Pat. Pat. huff huff. Pat. Pat. You saw the opening trail. You pushed yourself hard to make the last few strides to the end and collapse to the grass looking up to the clear sky. It was soon covered with Bam’s face as he leaned over you with the biggest smug on his jerk face. 

“Well.. well... well … I guess I need to find another running partner.” 

“Arghhhh…” Your arms weakly waved up because you wanted to smack him or hurt him in some way, but you just looked like a zombie that has fallen and couldn't get up. After he was done making fun of you, he helped you to your feet. 

“I heard Paris has a bunch of great running trails.” You nudged him and wiggled your eyebrows. 

“So does Thailand. I’ve been away from home for too long. It’s time to go back.” Then he put his hands on your shoulders, “It’s your turn to leave the nest my little ahgase!”

You sighed, “I’m scared.” You made an ugly crying face. 

The past months you were able to find a fraction of your smile again and on days that were harder to than others, you faked it enough so that your family didn’t have to worry. Every day you have spent it with someone to fill the void because you needed them to be happy. Each day got better because you had your squad to help you get better and it made you realize how much you had missed being and laughing with them. It also made you realize that towards the end of your relationship with Jinyoung, the mood was always somber and it was you always trying so hard to make him happy, that you had forgotten about what made you happy. But in a few days, you were leaving for Paris to start your job with 0218r. Anxiety was building up as the days leading up to it was getting closer. Moving to Paris meant you were going to actually have to be alone for the first time since Jinyoung, and that frightened you the most. 

“You’ll be fine! Just try your best, and if it gets really tough, just remember that you always have us to return to. But at least give it your all, so you’ll have no regrets.” 

“Awww Bams… listen to yourself, ” You swoop him into a headlock, “ Who are you and what have you done to my shallow friend?!”  

He pushed you off and immediately fixed his hair, “Dude! I have a heart, unlike your broken black one, OK?!” He made a big O with his mouth, “OUCH! Too soon? ....TOO SOON!” and ran away like a roadrunner. You couldn’t run anymore, so you took off your shoe and threw it at him, but completely miss.

---

“Junior, I got something for you!” Chorong rolled over to Jinyoung while he was using his laptop at the dining table with a gift bag on her lap. He lowered his laptop screen, which she didn’t miss, but pushed it out of her mind quickly like always. She handed the bag to him and he pulled a book out. The Spy. 

“Since you liked The Alchemist so much, I bought you Paulo Coelho’s latest book.” 

“Thank you.” He said with a smile that was painful for the both of them. She knew he was trying. He’s been trying his hardest. Because of that, her chest was a mixture of gratitude and guilt. She’s been trying everything she could to make him happy, sincerely happy, but all she got were his empty smiles and a few bland words. 

"Daddy!" Sarang called from upstairs. He placed the book on the table, without a second look at it or her and went to his daughter. 

Chorong couldn’t help but lift his laptop screen up. 

“BE ON THE LOOKOUT: 0218’s Nora, is Saving the Earth One Dress At a Time with 3D Printing” 

There was a chic photo of you in a short black box shift dress, paired with black ankle booties and dark blood lipstick. You had a measuring tape hung around your neck while you were examining a dress that hugged its model. Even in photos, you exuded confidence. She lowered the screen back to its original position and lowered her eyes to her plain cream dress. Her fingers ran through her plain long hair. To Chorong, since the first day you both met, you’ve always had that confident aura about you that she wished she could have an ounce of. It also hadn’t been that long since the breakup, but you were already accomplishing much more than she could ever even imagine doing with her own life. Chorong could never pull off what you were wearing or did what you did. They said envy was when you want something someone else had, and jealousy was the fear of what’s yours being taken away by another. With you, she was constantly filled with both. 

---

Jinyoung found himself walking back to the park. He hadn’t been back since that day. He had been living with this dark smog inside him. Sarang was the only one who brought any color into his life, but even so, his days were still grey while his heart ached for you. When he saw articles about you, he knew he did the right thing. The funny thing was, most people felt good doing the right thing, however for him, it felt like tiest of all s. What was right, felt wrong. It was so painful to know you both were on the same ground and how you were so close, yet so far. How agonizing it was to know how easy it could be for him to just go to your house to see how much you have changed. Did you hate him or did you forget about him already? Did you grow colder or became more open after what he did to you. Were you dating? Did you find someone else better- someone that was worthy of you? He hated when that thought crossed his mind. Either way, without a doubt he knew he would still love you. He decided to go back to the park, to the same spot to remind himself that what he did was for the best for you because you were more important than him himself. He went back in hopes it’ll make him stronger and would be able to stay away from you. Then there, at the bench, he couldn’t believe what he saw...

Chorong standing and stretching right next to her wheelchair with his mom and daughter there. 

Just as he saw her, her eyes met his with fear. His mom followed her gaze to you. She too panicked, but professionally hid it. 

“Son! What are you doing here?” She said as she grabbed onto Chorong’s elbow to support her. “We were going to surprise you with Chorong’s improvement! She’s been working so hard on her rehabilitation.” 

“We don’t have to hide from Daddy anymore!” Sarang ran up to hug him. 

“We weren’t hiding Sarang!” His mom quickly interjected. “We wanted to surprise him! Right, dear?!” she squeezed Chorong’s elbow to make her say something. However, all the years that they’ve known each other, she’s never had to lie to him and they both knew how bad of a liar she was, so it was useless. 

He knew just by looking at her, that there was no improvement because there was never anything to improve. 

“I’m sorry,” was all she could say with a quiver. 

“Why are you apologizing?” The older woman still holding strong to her lies. “You’re happy she’s better right, Jinyoung-ie?”

“Yeah. Good Job, Chorong.” He said then he patted her on the shoulders. 

That was when any grain of any hope that she had held onto that he could love her again had blown away with the spring wind. For him to not even show any anger after finding out everything had been a lie, she just knew there was no love for her in his heart. He probably would have shown more emotions toward a stranger who lied to him than he did for her. After his confession at the park and finally being able to move back in with him, she thought he meant what he said, but in reality, his action made his feelings clear as black and white. His words were bland and shallow. There was zero physical contact unless it was an accident. She didn’t care because she thought this was what she wanted, to be back with him by his side. She thought if she worked hard, then she could rebuild their relationship again. It was like building a fire under the sea. It was hopeless. It was exhausting. It was never going to work. But for some reason, she believed she could do it. Something things are just impossible no matter how hard you believe and work to make it possible. There’s a limit to how much you could lie to yourself about reality. But sooner or later, you’ll suffocate until you're forced to breathe the truth. 

---

You found yourself a few steps away from the bookstore. You had found the key that Halabeoji had left you in your jewelry box as you were packing up your last few things for your move Paris. You had been thinking about it ever since. You stared at it for a long time but decided it was best to return the key to Jinyoung and his family. You knew you needed to return the key in order to fully close the life you had there. You pushed down that it was a pathetic excuse, but you just really wanted to see and smell the store one last time.

You opened the door and the bell rang as it did before, but sadly, the air was different from before. It was less warm and welcoming. You went to touch the books on the front shelves that used to be classic books, but now were books that have been made into movies, with the movie picture covers instead of the original and that made you feel a little sad. 

“Welcome-Oh,” Chorong stopped abruptly holdi