[DBSK/JYJ]

Yunho walked into the quiet church, his heavy heart only made heavier by the solumn atmosphere of mourners. The roses beside the open casket were bright red and beautiful, but they didn't do anything to lighten his heart. Sighing, he took a seat at the back of the church. He had been away on a business trip when he had heard of Jonghyun's passing in a plane crash, and he was still in shock. Everything had happened so quickly, and he wished that he could have spoken to him one more time, at least. That might have helped now, when he felt so guilty, even though he knew that he hadn't caused it. That didn't make him feel any better.

He sat in a daze throughout most of the funeral service, but at the end, he paid attention to the family members as they walked to the front and said their final goodbyes. He saw people that he didn't recognize walk to the casket, and it just deepened his depression. Time had passed too quickly, and now he would never have the time to really get to know his former best friend's brother. He saw the second oldest, Seongwon, walk over and stare in. He looked blank, void of all emotion, and Yunho felt as if he was being stabbed in the heart again by the other man's pain. Seongwon had his arm around the youngest, Hyunchul, whom Yunho had gotten to know over the years. Hyunchul looked completely shut down, his expression completely broken. It was so unlike every other time Yunho had seen him, whne he was bright and happy and seemed to adore Yunho. He knew that the Hyunchul had also been very close to his brothers, and Jonghyun's death had torn them all to pieces.

Turning away from the mourning family, he glanced around the room to see where the oldest brother had gone. He hadn't seen Jaejoong in two years, and he wanted to offer comfort to him somehow. He wasn't sure what to say in a time like this, but he knew that he needed at least be with him as a friend.

Shaking his head, he didn't see Jaejoong anywhere in the church. He must have gone outside to be alone for a moment. Yunho didn't rise from his seat, though, in respect of the rest of the family. He would comfort Jaejoong when the time was right. Now it was about Jonghyun, so he rose when they began to sing a song, bidding him goodbye.

A few more moments later, they began to file out of the church, following the pall bearers carrying Jonghyun's casket. Once outside, Yunho noticed Jaejoong sitting in the courtyard, smoking a cigarette and staring at the ground. He felt his heart jump in sorrow at the haunted expression on his friend's face, but he didn't walk over to him. Jaejoong was the type to deal with pain on his own, so he needed this time alone. Yunho turned away from him and followed the rest of the mourners to the graveyard for the burial.

Jaejoong watched Yunho leave, tossing his cigarette into a small box and putting it in his pocket. He wasn't going to disrespect a church by littering, especially at his brother's funeral. He felt a bitter taste in his mouth, his stomach churning once again. He had already thrown up twice that day at the thought of coming to say goodbye to the young musician. Sighing, he closed the box and began his walk to the cemetary. Nothing felt real to him.

That evening after the funeral, Yunho went to his hotel and allowed Jaejoong to have the space he needed. It wasn't easy, since all he wanted to do was walk up to his friend and wrap him in a big hug and tell him everything would be alright. He knew that it really wouldn't. It never would, since Jaejoong's life had changed forever from the death of his brother. All Yunho could do was try to offer comfort, but that was much easier said than done.

The next day, Yunho returned to Jaejoong's family's house to try and talk to his friend. After talking to several of the family members, he found out that Jaejoong had been in the workout room all day. Yunho knew that was the place he and Jonghyun had hung out several times as teenagers, so it was the place that made the most sense to go to think without anyone else around.

He walked to the entrance of the workout room and saw Jaejoong beating the hell out of a punching bag. He seemed to be taking out all of his frustrations out on it, and Yunho was worried that he would lose his mind or just die of exhaustion. When he finally spoke to him, his voice came out weaker than he had intended.

"Jaejoong, can we talk for a moment? You're going to kill yourself with all the exertion," Yunho said, but he regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

Jaejoong stopped punching the bag, turning to Yunho slowly. He was soaked in sweat, and Yunho would have thought that it was a nice sight, if this had been under different circumstances. "Yunho, that might be a good thing, at this point. Do I look like I care about living? I just..." His sentence trailed off, and he shook his head weakly. "This doesn't seem real