I saw him cried yesterday. I wonder why..

Should it be because of me? Aihh. I don't think so. He don't have any ideas about I'm dying. Even if he does, would he still care?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "You sure you are okay?" Bambam nod his head as he keep a smile on face. Jackson reaction still show he is not accept what Bambam tell. Something is not right he thought.  "Nothing to be worry hyung, I'm okay. I just feel a little dizzy, that's why"  He is been telling white lies since the start, so there is no reason he should be worry about sins. He had it too much already. "Baby, show me tha- Uhh? What do you want Youngjae-ahh?" Both of them turning their heads to look at smiling Youngjae who is have his hands fulled by various snack.

    "Wanna join me and others? We all about to go to some river over there." say Youngjae calmly as he show his sweet smile toward Jackson and Bambam. His soft black hair wave as the wind blow. "Thanks you but I don't think I can follow you guys. Bambam do not feel really well." Jackson pat Bambam head with care and worry. The yonger feel a little bit of guilty when his hyung refuse to have fun with his friend just because he is sick and Jackson want to stay by his self. What if he tell Jackson the truth, the older may not be happy anymore. That's why he keep it deep inside, its for Jackson sake too. The last things Bambam want to see is Jackson suffer because of him. He will do anything to make sure Jackson is still smiling until his last breath. He will do anything. Eventhough he need to kill hisself for it. For Jackson, everythings worth it.

    "Why? Bambam are you sick? Do you want some medicine? I think Jaebum have it." Youngjae ask the younger worriedly, his face show clearly that he is care about Bambam. Bambam draw a smile on his face, he is thanking God because meeting him with wonderful people before his times up. "Its okay hyung, I already ate it. I just need some sleep. Jackson hyung, you should follow them. I'm okay, seriously." little Bambam try to make his beloved brother belive his words but it seem like Jackson choose to ignore it and stay there with him. Youngjae walk away and tell his friends that Jackson cannot join them because Bambam is sick.

    Everyone can see Yugyeom is freaking worried about Bambam when he ask for leave because he want to look after Bambam, but Jaebum stop him and say that Jackson is there to take care of his best friend. Yugyeom give up when Youngjae also say he do not have to go there because it will disturbing JackBam moments together. Disapointed show on Yugyeom forced smile as he continue his walk, follow the others. "I think Yugyeom really like Bambam." Jaebum whisper to Mark ears as they walk behind Yugyeom, Jinyoung and Youngjae. Mark look at Yugyeom's back for awhile and sigh. "I don't know. He look like just a caring friend to me." Lie Mark. He know Yugyeom have a feeling toward Bambam but why he do not want to admit it? Why he lied to Jaebum? Maybe he just do not want to make things gone wrost or maybe he still like Bambam more than he should or maybe, just maybe Yugyeom start to catch his attention. 

    "You think so? Well, I hope you are right. Loving someone who we should not are really killing us. Realize that person were made for others and not us is just enough to commit suicide." every single words come out from Jaebum mouth slowly drowning him deep and deeper. Bambam smiling face pop up on his crowded mind, followed by his best friend face, Jackson. "I will try to forget." Mark say suddenly. Jaebum look into Mark eyes and ask him what he just said. Mark just shook his head and reply nothing. They continues theirs walk until they reach the river.

   Meanwhile in Jackson and Bambam tents, atmosphera become stranges because both them suddenly do not know what they should do or talk. Bambam just lay there while Jackson watch him from beside. Jackson put another blanket to cover Bambam up when he feel the weather a little chill. Bambam murmurs a thank to his older brother and snuggle into his fluffy warm blanket. "Hy-hyun