Hola. Today is a good day. Good is an understatement actually. Soshi is everywhere. It's so good to see Soshi-related stuff on my timeline.

So here's the longest chapter ever.

Are you ready for one heck of a ride? This chapter may be a little f-ed up but this is a major turning point. 

---

They were going to the clinic for their test results. His parents were really eager so they found a recommended clinic that could do fertility tests plus full-body checkup and booked them an appointment immediately after that weekend. Three weeks later they had to go back to the clinic and today was the day. Siwon still found it redundant but for his parents' sake, he had to.

"So you're gonna ignore me all the way and then pretend we're fine infront of my parents?"

Tiffany kept silent as she stared straight ahead. She hadn't been talking to Siwon although he had been trying. She was waiting for him to apologize. Whether or not Taeyeon was her friend, it was wrong of him to say such unpleasant stuff of a person he hardly knew.

"Tiff, remember whose fiancée you are."

She snapped her head towards Siwon and threw him a glare. If eyes could kill he would've been dead a long while ago. Was he seriously testing her limits?

"So that's what it takes to make you look at me? It's not that I want to argue with you or meddle with your rights to make friends. But Kim Taeyeon is not who you think she is. She-"

"She's an orphan. She grew up alone. She doesn't have much friends but she cares for them more than she cares for herself, me included. She's a selfless person. She works hard to provide for herself at a young age. She's been through a lot. She's the best friend anyone could ever ask for."

That shut Siwon up as he gripped the steering wheel tighter and clenched his jaw. It didn't feel good when his girl complimented another person like that.

"And I know of her preference," Tiffany continued softly. "But that doesn't mean I'll stop being friends with her just because her ual orientation's different."

"What's your deal, Siwon? Why are you so against her? You weren't this... this aggressive back in LA. You even made friends with some of the LGBTs. Why is she different?"

Siwon loosened his grip and relaxed his posture. He disliked how Tiffany was able to see through him. Since they were engaged now, it should be harmless to tell her the truth. He had to be truthful anyway.

"She- you remember that project I worked on since I came back from New York till recently?"

Tiffany acknowledged with a hum. That project made her realize how much she missed Taeyeon since he was hardly there. It was the turning point that made her realize what she felt for her wasn't just friendship, it was so much deeper.

"We were close to securing the deal but her team came out of nowhere and bam, we lost to them. All our hard work gone just like that. They said they weren't going to pitch in this but they did." He sighed heavily and continued, "That was my key to a promotion and it got busted. I was frustrated and got even more angry when I found out she was the leader of that team. So I-"

"So all of these wasn't because of her preference, but she obstructed your chance to a promotion?!"

Now this got Tiffany fuming with anger. What the hell was wrong with him?! She thought he was this mean to Taeyeon because he despised her kind but who would've thought?

Siwon kept quiet as he drove them to their destination. He knew it was a mistake to let emotions take over his logic. He probably shouldn't have said those things because he felt angry. That and the fact that Taeyeon liked Tiffany romantically. He panicked. If he could lose the deal which he had so much confidence in, he could lose Tiffany to Taeyeon. He had underestimated her, and the only way to get to her was through his fiancée.

"You're unbelievable," Tiffany breathed. "You- I don't even know what to say. I'm disappointed, Siwon, I really am. I thought the only consequence of you being a workaholic was just negligence. I never thought you were capable of hating on my friend and trying to separate us just because she got your deal. Just because your proud self can't take losing to a woman. Is that it? You can sacrifice my happiness, my friend, just for your benefit? For your little revenge plan?"

Tiffany let out a bitter laugh and wiped the tears rolling down her face. This was so ridiculous. The perfect guy she thought he was, wasn't that perfect after all.

---

"You didn't invite me here to watch TV with you, right? You know I have one at home too?" Taeyeon joked.

Her friend invited her over to her place and for the past hour they've been watching television quietly, discussing the plot every once in a while.

"Yah, Sunny-ah, what's wrong? Boy problems? Or is there something you need help with? C'mon, spill!"

Taeyeon received Sunny's text asking her to meet up just as she was about to pack up and leave for the day. She was close to being annoyed since she didn't forsake dinner with Suzy for nothing.

"Tiffany's... engaged," Sunny said slowly to prepare herself for any explosive reaction from Taeyeon.

She didn't know how Taeyeon would react since she had been progressing well with Suzy. She thought it might be better to let her know earlier, to let her prepare herself in case she received the wedding invitation in her mailbox one day and nobody's there for her. But the look on her friend's face made her regret the decision to come clean. Perhaps she should have waited.

Taeyeon was silent as the information went through her head over and over again. She's engaged. She's going to get married to him. She said yes. She's getting married. Surprisingly it didn't hurt as much as she thought it would. Was it because of Suzy? Had her broken heart healed? Or reality had yet to sink in? She wasn't expecting that from Sunny. She thought it was her friend who had problems, and not her.

"That's... that's good. Isn't it? It's good news." The more Taeyeon said the more she felt her eyes brim with tears. She shouldn't be crying. This meant they've both moved on and found their own happiness. Her with Suzy and Tiffany with Siwon. It is good, right? So why did her chest feel heavy? Her head throbbed and she clenched her fists, as if it would take away the pain from both the headache and heartache.

"Taeng..."

"No, really, I'm fine. It's just," she exhaled, "it's just- I thought it wouldn't be that soon."

Tiffany did mention she wouldn't get married in a year or two. But hey, look, it was just slightly more than 3 months since she said that. Look where it got them.

"You can cry, you know. It's just us. Stop putting up a strong facade. I'm here for you. Let this be the last time you cry over her." Sunny opened her arms wide. She wanted her friend to know she would always be by her side whenever she needed someone, they all would.

She hated it when Taeyeon kept her emotions bottled up. It could cause depression if she were to do this frequently. She knew how her friend didn't like to be an inconvenience but when would she learn that it's only a burden when her friends had to constantly worry for her wellbeing? The sooner she confides in them, the faster they could get the problem solved, the better things would turn out for all of them.

Taeyeon listened to Sunny and let herself go. She sobbed in her arms and her cries were making Sunny teary too. It was really time to let go. She couldn't even have that 10% chance of Tiffany liking her back, or to ditch siwon and be together with her. It was time to clear the occupied space in her heart for Suzy. It was time to go all out.

She still hoped for a miracle, that Tiffany would choose her eventually. But it's obvious that she would still be the loser. She had lost to Siwon, and would always lose to him.

---

"Hello?" Sunny answered her phone softly as Taeyeon was asleep on her couch. That poor girl cried so much that she fell asleep exhausted.

"Sunny-ah, did Fany go over to your place?"

"Tiffany?" Sunny looked at Taeyeon to make sure she was fast sleep before proceeding to the kitchen so she could talk freely.

"No, she's not here. You're looking for her? Why don't you call?" She asked, puzzled. Why would Sooyoung call at 2 AM to find out where Tiffany was? Why would the model be here at 2 AM in the first place?

"Aish, she's not there," Sooyoung said. Her voice was muffled and distant so Sunny guessed she was talking to Sihoon who was probably somewhere near her friend.

"What's wrong? Why are you looking for Fany at this hour?"

"Siwon came over an hour ago and said Tiffany went missing. She's not home since noon and she doesn't have much friends here except for us. He's worried. I've tried everyone and you're the last one on the list. If she's not there then..." Sooyoung trailed off and Sunny knew exactly what she meant.

"Did he go to the places she frequented to check? Maybe she has other friends. Her co-workers? Stylists? Did you try Juhyun?"

"I've tried everyone except for Taeyeon," she replied softly. "We tried everyone, Sunny. Siwon went to places they visited before and she's not there."

"What happened?" She whispered, trying very hard to keep her tone calm and collected.

"It's not my position to say but... she's not emotionally stable right now."

"She fought with Siwon again?" Sunny remembered how Tiffany rushed to her place after an argument. If Siwon was the cause of this, she would punch him in the face the next time she sees him and maybe throw in a few kicks.

"Sort of, but it's something deeper than that. Sunny, try calling her alright? We'll continue to look for her. Will keep you posted."

Sooyoung ended the call before she could reply. They were all worried. It wasn't safe for Tiffany to be out in the streets at this hour, especially with her looks and popularity. She paced around the kitchen as she dialed Tiffany's number over and over again. It all went to voicemail. She switched off her phone.

Fany-ah, where are you?

"What's wrong?"

Sunny jumped as she didn't realize Taeyeon was awake. The latter was leaning on the counter island, rubbing her sore and puffy eyes. Should she...

"Tiffany's missing." Sunny threw caution to the wind and announced. It wasn't time to care for her friend's feelings since it was more important to find Tiffany. Pronto.

Taeyeon stiffened and stopped all her actions. Did she hear right? Tiffany? As in, their friend Tiffany? Missing? She lowered her hand slowly and looked at Sunny with a don't-you-dare-lie-to-me face.

"Come again? I think I heard wrongly." She tried being calm but her voice came out shaky. Her whole body was shaking in anger and disbelief. If Sunny was f-king with her, she'd return the favor 10 times worse.

"Tiffany is missing," Sunny stressed on every word as she replied. "They can't find her. She switched off her phone. She's not with any of us, or any of her colleagues."

Tiffany. Missing. She's...

"When was this?!" Taeyeon's nostrils flared as she took deep, quick breaths through her nose.

"The last time Siwon saw her was in the afternoon. And he finally went to look for Sooyoung like, an hour ago. To seek help, probably."

"The f- she has been uncontactable for more than 12 hours and he just- what the hell?!"

"My thoughts exactly. He probably thought he could find her. Apparently not," she paused. "Look, Taeyeon, anger aside, we need to find her. It's not safe out there."

Sunny walked towards her and held onto her shoulder. "But first, you have to go wash up. You look ugly."

"Yah! This is no joking matter!"

She smiled at the panicky Taeyeon. "I know. I was thinking we could split up to look for her. You go to places you think she'd be at, or the places the both of you had visited before okay? I'll try to look around the vicinity."

Taeyeon rushed to the restroom to tidy up and ran to the couch to grab her bag before dashing out of the apartment. She had to find Tiffany, and fast. What the hell was wrong with Siwon? As her fiancé shouldn't he not let Tiffany out of his sight? That guy's stupid, or stupid? If anything were to happen to her... what could she do anyway? She was in no position to in. She shook her head and cleared all negative thoughts. Finding Tiffany was the priority.

She drove to the places they've been to, but she still couldn't find Tiffany. She racked her brain for the places she might go to. At 3:20 AM, there were only a handful of places still open. The mall was closed, the ice-cream parlor too. The only places still open were the bars and clubs which she thought Tiffany wouldn't go to if she's upset. Taeyeon was down to the last few locations on her list and she ruffled her hair in frustration. Fany-ah, don't do this. Come on, let me find you. Think of something Kim Taeyeon, think!

Suddenly it struck her where might the missing girl be. Taeyeon prayed hard as she slammed down on the gas pedal and her car zoomed off, heading towards the last location on her list. Please be there. Wait for me, Fany. I'm coming for you. Please be okay.

---

Taeyeon ran around the park and looked around frantically to locate any signs of Tiffany. She came to a halt when she saw a figure sitting alone on the park bench. She had finally found the missing girl in a park they went to previously. It was Taeyeon's favourite hangout place and she remembered she brought Tiffany here. And this was where they shared their first hug, albeit awkwardly.

Her heart broke when she saw the downcast look of the model. The lighting in the park was bright enough for her to see her face. She quietly walked towards the brunette sitting on the lone bench and sat beside her. She brought an extra jacket and draped it on her shoulder. It was getting chilly and she was only wearing a dress. She made a mental note to reprimand her for staying out late in a dress, but that could wait.

Tiffany was staring into space when she felt someone sitting beside her. She stiffened until she caught the blonde locks from the corner of her eyes. Taeyeon. She relaxed as Taeyeon draped a jacket on her shoulder. Even after not speaking to her for close to two months, she was still so attentive to her.

They both sat next to each other silently. It had been quite some time since she last saw her. Tiffany seemed to have slimmed down a little. Was she not eating right? Was her work too hectic? What exactly happened between her and Siwon? Why did she run off like that? Had she been doing well? Taeyeon had tons of questions in mind but she felt this was not the right time. As long as Tiffany's fine, anything else could wait.

"I've always wanted a family of my own. My mum left while I was still young. I wanted my future kids to see me as they grow up. I want to be in every single phase of their lives. That's why I ate and lived healthily. I want to be there for the long run," Tiffany started, breaking the silence.

Taeyeon wasn't sure where this was heading so she kept quiet and waited for Tiffany to continue. She didn't know what triggered Tiffany to leave, she didn't know how she's feeling. She only knew the poor girl was shaking due to the coldness. She knew, as her finger brushed across her skin as she put the jacket on her. She wanted so much to hold her in her arms to warm her up but thought better of it.

"But I just found out today th-that I couldn't have that. No matter how healthy I am, something's wrong. Perhaps my life has been too perfect so far so there must be a little imperfection."

Couldn't have that as in, she's not getting married anymore or... Taeyeon almost slapped herself for feeling happy if Tiffany was not getting married anymore. Seemed legit though, since she ran off from Siwon and stayed out till now.

"I went to the doctor for a checkup three weeks ago. And today the results came out..." Tiffany choked back her tears as she felt her lips quivering. "Results stated I'm not able to have kids. If- I can only get pregnant through an egg donor."

She ran out of the clinic after the consultation and took a cab to this park. She knew nobody would find her here since it wasn't in her usual hangout list. The only person who could find her was Taeyeon, that was if she still remembered they came here before.

She knew it was irresponsible of her to run off like that. She spent all her money on the cab fare and she didn't bring her wallet. It was her emergency stash under her phone cover. Her phone battery had died since all she did when she sat here was to browse for more information regarding treatments and how egg donor worked.

It was not that she didn't want to call someone or go home, she couldn't. And she secretly wanted Taeyeon to be the one to find her because she knew Siwon would go to Sooyoung for help and her friend would call every single one of them. So she waited and waited until the sky turned dark. Still no sight of any of her friends nor Taeyeon. Did Taeyeon not care about her anymore?

She was so close to losing hope and wanted to walk to somewhere where she could make a phone call to get one of her friends to fetch her. But she waited anyway. And finally Taeyeon arrived like her knight in shining armor. The only person she didn't mind seeing, the only person she could cry freely infront of.

---

Taeyeon felt her heart ache and she reached out for Tiffany's hand and held it tight. Ignoring the flutter in her heart, she gave it a firm squeeze to let her know she'd be here with her and she's not leaving.

Tiffany lost it when she felt the small gesture. All the pent up emotions were released as tears flowed down her cheeks. Her shoulder started shaking due to the intensity of her cries as she sobbed hard.

Taeyeon pulled the crying girl into her arms and hugged her, patting her back ever so lightly to soothe her. She couldn't hear anything but the cries and sniffing from Tiffany. She was somehow glad they were in a park and not somewhere else.

"Hey, breathe. Remember to breathe. Take it easy," Taeyeon whispered into Tiffany's ears as she rubbed the girl's back gently. She wasn't going to get Tiffany to stop crying. She wanted her to cry, to let out all her frustrations, her disappointment, everything. She once promised she'd be there no matter what, and she was one to keep her promises.

"Let it all out. I'll be here for you," Taeyeon reassured as she kissed Tiffany’s temple. Tiffany's tears were wetting her shirt but she couldn't care less. All that mattered was Tiffany.

---

I know many couples out there tries very hard to get pregnant but they can't so egg/ donor was one of their options on top of IVF, IUI and adoption. When there's a will, there's a way. If you wanted kids very badly, you will have kids. There are a lot of options, treatments and all out there. Through an egg donor's egg, the birth mother's DNA won't not be found in the child. But many still loved the kids like their own. Afterall, carrying a fetus to full term takes a lot of work and determination, and one has to be really careful of the things she does or eat.

Not sure if you've seen this coming, but yes I made it a little dramatic. I hope I didn't make Siwon seem like a douchebag all of a sudden. (Surprise?)

Comments are appreciated. Let me know what you feel/think. Too fast? Too unrealistic? Too emotionless? Too boring? Too expected? Not what you expected (in a bad way)? Criticisms are welcome too, if you feel like. No hard feelings.

-E