17 Dilemma
Complex Simplicity
[Yonghwa's POV]
"Something is wrong. Why? What? How?"
It's Sora's last tweet before she met her client. I am waiting for her in my car while she is meeting her client in a restaurant.
I wonder what this tweet refers to. Is it about me?
When she stormed out from her apartment, she looked a little bit confused. I asked her but she didn't give me any explanation. She just walked to the elevator in silence.
At least she still agreed to let me accompany her.
I want to ask her a question yet I don't know how to deliver the words to her. Judging from her respond, I know she doesn't see me as nothing more than a client.
The feeling inside of me has grown deeper towards her. From mere interest, admiration, friendship, and finally... love.
I know it's not right. It's really wrong. Not only I kissed someone who is not my girlfriend, she is my friend's fiancee. As much as I know, she doesn't have any problem with Yoseob too.
In this case I must admit myself that I am the third person who will ruin their relationship.
Suddenly Sora enters the car, taking a seat next to me and then closes the door. She wears her seatbelt without a word and then lets out a heavy sigh.
"That's fast," I say to her, trying to open up a conversation. "Is everything alright?"
"Ne," she answers shortly, not even bothering to look at me. She looks out through the window with expresionless face.
Maybe she is still feeling sleepy.
I wear my seatbelt and start the engine, driving out from the parking lot and head back to our apartment building. She just stares at the scenery outside with unfocused eyes.
Once in a while I try to open up a new conversation, telling her about CN Blue's schedule but she doesn't seem to have any interest to discuss it right now so finally I shut my mouth.
When we almost arrive, the rain falls down from the sky. The coldness strikes and I quickly turn off the air conditioner, knowing that Sora doesn't get along with cold weather.
My car is waiting in the queue because cars are lining up to get into the basement so we can enter the apartment without getting drenched by the rain.
All of a sudden Sora takes off her seatbelt and opens the door, "I'm going first. Thank you for the ride."
"Sora?" I call her name but she closes the door and walks out, heading to the apartment from the main door; she is walking in the middle of the rain.
What is wrong with her?
Fortunately the queue starts to move and I quickly park my car within a minute. I rush to the apartment to find Sora. I decide to wait for her in front of her apartment because I can't find her around the first floor.
I use the emergency stairs, running as fast as possible. When I finally reach our floor, I see her just steps out from the elevator, soaked because of the rain.
"Sora," I grab her wrist and look at her eyes deeply. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she mumbles slowly and takes her hand away from me. She continues to walk again, leaving me dumbfounded with everything.
"Wait, Sora," I walk pass her and stand in front of her, blocking her way. "Are you mad at me?"
"I told you it's nothing," she mutters without looking at me. "I just need to rest."
"Sora, please, tell me if something is wrong," I caress her cheek gently. "It hurts me to see you like this."
She shoves my hand away and closes her ears with both of her hands, "Don't, Yonghwa. Don't say things like that."
"Why?" I frown with disbelief. Why does she suddenly act like this? Does she doubt what I'm feeling for her?
"Sora, I lo-" I want to tell her by words but she quickly interrupts my confession.
"Stop!" she bites her bottom lip. Her voice is wavering because she is holding back her tears. "Yonghwa, there's nothing between us... right?"
Nothing?
"I'm sorry," I force a smile, feeling sadness rushes inside of me. "I know I'm at fault here. You must hate me now for being so daring towards you."
I turn around with broken heart. I've been acting like a fool, right? The kiss means nothing; she just misses Yoseob.
"Yonghwa, it's not like that...," Sora tugs my sleeve, looking at me with pleading eyes. "I just..."
She loosens her hold on my sleeve and drops her gaze, covering her face with both of her hands, "I'm sorry, I-"
Without waiting for her continuation, I pull her hands away from her face and hug her tight, burying my face in her hair. I don't care if my clothes will be wet because of her but she looks really fragile for me now.
"I love you, Sora."
There. I say it.
[Sora's POV]
Yonghwa has been really nice to me, driving me to meet my client, trying to start a conversation with me, but my mind is wandering somewhere else at the time.
I shouldn't be with Yonghwa right now. I have Yoseob.
I keep telling myself that but I can't clear my mind because of Yonghwa's kiss and Yoseob's aggresive affection. My mind is becoming a mess inside.
When the car lines up for turn, I decide that I can't stay any longer with Yonghwa or I will never clear my mind. Ignoring the rain, I walk out from the car and take the elevator, heading back to my apartment.
I have no idea that Yonghwa will catch up with me. When he suddenly stops me, asking me about what's wrong, I can only answer him with short and unclear statement.
How can I tell him what's wrong when I don't even understand what's wrong with myself?
"Sora, please, tell me if something is wrong," Yonghwa reaches out his hand and my cheek. "It hurts me to see you like this."
Feeling his warm touch makes my heart to skip another beat. I quickly step backwards and cover my ears, afraid that I will start to lose my sense again, "Don't, Yonghwa. Don't say things like that."
"Why?" he asks and then there are seconds of silence before he continues. "Sora, I lo-"
"Stop!" I quickly cut his words. I don't want to hear the word of love from Yonghwa because I will be more confused with my own feeling if he say that. "Yonghwa, there's nothing between us... right?"
"I'm sorry," he mumbles and I open my eyes to look at him. He has a sad smile on his face. "I know I'm at fault here. You must hate me now for being so daring towards you."
When he turns and gives his back to me, the guilty feeling strikes me. I know I just break his heart with my words.
"Yonghwa, it's not like that...," I stop him, tugging his sleeve with hesitation. "I just..."
What? I just what?
I stare at the floor and then use my hands to cover my face with embarrasment, "I'm sorry, I-"
I can't finish my words because Yonghwa suddenly pulls me into his hug, giving me the warmth because I'm actually shaking because of coldness.
"I love you, Sora," he confesses to me with a whisper.
My eyes widen in shock. I push him slightly, feeling that my cheeks are burning. I step farther from him until my back meets the wall, "No, Yonghwa, you can't. We can't. I-"
He cups one of my cheeks and locks our lips together with a gentle kiss. He loosens his hold on my face, moving his hand to mine. At first he pins me on the wall, grabbing my wrists but then he intertwines his fingers with mine.
I let down my guard after he continues giving me the gentle kiss, drowning me with his warm touch.
Yoseob's face suddenly flashes in my mind, returning me back to the reality. I hold Yonghwa's shoulders, pushing him with all my power, "Yonghwa, no..."
He stops, giving me time to breathe. He rests his forehead on mine and I can see his flushed pink cheeks as well.
"I know you feel guilty," he mutters softly. "I'll talk with Yoseob. I'll be responsible because I don't want to see you like this. If he forbids me from seeing you then I'll be fine but please don't torture yourself like this again."
Why does he need to be this caring towards me?
"Yonghwa, I-" I want to tell him that no matter how fast my heart beats for him, Yoseob is still the one who has my heart; I can't betray him.
"You must return now," Yonghwa embraces my hand. "You're shaking now. You need to change your clothes. Come on."
Without letting go of my hand, he walks with me until I arrive in front of my apartment. After I take out my keys, he helps me to open the door because my hand is really cold now.
He steps in first, leading me with our hands tied together. He closes the door for me and then we walk to the main room.
"Sora? Yonghwa?" Yoseob speaks out our names. He is sitting alone in the main room of my apartment.
I can see his eyes stop on my hand and Yonghwa's. I try to pull away my hand but Yonghwa embraces me tighter with his eyes stare on Yoseob.
I bite my bottom lip. What should I say to Yoseob? That I'm feeling dilemma because of him and Yonghwa?
Why?
I don't even have a problem with Yoseob. I don't have a single reason to leave him. We are perfectly good.
Is it possible that I stay too close with him that I finally lose my interest? If it's true, I must be the cruelest woman ever.
"Yoseob, I-" I open my mouth to tell him that I need to talk with him about my wavering feeling but he quickly cuts off my words with an awkward smile.
"I know. It's alright," Yoseob rubs the back of his neck. "I won't be mad at you, Sora."
"Eh?" I blink in confusion. He knows what I'm going to talk about? "Are you sure you know what I want to talk about?"
"Ne," Yoseob nods slightly, still having an awkward smile. "Yonghwa is a nice guy so... Well, I'm alright with it."
What?
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