“No don’t leave, I’m sorry. I am, I’m really sorry. Come back. Please. Come back.”

I begged for the bright figure to stay. It was running away from my grip. I lost balance and fell face down. My chest and arms hit the floor with a loud thud, but there wasn’t pain, just tears.

I struggled to catch my breath, but my heart ached from the sorrow.

Why won’t you stay?

Then some footsteps got closer and closer, it stopped right infront of me. My head jerked up to see an innocent, beautiful face. So bright. She helped me up and I dusted the dirt from my jeans quickly. I extended my hand to grab hers but she flinched and stared at me with a quizzical look.

I frowned and tried to speak but I couldn’t hear my own voice.

“Sorry, but I don’t know you.”

As the sound of her voice disappeared with the breeze, she too vanished and all of a sudden darkness surrounded me, devouring my soul.

RING RING RINGRIIINNNGG RIIINNNGG RIIINNGGG!

My eyes flew open and my whole body broke out in cold sweat. I slapped my forehand lightly and tilt my head to look at the phone docked on my bedside desk.

7:30AM. Too early.

“Hello, do you know what time is it? Speak.” I rubbed my eyes lazily and straighten up for a little quick stretching.

“YA! SEEMED THAT YOU ARE HAVING TOO MUCH FUN WITH YOUR NEW GIRL ISN’T IT? OR YOU’RE SO HAPPY BECAUSE IM FINALLY OVER HER?! SHE’S ALL YOURS! AHH WHATEVER ANYWAY HYUNG WE’RE HAVING BREAKFAST SO COME . DON’T YOU DARE TO BRING THAT WITCH.”

Gongchan hung up after screaming into my ears. My eardrums was still ringing. I stood still, remembering what happened a week ago and waited for the guilt to overwhelm me. 

I'd lost her. This time I really did. She could never be mine.

I splashed cold water on my face. It slapped me awake reminding reality, not a damn dream. But a part of me hoped for it to be a dream and I would wake up looking forward to a new day with her, by my side, giving me support. 

I watched her fell and watched helplessly as her head hit the corner of the railing. My body couldn’t react. It was too sudden. When I finally ran over, she was already unconscious. It was too late. I was too late. 

Her last memory of me…was so unpleasant. She might never want to remember again.

Then again, I stood by her bed hoping that she would wake up and yell at me. But no, she didn’t. In fact, she had forgotten me. Forgotten the memories we shared. I clenched my fist as I watched again, at her face turning pale and pained her deep inside... That hurts as though someone had plunged a knife into my heart.

The memory her physical self had of me, was only pain. I was supposed to protect her but look at what I did to this angel.

“So what happened? Why is she like this?”

“We’re not sure. She might have hit her head a little too hard, even though there is a blood clot in her brain but it shouldn’t have triggered that. Everything is possible. From the looks of it, it seemed she is developing symptoms of Lacunar Amnesia, a selective loss of particular memories. There must be some things that were too unpleasant and her brain chose to forget them to protect her. Do not try to agitate her further, she is very vulnerable in this state.”

“Will she ever recover her memories?” I clenched my fist harder, digging into my palms.

“It depends. It’s hard to say, I wouldn’t give a specific answer.” The doctor patted my back and left, leaving his words replaying mercilessly in my brain. Selective amnesia, me. I caused her pain, it was just natural for her to forget only me. Well and of course Min Hee. What she feared the most happened in front of her very own eyes. It was all a misunderstanding. But I know I don’t have to explain anymore. She doesn’t even remember me for the start.

They were there in the diner already. Ji Hyo and Gary shook their heads when I entered. I could almost hear them sighing. I know right, don’t remind me of my wrongdoings.

Then I saw her. Smiling so brightly, her cheeks painted a rosy scarlet. So full of life and happiness. Have I ever made her smile like this?

I dragged my feet to their table, I couldn’t face the accusing faces from the members. Where and how should I start? I might as well let them continue to hate me.

“Hi!” Ji Hye greeted me cheerfully as though I was a new friend of hers. Have I realise that she had such a nice voice and personality? Why did I let her go? I’m so stupid.

I forced a smile and sat down beside Baro. He stared at me and looked away.

I was a stranger in the wrong seat. The world revolves around Ji Hye.

Wrong. My world revolves around her. Or revolved. Now that she had slipped away from my grip, my world stopped. I was stranded in the middle of nowhere, all alone. Her musical laughter echoed in my ears. How I wished I could hear her laughing once more, just for me.

I sipped on my pathetic glass of water quietly making myself unnoticeable. I was practically invisible though, true enough. My stomach churned and a suppressing feeling filled my throat. I wouldn't let my soft side out here. 

Not infront of her. 

Shinwoo shot me a glance and gestured at the door with a small movement of his index finger. I could tell him.

Maybe I should.