Hanbin Pov

I don't know why but I finally decided that it is time for me to confess to Min Young finally. Even if she is still with Mino hyung, I feel that my head is going to burst if I don't tell her how I feel. I decided to perform a song for her that has already become a bit but she doesn't know it was actually written by me. I wrote the song and passed it to Jiyong hyung as I felt that it would feel too personal for me to pass it to Ikon as our song. He had a look at it and asked me if I could pass it to Loco hyung from AOMG cause he was looking for something like a love song but can't seem to find the right one. I said ok but do not credit me or shoot a video for this song cause I don't want my vision of Min Young be tainted by some y girl in the video.

I texted Min Young to come over to Ikon's practice room if she was free cause I knew that her practice with CL noona should have finished and I wanted to catch her before she goes back to Mino hyung. She said that she will be coming soon and the nervousness just totally went up. Confessing to her is probably worse than trying to get my lyrics right for Show Me The Money. The worst that could happen on the show is that I will get eliminated but with Min Young, she might even chose to stay away and I can't have that happening. She knocked on the door and came in. I noticed another long sleeve top along with a jacket. Did Mino hyung hurt her again? I wish he didn't and I wish he wasn't my sunbae so I can just punch him for what he has done to her. She told me that she can't stay long as Mino hyung will pick her up in an hour to go with dinner. I just said it's ok, I won't take very long. I started the song and I saw her smile cause it was one of her favorite tracks. Best part is that she doesn't even know that the song is about her.

Tonight I think of you again
Without you knowing, without you knowing
Right now, in this moment, I think of you without fail
Without you knowing, without you knowing

I quietly say it again today, if only it could reach you
If only I could run to you right now
As I blame the situation, saying it can’t be helped
I imagine the scene where I face you

I wrote this song during the survival shows period as I badly wanted to see her, to be able to see her smile and maybe to even confess but I couldn't. After Mino hyung and Team A won, Team B was even more confined and she spent more time with him which hurt me a lot. Her text messages brighten up my day but nothing compares to hearing her actual voice and seeing her smile.

Words that comfort me, some day

I’ll be able to see you again some day

I check your pictures every day

But I pretend to not care when I talk to you

You probably don’t know anything

Even if you hear this song, it’ll just pass

I wanted to be brave so I drank

So I lost my memory of when we held each other and danced

I didn’t want to fall for you anymore so I stopped talking to you

RIght now, you might be with someone else

It’s selfish but I hope it doesn’t turn into something serious

Tonight I think of you again

Without you knowing, without you knowing

Right now, in this moment, I think of you without fail

Without you knowing, without you knowing

This song is about you you you you you but you don’t know

This song is about you you you you you but you don’t know

This song is about you you you you you but you don’t know

This song is about you you you you you but one two three

I purposely created a secret SNS account so I could check on her photos when the PD wasn't having our phones because I missed her so much. I kept telling myself that I will be able to see her as much as I want after the show was over. I didn't want to make it obvious so even when I passed by her, I made it seemed like it was nothing but my heart was actually jumping for joy when one day she asked me if I heard of Loco hyung's "You Don't Know" song and said the girl he wrote it for must be real lucky. I wanted to actually tell her that it was me who wrote it and that it is about her but I never did. One time after the survival shows was over, we all went out to club and drank and danced but then again she was with Mino hyung so only in the clubs whereby public doesn't know any relations and where everyone is a little drunk is where I become brave enough to hug her and dance with her. But after that night, I kept my distance for awhile which I guessed made her confused. I didn't want to fall deeper when there is no chance of us being together but it didn't help, I still fell anyway.

I used to think that life was too short to be hung up on someone
But I guess I’m too young to say that
Because I know I can’t do anything at just one word you said

I want to take down all the walls in your heart
I’m curious about everything in those walls
Am I in there at least a little bit?
Or is it filled with someone else?

I’ll definitely forget you some day
Time will pass and this song will remain
I didn’t want to throw away this feeling
So I put the lyrics I scribbled down into this place

You are stripping all of me
But I’m still not embarrassed, I’ll stand proud
But you can’t see anything
I’m thinking of you right now, without you knowing

Tonight I think of you again
Without you knowing, without you knowing
Right now, in this moment, I think of you without fail
Without you knowing, without you knowing

This song is about you you you you you but you don’t know
This song is about you you you you you but you don’t know
This song is about you you you you you but you don’t know
This song is about you you you you you but you

I know that my hand can’t touch your body
You’re too far, I can’t project my voice
My greed gets bigger without even knowing
I hope my existence reaches you

I know that my hand can’t touch your body
You’re too far, I can’t project my voice
My greed gets bigger without even knowing
I hope my existence reaches you

Tonight I think of you again
Without you knowing, without you knowing
Right now, in this moment, I think of you without fail
Without you knowing, without you knowing

This song is about you you you you you
but you don’t know
This song is about you you you you you
but you don’t know
This song is about you you you you you
but you don’t know
This song is about you you you you you
but one two three

In all of my fantasies, she was with me but in reality, she was never mine. I felt that i'm too young to be hung up on her but I've loved her since we were young kids of 16 and now four years later, I can't help but feel that I missed out on making her mine and that I let her slip to someone else without intending to. I finished performing the song and she was just smiling. Ok, Hanbin, now it's time to do or die. I can't hold back anymore. "Oppa, thanks for singing my favorite song. Whoever Loco oppa wrote this for must be one amazing girl.", she said to me.

"Min Young. I got several confessions to make. This song was not written by Loco hyung, it was written by me and passed onto him by Jiyong hyung, I purposely asked them not to credit me or make a video for this song. This song is actually about you. I've been in love with you since we were 16 and even before you were with Mino hyung. I know it's too late for me to confess now but I feel that if I don't say anything, my head is going to burst. Min Young, I know he is hurting you, you think I don't know that you are hiding bruises? Min Young, he is no good for you. I will treat you better, I will never hurt you. I will treat you like the princess and angel that you are. Please just don't run away from me. I know everything is too sudden but I really do love you", I told her as I hugged her and on impulse, kissed her lips.

She pushed me away and I saw tears coming down her face. "Oppa, you don't know how long I've waited for you to confess to me. I loved you too when I was 16, I gave you so many chances to confess to me but you treated me like I'm just your dongsaeng. It hurt me a lot and I just gave up. I didn't want to love someone who didn't want me. I will admit, Minho oppa is not my first love but I really truly love him and he doesn't mean to hurt me. He is only jealous and it is actually related to you. Someone caught us doing skinship and told him and he got jealous of it. Oppa, if you truly love me, let me go please. It's no point for us to keep going back and forth like this. I love Minho oppa now and I did love you at one point of time but you missed the chance. The ship has sailed and you are just breaking my heart now. I won't run away but I need some time alone. Please leave me alone.", she said with a choked up voice. I tried to approach her but she just kept backing down from me.

I never knew of her feelings for me but I guess she was right, I never made a move and here we are, four years later too late. I just wished that I could turn back time but since I can't, I just have to let time work itself out. I slowly left her alone in the room eventhough I didn't want to because she did not want me anywhere near her. I sighed as I left the room with all of my thoughts swirling in my head. 

Double update!!! Hope you liked it and please do leave some comments!