctor took out his mask and bloody gloves. Nervousness overcame me as I waited for the answer.
“Is he okay?” The hyungs walked over. The doctor sighed.
“Jimin-shi is fine.” The hyungs breathe a sigh of relief.
“But?” I asked, my eyes trailing on the floor. There was something else. If not…
“We need to monitor him as he is in critical condition.”
“I-is he going to be alive?”
“He is breathing, however in a coma. However he might not wake up for a couple of days or even weeks.”
“Can we visit him?”
“Sure, but as I said he’s still-“
“Thank you doctor.” I cut him off and rushed back to Jiminie’s ward, hyungs trailing behind.
There he was, lying on the bed with tubes all over him and him wearing the oxygen mask. (A/N: is that what you call it?). The nurses set him comfortably on the bed and bowed at us and left.
My heart broke at that sight. I don’t know in good way or bad way. The good thing was that he was still alive. But…
“Jungkook-ah, don’t cry…” Jin-hyung stood beside me. I touched my face and realised that I was…crying. Jin-hyung’s cheeks were sparkling with dried tears from before.
“H-hyung, what if he doesn’t wake up?” I sniffled. He pulled me close to him and I rested my head on his shoulder. Soon, I felt the hyungs come closer as we looked at Jiminie’s peaceful face.
“Jungkook, do you need some alone times?” I nodded. The hyungs left the room.
I walked forward and kneeled beside Jiminie’s bed. Trembling, my hands caressed his face so gently like a feather.
His orange hair, so soft against the pillow, his face looks like there’s nothing bothering him at all. His skin, so smooth and light in the room.
“You look like an angel…Jimin-ah…” I smiled and pushed his bangs to the side of his face. I sniffled twice. I took in a deep breath, then broke into a crying mess.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…it’s all my fault I…” I held his other hand without the needle poked through his precious skin.
“Please forgive me.” I sighed and rested my head on the bed, closing my eyes.
In dramas I watched, when the main character was crying over his lover in the hospital when suddenly the lover wakes up. I looked up with a bit of excitement to see Jiminie’s still-peaceful face, asleep. I sighed once again.
“Hyung…I love you.” I planted a kiss on the back of his hand, my lips lingering there for awhile, and I rested my tear-filled face on his hand, feeling the warmth.
It went on and on like this for days.
(A/N: If you read from now on, just a reminder, Jimin isn’t dead. Yay? :D)
Jimin’s POV:
I woke up with blinding light shining into my eyes. I sat up, looking around at the four walls. Then I noticed someone sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. It was a man in white…robes? And he has a long white beard with greyish-whitish curly hair hanging just above his waist. He looked up and smiled before walking to me. I shuffled back a bit and he chuckled.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Jimin.”
“How do you know my name?”
“I just do.” He chuckled once again.
“Where…am I?” I looked around. It was white everywhere, nothing else other than the bed I am on and the chair he was sitting on earlier on. There were no doors or windows...
“You? You’re in your mind, Jimin.”
“Are you real?”
“Well, it depends on how you think of the situation. I can be real or fake, and both yet at the same time.” I’m confused, so I cocked my head to one side while looking at him.
“Come on, we don’t have all the time in the world. Well we both have, but not others around you.” Did he meant physically? Because I don’t see anyone else around me. Unless they are invisible.
I looked at him waiting for me at an open door. Since when was the door there?!
I stood up and walked after him through the door. A bright light emitted from the end and soon after awhile of walking him and the surroundings disappeared.
The light then disappeared and I’m in a very familiar room.
The same man was there beside me this time, and we were looking at two figures inside the room. One was lying on the bed with tubes and oxygen mask all over his face. The orange mop of hair on the pillow, body tucked neatly under the blanket.
“I-is that me?”
“Yes it’s you, in the real world.” And then it hit me that I was in my mind, like what the man said.
“Then that’s…” My eyes turned to the raven haired boy who was caressing my hair with those loving eyes. Those eyes.
“That’s Jungkook, your lover.” The guy replied for me. Then Jungkook shuffled in his spot, and held my hand, and started singing a song.
"I am tired of this place, I hope people change
I need time to replace what I gave away
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all
I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes
I see a little house on the hill and children's names
I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray
But everything is shattering and it's my mistake
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Oh, our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this
The differences and impulses and your obsession with
The little things, you like stick, and I like aerosol
I don't give a , I'm not giving up, I still want it all
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall”
I need time to replace what I gave away
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all
I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes
I see a little house on the hill and children's names
I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray
But everything is shattering and it's my mistake
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Oh, our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this
The differences and impulses and your obsession with
The little things, you like stick, and I like aerosol
I don't give a , I'm not giving up, I still want it all
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall”
Then after he stopped singing he started crying.
“I guess I’m a fool for you, Jiminie…please wake up.” I found my heart breaking at that sight.
I turned to the guy.
“How can I go back?”
“It’s up to you really. You can stay as long as you like, but you could also choose to come back to reality.”
“I…” Honestly I didn’t know what to choose. I was dying after all. Waking up and seeing Jungkook and afterwards dying again would hurt him more. But…
“If you stay here, it’s going to hurt him the most. Knowing that he didn’t reconcile with you.” The man’s voice replied. I turned around to see that he disappeared.
“Where are you? And how did you kn-“
“I know everything.”He smiled.
“If you k-know everything…” I trailed off.
“A-are you god?” He chuckled
“You could say so.” I nodded, looking back at the two figures.
“Jiminie, let me put this on for you…” Jungkook croaked, putting the bracelet on for me.
“And I have mine here…there…I love you Jiminie.” He whispered the last four words against my hand.
“Are you sure you want to go back?” God asked.
Do I want to go back? I don’t know. Will Jungkook hate me again? What if he is lying and try to hurt me more? I don’t know…I don’t know…I’m confused right now…but I could try right?
“H-how long will I live?” I asked timidly.
“That, I can’t tell you. Even if I did, you wouldn’t be able to change fate.”
“Fate? Is that how everything goes?” My voice raised up a bit.
“Yes.”
“Then meeting Jungkook, breaking up with him, all of this…is just fate?”
“There’s still more in the future for you, Jimin. Do you want to go back?” I nodded.
Then I felt myself falling down. Kept falling, surroundings disappearing and I tried to grab onto Kookie and I, but they disappeared just as I tried to grab them. I kept falling, but it wasn’t scary kind of falling, it felt like gracefully floating through the air. Then from white, turned to dark.
My eyes cracked open a bit, tired from everything. It felt like I ran my whole life, and it’s the first time I could get some rest. However, not panting or sweating. It felt like…I’ve been alive once again. What a weird feeling.
My eyes opened wider, absorbing in the surroundings. I heard whimpers and turned to see a figure in front of me. My vision became more focused and I saw a Raven haired boy, so innocent, with eyes closed and mouth opened slightly, you could see cute bunny teeth inside, so beautiful that it made angels weep and cry. It made my heart hurt more if it could, to see his face full of tear streaks.
I felt like my whole body was numb, like it hadn’t move in ages. I wiggled my fingers, and the figure shuffled.
Jungkook’s POV:
Jiminie, it’s been 12 days since the surgery, please wake up…
I felt something move in my hand. I scanned over it to see Jiminie’s fingers moving slightly. Oh I thought it was something else…
Wait. Jiminie’s fingers are moving. Jiminie’s fingers are-
“Jiminie!” I pounced onto the thing I wanted the most. He looked at me with tired eyes.
“O-oh wait! I need to get the doctor!” I ran with all my might to alert the hyungs, Jiminie’s parents and the doctor.
I felt like a new surge of energy flow through me once again. I felt like I am truly alive. Not surviving, but ALIVE. I could barely hold in the excitement and nearly screamed at anyone I saw. Of course I didn’t though.
Jiminie’s alive
Jiminie’s alive
I can start again!
God thank you so much!
Oh my god, oh my god!
I can hardly breathe right now!
“H-hyungs!” I stopped at the cafe, right in front of them and Jiminie’s parents.
“Jungkook?”
“J-jiminie…Jiminie i-is-“ I had to stop many times to catch my breath. It felt like cloud nine, and my heart accelerated so fast it could jump out of my heart.
“Is Jimin awake?!” I nodded profusely. The next few seconds involved shuffling and screeching of chairs, clattering of dishes, and bumping and complaints about someone being to slow.
We walk-ran to Jiminie’s ward while Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung called the doctor. We reached Jiminie’s ward and Jiminie’s parents hugged him, and he hugged them back.
“Jimin! Thank god! We miss you!”
“Eomma, Appa…” He voice so raspy under the oxygen mask.
“Is Jimin-shi awake?” The doctor strolled in, Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung tailing behind. We gave way to the doctor and he went to Jiminie.
“Do you mind to stay outside for a moment please? I need to examine Jimin.” We nodded and moved out.
No one’s POV:
“Jimin-shi. Goodafternoon, I am your doctor. Do you know where you are?”
“Hospital…” Jimin’s eyes looked around the room, before looking back at the doctor.
“Good. What year is it?”
“2016…” The doctor nodded and wrote down in the clipboard he is holding.
“Are you feeling uncomfortable or anything? Pain in the chest, difficulty in breathing.” Jimin shook his head. The doctor once again nodded and took down notes.
“You’re progressing well, Jimin-shi."
“What surgery? And will I get my memory back?”
“Thank you doctor.” Jimin was at first shock that he got such a disease, however hearing that he was healthy and fine, he didn’t feel scared or anything.
“And doctor…"
Jungkook’s POV:
“Jiminie has memory loss?!” Tae asked. The doctor nodded his head.
“However it is temporary. He needs his family and friends to stay by his side as it may be tough for him.”
“Can we visit him?”
“Yes.”
We scrambled in and crowded around Jiminie. Jiminie had his oxygen mask off now, and was looking at all of us with a slight smile on.
“Jimin, do you remember us?” Jin-hyung asked. Jiminie nodded and named us one by one.
“Jin-hyung, Namjoon-hyung, Eomma, Appa, Yoongi-hyung, Hopie-hyung, Tae Tae and…” He didn’t recognise me. H-he didn’t recognise me. He…
“Jungkook. He’s Jungkook, you don’t remember?” Jiminie shook his head.
“Were we close?” I nodded, struggling to keep my tears in.
He forgot me. That means he forgot us. How we met, how we dated, how we…
“I’m sorry Jungkook. I really don’t remember you. But we must be close friends then!” He smiled. The whole room was silent, everyone looked at one another awkwardly, before settling their eyes on me, and I didn’t look at any of them.
“Jimin, you really don’t remember Jungkook?” Jiminie furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.
“Leave us alone, I’ll explain to him.” I mumbled, loud enough for everyone to hear. They nodded and shuffled outside of the room, me gaining occasional pats on the shoulder as they passed.
“Hey.”
“Hello Jungkook.” He smiled. I missed that eyes-smile…so much.
“You used to call me Kookie, and I’d call you Jiminie or Jimin-hyung.” I started. He nodded.
“We met this year, 2016. I am a freshman and you were older by a year. However we shared a few classes with one another. We became friends on the first day of school, in the cabin which we shared. Then after awhile, we confessed and started dating. Last month was our…six-month anniversary. However, my hyung interfered and I misunderstood you and had another boyfriend on impulse, and I…I-I hurt you more. You hid about your disease from me and I only knew about it right before your surgery.”
“I…” He said.
“I know it won’t be easy to forgive me and love me again. But I’m sorry Jiminie. I really love you.”
“Maybe we can start over again?” Start over. Did he just say that?!
“R-really?”
“But you’ll have to prove it then.” He smiled and ruffled my hair. I nodded many times.
“I will! Thank you Jiminie!” I hugged him, and he patted my head in response.
~Time skip a few hours later~
After a bouquet of flowers later, I arranged Jiminie to meet me at the traffic light near the hospital. I stood on the other end of the road, watching from afar as the cute figure with pink flowers waited patiently at his spot.
This is it.
I took in a deep breath and walked to the spot right opposite him. He looked up and saw me before smiling and going to cross the road.
Jimin’s POV:
I took one step while looking and Kookie before he took up some A3 sized papers.
Stop where you are.
Okay…I stopped. He took the next paper.
Jiminie, I know this is hard for you.
To start over with me without a single clue to who I was in your life.
But…
I love you so much.
You’re my everything.
And I hope to be yours too.
I hurt you in the past.
I know you’re scared.
I am too…
…scared of hurting you.
But…
I’m willing to sacrifice everything for you.
But I need to ask something very important.
Even before we start dating.
I took in a deep breath. My heart is already touched.
Can you love me?
Because I’m falling for you deeper by the second.
And my heart will shatter without you.
So give me a chance?
He smiled, before crossing the road. How weird it is, in the bustling crowded road, there he was, shining so brightly. I felt tears threatening to fall out, so I let them. And there he stood, right in front of me.
“Jiminie-“ I hugged him tightly. I loved his warmth, and how he’s taller than me, so I could bury my face in the crook of his neck, getting surrounded by his warmth.
“Pabo, I didn’t have memory loss. I love you too!” I cried, leaning on Jungkook completely.
“W-what? Why did you lie to me~” He whined, but chuckled and hugged me back.
“i wanted to see how much you loved me. I guess I know already.” I laughed.
"So is it a yes?" I nodded profusely, unable to hold back my smiles.
"WOOHOO!" He cheered and picked me up and swirled us around a few times, only stopping when I slapped his back for him to stop or else people will start complaining.
“I love you Jiminie.”
“I love you too Kookie.”
—
No one’s POV:
What is love?
Knowing that the person whom you care about so much, looks at you the same way you do and feels the same way about you?
“Jiminie the food!” Jimin was too busy showering Jungkook with butterfly kisses that he forgot about the food he was cooking.
“Whoops.” He gave Jungkook one last kiss before dashing back to the food, Jungkook chuckling and shaking his head.
Or going back home to see the person you care about the most waiting for you?
“Jiminie?” Jungkook whispered, lightly shaking Jimin, who fell asleep while waiting for Jungkook to come back home. Jungkook was preparing for his exams and stayed up late in the library. It was 11pm, and Jungkook saw how Jimin still has his phone in his hand, and there was a bowl of seaweed soup on the table waiting for Jungkook to devour.
“Mmm…” Jimin still doesn’t wake up. Jungkook smiles to himself as he carries Jimin bridal style to his room. Jungkook tucks Jimin nicely under the covers and pushes his orange bangs away from his face. And lastly, he sits on the bed, bends down to kiss Jimin’s forehead.
“Goodnight Jiminie.” He whispers. Jimin whines and hugs Jungkook’s waist in his sleep.
Maybe love is just a test, god knows why or how. But it brings people closer to one another, a step at a time.
“Kookie~~~” Jimin mumbled while rubbing his eyes. He had just woken up, and he realised Jungkook wasn’t by his side, and the bed was cold. Where could his Kookie went?
“Kookie-ya~~~” No reply. With half-opened eyes, Jimin descended the staircase. But suddenly he lost his balance and stumbled down the stairs.
Jungkook woke up from a loud thud across the room. It was the final exams the next day, the last day of exams, so Jungkook studied the whole night, but fell asleep on his textbooks and notes. He yawned and crawled on all fours to the sound, to see Jimin grabbing his on ankle, wincing in pain.
“Jiminie?!” He rushed to Jimin to check his leg. By now, Jimin’s right ankle swelled red, and any pressure applied on it create tremendous pain that shoots up Jimin’s body.
“Ah it hurts…”
“Can you walk?” Jimin shakes his head. Jungkook stands up, bends down and picks Jimin up bridal style and sits him on the couch. Afterwards, squatting down in front of Jimin, back facing him.
“Kookie?”
“Get on.”
“But I-“
“Come on Jiminie.” Jimin sighs and gets onto Jungkook’s back. Then Jungkook carries him all the way to the hospital to get it checked on. The whole way, Jimin carries a bright smile and helps Jungkook wipe his sweat, while Jungkook tries his very best to prevent Jimin from having a bumpy journey on his back.
To Jimin, love is when Jungkook smiles back at him no matter what good or bad thing Jimin has done. When Jungkook puts in his best efforts for every single little thing he does for Jimin, how his eyebrows will furrow in a cute way, and how Jungkook will be extremely shy when asking Jimin for a favour.
“Kookie?” Jimin knocked on the door. Even though the door was open, Jimin knocked on it as usual but got no reply. He peeked inside and saw Jungkook concentrated on drawing something on a piece of paper. Giggling, Jimin carried the bowl of soup into the room and sat beside Jungkook. However, the latter still did not notice him.
Jimin looked over Jungkook’s shoulder to see an almost finished sketch of Jimin on a field. Jimin was playing with bubbles as his face lit up in excitement. Jimin then looked over at Jungkook’s concentrated face, so focused on completing the perfect drawing.
Touched, Jimin pecks Jungkook’s cheek. Snapped out of his thoughts, Jungkook flinched and faced a smiling Jimin, which made a smile creep up on Jungkook’s face too. Jungkook’s face turned from surprise to bunny-smile fetus which then Jimin pinched his cheeks lightly.
“It’s beautiful.” Jimin commented, massaging Jungkook’s shoulders. Jungkook groaned and stretched as he had been in this position for hours.
“Not as beautiful as the real Jimin.” Jungkook smiled and kisses Jimin on the lips. It was addicting to the both of them, that sometimes out of random they would start eating each other’s face.
“Thank you Kookie~~~” Jimin blushed when he heard Jungkook’s compliment but it lit a fire in his soul.
However, to Jungkook, love is everything about Jimin, and how Jimin loves Jungkook. It’s that simple, yet a lot of meaning.
“Kookie-ah~” Jungkook hummed in response.
“Can we get a pet please?” It was the end of year holidays, and as usual, Jimin and Jungkook will live together, either in Jimin’s house, or either of their dorms.
“But who’s going to take care of it in school?”
“We can always take care of it after lessons.”
“But-“
“Pwease~~~” Jimin did aegyo as much as he could and whined. That did the trick. Jungkook sighed and put his hands up in defeat.
“Yay! I love you Kookie~~~” Jimin jumps in excitement and starts flooding Jungkook with kisses.
“How about you say that after we get our pet?” Jungkook teases, earning a slap on the shoulder from Jimin.
“Yah what do you mean?”
“You’re going to pay more attention to the pet…”
“Aww is Kookie jealous?”
“Jealous? To a pet? N-no, why would I be?” Jimin chuckled as Jungkook’s face turned red.
Maybe after all, it was worth it. To start all over again.
Because love, is uncontrollable.
It makes us weak, yet makes us stronger.
No one can live without love.
Because without love, what’s the meaning of life?
Love doesn’t mean in those kind of relationship, it can be friends or family.
No matter what, one will always be loved.
Same goes for Jimin and Jungkook.
Be it when your friend teases you about your crush,
Or when you has a quarrel with your sibling,
In the end,
They still get back together.
Because love is stronger to not be able to break after a quarrel or fight.
Because love keeps us going.
Without love, we lose the will to fight.
Without the will to fight, we lose ourselves.
That’s why in love, you find yourself in the other.
And you strengthen it.
Because without love, you feel lost.
Without love, you feel alone.
Without love, you feel rejected.
And that’s when someone comes in and showers you with love.
Show you that you are important.
Because love guides you.
And love teaches you.
Every good or bad experience,
Makes us stronger.
With love, we feel alive.
OH MY GOD!!! IT'S THE ENDING T.T HOW WAS IT?! I want to thank you guys for reading this story and sticking with me all the way, commenting, upvoting, subscribing...god it makes me SOOO happy. But of course every story has an end, sadly this one does. But every end has a new beginning, so how about a sequel? The sequel will be a new fanfic, but yeah it's a sequel so obviously it's gonna involve this story... :D
I was sooo sad I had to end the story, but I hope you guys liked it! And yes Jimin didn't die (HOORAY!!)
Annyeong for now, LUB YOU ALL <333
Oh yeah if you guys have any time or so, just comment about what you think love is? Because I legit had no idea what to put and I just wanted to hear your thoughts. Please~~~ *does aegyo but fails* But don't put 'Love is 4 walls' HAHAHA
ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS. IT'S THE END OF THE JIKOOK FANFIC "Can You Love Me?" FEATURING VERY LITTLE OF NAMJIN AND YOONSEOK I'M SO SORRY GUYS I'LL DO MY BEST IN THE FUTURE FANFICS. Hey I was actually pretty glad and happy as this was the first fanfiction I wrote ^^
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