XXX

It was almost midnight when Jongin’s car arrived in front of the apartment building. He was half conscious since he was drunk with all of his friends at Suho’s place. Luckily, Jongin was still conscious enough to drive by himself after celebrating his birthday—not that he wanted that, it was his friends plan not his—and he was almost there.

Then he spotted something.

A luxurious car that he acknowledge that belongs to no one but Sehun, parked with engine still on right in front of the building. Jongin stopped his car immediately and decided to wait.

“Why is he around here..” he murmured to himself.

Jongin stared at the car while he wishing Sehun won’t notice he was right behind him. Few minutes passed and there was still no sign of... her. Jongin’s throat suddenly felt dry as memories about her running on his mind. And the scene of this noon made Jongin’s heart became heavy again.

“Wait. You mean.. you’re marrying to that girl?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that changed a lot of things,” Soojung’s voice suddenly changed. “I don't think I have to meet her for now.”

“But you said you want to meet.”

“I change my mind,” Soojung said sharply. Jongin, on the other hand, almost dropped stood up and took off his cap.

“Soojung, I know you are mad, but you have to listen to me.”

“Why should I? Why?”

“Please just let her explain things, and.. I understand if you’re angry to Jongin.”

The moment Myungsoo said his name, Jongin held his breath and Soojung scoffed. “Angry? I’m not angry.”

“You are.”

“No, I’m not, believe me,” this time, Soojung’s voice was calmer than before—which was surprising. Jongin hid his head even lower and played with his phone; trying his best to not make him obvious in front of both Myungsoo and Soojung. “I’m not angry, I am disappointed. That’s different.”

Myungsoo remained silent before he finally said, “Okay, if you don't want to meet her. That’s fine, but at least let him explain to you. I am here as her husband to assure you that there isn't anything going between them, Soojung.”

Jongin frozed. The moment he stalked Myungsoo for the past few days, he didn't know Myungsoo would come to meet Soojung and helped them like this. Jongin thought there was something between Soojung and Myungsoo but... he was wrong.

“Please, Soojung-a, please just listen to your oppa once, please?”

Myungsoo was begging. A Kim Myungsoo literally begged to her. The man who used to steal Son Naeun from him in the past, now begging to Soojung; tried to persuade her give Jongin another chance. That was funny, how time flied so fast and things changed.

“Don't beg me.”

“I will do even it takes forever. Soojung, give him a chance.”

He didn't hear her reply, that made a silence filled the moment for a while. Jongin thought she was about giving in and agreed but then..

“You’re here.”

“What the .” Jongin cursed lowly as soon as he heard a familiar voice suddenly came.

“Sehun,” he heard she called. “You came.”

“Of course! I tried to find you but they said you’re going out for lunch with—wait, who’s this?”

“It’s one of my friend,” Jongin could say she was pleased to see him judging by her tone. “Oppa, I have to go.”

“Please give a thought about things I said earlier, Soojung-ah,” Myungsoo stood up from his place.

Jongin didn't move an inch even when finally Soojung said one last thing before leaving. She said, “You should have known about my feelings before you said that. You may think it was just a misunderstanding but no, it was more than that. So please, don't beg about that to me again.”

Jongin’s focus was coming back to the present as he spotted Soojung walked out of the building with same shirt and skirt she wore earlier. She kept walking to Sehun’s car and finally got in. Without spending any time there, the car finally left.

He was still there, watching everything, how easy Soojung came inside Sehun’s car. He was there back when they were still at restaurant, how easy Soojung walked beside Sehun and let him embraced her with his arm. Jongin was there when Soojung didn't notice him was actually around her.

“Did she forget about me that easily? Did she finally let him to replace me?” his voice was shaking.

Jongin hated crying, but he also hated he himself was the one who made him cry. It was all his fault and he ended up crying for his own stupidness. It didn't take much time for him to drive his car inside the building, though his tears were all over his eyes and about to fall.

It was January 14th, his birthday. A new year that supposed to be happier with her than last year, but no, it wasn't happier. His mistake—that even sorry won’t be enough to fix that—made him feeling lonelier than the last time. He supposed to be happy, but everything now is just a memory.

He walked out of elevator and kept walking with heavy mind, didn't recognize something spotted in front of the door. Jongin finally noticed that box when he was going to entry his password.

He stared at the blue box for a moment then noticed a simple note placed on its top.

“These days are getting colder than last year. Make yourself feels warm.”

When he was finally inside, Jongin dropped his jacket on couch and put the box on table. He sat down without letting off his eyes from the box. Judging by the letters on the note, Jongin recognized whose writing it was. He didn't have to think much to know it was Soojung’s writing.

As much as he hated being far away from her, he couldn’t help but feeling glad she gave this as a gift. This mean she remembered his birthday, didn't she?

He unwrapped the box and found a warm blue sea colored sweater inside the box. It exactly fitted his size while he took it out and put that on his body.

Jongin’s heart suddenly felt warm. He didn't know why, he suddenly felt loved by her. Did this gift mean something? Did Soojung try to give a sign to him, that she finally gives a chance?

Wait, that was impossible. Just few hours ago he saw and heard clearly by himself how Soojung denied to know the truth about him and Naeun. He noticed how Soojung didn't want to know anything about them. She abadoned everyone who tell her the truth.

He felt warm but he felt sad at the same time. It was all his fault, right? No matter how stubborn she is, it was all because of him. He lied to her, he chose to not tell her, he was a coward back then and decided to keep everything by himself for a long time. When she finally found out, she felt like he was a big liar, well, who didn't feel that way?

Jongin was fully understanding if Soojung have trust issue for him now. Because he was the one who create that trust issue on her.

He was the cause, he was at fault, and he knew that by himself.

So, now, could he still blame her for being selfish and stubborn?

“No, I’d be a heartless man if I still blame her for this..” he whispered to himself. Jongin leaned to the sofa and hugged the sweater tightly to find some—perhaps—her scents that left on it. Now that he is missing her, so much.

*

Days has passed and January almost over. Jongin was staring at the window at the corner of his own cafe. He wasn't busy at the moment, and somehow his cafe wasn't crowded like usual. This was a rare moment of him to take a break and enjoy the view of his workplace.

Smells of coffee woke him up from his daydream. The moment he turned his head, Jongin found his eldest sister with her office look and a cup of Americano on her hand.

“Noona,” he called as he stood up. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to—”

“Work, I know. But I have rights to visit my brother, don't I?” Jinah smiled warmly to Jongin and put her bag on the table. Jongin smiled back at her and said, “Yeah, come down, have a sit.”

“I must be very lucky to visit you in your break time, eh? My baby brother doesn't look as busy as he seems.”

“It’s not like that, I’m just sitting for some minutes.”

“Really? You said you’re always busy with Kamong.”

Jongin nodded, “That’s true, I have to do many things. And I believe Noona too, I can see you’re actually take a break in between your works?”

Jinah took a sip of her coffee before placing it right beside her bag. And she leaned her back to chair then crossing her legs casually, “There’s pretty much nothing to do at my office so I decided to visit you. It’s been a while, though, you haven’t go home for the past few months..”

A silent moment came and it was unavoidable. The topic of Jongin rarely visit parents home was so sensitif for him and his family. It was more than just because he is busy, everyone realized about that. Sure, Jongin is busy but so are his sisters. But sometimes, once a week his sisters still managed to visit parents home during weekend.

So why wouldn’t Jongin too?

“I don’t know what to do there, it’s not like they still need me though. Mom and Dad got their maids and still works by themselves so I don't see any reason for me to visit them.”

Jinah stared at her youngest sibling and took a deep sight. “Jongin, you should have known better than this. It was more than just taking care of them or the house, you should be more caring to Mom and Dad..”

He didn't reply, instead his face was staring back at the window.

“If it’s about your age of marriage then you don't have to give much thought of it. I’m sure they will understand if you give them some explanation, maybe you want to know her better before taking more serious step. I don't think they’ll mind about that.”

Jongin rarely shares his thoughts with her sisters. But of course, he told her when he started dating Soojung back then. She was that special even Jongin didn't want his sister to miss this good news. Jongin simply said he found someone new for now, but that’s it. Nothing more detailed, and his sisters didn't ask futhermore.

“Noona,” he slowly said. “There is something you should know.”

“What’s that?”

Jongin turned his head and dared himself to stared at his sister, “It is over now, that’s why I don't want to come home for now.”

“W-what? Jongin, you only dated her for few months! How could it over just like that?”

“It is... complicated, and it’s my fault actually. I’m pretty sure you have talked about her to Mom and promised you all to bring her home in the future. You remember? I told you that night,” Jongin paused.

“But I can't reach your expectation to be a better man so that’s why it’s so messed up already. I tried to get her back, but really, that’s not as easy as being said.”

Jongin lowered his head, “I am really sorry for disappointing you.”

There was once when Jinah saw her brother being brokenhearted man, it was when Naeun left him for herself good. She was mad at Naeun, back then. Calling Naeun as bad woman, for making her brother hurt like that. But only later, she realized that girl actually deserve someone better than her brother.

Jinah herself is a woman, she knew the reason why Naeun finally left him. She thought it would give her brother something to learn, that he should treat every