No

 This is not real

Tell me, this is just a dream

Anyone, speak to me, tell me this is all lies

A joke, just a prank

Please

God, help me for this time

Help me to wake up from this nightmare

I can’t take it alone

Let me open my eyes

I need the sun to shine

Why this place was so dark

I’m cold

Jackson hyung..

Listen to me..

Please.

     “Bam bam? How are you?” the boy who heard his name called, lift his head from the bed and looking at the way the voice came. A group of teenagers boy stand in front of him with a bouquet of red roses held by one of the boys , it was  Jackson favorite flower. “Oh, you guys are here. School already end? I’m good hyung.”  Say Bam bam to them with a soft thank you as he accept the flower. The boys make their way to the sofa and the chair beside the bed. The smell of the roses are sweet, so sweet that remains him about those memories he had with Jackson,  but still could not vanish the smell of chemical things at the hospital.

     “Have you takes your lunch?” Mark ask him, eyes not leaving a body lying on the bed. Bam bam just nods his head to answer the question. “how was Jackson?” Jaebum speak up after the long pause between them.  Bam bam is about to tell the older about him but his words cut when Mark says “Jackson, good evening.”

   Bam bam turn his head to the boy who just wake up from his sleep.  “Uh. Yeah.” Jackson stretch his neck and tilt it left and right.  Youngjae and Jinyoung wave their hands at him with a little smile on the face. “Hyung.. Do you need anything?” Bam bam stands next to him and Jackson can’t help him self but chuckle at his boyfriend worry face.

     “I need your kiss.” He said while pulling Bam bam into his arms and closing the distance between them. Bam bam’s lips are soft on him. The younger hands automatically wrap around the latter neck and push himself even closer. Soon Jackson feel the cheery taste on Bam bam lips turn salty. The hands wrapping tightly around him become weak.  Jackson part away softly and sigh.

   “Baby, it’s okay.. Don’t cry.” He wipes away the tears that fall from his lover eyes, smile never leave his face. Bam bam can’t control his emotions so well that is why right now he is fighting for the air caused from crying so hard. Youngjae who is watching them crying sadly around Jaebum arms, the elder pats his boyfriend back to calm him. He, himself too, feel like crying. “I’-I’m sorry, so-sorry, hyung.” Bam bam say to the boy. He didn’t want to cry. He want to be strong. He need to be tough, at least infront of Jackson.

     Jackson just smile to him and kiss the younger forehead lovingly before turns his head toward his other friends. “Hey come on guys! I’m still alive, why the you guys crying!” Jackson try to crack a joke to shoo away all the sad aura around them. Mark sigh, everyone did the same. “So hyung. What do you want to do today?” Jinyoung ask him after he finished cleans his face from all the tears. “I think our Jinyoung finally learns how to respect me and call me hyung. Wahh! This is worth for being sick” once again, Jackson not so funny jokes make them sigh.

    “Hyung, you know you can’t be funny right?” Yugyeom jokingly   to low the pressure in the ward. Jackson pout and Mark laugh a little. “You are the most funniest man in my world Jacksonnie hyung.” Jackson face draw a wide smile after listen to Bam bam words. Yugyeom roll his eyes at Bam bam cheesiness. “Anyway, Youngjae-ahh, why you still crying? Come on stop it already. You makes me feel gloomy.” Jackson point to Youngjae who is now hide his face behind Jaebum shoulder. Jaebum ruffles his hair because his boyfriend is so cute.

     “Picnic!” everyone was looking at Jackson in confuse way. Jackson looks into Bam bam eyes, he see countless star in it. Beautiful. He though. Bam bam is so beautiful. “I want to have picnic under the star.” To create some more memories with you to bring it with me, Jackson let the last sentence gone silent. “Hyung..” Bam bam caress Jackson right cheek with his thumb softly. “Hyung.. we can’t. You can’t go out, okay? It’s too dang-”. “PICNIC!” Bam bam and others become quiet after Jackson suddenly yells.

    “Please? Bam bam.. Let’s go picnic with me, hm?” he ask his boyfriend with puppy eyes, he know the younger can’t resist his cuteness. The latter become weak again. His shelter is about to crack.  Bam bam can’t  win with Jackson aegyo but not Jaebum. “No Jackson. You can’t.” Jackson whines again and again. “Bam bam, baby please, pleaaasee? Just this time.” All of sudden, dark memory of weeks  ago come to slap him self. Bam bam rewind back at time Jackson,  out of blue,  turn into