21 Untouchable
Complex Simplicity
[Sora's POV]
"Will see you for sure today."
Another tweet from Yoseob which mentioned me. I am quite surprised when I received a mention from him; I never expected him to mention me because I usually knew his tweets were for me.
I guess he just wants to make sure that I will receive his message. Or maybe he wants the world to know that I'm the only one for him.
"Sora," Jonghyun calls me as Yonghwa is locking the door. "Are you ready?"
"Ne," I nod slightly and put back my phone inside of my pocket. I see Yonghwa flashes a smile to me when I walk pass him.
"Have you talked?" he asks me while we are waiting for the lift. The others are discussing about the song they need to perform today.
CN Blue should have a recording for their new album today but the plan changed all of a sudden because there is a small charity event for a new orphanage and Minhyuk's friend is the one who holds the responsibility for the orphanage.
They discussed their schedule with their manager and managed to slip for two hours for the performance. They want to help Minhyuk's friend, hoping that public will help the orphanage from the start line.
"No," I answer him calmly, looking at his eyes. "I wouldn't be thinking clear if I talked with him at midnight. I called him and told him that I'll talk to him today."
"You've told him we changed the schedule, haven't you?" he frowns, holding tight the bag of his guitar. "Do you feel better now?"
"Ne," I nod randomly; I'm not even sure with my own feeling now. When Yonghwa is standing next to me, I feel guilty and ashamed of myself. I fake a smile and say, "Don't worry about me. I will be alright."
The lift opens and I step in with the others. Leaning my back against the wall, I stare at my own hand. I join my hands together and bring my ring finger near to my lips so I can feel my engagement ring with my lips.
"Please," I whisper so no one will hear me. "Let me end everything today."
[Yonghwa's POV]
Sora is setting her camera near the stage while we are doing the last check sound with our own instruments.
"Jonghyun," I call Jonghyun over and he approaches me with questioning look. "Can I ask you a request?"
"What is it?" he asks me casually, knowing that I'm hiding something from him. "Spill it out. We only have least than an hour before the manager picks us."
"Can you let me sing a song after our songs?" I mutter with hope in my heart. "Just a simple song. I'll play the guitar by myself. I promise I'll finish it in five minutes."
He looks at me with serious expression for seconds but then he sighs heavily, "I don't know what happened last night and I don't want to force you to tell me. If there is something happened, you can always talk to me or Minhyuk or Jungshin, okay?"
"I'm all good," I smile sheepishly and let out a small sigh. "I'm going to put an end of misery in my mind. Don't worry."
He crosses his arms together and smiles, "Fine. Five minutes will do. I'll tell Jungshin and Minhyuk. Now let's continue the check sound."
I clench my fist as a silent victory celebration. I owe him one. Seriously.
When I turn around to check my microphone volume, I catch a figure just walks closer to the audiences. He is wearing glasses and black long coat along with a navy knit hat.
The audiences are too busy looking at our preparation, recording us with their video cameras, taking out their phones to tell their friends about this surprise performance... until they don't realize who that is.
It's Yoseob.
He stands at the back row, looking at the stage in silence. With the crowd, I'm sure he doesn't notice that I'm looking at him.
After crying at midnight, I told myself that if I really love Sora, I will never ask her to love me in her desperation. I don't want to give her temporary happiness.
If I'm not the one for her then I must help her to find the one.
Even if we are soulmates... we're never meant to be together.
[Yoseob's POV]
I was really surprised when Sora suddenly called me last night, telling me that she wants to talk with me today. I asked her whether she wanted me to come over right away or not but she refused because she wanted to take a rest.
I guess mentioning her in my tweet gives indeed an impact for her. I never mentioned her before because I know she was going to read mine and I would read hers.
However I don't want to have another misunderstanding between us again. I know every relationship has its own obstacles but it's not like I can't prevent things from becoming worse.
When Yonghwa told me that he loves Sora, I know he's serious. I don't know what happened between them but I don't want to accuse Sora without any explanation.
I started by caring for her as my little sister then I fell in love with her. I asked her to be my girlfriend and then we broke up. I confessed my feeling to her once again and we had another sad broke up before we finally made up again.
Then I proposed her.
I'm not going to let go of her. Not again.
I lean against the wall, waiting for Yonghwa to start his performance. I look at him standing in front of the microphone with his guitar, checking the microphone once again before he starts to sing.
They sing three songs for total and I know it's their last song. Suddenly Jonghyun takes the microphone and announces, "For today, our Yonghwa is going to give you special performance. Let give him applause!"
Special performance?
Yonghwa bows to the audiences and takes a deep breath before speaks to the microphone, "This is a song by Taylor Swift. The title is Untouchable. Enjoy the song."
He uses his fingers to pick the guitar strings in harmony.
"Untouchable like a distant diamond sky
I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why
I'm caught up in you, I'm caught up in you"
I quickly straighten my body when I notice who he is looking at. My eyes search for Sora and I find her in the front row of the audience seat.
Even from this distance, it's obvious that her eyes are locked on Yonghwa. She doesn't lift her camera to take the picture of him though she should do that right now.
The uneasy feeling strikes me once again.
"Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun
And when you're close, I feel like coming undone"
As a singer, I know pretty well how to differentiate someone who sings for audiences with someone who sings for someone special for him. Especially because I've done it before.
Even though the audiences are cheering on him because he looks really perfect with his vocal, Sora stays still with her camera.
I clench my fists, feeling that my heart is aching really bad right now.
Sora is going to talk with me, right? We are going to clear things up today, aren't we?
"In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream
It's like a million little stars spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together
Come on, come on, little taste of heaven"
Yonghwa sings this song for Sora.
[Sora's POV]
The moment Yonghwa starts to play his guitar, my heart skips another beat. The feeling I always have whenever he looks at me with his loving eyes.
Just like what he is doing right now.
Our eyes meet and I don't even bother to take pictures of him with my camera. He plays his guitar beautifully, having a sad but sincere smile on his lips.
"It's half full and I won't wait here all day
I know you're saying that you'd be here anyway
But you're untouchable, burning brighter than the sun
Now that you're close, I feel like coming undone"
Yonghwa doesn't take his eyes away from me. My heart beats really fast now that I can feel that heat rises on my cheeks.
Why is this feeling still lingering within me?
Yonghwa has said that there would be nothing between us. He has assured me that I am meant to be with Yoseob. Then why does my heart feel like this just because of his voice?
"In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream
It's like a million little stars spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together
Come on, come on, oh"
This is only a song, Sora. It's only a song.
Yonghwa will never break his own words. I don't know why I know about it but I just know. Yonghwa will keep his words so I know this song doesn't mean anything for me.
It should be like that, right?
I take a deep breath and finally lift up my camera. After having him in the frame, I click the capture button.
Yonghwa is looking at the camera with a sad smile, singing to the microphone. Now that I return my gaze to look at him, my heart doesn't beat faster.
I feel like I want to cry for no reason.
[Yonghwa's POV]
When Sora finally lifts up her camera, I know she finally has returned to her sense. At first I was really happy to know that she was captivated by my song but then I realized that it's probably not a good sign for Yoseob.
I know they're going to talk after this show and, no matter how much I love Sora, I don't want them to have another misunderstanding.
Yes, I do sing this song for Sora. Because the song reminds me of her. Because she is untouchable for me. Because I'm caught up by her.
"In the middle of the night waking from this dream
I wanna feel you by my side, standing next to me
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together
Come on, come on, little taste of heaven"
Oh, oh, I'm caught up in you
Oh, oh, oh"
I hold back my tears because my heart still aches whenever I remember how close I am to her yet I can't have her. I focus my emotion to the song since it will be the last time I sing for her as a sign of my heart.
"But you're untouchable, burning brighter than the sun
Now that you're close, I feel like coming undone
In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream
It's like a million little stars spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together
Come on, come on, oh
In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream
It's like a million little stars spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together
Come on, come on..."
I return my gaze to Sora who just lowers down her camera.
"...little taste of heaven"
Thank you, Sora, for showing me the taste of heaven even just for a moment.
[Yoseob's POV]
"Fifteen minutes," I hear Yonghwa says to Sora while I'm waiting for her near the back door of the orphanage. "I'll try to make the others stay."
The special performance for the charity event has ended with Yonghwa's solo performance. While CN Blue was thanking the audiences, Sora called my phone and asked me to meet her at the backyard of the orphanage.
Here I am, waiting for her to talk with me. Yonghwa leaves after giving me a slight nod, flashing a smile to me. The uneasy feeling, once again, strikes me.
Sora turns to me and she closes her eyes, taking a really deep breath; she is making me really nervous now.
"Sora, I can explain everything I said last night," I open up the conversation quickly, thinking that I only have fifteen minutes to talk with her before she continues her schedule with CN Blue.
"I know," she answers with her usual monotone. "Yonghwa has told me."
Great. It's good, right?
"Yoseob Oppa...," Sora takes a step closer to me. "Let's put an end of everything today."
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