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Last night, I stayed with Lay until he calmed down. It was my first time seeing him shed tears, he didn’t break down, tears just flowed down his cheeks. He must have been reminded of something sad, something painful. I didn’t know how to comfort him but I think just staying by his side did help a bit.

It’s the last day in Busan and everyone was packing their stuff and loading it into the cars. We went with the same arrangement as when we came and entered the cars. Everyone looked fresher and had their healthy glow again. They had a great time. As for me, I wouldn’t say that I had a good time since I spend most of my time in the room, refusing to go out. Instead of feeling relaxed, I felt more stressed. The mystery that was thrown at me, was slowly unwrapping itself. Half has been uncovered and it came as a great shock. The more I think about it, the more I didn’t know what to do.

On the way back, there wasn’t much I could do. I just stared out of the window. Something was placed into my ear and I turned to Lay who was holding out his ear piece. I took it and placed it in my ear with no words exchanged. Ever since yesterday, I felt that we had this connection between us. Maybe it’s just me.

Soon I the music began to play.

Aju jageun geosirado

Even if it’s a small thing

Neol himdeulge haji mothage

I want to protect you for always

Hangsang jikigo sipeo I’m eternally love

So you won’t ever have to suffer, I’m eternally love

Neoui suhojaro jeo geosen barameul makgo

As your guardian angel, I will block out that strong wind

Ne pyeoneuro modu da deungeul dollyeodo

Even if everyone turns their back against you

Hime gyeoun eoneu nal ne nunmureul dakka jul

On hard days, I will wipe away your tears

Geureon han saram doel su itdamyeon

If only I can be that kind of person

Eodideun cheongugilteni

Wherever we go, it’ll be heaven

I listened as the songs played. It made me think, what if my real family was with me, would it be different? What if I wasn’t kidnapped, would I have grown up differently or would I have had someone who I could talk to when I have difficulties?

Would my brother have been my guardian angel?

I looked at Xue who was sandwiched between Luhan and Tao. She rested her head on Tao’s shoulder and he turned to look at her before smiling slightly. He took a blanket and placed it over her, making sure that she doesn’t catch a cold. From the front mirror, Xiumin was asleep and Kris was driving. He occasionally shifted his gaze off the road and onto Xue.

Over the past 2 days, he has been opening up to the members and Xue more. He would talk to her nicely and sometimes let her have her way. He was changing and he wasn’t the only one. Xue too is changing. Since the day I was pushed into the water, she stopped being whiny. She stopped insisting that everything has to be her way. She became more lady like and not a child. Her change sure made the other members look out for her more and she became more attractive. I could tell that everyone treated her better and looked out for her. They even helped her voluntarily. Ever since then, I saw Sehun and Jongin lesser. The only time I would see them was when they came to sleep for the night. They were changing too.

I didn’t want to complain. It was only 2 days, they will go back to how they were, right?

I leaned on the window and let out a small sigh. I didn’t want anything to change. And I hope I was right about them.

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“Rin.” I looked up from my book. “Where is that DVD you had? I can’t find it.”

“Which DVD?”

“Ajeossi.”

“Ah, I brought it back home. Why?”

“Oh man, could you go get it?” he pouted.

“Why so sudden? That time I asked you if you wanted to watch it, you had no interest at all.”

“I suddenly want to watch it now. Could you go and get it?”

“Jongin, I leave 2 hours from here. You want me to go back just to get the DVD? I’m still working.”

“You have permission to leave. Go and get it now.” he said in a commanding tone.

“You know you could always find it online.”

“But it will lag. Watching it on the DVD is better.” he explained, feeling frustrated. From the look on his face, I knew that I shouldn’t say anything else. He was about to snap.

“Fine.” I stood up and left my book on the desk. I grabbed my bag and jacket before heading out.

“Will you be back for dinner?” D.O asked as I put on my shoes.

“Yeah.” He nodded and I waved before heading out.

A few hours later, I came in through the door and a delicious scent welcomed me. Holding my jacket, I walked into the kitchen where Baekhyun and Chen were washing the dishes.

“Oh you’re back?” Baekhyun looked at me as he placed the last bowl on the drying rack. I nodded and looked around the kitchen there was nothing left.

“What’s for dinner?”

“We had BBQ beef. Have you had dinner?” he smiled at me as I just stood there. Weren’t they supposed to leave me some food? D.O even asked if I was coming back for dinner I said yes. He always left food for me.

Before I could answer, I was interrupted by a slightly annoyed Jongin and Sehun.

“That took you long enough.” He said a bit rudely. “Where’s the DVD?” he didn’t ask but more like demanded. I was taken aback by his attitude and just took out the DVD from my bag. He snatched it from my hand and walked out of the kitchen leaving me gaping at him. He didn’t even say thank you. I travelled for 2 hours one way just to get that DVD and he said I took long? He should know that I stayed 2 hours from here, making it a total of 4 hours traveling time to and fro. Sehun didn’t say anything and walked out after him.

“So, did you eat?”

“Yeah.” I lied. I wasn’t in the mood to eat anymore. I walked out and headed to my room. On the way I heard something that made me sad.

“Xue noona, I got the DVD for you. You can watch it for as long as you like.” There was a pause. “Actually you can keep it.”

I stopped right in my tracks. He made me travel all the way back home just to get the DVD for Xue and he says that she can keep it? That DVD is mine, I bought it with my own money from my very first pay from the organisation. It had sentimental value and he is just giving it away without asking me?

I know that we are close friends, best friends. But best friends don’t give away your items to other people without asking. That is just wrong. I heard laughter from the room and it hurts. I dragged my feet to my room and was careful not to slam the door. I locked it.

I was wrong.

I thought it was just a 2 day thing but no. Over the past 2 weeks, they changed, all of them. They stopped talking to me like they used to. They stopped hanging out with me when they had time. They hung out with Xue instead.

They were my best friends. Now they were like strangers.

They weren’t the only ones. The others also started caring for her more. Even Kris. He started to talk to her more and got closer to her. Sometimes I would catch him looking at her with a bit of affection. He was falling for her. Seeing him treat her nicely and caring for her behind her back made me a bit jealous. It made me wish that it was me that he was doing those things for. I tried not to watch when he did those things like making sure she gets to eat her favourite food and no one else can touch it. I was hoping it will make me feel better.

It didn’t.

It was the opposite. I felt worse. I was hurt inside but I couldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t have any friends anymore around me. I couldn’t talk to my brothers about it, they wouldn’t know what to do about it. I needed a girlfriend, someone who can comfort me, encourage me and love me for who I am. But she was far away from me. I missed her.

Tears rolled down my cheeks endlessly as I stared out of the window. I didn’t make a sound when I cried. Everything was overwhelming. I wanted all these to stop. I wished she didn’t change. I wished that I didn’t come here in the first place. I wouldn’t have met them and be in such a predicament.

If I haven't met them, I could have led a normal life.

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