CHAPTER 30. BREATHE

I'm being calm and cool

But believe me, you

It’s taking everything to just

Breathe…

~breathe slow (alesha dixon)

She incessantly shifted on her seat praying that he would come soon since she needed to go to school later that night. It was a Friday night and the staff has decided to finally give the new Director a well-deserved welcome party. It has been like a tradition for their Department to give that informal dinner to anybody celebrating a birthday or a farewell party. As for a new comer, it will be a welcome celebration.

Seo Hyun decided to just wear her simple sleeveless gray tunic dress with a black tank top underneath for it was pretty low-necked. And because she would be reporting to class, she wore a very light make-up despite the time and tied her hair in an unassuming ponytail since she was not in the mood to let it loose for him. The group almost dominated the lower floor of the restaurant since the upper floors have been reserved for the night as well. They decided not to go to any other place because they love the food and the funky ambiance. As usual, the labeled clowns of the group have been entertaining everybody with their antics and funny stories and one of them was her Hyo Yeon Unnie seated beside her. She checked her phone again and placed it back when Minho hasn't answered yet.

Moments later, the group was shushed when the man they were waiting for walked in, commanding attention to himself. Yong Hwa arrived sporting a dark blue dress shirt tucked under his black pants with his hair fixed with that semi-spiked style. Seo Hyun had to stop breathing for a while and unconsciously fanned herself as her eyes got fixated on him. The moment he walked into that room, she just could not help but to try and maintain her cool despite almost feeling enchanted. He looked very suave and manly that the other female employees were knowingly swooning as he took his place just across her. She smiled but he never looked at her. It was better that way.

Seo Hyun reminded herself that that was all she could do-- admire him from a distance since he didn't belong to her anymore. But to someone else.

As everybody started to get settled, she remained quiet and only intermittently smiling whenever anyone would meet her eyes. They started eating and telling stories as Yong Hwa seemed to be his old self peeling off his stiff and bossy personality and revealed this friendly and outgoing guy. He was sharing his own experiences during his stay in the US that made her glued to it since it was like he was telling that story only for her.

“I have a question, Director,” Se Min, one of the staff, chimed in with her giggly voice, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Everybody laughed but that question made her look up only to meet his eyes. Then he withdrew with this playful glint and took a sip of his wine before clearing his throat, “Well... I really can't disclose such very private information.”

There were giggles and protests but the girl who questioned made a follow up, “Oh, the Director is such a private person! Why don't you tell us about your first Korean girlfriend then.”

Her heart sank and she could almost feel some palpitations as she grabbed her glass and gulped its content. She could tell that he had his eyes on her again. The glass remained on her lips as if she was taking her time to savor the liquid entering for she didn't know where else to put her attention after that question.

“Maybe Ms. Seo could answer that.”

She almost choked on her juice as silence suddenly clouded the group. She had everybody's attention as Hyo Yeon elbowed her gently. Clasping the cold glass in between her hands, she opened and try to make up something, “I--”

“Well, we have known each other years back. Right, Ju Hyun-ssi?”

“Ahhh... de...” she nodded then placed the glass on the table and gave this forced smile. Seo Hyun remained tensed on her seat as she soothed her hands on her legs, forcing the fabric to move up and down but she was not paying too much attention to it.

“So you know each other back then?”

“Ya, Ju Hyun-ssi, why didn't you tell us?”

Questions after questions left her breathless that she could hardly say a thing but she managed to stop looking down on her lap. Seo Hyun peered at him as if asking for help or begging to just stop whatever he was doing. She never liked that kind of attention. But Yong Hwa was wearing that snicker on his lips that meant he was not yet done with her.

“Well, we have known each other long, long ago that she almost became my sister...”

Another silence invaded the air. She fidgeted on her seat as she seemed to be hyperventilating. He was really torturing her. Was it not enough for him? She wanted to run and escape but she could hardly see any exit.

“It's a long and complicated story anyhow,” Yong Hwa smiled and took a bite of his lamb chops. He lifted a glass of water and took a quick sip while peering at her from the corner of his eyes before continuing, “Anyway, she is a good friend of my nuna and they basically treat each other like sisters so yeah, that qualifies her to almost becoming my sister.”

“Ahhhh...”

“So it was like that...”

“Why didn't you say so soon?”

She took a deep breath as she looked at him with gratitude but he just averted his gaze from behind her shoulder. What he said lessened the tensed atmosphere and the gang started talking about something else. She ate her food in silence and wished for Minho to arrive and steal her away from that place. Minutes later, her prayers were answered when he sent her message that he was on his way.

Heaving a sigh of relief, she cleared and whispered to Hyo, “Unnie, I will be leaving in a few minutes.”

“What? You're going already?”

Hyo Yeon asked loud enough for everybody to hear so once again all eyes were on her so she smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I have a class at 8:30.”

“That's late.” Yong Hwa said nonchalantly without leaving his gaze off his food.

“Uhm, yeah. I just skipped my first two classes, but I have an oral exam for this one...” she unconsciously moved her head to the side as if flipping her tied hair. It has become a habit already.

“Well, it can't be helped then,” he said again then looked at her noticing that familiar peculiarity, “You just grab a taxi since it's safer than taking the bus.”

“Oh you don't have to worry about that, Director,” Mrs. Park piped in with that wide grin, “Ju Hyun-ssi here has her personal driver.”

“Really?” Another one asked.

“Yeah! That cute guy who would always pick her up!”

“Oh my god! The pretty guy I saw by the parking lot the last time? He is your boyfriend?”

Seo Hyun could not really tell who were talking since most of them were talking at the same time. They have been teasing her about that for a long time now but she would just put them off and she did not expect that they would open it up this time. She looked at him just to see how he would react but there was nothing on his face as he gulped his drink, so he was not affected at all.

Silly of her to think that he would be.

“So, is he your boyfriend already? Are you sure your oral exam is for your class or for something else?” It was Hyo Yeon who jokingly asked as the others chuckled but she just shook her head furrowing her brows. She took a bite as an excuse not to say anything but the others were complaining and teasing her like they always do so she shook her head again.

“Oh come on! You don't need to be shy about it if he is your boyfriend. Besides, he is smart and very handsome!”

“Yeah, Ju Hyun, if you don't like him, just give him to me!”

Laughter erupted once again so she just gave a forced smile, “Aigoo... why do I always end up being bullied?”

“Because you are so elusive!” Hyo Yeon playfully hit her arm.

“Aniyo…” she sheepishly said in an undertone. Just then, her phone rang and the group continued jeering especially when she took her phone out. She just had to smile and roll her eyes amidst the teasing and took Minho’s call with eyes focused on her lap to avoid directly looking at someone on the table. “Hey, hmmm yeah, I’m ready. Okay.”

Seo Hyun deposited her phone back in her bag after that and finally looked up, “I have to go now, my personal driver is here...” she stressed and everybody laughed, except him. Why did she care? Besides, he was the one getting married already. Seo Hyun stood saying her goodbyes and turned to him before leaving her seat, “I'm sorry, Director, for leaving so soon. I hope you enjoy the party we prepared and have fun on your stay. Please take care of all of us. Thank you.”

With that, she walked away without giving them a second glance. Minho entered the restaurant just as she was nearing the door wearing a light blue polo shirt and a khaki pants that he really looked like a college student. She smiled with a big sigh of relief, “Hi... just in time.”

“I am?” He asked with that easy grin taking her bag from her and slinging it to his shoulder.

“Yeah... take me away from here,” she whispered but Minho raised his brow not really hearing what she just said so she shook her head, “Aniya, let's go?”

He nodded then looked at the group's direction and raised his hand a bit with a smile. She did not turn anymore since she knew who he greeted. Seohyun has introduced him to Hyo before.

“Hmmm... the smell makes me hungry again.”

“You wanna grab something to eat first?” She inquired hoping he won't since she could not wait to get out of that place. Thankfully, he shook his head.

“Naaa... I just had dinner.” He smiled and moved to the side to let her walk ahead of him, “Let's go to school! Are you ready for the test?”

“Uh-oh...” she gave him a pretend frown and shook her head, “Not yet!”

Minho patted her shoulder before resting his hand at the small of her back, “That makes the two of us.”

They chatted their way into the car as he helped her with the door and she slipped inside. It was the second time Minho saved her from him. Seo Hyun knew that Minho has always been ready to take her once her heart has been emptied. And by the looks of it, she needed her heart to be that— empty. Maybe she needed to open it for him now. If only she could just do it but it would be unfair putting it that way. He deserves a complete love. Not a spare from someone else. So, she will try. After all, they just need the magic he was talking about. If she could find it with him, then he might be the happiness she was looking for.

~~~

The moment they started talking about the other guy, he could tell that tensed face she was wearing. So she has someone else now, but why did she look so affected with the thought that he was getting married? This guy, he just hoped that he is taking good care of her. At least this person doesn't share the same father with her. He downed his wine as they continued to . She moved on. Eight years is a long time and he must move on too.

She was surveying him again when they were talking about him but he has mastered the art of indifference. The moment her phone rang, Seo Hyun looked at him first before taking the call right in front of him. Was that a gentle smile she was wearing while talking to that person? Yong Hwa snorted to himself. He may get to see this 'boyfriend' they were talking about.

Seo Hyun stood and thanked him with that smile he could not really fathom but all he recognized was that nervousness. She walked off without looking back and the other employees gossiped again when the door opened and this tall guy walked in and smiled at her.

Indeed, he was a pretty boy they were telling about and he even turned to them as Hyo Yeon waved at him. The latter said he was already a lawyer but took another degree that he ended up being classmates with Seo Hyun. They stood there a couple of seconds and she seemed to giggle at something that he said. He poured another glass and took it in one go, he was feeling weird like he wanted to punch someone. Maybe he should stop drinking or else he's really going to do just that especially when he affectionately touched her by the shoulder.

His smart-mouthing awhile back was backfiring real quickly as the punk rested his hand comfortably on her back and she did not even stop him but instead allowed herself to be led out of the restaurant. Yong Hwa followed them with his gaze as he opened the door for her and she looked like she was happy. Yes, this guy must be really smart to make her laugh like that. As an old acquaintance of Seo Hyun, he should be happy for her but he could not find in him to do that.

Yong Hwa lingered on to the scene until the car was no longer in sight.

Truth be told, he was tormenting her with those things he had been saying a while ago. Those really tortured her and he must congratulate himself. But, truth be told too, that he was torturing himself with those things he has been putting her up to. It wasn't really for her, but it was for him as well. It was like testing himself if he would no longer be affected by her. And he really proved that sad fact, that whatever he does, she would always affect him. There was no way he could ever go against his feelings.

The wall has this big crack now. Once again, she did it. Seo Hyun was starting to tear down his defenses.

In the end, she might succeed without her knowing it.

~~~

She was checking the book but dividing her attention on that little boy curled like a little ball on the couch. Yoona has tried to sleep the same way there but she always got body ache on the process. Nonetheless, her little boyfriend looked too comfortable on that position. Smiling to herself, she tapped the pencil on the table when her phone rang. She answered it quickly without checking who was calling just to avoid waking him up.

“Yoboseyo?” She started making her voice softer.

“Hey...”

She doesn't need to ask who it was for she memorized that voice since she entered middle school, “Oppa, this is a surprise. Are you in Korea?”

“No, in Bangkok.”

“Ahhh... how's the kids? Vicky?”

“They're all fine...”

“They're all fine,” she said trying to mimic his lifeless tone, “How about you? Well, yeah, since you called...” she answered herself. Usually, when he was having some problem with work or at home, he would call her. Not that she was complaining but it was something she was not too comfortable about. Maybe he got too used to it since he has been doing that ever since. But now it was different.

“I'm sorry... maybe I shouldn't call, I--”

“Oppa, Oppa! No... It’s not what I meant.” She raised her free hand and massaged her temple, “I'm sorry...”

“It's okay, I understand. You may be getting tired of me.”

“It'