10 Because I Miss You
Complex Simplicity
[Sora's POV]
"I'm sorry, Sora," Yoseob apologizes again through the phone. "There is a recording for the variety show with Bomi and Aeri. I'm so sorry."
"It's alright," I assure him while I put down my camera on the table. "I think I need earlier rest too tonight."
"Are you doing good there?" he asks me as I can hear Doojoon's voice telling him to follow the others. "Don't force yourself, Sora."
"It's alright, really," I answer, taking a seat on my bed. "I just need to get used with CN Blue's schedule. Are you-"
Before I can ask what he is doing, I hear Doojoon calls his name and he cut my words quickly, "I'm sorry, Sora, I'll call you again. I need to attend a meeting now. I'll call you again tonight, okay?"
He closes the conversation even before I bid him goodbye. No, I'm not mad at him. I know he is in the middle of his schedule and I'm happy that he managed to call me despite his busy schedule.
I know his schedule since I'm still assigned to take pictures of BEAST's performances as long as the schedule doesn't clash with CN Blue's schedule; let's say CN Blue is my priority for now.
I even will go to Japan with them on Valentine Day. Now, this one, I haven't told Yoseob yet. I asked him whether he could come to dinner tonight but looks like it's not the good time for him.
It's been a week since I started to work for CN Blue. Since each of them has different schedule on different days, I divide my schedule to take pictures of them somehow. Mostly Yonghwa is the busiest of all members so I spend most times with him.
Lately I watched him filming the scenes for his new drama and I can understand why his fans adore him; he is a great singer, amazing guitarist, talented actor, and photogenic model.
Despite the fact that he represents the emotional side in his band, I found that he is actually shy around girls but he managed to be an easy going person since he can't avoid to work with girls.
After I took a shower, I decide to store all pictures I had today to my notebook, dividing them one by one. I also check my website and e-mail to find new offers from clients.
When I finish all the tasks, it's already 8 PM. I think it's the best thing to make myself busy if I feel lonely. I don't even remember to have a dinner.
I miss to have dinner with BEAST.
I shut down my notebook and take my black jacket along with my camera, stepping out from my room. For a moment I think about having something to eat but I turn my feet, heading to the rooftop.
I sit on one of the patios, looking at the night sky. It feels different yet I can see the stars clearer from here.
When I hear the sound of the opened door, I immediately turn around.
[Yonghwa's POV]
As soon as I finish the dinner with the others, I grab my jacket and head out from our apartment with my guitar.
"Yah, where are you going?" Jungshin asks me while he is washing the dishes. "Why don't you help us with dishes first?"
"Practicing for the drama soundtrack," I answer, wearing my shoes quickly. "Will be right back."
Without waiting for their answer, I close the door behind me and walk to the elevator. I am planning to practice my solo song for my drama on the rooftop.
It's not that I visit rooftop often but I like the scenery at night from there. Once in a while I will stand alone in the night, doing nothing, just to admire the starry sky.
My eyes find a girl is sitting on a patio alone when I open the door to the rooftop. She turns around to see me and my eyes widen in surprise, "Sora?"
She nods slightly to me while I approach her. I sit next to her and put my guitar next to me, "What are you doing here?"
I notice that she also brings her camera with her. Looks like she walks anywhere with her camera. I wonder if she just spends her spare times to take pictures up here.
"Nothing," she answers simply. "I used to spend my times on rooftop at my old apartment. The sky is clear tonight."
She turns to me and tilts her head, "How about you?"
"Thinking of practicing a song for my drama," I point my guitar with my thumb. "This place is quiet so I love to spend times at night here."
Sora suddenly asks me a request, "Can you stand in the middle of there? Just for a minute."
I frown but I follow her words. I stand up and walk to the center of the rooftop. I gaze at the night sky and smile because of the beautiful stars. The view is more beautiful from here.
When I turn around, I see Sora is smiling, looking at her camera. I have a feeling she just took a picture of me so I step closer to her and bow to take a glance of the picture, "Did you just take a picture of me secretly again?"
"Ne," she answers with a sweet smile. She looks up to face me, "You loo-"
She immediately stops her words because our faces are only inches away. I straighten my body and she pulls back, blushing obviously.
I fake a cough and take a seat again next to her, grabbing my guitar. I think about a conversation to break the awkward silence between us, "Do you listen to CN Blue's songs often, Sora?"
"Sometimes," she answers without changing her tone. "I prefer ballad songs though."
"Ballad," I murmur and an idea crosses my mind. Since she has been a really good friend who accompanied me these days, I think it will be good if I let her listen to a song by myself. "Have you listened to my solo song before?"
She shakes her head, making me feel disappointed a bit but glad because it means this will be her first time to listen this song.
"I sang a ballad song for my drama around one year ago. Do you want to listen to it?" I smile to her.
[Sora's POV]
My photographer instinct tells me that Yonghwa will totally look dazzling under the night sky. Just like what I thought, when I take the picture of him smiling and gazing at the starry sky, I feel really satisfied. I guess I find he is a really interesting object for me.
When our eyes meet while our faces are only inches away, I quickly pull away, hiding my blushed cheeks. I don't understand why I feel this way towards him; the feeling that I once felt when I was with Yoseob during my first year work with BEAST.
I'm glad Yonghwa tries to break the silence but I'm surprised to hear that he wants to sing a song for me. Being a music lover, I can't deny myself that I want to hear him singing a ballad song.
"Ne," I nod and a grin appears on his face. I examine him as he checks his guitar before playing the melodies beautifully.
"Neul ttokgateun haneure neul gateun haru
Geudaega eomneun geot malgoneun dallajin ge eomneunde
Nan utgoman sipeunde da ijeun deusi
Amuil anindeut geureoke useumyeon salgopeunde
Always under the exactly same sky and always the same day
Other than you are not being here, there's nothing different at all
I just want to smile, want to forget everything
Just like absolutely nothing has happened, smiling to live my days
I thought his voice is only suitable in a band performance... but looks like I was wrong. He has different type of voice compared to Yoseob but his voice is beautiful as well for a ballad song.
"Geuriwo geuriwoseo
Geudaega geuriwoseo
Maeil nan honjaseoman
Geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo
Bogopa bogopaseo
Geudaega bogopaseo
Ije nan seupgwancheoreom
Geudae ireumman bureuneyo
Oneuldo"
Longing for you, I am longing for you
Because I am longing for you
Everyday, all by myself
Calling and calling you
Missing you, I am missing you
Because I am missing you
Now it's like I have a habit
Keep calling out your name
Even today
I cover my mouth with my hand slowly. I don't know why but I feel that my heart is wavering because of his singing. He puts his emotion really well in his voice.
"Nan bonaenjul aratjyo da namgimeobsi
Anijyo anijyo nan ajik geudaereul mot bonaetjyo"
I thought I'd let go, not leaving anything behind
No, no, now I still can't let you go
I feel my cheeks are blushing slightly; I hope he doesn't notice it. What is happening to me?
"Geuriwo geuriwoseo
Geudaega geuriwoseo
Maeil nan honjaseoman
Geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo
Bogopa bogopaseo
Geudaega bogopaseo
Ije nan seupgwancheoreom
Geudae ireumman bureuneyo
Oneuldo"
Longing for you, I am longing for you
Because I am longing for you
Everyday, all by myself
Calling and calling you
Missing you, I am missing you
Because I am missing you
Now it's like I have a habit
Keep calling out your name
Even today
[Yonghwa's POV]
This is a sad song. I try to put the sad emotion through every word, giving my best to show to Sora. Even though it's only a girl, she is still the one who watches my performance so I want to show my best performance.
Sora is a shy girl and I think I'm the one who is the closest to her among my group. There is this comfortable feeling whenever she smiles to me and I want to make her feel comfortable around us as well.
So at least with this song, I want her to know that we welcome her, not only as a partner to work, but also as a friend.
"Haruharuga jugeul geotman gateunde
Eotteoke haeya haeyo"
Every day it feels like I'm gonna die
What should I do?
Good, I manage to hit the high notes perfectly. I was afraid I have forgot that part somehow.
"Saranghae saranghaeyo
Geudaereul saranghaeyo
Maljocha motagoseo
Geudaereul geureoke bonaenneyo
Mianhae mianhaeyo
Naemari deullinayo
Dwineuseun nae gobaegeul
Geudaen deureul su isseulkkayo"
Love you, I love you
I love you
I had not even spoken the words
I just let you go
Sorry, sorry
Do you hear my words?
My late confession
Can you hear it?
I play the last part of the song slowly and sing the last word,
"Saranghaeyo"
I love you
I sigh in relief, turning to see Sora's reaction. For my surprise, tears are rolling down on her cheeks.
"S-Sora?" I can't hide the panic in my tone. "W-What's wrong?"
"No, it's...," she wipes her tears slowly and then her lips turn into a weak smile, "...beautiful."
My heart skips a beat upon her beautiful smile. I shove away the thought and pat her head, trying to act as a big brother for her, "Thank you. Does it mean you like the song?"
She nods and moves her hair behind her ear, "Ne. I'm sorry that I cried. I don't even know why I cried."
"I'm sure you will cry too if Yoseob sings it," I say honestly.
[Sora's POV]
When he sang the last refrain, my tears were flowing already. When he sang the last word with a sad expression, I couldn't help myself to cry.
He sang it beautifully perfect that I cried because I was touched by his voice.
"My new song will be a ballad too," he tells me. "It's a sad song about soulmate."
He looks at my eyes and a sheepish smile forms on his lips, "It's a song about a man who doesn't have a courage to confess to the woman he likes. He really wants to ask this woman a question."
"What is it?" I ask him since I'm really curious about the continuation.
"Do you realize that we can never be just friends?" Yonghwa mutters the question with a nervous smile. "I hope I can do my best with this song."
I'm lucky that he doesn't know that my heart is beating faster. My heart skipped a beat because of the words he just said. It was a part of the story but I feel really awkward right now.
God, don't let me fall for Yonghwa.
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