"And then I kissed him"

"WHAAT?"

“.... on the cheek"

"Oh...well that's still really great, hyung" I could practically hear Taemin sighing on the other end of the call in disappointment.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't know if I'm ready for my first kiss quite yet" I confessed to my best friend.

"Onew, have you really not kissed anyone before?" He sounded so shocked, which I couldn't understand why. He knew no one had ever liked me. You'd think he could connect the dots....

"Yeah, I haven't been kissed yet" I heaved out a deep sigh, loathing my inexperience. "Taemin-ah, have you?" I realized we had never talked about this before in all our time of being friends. 

"Yes, I have" he simply stated.

"Really? With who?" I wasn't exactly shocked, but I guess a little surprised that he hadn't mentioned it before.

"Minho, the junior, well he was a sophomore at the time"

"How'd that happen, I thought he was straight, he wanted to know if my sister was single"

"He did?! Anyways on that winter break when you were on vacation we spent a lot of time together. Quickly we both developed feeling for each other and one afternoon he just kissed me. It was quick and chaste, nothing too special."

"Did you date afterwards?"

"No, he said he didn't know what he was doing and that he was too young for a relationship"

"How'd you feel?" I asked concerned about my friend's feelings.

"Well I was a bit hurt that he didn't want to continue with anything, but I got over him pretty easily. We only spent two weeks together and I was still just a freshman, so my feelings really weren't that serious or anything" 

"I'm glad you weren't too hurt Taeminnie" I said mentally ruffling his hair.

"Well enough about me, let's get back to the real gossip: you and Jonghyun" he enthusiastically said.

"After I kissed him we had such a romantic moment. We looked into each other's eyes and everything..." I could feel my own eyes gleaming in remembrance of yesterday.

"Goodie hyung, that's sweet… So, what's your next move?"

"Umm I haven't thought that far ahead yet...what do you think I should do?" I owed whatever relationship I had with Jonghyun to Taemin, he really did help me through a lot of this confusing romance stuff. 

"You should confess." his tone was so serious I could hear it drop an octave.

"Don't you think it's a bit early for that? I feel like I should wait for more signs that he likes me too...I don't wanna completely embarrass myself...."

"Onew, listen to me. You need boost that confidence of yours and confess to the boy you've been dreaming about for god knows how many years. You're an amazing guy who deserves a chance with him, so just tell him how you feel, because if he doesn't give you a chance after that, he's really one hell of an idiot" Taemin still spoke in a serious tone, which forced me to listen intently to what he was saying. I always went to Taemin for advice for reasons like this. He was just so damn good at giving it. After his little speech I felt my confidence be immediately revived and was ready to take on this ing confession. 

"Thank you, Taemin. Now please excuse me, for I have a matter to attend to" I was full on determined at this point. I was going to confess. 

"Tell me how it goes" Taemin said as always. 

And with that, I march out of the house telling Umma I'd be back in a bit. Then, I backtracked a bit because I realized I hadn't showered or changed out of my pajamas yet. 

Once I was cleansed and dressed, I for the second time that day made my way to the house of Kim Jonghyun. 

The tiny red home greeted me as I walked up the porch steps and knocked on the door. To my surprise, Jonghyun's sister Sodam opened the door and smiled that bright Kim smile I loved so dearly. 

"Good morning noona, I was just here to see Jonghyun-ah" Suddenly it dawned on me what I was doing. My confident demeanor was dissolving by the second.

"Oh okay Jinki, you can go up to his room he's just reading I think"

I walked through the doorway and started up the stairs.

"Oh and Jinki?"

"Yes noona?"

"Have fun with him" she snickered crinkling her eyes.

Confused and a bit stunned, I just slowly nodded my head and made my way up the narrow stairwell.

I found Jonghyun's bedroom door, and gingerly pressed my ear up to it. Nothing. I heard nothing, not even the flip of a page. I reluctantly brought my hand up to his door and knocked three times. Still nothing.

"Oh hey Jinki, is that you?" I felt a hand on my shoulder making me tense up. I stood frozen, because once again I realized what I had come here to do. And I didn't know if I had the tough gut to do this. 

Jonghyun walked up to face me and exclaimed, "Oh it is you! Thank god I thought it might've been a robber, although I don't think most robbers knock..."

"No you were right. I came here to steal" your heart I wanted to say, but I settled with "your guitar. It's pretty valuable isn't it?" I giggled hoping he liked my joke. Thankfully he did and gave me a soft chuckle in response, and lightly clapped his hand on my back "if you want it so much just take it. I know you don't have the heart to keep it anyway"

"You're right. I could never keep something so special to you"

We smiled at each other until he opened his bedroom door and motioned for me to enter. 

You can do this Jinki. You're a cute guy who has already slept with, gone on a date with, and kissed (sorta) Jonghyun. If he rejects you after that and all your years of friendship, then you'll get over him and it'll be okay. But for now, get your game face on because you are gonna confess the out of him. 

I may have gone a tad bit overboard with the mental pep talk, but I needed it in that moment. This was the most vulnerable I had every felt in my whole life. 

We were both sat down on his bed. 

"So you're probably wondering why I came to see you...." I was trying to understand the look on his face, but it was pretty neutral and he gave no response, so I just kept going. 

"The truth is, I have feelings for you. I have for a while now, and I thought it was about time I said something about them. I think you're sweet, handsome, charismatic and a whole thesaurus more of other adjectives" My heart was beating so fast I could feel it pouncing in my chest radiating throughout my body. I felt like my head was on fire and the only thing that could extinguish it was Jonghyun's kind words.

He looked at me for a few moments, eyeing me up and down. It looked like I was being inspecting for flaws by his judging eyes. But I knew Jonghyun was too kind to judge me. His soul was too pure for such actions. 

Jonghyun raised his soft hand to my cheek, rubbing it tenderly. His eyes looked at me in either adoration or pity. I honestly couldn't tell which. He just continued moving his thumb across my cheek as if it was the most delicate thing in the world. In that moment, for just that second I felt cherished. 

I awaited his response patiently, but I was yearning for his words so badly. I just wanted to plead for him to tell me he liked me back, and that I wasn't a complete fool for thinking I had a chance with him, and that I was worth his love and kindness.

"Jinki....." He raised my lowered head towards his and looked at me dead on. 

"I have feelings for you too. And they're very real". 

"So are mine" I croaked out not quite ready to speak.

He grabbed my hands with his and brought them up to his face. He gently brushed his lips across each knuckle, treasuring them like they were precious. He closed his eyes as he did this, and so did I. This way I could turn all my attention to my hands and what were being done to them. It felt almost like a cleansing from his heart. Like he was erasing all my flaws and insecurities simply with his soft lips being grazed upon my skin. If I thought I felt cherished before, I was being very naive because this was what it felt like to be cherished by Kim Jonghyun.

(A/N) Hey there, I'm so tired....hope you like this chapter but if you don't that's chill. Also, holy I have 43 subscribers?! Like What? Thank you so much for actually reading my jongyu trash haha ok have a good night and please comment ;D