I just can’t seem to let him go

Should we act like nothing's wrong?

Two months went by and Seung Hyun didn’t seem to react to the words that Soo Yun spoke to him the last time they talked. For Soo Yun this only meant that he had already made a choice, but even though it was obvious, her heart kept on aching at the fact that so many years of a close friendship were coming to an end.

Soo Yun snapped back from her train of thoughts and quickly exited the bus. She was coming home from her internship at the hospital, she was just 2 months away from finishing up her grad school studies, but that discussion she had with Seung Hyun kept on bothering her from time to time.

She began to walk through the middle of the busy city, making her way to the other bus stop to catch her final ride home, but soon her phone began ringing, she didn’t even had to look it up to know who it was,  Dong Young Bae.

“Ne Oppa, what’s up?” she quickly replied.

“Baby girl! Where are you? I feel like is being ages since I last saw you and I feel the sudden urge to kidnap you right now”

“Oppa, I’m coming back from the hospital, I was about to catch the other bus to get back to my place”

“Wait for me at the park that is around the corner of the coffee shop we used to hang, I’m on my way, ok?”

“Ok, I will be waiting”

She hanged up and sighed, truthfully she wasn’t in the mood for hanging with anyone this past few weeks, the hospital and her situation with Seung Hyun were taking its toll on her mood, but she couldn’t say no to Bae.

After a short wait, she spotted Bae’s black SUV, she made her way into the passenger’s seat, but when she opened up the door she was greeted by a big ball of cotton candy, her favorite treat.

“Oppa! Where did you get this?” was all that she could say after getting inside the car.

“Did you really think I will come empty handed to meet my favorite donsaeng? I know those are your favorites and I had the feeling you will be in desperate need of something sweet” he said smiling to her.

“You know me so well is scary, you know that right?”

“Of course I know you, after all the things we have being through do you really think I wouldn’t known you by now?”

“Ok, but where are you taking me, I’m tired as hell”

“It's a surprise, but it will take a small drive to get there, so you can fall sleep if you feel like it” he said to her and she didn’t feel like fighting over that, she simply nodded in agreement and cuddle herself in the seat.

She didn’t felt like asking more questions, she knew that she could blindly trust him, after all he knew everything about her and she knew he will never do anything to hurt her, he was her safe haven from this world.

After a long time, Soo Yun finally woke up and in front of her were green mountains and some fog that was surrounding the car.

“Oppa where are we?” she said looking outside the window trying to make sense of her surroundings.

“Yangpyeong, Gyeonggi-do, wae?” he said with a smirk in his face.

“WHAT? DONG YOUNG BAE WE ARE ALMOST 2HRS AWAY FROM SEOUL!” she snap back at him.

Bae laughed and replied: “I told you I was kidnapping you babo”

“I thought like for coffee or to grab a bite to eat, not to take me to the mountains! What are we going to do here?” she said losing up her pony tail, feeling a pang of a headache coming.

“We are staying over at a friend’s pension, there is a long weekend coming and I thought you will like a break from the craziness from the city, don’t worry we are coming back tomorrow afternoon” he said and shuffled her hair with his free hand. 

“And when you thought of this amazing plan of yours, didn’t you thought that I’m on my scrubs and that I will need, I don’t know, perhaps a change of clothes?”

“Of course it cross my mind and then I remember your stash of clothes at my place, I just grabbed some of those and packed them up, by the way, we really need to get you new underwear” he said grinning at her.

“OPPA MYCHOSO!!!!” she said covering her face with her hands, not before giving him a punch on his left arm.

Bae began laughing at the rant and mini mental breakdown he knew she was having right now.

“I’m kidding, I just grabbed the bag of clothes you have at my place and brought it like it was, I swear I didn’t even took a peak”

“I really need to stop crashing at your place Oppa, you are taking too many liberties” Soo Yun said pouting.

“Again that pout! Besides, look who is talking? Aren’t you the one that crashes at my place once every other week when you are too tired to drag yourself back to your place since mine is closer to your work?”

“Arasso, arasso, lesson learned!” Soo Yun finally said admitting defeat and simply looked out the window, letting the green that was surrounding her, embraced her completely.

After a half an hour they finally arrived to the pension that Bae mentioned and he took out the bags for the both of them and made his way to the reception area. Soo Yun simply followed along, after all this wasn’t the first time she went out on a trip with Bae, he really was becoming her best friend and she never felt any type of distrust regarding his choices.

“Bro you made it, how was the trip? I was afraid you will be caught up with the rain” a man Soo Yun assumed was Young Bae’s friend greeted them at the reception.

“Ok, unluckily my travel companion dose off as soon as she took a seat”

“Yah! I just got off from work, be a little more understanding” Soo Yun replied making him look to her.

“Sorry, this guy doesn’t have manners, I’m Sean and I assume you are Bae’s girlfriend?”

Both of them look to each other and began laughing, this wasn’t the first time someone asked them that question.

“Nice to meet you and sorry to disappoint you, but I’m only this guy’s donsaeng Nam Soo Yun-imnida” she replied with a smile on her face.

“Oh, sorry I misunderstand, is just that Bae isn’t used to bring girls over; only the other idiots come with him often, that’s why I assume otherwise. So are the idiots coming over and you didn’t tell me in advance? I assume Seung Hyun and Jiyong will be over soon isn’t it?” Sean asked them.

Soo Yun cringed at the sound of Seung Hyun’s name, something about the mention of him still hurt her.

“No, sorry hyung, this time is just Yun and me, the guys are busy and besides, this girl has being working like crazy and was in desperate need of a break”

“Arasso, so here are your room keys, the rooms interconnect, well you know the drill, is not like this is your first time here after all” the guy said and left them to go to another couple of customers that approached the counter.

“This way, my lady” Young Bae said taking their bags and walking upstairs.

“Aish, so cheesy is giving me goose bumps” Soo Yun replied laughing and follow Bae’s steps, after some turns they arrived to the room, it was a large one but with two separate bedrooms, but what impress Soo Yun more was the view, just from their window, the Yangpyeong valley was a breath taking scene for her, the sun was already setting and the sun rays were covering everything in yellow and orange shades. 

“Surprised aren’t we? This is a place we like to hang in the summer, but I actually prefer it this time of year, when the winter is approaching and the fog gives the scenery a new shade”

“It is out of this world, so beautiful indeed, thanks Oppa, I really needed this” Yun said, Bae was one of the few people that knew that Yun loved nature and that cloudy days were her favorite.

“Go shower, you look like you need one, I’ll ask hyung to make us something to eat and brought it here, I feel like lazing over in the room tonight, besides I had to work like crazy to get off early today, so I think we both are dying to take a break” he said plumping into the couch.

Soo Yun nodded and grabbed her bag of clothes and marched up to the bathroom, she stripped from her scrubs and decided to soak in the bath tub, she could feel her sore muscles loosing up at the presence of the warm water and peace of mind starting to take over her.

After a good half an hour she decided to finish up and let Bae take a bath, she open up her bag and saw that a plastic bag was inside, she took it out and saw some cute panda pajamas sticking out, she laughed at the sight and quickly put them on.

“Aigoo, so cute!” Bae said and took a picture, he had set himself up waiting for her to come out.

“DONG YOUNG BAE YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!” Soo Yun said but felt too tired to go after him “You better thank God I’m too tired to go after you, but thanks for the pj’s, they are actually quite comfy”

“Ani, thank you, Jiyong owes me 50 000 won, he bet you will never wear them” Bae said to her and before she could said anything, he entered the bathroom.

“This guys, really, always making fun of me” she said, while laying down on the couch.

She was entering into a slumber, when she heard a knock on the door; she got up and saw Sean again, but with a tray of food.

“I can’t stay long, but tell Bae here is your food, just leave the tray in front of the door when you guys are done, I’ll send one of my employees to pick it later” he said placing the food on the coffee table and bowing his head a little bit.

Soo Yun began to lay down the food, waiting for Bae to come out from the bathroom. After a few minutes, he open up the door, only wearing a pair of long pajama pants.

“Oppa, please cover yourself, I know you have a weird disease were you can’t seem to keep a shirt on you, but I am trying to eat here” Soo Yun said at the sight of her shirtless friend.

“Please, like if you haven’t seen it already, I forgot my shirt, give me a minute” he said making his way to his bedroom and coming out with a white wife beater a few minutes later.

Dinner went by and they chatted for a while, about work and meaningless stuff, that was one of the things that Soo Yun loved of spending time with Young Bae, no matter what, he would always make her feel safe, like Seung Hyun did in the past.

After a while, Soo Yun stopped talking and began to blankly stare out the window and inadvertly let out a sigh.

“Out with it Nam Soo Yun, I know something has being bothering you since the last time you talked with hyung, come on, tell Oppa about it” he said getting up from the table and making his way to the couch, patting the seat next to him.

Soo Yun glanced back to him, how could he know? How could he know her so well? For being able to tell something was going on with her, why couldn’t Seung Hyun see that? She got up and made way to the couch.

“It just hurts Bae, I mean I open up to him two months ago, I tried to talked with him, to make him understand why I was acting like I was, but you know what I got from him? Nothing, nada, niente, not a single text, a called, anything.

I mean, just last month that I got sick again, you all went and visit me over to the hospital, Dae and you took turns to come and cook for me and my mom when you know I was weak and she was also under the weather, but he didn’t even bothered to text me to see if I was alive or not.

But then I receive a called from Jen Hee asking how I was doing and I could hear Seung Hyun talking with Na Young on the back, laughing his head off and it hurt me. Why does he have to act like that? Like if the past years of our friendship meant nothing to him? I’m not asking him anything else, but to remember that for me, he is still my friend” Soo Yun finish ranting and found herself crying, soon her tears turned into sobs.

She was broken, she had lost so many people in her life, people that she had trusted so much, Dong Wook, her father and now Seung Hyun, she was tired of life taking away the people she cared the most from her life and that no matter how hard she tried to fight against it, there was no way of stopping it.

Bae opened up his arms and hold her closely against his chest, letting her cry out. He knew she was pushing herself over her boundaries in the last few days, which was why he decided to take her out of Seoul and let her clear her mind and most importantly, her heart.

“I’m angry at myself for caring so much over someone like him, but just hearing his name hurts me, I miss him, I miss my friend so much is tearing me apart. But what it hurts me the most is knowing that he made his choice and my heart is resisting to accept it, to accept the fact that our friendship has come to an end, I just can’t seem to let him go” she said and kept on crying on Bae’s arms.

“Don’t be angry with yourself, is only natural to react like this, I mean, we all thought you guys were perfect for each other. But you said so yourself, you have done everything you could do to try and save up this friendship and hyung is just too blind to see what he is letting go. But don’t hold back, tonight cry all that you need, let it all out, I promise you that from tomorrow, it will begin to hurt less”.

She knew in that moment that Young Bae was right, now that she had admitted out loud that this had come to an end and that the time had come for her to finally let go, despite the memories once share, despite the pain, despite everything, now the time had come to close down this chapter in her life. 

 

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A/N: and in the spirit of my good mood and your lovely comments, BOOM double update this week!!! Here is to you my Bae-Yun shippers... Isn't Bae perfect? Can't I get one just like him for xmas? LOL 
Cant wait to hear your comments, also guys... I am sorry to say this story might come to an end before the year ends, so please prepare your hearts... 
Love you all, new subscribers, commenters, silent readers and my loyal Elleally and creyes1978! 
Until next week, 

~sayurimei
 

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FannyChoi #1
Chapter 22: I came across your story years ago, with my old account. I was so intrigued and shocked to found a good quality fanfics like yours. The sadness, the chemistry and the ending are very realistic. And it’s even more touching that it’s based on your real life story. I too have a similar experience like this and I never gotten the closure that I deserve. But i’ve done my own revenge;) Thank you so much for sharing your story with us and thank you for surviving all the pain , trials & tribulations. No one ever warned us that adulthoods is a very painful journey. I really hope we can be friends in real life as well.
SyicaRayne
#2
wow was really great!
wtrmln_girl
#3
Chapter 38: Read it in one day, I liked it a lot it seems like the typical story from the beginning but no then it gives all but typical.
maryannxx
#4
Chapter 9: Silent readers? HAHA, I'm here ;))
ILovePitbull #5
Chapter 38: i really love it outhor-nim... it really reach my satisfaction that she ended up with yongbae than with seunghyun.. i cried T^T
cassiejon #6
Chapter 38: Thank you authornim, I'm sure your story touched many of your readers' hearts. I wish you good health, good luck and may the year ahead brings you more blessings, peace of mind, joy and happiness. Hope to see your story again in the future. Take care always.
halusiharu #7
Chapter 38: broken heart as ever. </////3


but thankyou for sharing! you're indeed tough dear :) see u on your next story, i hope it will lead to happy ending not just the story but for everyone. have a good time resting! till we meet again on the comment section on ur next story :p lots of love
CKings27 #8
Chapter 38: My Dearest Sayurimei,
Thank you for sharing your story and Welcoming us into your World.
I believe you have NOT help one but MANY w/your personal experience.

As I said it before it takes a person w/COURAGE to put one self out their for all the world to see and read.

You've help those to find solutions to their problems.

Learn to ask for help when needed. Learn to let those in who want to help. Learn when it's ok to let go and say goodbye. Learn to never regret but take it as a lesson learn.

But most IMPOTANTLY Learn to LIVE & NEVER give up on LOVE.
THANK YOU PROUD TO CALL YOU MY FRIEND : )
alyssasarah #9
Chapter 38: A realistic ending. I love the part about friend comes and goes in our lives. So true they will always be part of our memories. SY did the right thing, learning to put herself first and only then true love prevails. Great journey, author-nim. Looking forward to more great work from you.