CHAPTER 18

Even if I get poisoned and pricked
My love for you can't stop
I will wait for you until forever
I will endure even if it hurts and hurts
- It's okay even if it hurts (Seo Hyun, SNSD)

Unkempt hair, half-swollen eyes, pinkish nose, pale cheeks and chapped lips. That was the sluggish girl staring back at her on the mirror. She forced a smile but her eyes gave her away. She stomped softly after shutting her eyes on her attempt to look fine. 

Shower. She needed to shower. Maybe it could help.

Seo Hyun walked in the bathroom and started peeling the fabrics off her body. The tepid water welcomed her bare being when she stepped inside. She should not cry again. Please... She begged trying to concentrate on the task at hand. It was a struggle to keep her eyes open since closing them would only let her mind paint another picture of him.

She knew that she could not just walk away nor disappear no matter how much she wanted to. How could she go on living with him now knowing that he may be one of the reasons why she became fatherless for so many years? Eventually, her mom would know about Yong Hwa's relationship with him and she could not imagine how she would react.

She doesn't want to complicate things further and ending it the soonest possible time would save them all from the burden. It would surely hurt her mom if she would know and it would definitely hurt him if the truth would be thrown to his face. No matter how painful it was for Seo Hyun, she doesn't want to taint the way he looked up to his stepfather. It would hurt him no matter what, the way she was hurting. 

Telling him the truth was far from her plan. All that occupied her mind at the moment was breaking up with him. The simplest way the better. How would she do that was still another problem. All she could think of was to spend one last day with Yong Hwa. One last day with the first man who made her feel that she was also capable of loving that way. One last day, no matter how part of her battled that maybe... just maybe, they could work things out without the separation.

But, it was simply impossible.

One last day with him.

Shoving those thoughts at the back of her mind, she stared at the mirror the moment she emerged from the bathroom. She blow-dried her hair as she sat in front of the vanity. She has her mom's eyes, people would comment and she would be happy. But others who were blunt enough would tell her that she was looking more like her father now. 

The man at the restaurant was no different from the man on her past, only those visible signs of age would suggest otherwise. Maybe that was one thing that has drawn Yong Hwa to her. She sneered with those thoughts feeling the anger all over again.

He was really funny-- that man on the restaurant. Maybe he has really forgotten about her existence so he did not recognize her at all. Did he ever try to look for them? Maybe not, Korea is not a big place for someone determined so it is impossible if he really did look.

“Ha...” she hissed to herself. So he really did not. What did she expect? Besides, he has an instant son and an instant daughter to replace her. It was not even a bonus, she knew that her dad has always wanted to have a son before that was why he cajoled her into playing baseball and all the other sports boys would usually play. Those thoughts were making her hate him more.

“Happy thoughts, Seo Hyun!” She declared out loud as she fumbled for her face powder and lip gloss and continued chanting as she painted herself with those happy lies, “Chocolates and ice cream, pink cotton candies, weekends, books and more books, chocolate cake, Yoona and Jin Woon, Keroro and Jack Sparrow--” she stopped and stared deep in her reflection, “... goguma latte...”

~~~

Yong arrived at the park earlier than the time she said. Maybe he was really excited since he hasn't seen her for a day. He knew that he was actually overreacting but something was making him feel uncomfortable but could not really gauge where that feeling was coming from. Perhaps, it was when she ignored his calls and messages since it was not a normal thing for her. Her dismal voice the last night was also adding up to his curiosity and it was so obvious that she was crying in the middle of their conversation. With those thoughts, he became more anxious to see her.

Leaning his bike on the tree trunk, he decided to sit down for awhile but did otherwise when he saw her from a distance. He smiled to himself feeling the warmth pride of seeing her bike her way to him. It seemed only yesterday that he taught her to do that. He smiled stupidly like a dad watching his daughter finally learn to bike. Seo Hyun was indeed a good student-- a genius, he would always say.

Raising a hand, he waved at her and mulled over those sullen expression despite the smile she was giving him. Then she carefully dismounted and walked the remaining short distance from where he was standing. She was wearing a white sundress with her hair flowing gently with the easy breeze. 

Seo Hyun got off her bike and just walked towards the man waiting for her at the end of the trail. He was wearing his usual gentle smile and she stopped a bit to concentrate. “Hi...” she spoke softly with a smile trying to appear eager.

“Hey...” Yong Hwa brushed his hands together as he walked to meet her halfway. He took her bike and let it rest beside his before moving towards Seo Hyun. He cupped her cheeks with his cool hands and lifted her face up, “Silly, I miss you...”

She smiled as she hesitated for a moment before putting her own hands on his waist and welcomed his soft kiss. Her heart was elated to see him but part of it was ready to break apart. “It's only for a day that you did not see me,” she playfully raised her brows when their lips parted and flipped her hair on the side.

“Ya... haven't you heard that a day has twenty four hours? And twenty four hours has 1,440 minutes and--”

Seo Hyun tiptoed and planted another kiss on his lips to shut him up then whispered as she stood back on her feet, “I miss you, too...”

Yong Hwa was caught off guard again by another boldness but scolded himself to just be happy about it. “So, what's our plan for today, President?” he grinned pulling her back in a tight embrace and resting his lips on the crown of her head.

“Hmmm... something from the list?” She mumbled while looking up at him.

“Oh, I did not bring my list!”

“It's here...” she smiled putting her forefinger on his chest.

“Oh yeah!” Yong Hwa playfully hit his head then winked. “How can I forget? So, shall we?”

They left their bikes on one of the ajumma tents on the park and decided to walk their way into their favorite ice cream parlor. Although, the sun was scorching hot, they decided to take one of the outside tables with a big umbrella to give them a little comfort. It was the best time of the day to eat ice cream after a quick dinner with the take-out lunchbox food they bought on the way.

Funny but it seemed like her worries faded in the crisp air that she hardly noticed its presence. Maybe she was really good in burying those ugly feelings deep in her system. Or maybe he was just her happy pill. The kind of energy booster that would hide her in her fears and doubts despite the fact that he was actually the one causing them. How would it feel like to go back to her old self? The one she was before that fateful meeting at the radio station or even that one on the winter day where she gave her only protection from the snow to him.

There must be a reason why they were brought to those particular situations together. Like some spell intersecting their lives in that bittersweet crossroads. She was never a believer of destiny before and she was doubting it more now. They both have been tricked. A very, very ugly trick. He was telling her some anecdotes and she would just smile every time he would since she was not really catching up with what he was saying. Seo Hyun was busily creating this folder of him in her mind and making sure she saved every bit of details of his face especially his expressions. She doesn't want to forget any of them.

Yong Hwa was very much his usual self-- teasing and playing with her a lot. The thought clouding his mind was still there especially every time he would catch her looking at him with those solitary eyes. Maybe he has found a way to study her through those pools. She has this amazing pair of hazel eyes that would twinkle amazingly with every expression. There was this kind of spark that would beacon before him that would sometimes leave him ogling at them. Smiling or frowning-- either way, those pools hold his mystery.

She was noticeably quiet most of the time, half-smiling or nodding on whatever he would say. He would even purposely throw some punchlines on her but she would just laugh him off. Perhaps, he has lost his flair and it disappointed him.

After lunch and their ice cream escapade, they went back to the park and stayed by the bench where they wrote their promises before the two hundredth day. Seo Hyun tapped her lap as an invitation for him and he grinned widely taking his place on the bench.

“Hyun, this is making me sleepy,” he complained as she took a book and leafed through it.

“Then go to sleep, I wanna finish this book too,” she simply said ignoring his puppy eyes begging something from her again. She shook her head before bending down and planted a kiss on his nose.

Yong Hwa glared when she straightened and placed a finger on his lips as an act of defiance.

“Fine...” she rolled her eyes bending down again to let her lips touch his but suddenly he placed a hand on her nape to stop her from pulling away until she gave in to his needs. Thankfully, he let her go but held on to her hand that was resting on his stomach and shut his eyes tight with that naughty smile pasted on his lips. She smiled to herself touching his hair on his forehead then ran a finger along his T-zone. 

He is handsome-- her Yong DJ. 

And she was very much in love at the moment.

She looked up when a burst of pain gushed through her heart. She prayed for strength not to break down that time she was holding his hand. Some sun rays found their way despite the thickness of the leaves branching on their tree and they started hurting her eyes so she looked away. Across the distance, an old couple also sat side-by-side on another bench but they were hardly talking-- maybe they were just some random strangers who happened to share the same bench. 

How would it feel to see that day were they would be mere acquaintance meeting in the middle of the street? She could not even picture that scenario. Maybe in another life where their lives wouldn't intertwine in that kind of crazy web. Maybe in another life they would be a total stranger to each other without any connection at all. Maybe then it would all be okay for them to love.

Maybe then...

~~~

Moments later, her bicycle rested under a tree while she rode with him on his. Yong Hwa was whistling while carefully maneuvering along the bike lane on the park and Seo Hyun would bob her head on his tune. Sh