Chapter 22: The heart that always beats for you
Can you love me?Hello, fellow readers. Prepare to die and hate me because of this chapter. I'm held 100% responsible and I killed myself a million times while writing this. Enjoy.
Jimin’s POV:
I woke up with a throbbing pain in my head. With eyes barely kept open, I looked around to see myself tucked nicely in my bed, and a figure slumped on the small couch in my bedroom.
“J-Jungkook…” I whispered. The figure stirred slightly.
“Jiminie, you’re awake~~~” Taehyung mumbled. So it wasn’t Jungkook, what was I thinking about?
“What happened..?”
“You were crying in the rain and you passed out so I had to carry you home all by myself! That stupid Jungkook son of a bit-“
“That’s enough Tae. Can you give me some water please…” My throat felt uncomfortably dry and rough. Tae nodded and arrived with water a few moments later.
I reached out for it but before I could grasp it, he took it back.
“Tae?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I…” I gulped.
“T-tell you what?”
“Don’t pretend Chim. I saw the letter.”
I sighed and looked out of the window.
Flashback~~~
I woke up with a terrible headache. I clutched my forehead, trying to ease the pain.
Then a sudden wave of dizziness flow through me and I felt like vomiting.
I sat up, and groaned, as the feeling got worse.
“Jiminie…” I heard mumbling and turned around to see Kookie’s arms wrapped around my waist. He was pouting.
“Morning Kookie~~~” I cooed as I ruffled his hair lightly. I barely got his arms off me and I stumbled to the toilet.
Once I closed the door, my legs gave way and I bent over the toilet seat, preparing to vomit. But I didn’t, neither did the feeling subside.
After staying int he dorm toilet for quite long, I stood up and felt a hard pang on my chest area. I crouched over and clenched my fist, punching my chest hardly to stop the pain. It did, thankfully.
It happened for many times, and I decided to consult a doctor.
“Doctor, what happened to me?” I asked, sitting on the chair facing the doctor. The doctor wore white clothes, with a purple tie and a stethoscope around his neck.
“Hmm…what did you feel during these sudden pain?”
“My chest hurts a lot, sometimes I faint, feel like vomiting a lot of times and I get dizzy.” I said, unconsciously rubbing my head.
“Let me do some tests on you, Park Jimin-shi.” I nodded and let the doctor do what he needed to.
-
“W-what?!”
“I’m sorry Park Ji-“
“But I’m healthy! I exercise, eat healthy food…there must be some kind of mistake, please tell me-“
“I’m extremely sorry…but we can do something about it!”
“What?” I cried, some tears slipping off my face.
“You can have a heart transplant…”
“I’ll think about it…”
This was too much. I had…heart disease?! This is impossible…I…I…
“Then come for your appointment three weeks later to consult me again?”
“Doctor…”
“Yes, Jimin-shi?”
“What would happen if I don’t take the surgery?”
“You may die.”
“W-when?”
“Around four months is what I predict, but we’ll never know.”
“Wouldn’t it be really expensive?”
“I”m sure it would be worth it. You have your friends, your loved ones…” My friends and loved ones. What would Kookie do if I don’t survive?
“T-then if I take the surgery, how long can I live?”
"Approximately 85 to 90 percent of heart transplant patients live one year after their surgery, with an annual death rate of approximately 4 percent thereafter. The three-year survival approaches 75 percent.” The doctor recited.
So I do have a chance!
I nodded and left.
End of Flashback~~~
What’s the point now? Saving up money for the surgery, to find out there wasn’t a point of living anymore. Jungkook was with Wonwoo, he hates me…why am I still alive?
“Why am I still alive…” I said.
“Tae…why? Why…” I cried.
Why must I have this disease? What have I done wrong? I didn’t cheat on Jungkook, I didn’t mean to sleep with Jungwoo’s girlfriend…Why just why?
“Jiminie…don’t cry now…everything is going to be okay-“
“HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING TO BE OKAY?! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HEARD THAT LINE AND THINGS NEVER GO WELL. WHY IS IT ME SUFFERING THIS WHY JUST WHY WHAT DID I DO WRONG I-“ I had to stop shouting due to lack of air. I felt very exhausted, and the headache came back, causing me to fall on my knees.
“You’re not going through this all by yourself, Chim. I’ll be here. Hoseok-hyung will be here, Yoongi-hyung too, same goes for Jin-hyung and Namjoon-hyung…”
“Then what about Jungkook? He doesn’t care anymore right?”
“H-He does Jiminie, we’re all here for you…” There was uncertainty in his voice.
“I’m dying Tae. Even if I wanted to survive, I wouldn’t have enough money to go through the surgery. And , only up to 75% people live up to three years after the transplant. And what point is there to waste money to suffer before I die?”
“Jiminie…” He cried too. He walked to me and hugged me tight while I sobbed harder and harder.
“I miss you Tae.”
“Don’t say that…”
“Less than one month before I die…”
“Jimi-“
“Can you do something for me Tae?”
“Anything for you.”
“I-If I *hiccup* ever g-get hospitalised *hiccup*…h-help me *cough* pass this l-letter to J-Jung *hiccup* kook…” I stumbled to my drawer to take out the letter I wrote for Jungkook.
He took it from me and just stared at it.
“P-promise me never t-to read it *hiccup* Tae…”
“I…promise.” He said the last word ever so softly.
“Thanks.” I forced a smile on my face.
“Should I tell the others?”
“But not Jungkook. Please.” He nodded.
What does it feel like to know that you’re dying in anytime soon, and yet you feel already dead?
“T-Tae…”
“Yes Chim?”
“I’m hungry. Can you get me some food?”
“Sure! I’ll buy some and get back quickly.” He stood up and left to the door. Before he left my vision, he stopped and turned back.
“Jiminie?”
“Hmm.”
“I…” He hesitated.
“We’re all here for you.” I smiled again and he left.
My smiled dropped. The throbbing pain in my chest, the nausea I’m feeling never subsided.
I took out my phone and looked at the last message the doctor sent.
[Jimin-shi, it’s not too late to get the surgery…you know… :)]
Three weeks after I knew my disease, I told the doctor I’m working to get the money for surgery, yet the previous visit I told him I gave up.
Flashback~~~
“But Jimin-shi, what made you give up?!”
“I…there isn’t any point doing so.” I didn’t dare look up into the doctor’s eyes.
“B-but…I’ve never met a patient like you who declined a transplant! Jimin-shi…”
“Thank you doctor.” I bowed and made my way out.
End of Flashback~~~
I sniffed. I felt the tears swirling in my eyes again.
“Jungkook-ah…” I sobbed silently. Could he hear how much I needed him right now?
Jungkook’s POV:
My eyes shot open.
I couldn’t sleep at all. I tossed and turned, this weird growing nervousness in me never seemed to stop.
Finally I couldn’t take it.
I took out my phone and types a message to the person I needed to talk to the most.
[Hey.]
I got my reply a few seconds later.
helloooo :)) I’m sorry to everyone…and Jimin for putting such a horrible plot for him. and giving this story a ty plot. Sorry. Bye for now
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