Calls have been pouring since I was discharged from the hospital.  Yet they were people that I found myself not wanting to talk to. Jisung was dead and Chanyeol, for all I know is dead too.

A week has passed and I look at my reflection in the mirror, it terrified me. I have become someone I was barely able to recognize. “Enough is enough.” I say half-heartedly, still grieving over the past.

After getting ready, I force happiness onto myself and plaster the most genuine smile I could concoct onto my face. Though the streets were plagued with cars and accompanied with peoples’ chattering, it felt so quiet. Taking out my journal, I order an ice coffee.

“Hey Anna!” Someone calls out to me, causing me to freeze in place. “Chanyeol?” I say hoping for a miracle. “Jaemin-ah.” I say seeing him walk toward me. Just like that, another devastating blow brings me down. “You haven’t gone to school in forever. Are you alright?” He asks me. Though his voice sounds sincere… my mind and heart will never forget, that our friendship is easily replaced.

“I’m fine. I really have to go now.” I say walking away before he could stop me. To my relief he doesn’t follow me.

“Excuse me, was there a man name Park Chanyeol who was admitted into this hospital?” I ask a nurse. “Who are you to this person?” She asks as she pounds away in the keyboard. “I am his girlfriend.” I say confidently, that the nurse did not bother questioning me again. “He was admitted and was discharged.” She said not disclosing any more details.

My heart began to beat wildly after hearing about Chanyeol’s survival. I bow, grateful and make my way out of the hospital. A real smile played across my face for the first time since waking up from the coma.

Due to my excitement, I bump into someone after exiting the hospital. “I’m so sorry.” I apologize. “No problem.” He says with a smile. The man couldn’t have been more than two years older than me. He was handsome and very tall. “Are you alright?” He asks stretching his hand out to help me off the ground.

“I’m good.” I say nothing could get me down. When I grasp his hand to get up, an electrifying feeling shoots through me. A gasp escapes both of our mouths. “Do I know you?” He asks suddenly. I blink uncontrollably, “No I don’t think so.” I reply stumbling on my words.

Not liking what I was feeling, I try to remember Chanyeol’s face; I couldn’t. Panicked, I run away from the man. “I love Chanyeol. What did that scary guy from the hospital do to my memories?!” I say pacing my apartment. “Who was that good looking guy?? I know him. I think I know him.” I continue to mumble to myself in frustration.

I close my eyes and try to remember what Chanyeol looked like. Shocked, my mind is blank. My heart remembers Chanyeol, but my mind doesn’t.

So many questions were racing through my mind that I couldn’t keep up with it. “What did Chanyeol look like?” I ask myself, begging for an answer to materialize. It wasn’t until now that I realize how my memories have become hazy and almost nonexistent.

Testing myself, I imagine Jisung’s face along with Soomin and my deceased parents. Their faces, like a picture, display perfectly in my mind. “Chanyeol’s gone…” I whisper in sadness. Without our memories, I have nothing left of him.