That was the longest 24 hours of your life. In between ticks of the seconds, it felt like time was being dragged. You wanted to fast forwarded everything so that you could get home sooner. Get home to Jinyoung sooner. The sadness and anguish that you felt, you knew Jinyoung was feeling a thousandfolds.

The moment your eyes laid on Jinyoung, your heart tore into pieces. His entire body slumped when he saw you as if whatever weight of the armor he had on vanished. He broke down. He gripped onto you and cried into your arms as you both dropped to the cold floor. He could finally cry. He no longer needed to pretend to be strong like he had been doing for his family. Guilt bursted through your chest and seeped through every inch of your body.You never felt more useless than that moment. You weren’t there by his side during the moment that he needed you most. You thought back to how he must have felt despesperately trying to call you multiple times in his grieve, but was only able to reach your voicemail. Then another thought of the last time you saw Halabeoji. He trusted you to protect Jinyoung and you failed. Your heart choked. You bit your lips and trembled as you held tight onto Jinyoung trying to stop your tears. You were there now, and you weren’t going to let it happen again. You weren’t going to let him cry alone ever again. You were going to be strong for him

Days passed and Jinyoung was still dazed, in and out of it. There were times he’d come out the bathroom, eyes red and swollen. Halabeoji’s voice still rung in your mind, “There are only two people that I’ve seen made Jinyoung smile.....”

One morning you decided to wake up early and looked up “Easy Breakfast Ideas” and decided on a cute Happy Face breakfast. “Easy” was an understatement for you. The pancakes came out crispy, bacons were more on the shade of black, the eggs were drippy, and you probably cut off half the apples trying to cut off its skin, BUT! You didn’t spill the diluted coffee when you poured it into the mug, so that was a win for you. As you were trying to scrape off the burnt crust off the pans, you felt his arm around wrapped around your waist from behind and his lips on your neck, below your ear. You turned your head around, to see a smile snuck through like the sun’s ray through a thick blanket of gray clouds for the first time in what seemed like eternity. All the knife knicks and oil burns were all worth it. You wanted his smile to continue, so you packed him a simple lunch and stuck a little note on his sandwich:

I love you babe! Enjoy this cheesy sandwich, with this cheesy note. My mission is to make you smile.

Later that day he texted:

Mission accomplished. :)

You heart was light knowing you were able to make him smile again. You hoped that you were making Halabeoji smile too.

Time did truly heal. Days turned into weeks turned into months and you fell into a routine. You’d wake up most mornings to make him breakfast and packed him lunch. Some days he’d wake up earlier than you and surprised you with breakfast in bed. On those days, you two lounged around in bed and fed each other while wiggling your toes together under the covers talking about everything and nothing. Somedays, you, Jinyoung and Sarang would all be in the kitchen with music floating through the apartment. Pancake mixes and eggs on the floor and on your faces while you three sang to Bruno Mars into whiskers and spoons. Dancing the chill mornings away.

You had decided to take a leave at 0218 and began working at the bookstore to help Jinyoung’s family. However, it was mainly because you knew that if you didn’t step in, his parents would probably decide to sell the store and you couldn’t let that happen. At first it was hard, Halabeoji’s presence still lingered through the aisles as if he was still there. Every time you walked through the door, you hopelessly expected him to greet you like he already knew you were going to come or when it got dark out, you still heard his voice nagging you to go home already like he had done billions of time before. It hit you the hardest when a customer would purchase a book that he loved, you knew the old man would’ve sighed with a smile, twinkles in his eyes and told the customer, “Marvelous Choice.”

“Ahhh...Marvelous choice. Let me know what you think about it when you’re done.” You handed the customer their book and receipt.

As the customer walked out the door you returned back to organizing the front desk, straightened up scattered papers and putting supplies back in its place. You felt a tug on the hem of your shirt.

“Nora… what shape is this again?” you looked down to see Sarang with a green crayon rested in the middle of her forehead, her eyebrows scrunched together in an adorable confusion staring at her Shapes coloring book. Since everyone in Jinyoung’s family were busy with either work or school, you offered to watch Sarang during the weekdays.

You bent over her to see which shape she was talking about, “Hint. It starts with a T…”

“Uhhh…” She in her breath and squinted her eyes for a moment. “T? Tee.. Tuh… Tuh… Tectangle!!!” She giggled out loud and put her head down on the table and laughed at her own defeat and funny answer.

“It looooks like a rectangle!” Still giggling away.

“You silly bear! Its a…” You wrapped your arms around her whole body, “Trap-!!” You wiggled yourself with her inside and she squealed, “-ezoid!

When you released her, she quickly grabbed your legs in return, “Trap!! Ezoid!!” she she laughed and wiggled her little body onto yours.

“Ahem.” Still in each other’s arms, you both looked up to see Jinyoung’s mom standing there with her arms crossed unamused. The usual.

“Sarang, go grab your things. Let’s get going.” She said with a smile as bland as rice and water, directed only at Sarang. Another usual.

“Ok, Halmeoni!” She popped off the chair and your eyes followed the munchkin jogging down the aisle towards the back room of the store.

“Aren’t you tired of playing wife now, girl?” You turned around and her stone face and icicle eyes erased any blandness and was replaced with distaste.

She completely caught you off guard, “Excuse me?”

You’ve seen her every now and then, but she never had said more than five words to you. During Halabeoji’s funeral, she approached you while you were standing there and told you -not asked, to serve drinks to people who came to pay their respects to Halabeoji. Although it may not be a significant progress to other people, but to you it was huge, like a major stepping stone. It felt like by telling you to help that she was acknowledging you were part of the family, whether she liked it or not. You felt a tiny victory.

“Aren’t you tired of watching someone else’s kid? You should stop playing wife now before you look even more pitiful. I’m starting to feel sad for you.” There was no sadness nor honest concern in her expression. “At first, I tolerated it because we needed the extra hand, but now our family is OK again. You can stop.” She stated with fatigue as if your mere existence has been burdensome for her.

She shook her head, “Look at you. Delinquent hair, make up, and thug tattoos. It’s so embarrassing when people ask who you are