~*~

“Did you know that Hoseok and Taehyung already told each other that they love one another?” Jungkook asked. His head was rested on Seokjin’s lap; the older was playing with his hair, it softly, caressing the scalp, relaxing the younger. He simply hummed. He tilt his head to the side as he continued watching the TV, almost unharmed by Jungkook’s words.

This made Jungkook pout.

“Why don’t you tell me that you love me…?”Jungkook whined, pouting. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, but the other didn’t see. However, he did hear his broken voice and immediately, he looked down at him, eyebrows scrunched up in concern.

“Baby…”Jin began, choosing his words carefully. “Are you in love with me?”

Jungkook’s throat burned. He bit his bottom lip, looking up at him for once. His eyes were now red, tears slowly rolling off his cheeks like a trickle before the storm. Jin’s insides knotted up painfully. He wanted to say something… he just didn’t know how to respond to this. Jungkook still hadn’t technically answered his question and this was giving him nothing to work with.

“Do you love me?” the older began again, this time asking a bit softer.

Jungkook sniffled, hiding his face once more. Only this time, it didn’t feel as comforting to be hidden within Jin’s body—it was almost painful…

“I-I…”Jungkook sniffed, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to hide the tears, to stop them. “I do.”

Seokjin’s heart sank as fast and as painfully as the Titanic. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t have been. He didn’t love the kid back. He didn’t. He wished his feelings would’ve worked faster than this, because by now, he should’ve been head over heels over the younger male but he wasn’t. Of course he wanted to spare his feelings, but he couldn’t lie. If he lied, the younger wouldn’t trust him ever again and things would go worse than they were already. He could tell the truth and risk losing him or he could lie and eventually lose him…

The lack of a response spoke volumes. Jungkook removed his head from the other’s lap, snapping the other from the trance he was in. Jin quickly looked at him; a million emotions flashed over him in a second but he couldn’t show them, any of them, so he just sat there, wishing Jungkook didn’t walk out.

Jungkook chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. He wiped the tears from his face with his sleeve, sniffling. “I don’t know why I do.” Another chuckle. But he still didn’t look at Seokjin, torturing the other painfully. “Now I’m asking myself, ‘Why don’t I love someone who loves me back’? This is pretty stupid, anyway. I don’t know why I just poured my heart out to you. I don’t know why I trusted you from day one with my feelings and I don’t know why I’m pouring my heart out again. It’s worthless. I’m worthless. This whole thing is worthless.”

Jungkook remain silent for a while, giving Jin to opportunity to speak, to say something as strong as what Jungkook had just said to make this situation better; the singer remained seated, just staring, mouth open, as if trying to say something but in reality, it was still silent.

A few more tears escaped the younger’s eyes, despite his attempts of trying to be strong. “I’m sorry for thinking you’d ever love me.” He chuckled, tossing his head back, tears slipping down faster now. “I mean, me, of all people.” He stated as if it were something ridiculous. “I’m still young and naïve. I don’t live up to your expectations. You can’t even kiss me without being gentle. What am I, some kid?” he nearly spat. But then he shook his head, chuckling bitterly again. He got up, wiping his tears once more.

Seokjin’s legs felt weak. Why couldn’t he move? Why couldn’t he stop this from happening? Was he really that weak? Was he really this pathetic? Why couldn’t he stop that amazing guy from walking out? This had to be some sort of nightmare. There was no way reality could be this bitter. There was just no possible way.

Was this how it was supposed to be? Was he supposed to be the weak one who just watched life slip through his fingers? Probably. He was so weak he couldn’t even process the strongest emotion known to man: love.

He couldn’t.

He really wished he could. But he couldn’t. He always wondered why people would waste so much money, so many hours on someone when in the end, they would leave anyway. He wondered why people got married, spent thousands of dollars and then, a few years later, they would get divorced and all those promises would leave as fast as the money did. Jin didn’t feel that love was something good. It wasn’t like the desert at the end of a meal. It was more like that knife. It was painful and it killed you, stealing all your blood like it stole all your strength.

But that felt familiar.

But this wasn’t love.

They didn’t have a word for this; this was more like enjoying spending time with someone so much and missing them too much when they weren’t there. This was more like enjoying someone’s scent, their face, their body because it was beyond amazing, beyond any definition of beautiful. This was more like smiling too much for no reason all the time.

But not love.

“We’re done. You can leave now. I’m sure that you showed up with when you kissed me is still available. She’s more mature, right?” Jungkook spat, tilting his head to the side as if this were a real question he were asking and some bitter, rhetorical piece of crap that spat from his mouth. He crossed his arms, as if waiting for an answer, even when he knew he wasn’t getting it. “You’re free now. Go find someone older than I am. More mature. Someone that you can actually love.”

Jin bit his bottom lip. All that he was feeling right now was pain. Everything else was numb except for the piercing in his heart that scratched his throat and burned his eyes. But he had to gather up some courage, some strength to move. He didn’t know where he would get it; well, he might as well pick it up from the tears that escaped Jungkook’s pretty face, the ones that dyed his cheeks red, made his eyes puffy and made tears roll from those kissable cheeks too fast, too often.

Slowly, painfully slowly, Jin got up, walking over to the other. Jungkook crossed his arms. He felt weak. He wanted to move because he was painfully aware that if he stayed there, any type of contact from the other would have him forgiving him, hugging him, kissing him. This was love. It made you weak for that one soul. This soul, however, broke his heart.

With this in mind, Jungkook forced his heart to stop trying to control his actions and instead stuck with his mind that knew way, way better. When the older reached out to caress his cheek, the younger singer slapped his hand away, turning his head.

The pain wasn’t just in his hand.

“Jungkook,” Jin began. The other shook his head.

“Don’t even try. Stop fighting. Stop trying to tell yourself that I’m what you want because clearly…” his voice cracked. He looked down at the floor, his facial features collapsing just as fast as his heart did. “You d-don’t.”

He couldn’t exactly try and comfort him now. The pain he was feeling was too deep. This idea that Jin wanted someone else, someone older had planted itself into Jungkook’s naïve mind and there was no way just a few words could shake them off. Jin didn’t have a choice. As much as it pained him to do it, he had to.

Jin nodded. “I’m sorry I don’t love you. I’m sorry you’re too young for me.” He didn’t find it in his heart to tell the other he was wrong. “I’m also sorry that I’m going to walk away now. I’m sorry for wasting your time and I’m sorry for leading you on. You’re right, there are other people out there. More mature ones, more experienced ones…” the words, ‘but I don’t want anybody but you’, were too tempting to say, but before he could even try, Jungkook was sobbing again.

The younger shouted at him now. “THEN GO WITH ONE OF THEM!” and just as he finished shouting, he grabbed Jin’s wrist, pulling him out of his shared apartment with V, pulling him out of his life as well.

In a flash, Jin was outside of the door, staring at the wooden material that separated him from possibly the only person who would ever love him, wondering, “Why didn’t I say anything else?”

Meanwhile, Jungkook pulled at his hair, balling his hand and pulling them up to his eyes to try and stop the rain from falling. He slid his back down the door, knees too weak to keep him up. Jin hadn’t left, he could tell because he never saw him leave and he didn’t show any intentions of moving. The fact itself pained the younger more, because this gave him some hope that the other might care about hi. Care led to love and Jungkook couldn’t tease or hurt himself like this.

He couldn’t have Jin because he was unattainable.

He suddenly hated having feelings.

He suddenly hated falling in love with Jin.

~*~

Hoseok and V were in the apartment; it was around six in the afternoon and since Hoseok and Taehyung left work, they left for the apartment. Since the boys hadn’t touched each other in like… two days, they were eager to run into the apartment and get busy, but V heard the sobbing from Jungkook’s room and he immediately ran to comfort his friend. Hoseok had to take a second to sulk before he too followed the younger. He felt sort of out of place because his best friend had just broken up with and he felt as if Jungkook wouldn’t want to see him because… well, it was this weird thing that girls had that they didn’t want to see the ex or the ex’s best friends but Kookie wasn’t a girl (even if he did bottom), but it was more or less the same thing.

Kookie was sobbing into V’s shoulder, mumbling a bunch of nonsense Hoseok only understood half of. It must’ve been this strange best-friend thing because Taehyung would mumble back a few comforting word; clearly he understood everything the other said.

“He’s just being stupid. He’ll come to his senses. You’re a great person, Kookie. Surely Jin would be lucky to have you…” Taehyung purred, rubbing his back.

Hoseok had the sudden urge to defend his friend, but then V glared at him, just as he opened his mouth, and Hoseok shut his mouth instead. It was better than an angry V. it was also better than two best friends beating the living out of him.

Jungkook simply sniffled, hiccupping. His voice was unsteady as he spoke, breath hitching. “H-he’ll never love me. H-he want s-someone older-r than m-me. He thinks I-I’m immature. H-he would n-never want someone as n-naïve as me. H-he was just u-using me b-because I was young-g and inexperienced-d.”

Okay, that was just… so wrong.

Hoseok spoke up this time. Jungkook glared at him as soon as he opened his lips. V was trying to comfort him but Jungkook wanted to hear what the older had to say. “That’s not true. I know Jin better than anybody else. He was crazy about you, even before you two kissed, and way before you two were ‘friends’. In fact. He was drooling over you as soon as you walked into that shop when he was singing.”

V was a bit lost because he wasn’t there, but his features did soften as his lover spoke so honestly, so intensely. Jungkook was blushing, biting his bottom lip. Hoseok took a second to smile at the best friends before he continued talking.

“Trust me, he knew your age, he knew he wanted you and only you, despite your . When Yoongi-hyung asked him about this, he said that he didn’t care because he’d like to teach you so many things. He said he didn’t care about this age difference because he really liked you. I don’t think he cares about it now either. And what’s with this about being naïve? Everybody is naïve. Jin is so strange and naïve too. But he’s smart enough to understand what he’s feeling. And if he doesn’t love you now, he could love you later. I mean, it took me almost two months to see I was in love with V.” he grinned. “But also keep in mind that Jin never believed in love. He grew up with parents that were always fighting and that isn’t a good environment to grow up in. and he might love you—he might just not realize it. He could be in denial because he just doesn’t get it.”

He paused for a second to look the youngest male into his eyes. “But he’s my best friend.” He stated in a stern voice. “And I want you to make sure you know how you feel before you tell Jin anything. You might just really like him. There’s a huge difference between liking being around someone and loving someone. I don’t want you to tell him you love him if you don’t mean it. Then that would mean this fight was for no reason and you two broke up because a mixed emotion.”

Jungkook simply nodded, biting his bottom lip. It took him a while before he answered. “I’m positive that I love him. I may be young, but I’m not stupid. I understand what I feel. I’ve liked people before and I know that it feels way, way different than what I fell for…” he couldn’t even say his name. But before he hurt himself trying to do it, the older rapper simply nodded.

V grinned. “You should talk to him, Kookie. He might feel pressured because you told him you love him and he might want to force himself into feeling it too. That won’t lead to anything good.”

“I get it, I get it,” Jungkook stated, wiping his eyes. “Please, guys, I want to be alone for now.”

V and Hoseok nodded. “We get it,” Taehyung spoke softly. He patted his knee before he held Hoseok’s hand, leading him out of the door.

As soon as they were out, V asked, “How did you know when you loved me?”

It was an easy answer. “I just saw your smile, I recognized that feeling in my chest, and I just knew then.”

~*~

A/N: Sorry for the late update. Sorry for the angst. Sorry for putting it so early in the chapter. I’m sorry they didn’t make up. I’m sorry if you don’t like this one.