It's been a week and Jungkook has stopped trying to communicate with me. Yesterday, last night, I burnt myself again because my mom starting shouting about leaving the family. My arm is kind of sore from it, but I can deal with it. I can deal with the burning more than the shouting from my parents.

 

"JiYoon!" I hear someone call. I turned around, seeing Jungkook running towards me. Art class just ended, which means school has ended. I was walking on the way to an ice cream shop.

 

I turn back around and continue walking. Then, he grabs my arm tightly, literally gripping it tight and pulls me towards him, turning me around to face him. I wince and pull my arm back, rubbing it over my sweater sleeves. I don't look at him.

 

He grabs my arm again, but softly and drags me somewhere where hardly anyone is at school. It's not really isolated, but it is slightly empty. He grabs the bottom of my sleeve, and I grab his hand to stop him.

 

"Lift up your sleeve." He says. I stay looking away from him and I shake my head. He just keeps his hand holding my sleeve.

 

"JiYoon, lift it up. I'm not stupid." He adds. I start breathing harder and slowly let go of his hand. He lifts up my sleeve and I look away more. I have no idea what his facial expression was.

 

He lifts my arm up more, I'm guessing for him to see it better. Then I feel his thumbs caress my burns. Then, he pulls my sleeve back down and I finally look at him.

 

"Well, it's not what I thought but it's the same thing." He says. I look at the floor. "JiYoon, I have a sister, okay? A sister who self-harmed as well, but she didn't burn herself. She used a razor."

 

I look at him and he's staring straight at me. I just nodded, still not talking. We both stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds, and then he looks away. He looks at the floor, then at the sky, then at the trees to the right side of us.

 

"You know, since you don't have anyone you can uhm, talk to...you can talk to me." He says, both my eyebrows slightly raise from confusion and shock. He slightly looks back at me, then scoffs looks away again.

 

"You know what, never mind. Forget what I said." He says. "Just don't do it again."

 

My mouth starts to curve into a smile for seeing this side of Jungkook. I wanted to laugh because it was too unbelievable. Instead, I ran to him and hugged him. I didn't see his facial expression but to my surprise, he hugged me back. Tightly.

 

"Awwwwwww." I hear someone say. He pushes me away. I turned to see who it was and it was TaeHyung. My eyes grew wide and I turned around and start to walk away.

 

"Where you going?" Jimin says, stepping in front of me. I have no idea how he got there. He gives me the creepiest smile.

 

"I thought you said you weren't interested in any of us." Jimin adds, looking at Jungkook and then back at me. I stay quiet. "Oh, you won't talk to me but you'll talk to Jungkook?"

 

"Hyung, she hasn't spoken to me either." Jungkook says.

 

"But you two were just hugging." TaeHyung comes in. Jungkook stays silent and I stay looking at the ground. I look up when I see Jimin walk away from me and towards Jungkook and TaeHyung. He whispers something to them and then they chuckle and look over at me. I'm confused.

 

TaeHyung puts his arm around Jungkook and walks away, messing up his hair. Jimin comes up to me and puts his arm around me, making me walk with him behind TaeHyung and Jungkook.

 

"If you're not going to talk to us, we'll make you talk to us." He says, making us catch up to TaeHyung and Jungkook. He pushes me in between them two and he goes next to Jungkook on the other side.

 

Both Jungkook and TaeHyung put their arm behind my back, making it hard for me to escape. They walk into a crowded area and everyone looks over. TaeHyung says something to Jungkook and starts laughing, but I'm too busy freaking out inside to pay attention.

 

I look around and I see people starting to whisper to each other, but I have no idea if it's about me or not. They are looking over this way, though. I cover my face with the sleeves of the school sweater and Jungkook hugs me. I tense up inside and a few seconds later, I push away from them.

 

They all look at me, TaeHyung and Jimin the only ones smiling. Jungkook put his hands in his pocket and stares off into the distance. It was as awkward for him as it was for me, it seems. I just look at them.

 

"Ah, she's still not talking." Jimin says.

 

"No. But everyone saw her hanging out with us. They're going to talk to her." TaeHyung adds in.

 

"You guys are so cocky." I say.

 

"Hey, she speaks!" Jimin shouts.

 

"Hyung?" Jungkook says, looking at Jimin. He goes over to him and whispers something to him. Jimin nods and then walks away with TaeHyung. I look at Jungkook and he looks at me, forcing out a small smile. This side of Jungkook is weird.

 

"Uhm, do you still need help with the project?" He asks. I raise an eyebrow in surprise. I nod.

 

"Okay, you can come over anytime if you need help." He says. My eyebrows are still raised. I nod again. He nods too and then turns around. He starts walking but then stop. He turns back to face me.

 

"Oh, and by the ways. I wasn't lying about coming to me if you need to talk to someone." He says, then walks away. What. The heck. Just happened?

 

***

 

I'm sitting in Jungkook's house on his couch a few days later. I'm staring at my sketchbook and sigh, having nothing come to my head. Jungkook's sitting next to me, looking at me.

 

I'm still a bit shocked to the kind side he has hidden inside. I don't think TaeHyung and Jimin know about it. Whenever Jimin or TaeHyung is around him, he acts very different. He acts like the Jungkook I hate so much. This Jungkook, I can deal with this Jungkook though. I still can't stop thinking about how he said his sister used to cut herself. Is being bad, his escape from pain? Because that's one weird way to get the pain out. Then it hit me, an idea.

 

I leaned forward onto the coffee table in front of us and started drawing into my sketchbook.

 

About 15 minutes later, I finish my rough draft. I sit back a little, and stare at it. I feel Jungkook leaning closer to get a better look at the drawing.

 

It was almost the same thing from the first drawing I drew on the first day of school. It was a person, shoulders and up only drawn. He was holding onto a huge glass cup filled with water in front of him. The guy was drawn as someone scary and aggressive, he looked like someone you would not want to be friends with. But his reflection in the glass and water was totally different. His face in the reflection was someone shocked. His face looks shocked, but you can tell he was innocent and sweet. His reflection was shocked to see how he, on the outside, turned out to be.

 

"Wow." Jungkook says. "Like I said before, your drawings are deep."

 

I was very proud. The drawing was of Jungkook and how I see him. Mean on the outside, but a huge softy in the inside. But, I don't think he notices it's him. I don't think he notices he has two sides of him.

 

"I'll come back with colors." Jungkook says, standing up from the couch. As he did, my backpack fell down and my lighter fell out. My eyes widen and I was going to snatch it away before he sees it, but it was too late.

 

He picked it up from the ground and looks at it. He then looks at me.

 

"Do you burn yourself in school or something?" He asks me.

 

"Give it back." I tell him.

 

"Oh, now you speak." He says, walking over to what looks like the trash can.

 

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

 

"I'm throwing this away." He says.

 

"No!" I shout, standing up and running to him. He stops walking and quickly opens his door and throws it out, very far. I get to him and then look out the door. No sight of the lighter.

 

"Why?" I shout at him, tears forming quickly in my eyes. "That was my only lighter!" I yell, forming a fist to punch him.

 

He grabs my wrist and I wince and break down. I fall to the ground and he goes on the floor with me, pulling me to him and hugging me.

 

"Why?" I keep crying. I repeat it over and over again. I think I was annoying him, but he stayed hugging me.

 

***

 

I wake up and quickly sat up straight when I didn't recognize where I was. I was on a bed and this was definitely not my room. I look around the room and saw Jungkook sitting at a desk. This is his room.

 

"Oh, you're finally awake." He says, turning to face me. He slightly smiles. "You fell asleep after you broke down an hour ago."

 

I stare at him. He then throws my sketchbook at me on his bed. It was opened to the drawing I did. He colored it in and it was beautiful.

 

"Is it good?" He asks. I chuckle to myself and nod my head. I think I saw him smiling.

 

"Where do you get these ideas to draw?" He asks.

 

"Experience." I answer back. He just looks at me and then gets up from his desk. He sits down on his bed, still enough distance away from me.

 

"Tell me, was the drawing you did on the first day of school, was that actually me?" He asks. I laugh and shake my head.

 

"I drew it with my father in mind." I reply. His eyes widen a tiny bit, and he scoots a little closer to me. I feel uncomfortable.

 

"Do you burn yourself because of your father?" He asks. I shake my head. I feel slightly uncomfortable telling him about this, but I also feel the tense feeling inside me release.

 

"Both my parents." I say. He nods and scoots closer again. What is he doing?

 

"You know, you're ugly when you cry." He says, chuckling. I roll my eyes.

 

"You owe me another lighter." I tell him. He scoffs.

 

"I don't owe you anything. Especially not another lighter. You're not getting another lighter. I better not see you with another lighter." He says. He sounded scary.

 

"What's so bad? It's not like I'm creating holes into my skin." I tell him.

 

"Burning yourself is as bad as cutting yourself. This is why I don't smoke. I may not be bleeding but I know if I smoke my insides will collapse later on." He tells me. I look at him, surprised. Wow, this side of him is so unusual.

 

"You don't have a reason to smoke." I say. He raises an eyebrow at me.

 

"My sister had a reason to cut. What makes it seem like I don't have a reason to smoke?"

 

I slowly nodded and then stayed quiet.

 

"I'm sorry." I let out. He shakes his head. I grab the sketchbook and get of the bed. I go straight for the door.

 

"JiYoon." He shouts. I turn and look at him.

 

"I'll be checking on your arm." He says. I stare at him for a while, and walk out his room.