Chapter 14 - I think i know now - Seungri

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“So Jiyong’s still with you huh?” SeungRi asked, as he sat on the swing set with Jiyong straddling on his lap facig him…one eyebrow raised he pouted at SeungHyun continued to lie. “yeah hyung I’m actually having fun buying a lot of things----“ he sarcastically replied, “I’ll go home any minute—what? Take my time---are you sure----shouldn’t it be my shift to take care of Jiyong no—ouch!” SeungRi clasped his hand on Jiyong’s fingers when the older poked the reddish blue mark with a threatening glare…

“Sorry---“ Jiyong fought of the feeling of laughing but then quickly hugged SeungRi, he’s starting to feel cold.

“ok ok..I get it bye.” SeungRi put down the phone then sighed. “Apparently you’re playing with DaeSung and won’t talk to me right now…”

Jiyong giggled.

“Yah! This is not funny huh! First you pissed me off then now you’re making the other three worried! What are you?  A little kid!?!” SeungRi shouted.

Jiyong lifted his head form SeungRi’s chest “well I am, but the proper term is a toddler---“ Jiyong put out his tongue,  SeungRi pinched his nose cause that’s all he can do.

“NO YOU CAN’T GET AWAY WITH THIS! What were you thinking going on your own and leaving your phone behind!”

“I left my phone---oh..haha..sorry” Jiyong blushed and lowered his head. “It’s because—“

“Because what???” SeungRi rolled his eyes and pulled Jiyong closer.

“I was playing with them but then I heard these girls who said they’re getting tired of me…and then….then you won’t answer my calls---“

“I just gave you a dose of your own medicine hyung.”

“Well I don’t like the feeling!”

“now you know how it to be ignored!” SeungRi felt victorious and was still keen to avoiding Jiyong’s pleading eyes.

“I won’t do that again….”

“Whatever hyung…” SeungRi started massaging his chin. “this really hurt damn it.”

“I’m so sorry maknae!!!” Jiyong wanted to put his hands on the wound but SeungRi stopped him.

“You’re so stubborn hyung! You know you’re in a really hard situation, what the hell came up to you that you went here by yourself! You were lucky that the you got was dumb enough not to swat off the 4x4 off your hand! What if you were attacked by more than one! CAN’T YOU SEE HOW IDIOTIC THAT MOVE WAS! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU! SOMETIMES YOU ARE TOO BRASH IN YOUR DECISIONS YOU DON’T EVEN THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES!—“ SeungRi started to get teary eyed and shaking, it was just then when it hit him that they were THIS close to losing Jiyong.

“BECAUSE I KNOW YOU’LL BE HERE!” Jiyong cried out, sharing the fear with his maknae. “I know that you’ll be sulking here in the park…well more of I took a gamble of seeing you in our spot…in here in this swing or in the yellow slide….”

“Oh by the way…your ugly drawing of SeungHyun’s still there---“ Seungri can’t help but giggled. “He kept me company as I curse the living dead out of you---“

“Really haha….” Jiyong felt slightly better at how random his maknae can be…after a short pause Jiyong stretched his tiny arms and hugged SeungRi, he closed his eyes hoping for Ri to return the hug but it didn’t came. He gave out a sigh and he knows the maknae’s still pissed off of him. “Are you still mad at me Ri?” Jiyong asked, but Ri didn’t reply, but at least the maknae’s heart beat slowed down now and his breathing was not as deep as before… “Ri I’m----I’m really sorry ok, I was---“ …sniff…sniff… “I’m sorry!!! I don’t know what to do anymore I’m a mess---“

“Sshhhh…” SeungRi hugged Jiyong, he felt a thousand more guilt now for making Jiyong’s frail body shake in terror like that… “Stop it….”

“but I said so many mean things to you, I….of all the member in bigbang I should be the one who understands first the stress you’re going through, we’re the closest yet I think we’re really close just because I’m this parasite that eats of you—“

“Parasite? Haha” SeungRi gave Jiyong a perplexed expression but then his heart died in Jiyong’s cuteness as he looks down to be met by Jiyong’s eyes filled with tears. “You’re not one hyung—“

“But I am…I’m a parasite that only have fun when the relationship benefits me…and I’m…I’m such a parasite that gets people tired…I’m----I’m sorry!!” Jiyong finally broke and started wailing.

“AISH DON’T CRY!!!! SHHH JI!!” SeungRi stood up and started bouncing Jiyong up and down to calm him down. “Who told you we’re tired of you?”

“the—the gir---girls…they said they’re tired of me…you too! I know that look! You’re tired of me too huh!”

“aish!” SeungRi wiped Jiyong’s eyes, and hugged him tighter. “I have to admit, dealing with you gets tiring…it’s a big task that sometimes I feel like being close to you is like picking up a stone just to ram against my head. Sometimes I ask why I even bother to stick up with you…and sometimes I know that life will be easier if I just continue with my life and let you be----or worse be like your other friends who gives in on your demand cradling your stupid whims…but I’m not like that hyung, I’m not the type who will not tell you what I think just because I don’t want to burst your bubble so no matter how many times we fight and how many times you make me scream I give up, you should know that’s just an expression…because I’ll never get tired of you hyung. We, bigbang will never get tired of you.” SeungRi felt Jiyong stopped crying and he stopped bouncing the baby up and down.

“Ri, if only I listened to you huh….listened to all of you guys who warned me not to go out that night, or be friends with those jerks who I know have a bad rep of drugs and stuffs---if only—“

“shh, it’s too late for regret now ok? What we can do is move forward….at least now you know that we are just really concerned for you and after all the fights you picked up with me or your decisions that I stood in between with was because I’m genuinely hoping for you to make the right move---just like how the other three too feels.” SeungRi pinched Jiyong’s cheek… “Now please, no more crying cause I don’t want anybody to approach me and tell me I’m mistreating a little kid…by the way, the guys who lost you are Daesung hyung and SeungHyun hyung right?” Jiyong nodded. “wanna poke fun of them?”

“How?” Jiyong asked.

SeungRI dialed his phone, “Hello youngbae hyung----yeah yeah---umm Jiyong hyung is here with me now.”

Jiyong can hear YoungBae ecstatic and relieved voice on the phone.

“Shh.. don’t tell them yet!! Let’s teach them a lesson hehe…I’ll be back a few more minutes---yeah yeah, stall them for a few more minutes, make them be remorseful haha..ok hyung bye!” SeungRi put down the phone.  “So…???”

“you’re mean!” Jiyong laughed.

“well it’s not me who lied and told me that you’re playing with Daesung hyung and doesn’t wanna talk to me.” SeungRi laughed at his own evil plan. “Let them pee in their pants for a while. Hey hyung let’s go shopping in bean pole, SeungHyun hyung said I won a discount just for today!”

SeungRi started walking while Jiyong looked confused and started chuckling…. “What?”

“Ri, I think SeungHyun just wants to distract you….Bean pole doesn’t give discounts like that!” Jiyong gave himself a face slap “I think SeungHyun hyung gave his credit again….”

“Oh.” SeungRi smirked, “well then, it’ll make shopping more interesting now hehe…” he evilly laughed. “By the way hyung, you know I’ll be here huh?”

“I was praying to God you are…we both know that this is our little place to think…and I also asked your friends to shut you out if you ask them to go out with you!” Jiyong blushed in the admission.

“WHAT THE! THAT EXPLAINS WHY EVERYBODY SAID THEIR BUSY!” SeungRi laughed then glared at Jiyong “You evil hyung---“ but then he paused when he saw Jiyong deep in thought and looking at him. “don’t…don’t worry about my chin, this is nothing that make up can’t fix---“

“Maknae, I…I’m scared---“

“for what?”

“When that approached me and won’t leave me along----I got scared---“

“who wouldn’t be! I’ll be scared my off if that also happens to me---good thing you were a fast thinker you are really amazi—“

“I WAS SCARED I WON’T BE SEEING YOU ANYMORE!” Jiyong hugged Ri, catching the younger one off guard. “the thought that came to my head when he started grabbing me on my way here was I need to fight I want to see you---I don’t want to disappear and be away from you with you hating me----I don’t want to lose you makna!!”

SeungRi blushed and felt really touched… “Aish don’t cry again hyung---“

“I can’t help it…I was really scared you hate me….and I—“

~KISS~

Jiyong stopped crying and opened his eyes, surprised to sense SeungRi’s lips dabbed gently on his forehead.

“How many times I told you hyung, no more use for crying on spilled milk…what matters is you’re safe…you’re with me…and we learned that we are not gonna do that stupid stunt again ok? Promise me that—“

“yes..” Jiyong hiccupped… “maknae you promise you won’t get tired of me?”

“I promise---“

“Promise you won’t leave me?”

“I should be the one asking you to promise me that hyung---“ A sense of bitterness was apparent in SeungRi’s face, remembering the numerous times that Jiyong go for his party raving friends and leaving him behind. “It’s sad that you associated yourself with people who knows nothing better than drag you in a mess and left me and the other members to pick up the pieces.”

“I’m sorry---I’m sorry---I know better now---“ Jiyong can’t help but feel really remorseful. Ri lifted his chin and was comforted with a soft smile. “Ri?”

“Don’t say sorry—I told you, we’re doing this…I’m doing this because I love you hyung---“ SeungRi said each word with sincerity,  Jiyong blushed and quickly avoided the maknae’s eyes. “Haha…did I made you feel uncomfortable hyung?”

“not---but ---maknae---“

“hmmm?” SeungRi was oddly walking like a little kid with a funny smirk, he doesn’t know what happened but he just keeps on feeling as if he was suddenly on cloud nine.

“Are you really sure about that marriage thing? I can help you know….i don’t know how but---“

“Do you want me to continue with that???”

“umm—“

“If you’re gonna say any reasoning again with Bigbang rep or my career being on the line I’m not gonna listen everybody have told me that already---“

“No----“ Jiyong pushed back a little to meet SeungRi’s eyes, his lips quiver and finally he wants to be honest… “I---I don’t want you to go through that, cause it is stupid and---I don’t want you to go through that---BECAUSE I JUST DON’T WANT TO! YOU’RE MY MAKNAE AND I DON’T WANT TO SHARE YOU!”

Jiyong stared at Ri, trying his best to read Ri’s reaction, it was a torturous few seconds of pause when finally SeungRi spoke---

“Fine…I won’t go through with it---“

“really?” Jiyong felt his heart ran a million times faster. SeungRi nodded…

“Finally Ji---you made a decision not because of what other people wants or what you think being an idol should do but because you want  it yourself---“ SeungRi smiled… “why do you have to be a little kid to know this things again—ouch Ji stop poking my chin!“

“It really hurts huh…” Jiyong asked and looked at Ri.

“Well you hit me pretty bed and i---“

~KISS~

SeungRi stopped talking a--- “ummm---“ his chin slightly prickling and warm at the touch of Jiyong lips on it, it was not just a peck but a long kiss…

“There…” Ji pulled away “They say kiss makes boo-boos go away right?”

“boo-boo? Hahaha” SeungRi hugged Jiyong tighter.

“I’m a baby now, I have the right to use baby vocabulary you know---“ Jiyong hugged Ri tigher then noticed something, “Ri---your hearts beating too fast you ok?”

“Um yeah!” SeungRi avoids Jiyong’s eyes. “I am….I’m just cold.”

“oh so that’s why…” Jiyong silently leaned again his head against SeungRi’s chest,  then slowly clasped his hand over his heart--- “it beats fast because it’s cold huh---“ Jiyong placed his hand closer to his chest feeling his own heart beating at the same rate is the maknae’s.

It was fast…and slightly hurt his chest but he never felt so calm…he can stay like this forever…

~~~RING….~~~

“Oh youngbae’s calling…” SeungRi reached on his back pocket and noticed Jiyong’s eyes were closed and moving, he smiled at the sight of Jiyong slowly falling asleep—“hello?......REALLY?!...AH..YEAH YEAH! I’LL TELL HIM!”

SeungRi put the phone down and slightly shake Jiyong--- “Hyung---hyung—“

“hmmm….” Jiyong opened his eyes and rubbed them a couple of times to focus on Ri who was smiling from ear to ear… “You look like you won a  jackpot…”

“Not me ….you!”

“why?”

“YoungBae hyung called----two leaves turned amber today---“

“WHAT?!” Jiyong got too excite that Ri nearly dropped him. “WHY..HOW…”

Suddenly Jiyong realized what happened…

He learned how to say sorry properly…meant it….and learned that in life people that cares for you the most are the ones who knows when to put their feet down and tell you when you’re wrong….

“But YoungBae hyung said that the one leaf that kept blinking from the last time was doing at it again---“ SeungRi continued and was also weird out by it. “like it just keeps on blinking---“

“damn…what could that lesson be I can’t figure out….tsk..---“ Jiyong wondered and rested his head again…. “oh we’re cold again Ri—“

“huh?” Ri hugged Jiyong tighter and covered him with his jacket… “cold?”

“yeah cause our heart’s beating too fast again----“ Jiyong yawned then innocently closed his eyes, leaving Ri to stop and blush in silence---

Jiyong….i think  know that lesson you can’t seem to realize now…. SeungRi told himself as he gave a sad smile…

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