Hanbin Pov

I can't believe it has been a year since Min Young left but the even better or worst part is that reading Hilary Duff's interview that revealed my pen name of writing for her then I noticed the other pen name was Min Young's. I actually went through the songs she helped wrote hoping there was a message for me but it felt like it was all for Mino hyung. I didn't know whether to feel upset or angry. I took another drink of my beer, I took up drinking after she left and was moping around until Seunghoon hyung decided to have a talk with me.

I stopped the drinks couple of months ago but reading the lyrics today, it just made me feel these feelings that I couldn't process. Maybe she forgot my pen name, maybe she didn't know that I was working with Hilary noona but still, maybe it is time to move on? Four years of feelings and a whole year of trying to get over the rejection made me more numb to everything. I threw myself fully into work and the Ikon dongsaengs got scared of me until the point that Bobby hyung pulled me out of the room and told me that he gets my heartbreak but it was unfair of me to throw my feelings onto the other members so I started throwing them into writing. Sajangnim heard that Hilary noona was shopping around for songs and he listened to an English song that I wrote that he felt was more suited for her than Ikon or a solo for me. Thankfully Hilary noona could relate to it and liked it. We worked through Skype and email as I told sajangnim that I don't want to be in New York for fear of bumping into Min Young. He found out about my confession and subsequent rejection like two days after Min Young left and has pretty much left me alone to fix my feelings. I started playing the song that I wrote and took another drink.

Hot sweats in cold sweaters
I feel a little lost since you've been gone
The blame helps you feel better
Until you run across the cloud I'm on

You're reaching for a hand that's in the past
And beaches where the sand has turned to glass
Your television life couldn't channel this love

You can't put your arms around a memory
You can't put your arms around a memory
And now I'm wishing you were here
As much as I wish you would disappear
So will you remember to forget me?
You can't put your arms around a memory (a memory)
Can't put your arms around a memory (a memory)
And will you remember to forget me?
You can't put your arms around a memory (a memory)

A life boat in dead water
A ship inside, a battle that we broke
And we lost our true colours
We opened every door until we closed

And I could feel you in my air tonight
Coming through the waves in satellites
But our city skies will never light up

You can't put your arms around a memory
You can't put your arms around a memory
And now I'm wishing you were here
As much as I wish you would disappear
So will you remember to forget me?
You can't put your arms around a memory (a memory)
Can't put your arms around a memory (a memory)
And will you remember to forget me?
You can't put your arms around a memory (a memory)

Hot sweats in cold sweaters
I feel a little lost since you've been gone

Maybe it really is time to move on, after all, Min Young has never tried to contact me although I knew she spoke to Jinhwan hyung and Bobby hyung but my dongsaengs are considerate enough of how I feel to just pass on messages without speaking directly to her. I miss her hugs and our skinship but all those are just memories now after all like what I wrote, you really can't put your arms around a memory and that is all she is right now, a memory. A memory that will not only be bittersweet for me and Mino hyung but also Seunghoon hyung because the sentence that woke me up when he spoke to me was that at least I had a chance to confess, he never did. It made me realise that I was lucky for that chance and that I shouldn't be moping around just because of a rejection which will remain as a memory now.

Yes, I'm on a roll of updates :)

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