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Your POV:

“Come in.” I turn the knob and entered. He looked up from his work and stopped.

“What do you want?” he asked, a little crudely if I must add.

“I’m sorry to disturb you.” I stood in front of his desk. “May I have a day off tomorrow?” he looked at me and snorted.

“What makes you think you deserve a break?” I was taken aback.

“I thought that in the contract, it was stated that I could request for a break.”

“Yes, that was before. Now, it’s a no.” he leaned back against the chair with his arms folded.

“Why?” I was confused.

“Why? You are asking me why?” he raised his eyebrows, looking pissed off.

“You, promised to guard my sister from harm’s way but she got hurt. What makes you think you should have a break? You are not doing your job properly.”

I gapped at him. Wasn’t he being too much? I mean, yes I admit, I did let Xue get hurt but it wasn’t on purpose. And when he meant that I got her hurt, those were just small cuts or abrasions. It’s isn’t easy to watch someone for 24/7, without break or rest. Even those bodyguards’ guarding the president would have breaks.

“I apologise for that incident.” I bowed. “But I would like to have tomorrow off, it need not be the full day. Just a few hours will do.”

“I said no.” he raised his voice a little. “Leave now.” He pointed to the door. I knew that if I said anything else, he will explode. Right now he isn’t even listening to my reasons. I turned and left the room feeling frustrated and torn.

Torn between my responsibility and work.

 

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I woke up at 11AM. I managed to get some sleep of the first time in a while, no dreams, no nightmares, just plain sleep. I stretched my arms as I sat in bed and got off to wash up. I went downstairs and the house was awfully quiet.

‘This is weird, they should be up by now.’ I walked around, there was no one in sight. I went into the kitchen, and saw that the sink was filled with plates and bowls. I went back to the living room when suddenly the main door burst open, and Xiumin and Chen came running in.

“O-oh hey, you’re up early.” Chen stuttered.

“Good morning.” They took off their shoes and rushed up stairs. A few minutes later they came down all changed, they headed to the door and put on their shoes.

“Where are you going?”

“Out, Xue wants to go to the amusement park.”

“Could you wait for me?” Xiumin turned around and looked at me.

“Why?”

“I’m her body guard right? I have to be with her 24/7, according to the contract.”

“It’s okay. The rest of us are with her.” Chen nodded.

“Yeah, all 12 of us. So you are not needed.” They turned and closed the door behind them. I just stood there, facing the door, in an empty house.

“You are not needed.” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, it slowly turned into anger.

I asked for a day off yesterday, he said no. And today I wake up, they are all going to the amusement park because Xue wanted to go? And they didn’t need me? What happened to 24/7?

“So what am I? A housekeeper?” I said loudly but no one heard me. I felt tricked, made used of. I clench my fist and stared at the door. If I had lasers shooting out of my eyes, there would have been a hole by now.

“Looks like you can have your day out as you planned.”

“Qian,” I turned to her. “Should I go? It is important.” She smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I went to my room and got dressed. I packed my bag and threw it over my shoulder before leaving the house.

“Are you following me?” she shook her head.

“I’ll stay here. You need some alone time. Be back by 7:00PM okay?” I nodded and left the house.

 

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I caught the bus and managed to get a seat. It was going to be a long ride. I looked out the window and watch as life goes by. I thought about the times where I was having fun, hanging out with my brothers and my family. I missed those times. After 2 hours, I alighted and walked to a mini mart run by a grandmother. She looked up and saw me enter.

“Rin! Nice to see you, how are you?”

“Hello, it’s been a while. I’m fine, how about you?”

“I’m doing well, it’s that time of the year again isn’t it?” she said softly. “The normal items?” I nodded.

I paid her and left the shop. I walked for 15 minutes before reaching my destination. I walked to the big tree that has been here for a long time.

“It’s that time of the year again.” I looked down at the tombstones placed side by side.

 

Han Se Woo & Park Joo Rin

1978 – 2009

Dearly missed by daughter, Han Se Rin

 

I place the items I bought in front of them before giving them a bow. “How have you been, appa, eomma.”

 

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“I’m staying in a house full of guys, 12 to be exact but don’t worry it’s for work. I’m looking after one of their sister, she-“ I paused. “She is a hand full.”

“The other guys are treating me well. Oh and another good news. I finally meet Jong In. Eomma, do you remember him? The boy who came over to our house and always asked for chicken? I meet him again after all this years.” I smiled.

“He looks the same, just taller and more handsome. He is part of the group called EXO and hi is in the sub group called EXO-K. They are working under YC Group. I didn’t know that Jongin would become an agent.”

“I’ve been working for them for 2 months now, everything is going smoothly.” I said as the wind blew. The trees branches shook in the wind and a branched dropped on my head.

“I guess I can’t keep it from you can I? You can see it all.” I rubbed my head and smiled slightly, the pain inside was building up, slowly eating me alive. “The nightmares have become more often. I go without sleep for days. Do you know why I’m seeing these dreams or memories?” I looked up in the sky.

“I miss you. I wish you were here.” I closed my eyes trying to prevent myself from crying. I promised myself not to cry in front of them. I sat there in the quiet, occasionally talking.

“I better get going.” I said as I stood up. “I need to be back before 7:00PM. I sneaked out.”

“I’ll visit you again. I promise.” With that I turned and left. I was caught in the rain as I neared the house. I entered the pin and I was greeted by loud shouting and laughter. I took off my shoes and placed it one side before walking in drenched.

“Where were you?” I was stopped by none other than my employer.

“I didn’t give you a day off. Where did you go?” I looked up and faced Luhan who was furious. “Answer me.” he raised his voice and the others looked at us.

“I went to run some errands.” I said looking at him.

“What kind?”

“Family related.” I whispered.

“You left the house to run errands for your family?” he spoke louder. “You are supposed to be looking after Xue not going to find your family.”

“Hyung.” Kai said as he walked towards us.

“You guys went to the amusement park. Xiumin and Chen said that there was enough people.”

“This is unacceptable!” he pushed me and I stumbled backwards.

“Hyung!” Kai stood in front of me. “Why did you push her?”

“You don’t come in between this.” He pushed Kai away. “Spill, what did you do?” I tried to control my emotions which were threatening to explode.

“I went to visit my parents.” I said softly. “Since I was going to be alone the whole day, I decided to drop by.”

“During working hours?” I looked at him, frustrations building up inside.

‘Was I even working? They told me I’m not needed.’ I wanted to tell him off so bad. I clenched my fist until they were shaking.

“I’m sorry if it offended you. I’m not in the mood to talk right now.” I said and walked towards the stairs but he grabbed my arm.

“You come bac-“ I shook him off and walked up the stairs. “I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU!” I quickly walked into the room, and closed the door behind me, locking it. I slid down and hugged my knees, a tear slipped out, followed by another and another.

Frustrations. Fear. Anger. Guilt. Fatigue.

The huge weight resting on my shoulders was heavy. I was physically and emotionally drained. If this goes on, I could slip back into depression. I knew that and I didn’t want that to happen again. I needed to let it go.

 

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Kai POV:

“Hyung! How can you do that to her?” I shouted. I was pissed off. How could he treat her like this?

“It’s her fault. She left while working. She didn’t notify me.”

“Working? How was she working? Her work is to protect Xue Hwa noona. But she was with us the whole day because she insisted that everyone followed her. Rin was home alone.” I reasoned with him.

“Yeah, hyung. I heard her asking you for a day off yesterday. You said no. but today, everyone went out, leaving her alone. Aren’t you being a bit unreasonable?”

“Sehun, not you too.” He looked at the younger one.

“It’s not easy for someone to look after another for 24/7. She has been doing that for the past 2 months, she didn’t ask for anything else, just a day off today. And you know Xue Hwa noona isn’t very easy to take care of.”

“Hyung.” Suho spoke. “I think you are being a bit too hard on her. She was caught in the rain and she didn’t look well. Give the girl a break, she is human too, just like all of us. We have breaks too.”

Before he could say anything else, my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was Daeryong.

“Hyung.”

“Jongin?” he sounded worried. “Are you with Rin?”

“She just came home, she is in her room. Why?”

“Is she acting weird? Is she showing signs that she is stressed?”

“Not that I know of. She was caught in the rain and had a small argument with one of the Hyung’s.” I looked at Luhan. “What’s wrong?”

“Jongin, I have a favour. Whatever happens, please stay by her side.”

“What do you mea-“

Bang. I looked towards the direction of the sound. It was coming from upstairs.

Thud. Everyone turned towards the room, silence enveloped the room.

“Jongin? What’s going on?”

“There are sounds coming from her room.”

“!” he exclaimed, and started talking in Chinese, I heard Soryeong hyung’s voice.

“What’s wrong? I don’t understand.”

“Jong in, did she tell you what day today is?”

“No.”

“It’s her parent’s death anniversary.”

“They passed away a few years ago. Rin thinks it’s her fault that they died. They were on the way to fetch her when they were hit. She took the news hard, and blamed herself since.”

“She tends to keep things inside, and it builds up as stress. Once it is full, she will explode. She even tried to kill herself before, today, 2 years ago. Good thing we reached on time if not she ...” his voice trailed off and my throat went dry.

“Jongin, please. We trust you.”

Crash. It was the sound of glass shattering. I threw the phone to Sehun and ran up, not caring about the others.

“Rin?” I knocked on the door, I turned the knob but it was locked from inside.

“Are you okay?” my heart was pounding against my ribs. There was no reply.

‘What if something happen to her? Is she okay?’

Crash.

“Rin?” I knocked.

“Se Rin?” I started to pound on the door. “HAN SE RIN! OPEN THE DOOR NOW.” I started to shout. Sehun came running up and he looked pale. He looked at the door and I shook my head.

“Rin, please open the door.” He begged as he pounded on the door. The other members came up and looked at us worriedly.

“Kai, Sehun what’s wrong?” Chanyeol hyung stood there looking worried.

Thud.

“Se Rin. Please, open the door.” I pounded on it. She didn’t open. “Hyung where are the keys?” I turned around and looked at Suho.

“I’ll go find It.” he ran off to find the keys.

“She will be okay right?” I looked at Sehun and he was as anxious as me. ”Everything will be okay once the door is open right?”

“I hope so.” I looked at the door. “Rin. Don’t do anything stupid, do you hear me?”

“What do you mean by that?” now all the members were gathered outside her room. “What do you mean by don’t do anything stupid?” Lay asked.

“5 years ago, on this day, her parents died.” Everyone remained silence. “Today is their death anniversary.” I said as I turned around. “That’s why she asked for a day off yesterday but someone said no but went out with everyone leaving her alone at home.”

“She didn’t say.” Luhan said.

“That’s because hyung, you didn’t give her a chance to tell you. You immediately chased her out.” Sehun said. “She is already working for you, babysitting your sister and you still treat her like that.”

“If anything happens to her, hyung I’ll never forgive you.” I glared at him.

 

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Your POV:

“Rin. Please open the door.”

I heard him. I wanted to run to him but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let him see me in this state. I looked up and my room was in a mess. Books, stationery, clothes, anything you can find was all over the floor. Glass pieces were shattered from the class cup I used and the photo frames that sat on my desk. I heard him talking outside to the others, they knew what day today was. My brother must have called them. I looked at my phone, 30 missed calls. I sighed, it was suffocating, I was stressed out and I think I was emotionally a bit unstable. I was breaking down. Qian stood there at the corner wearing a very worried look on her face. She couldn’t do anything, she knew. All she could do was stand there and watch me vent my frustrations.

I picked up a glass shard and held it against my wrist. I was feeling numb all over, I wanted to feel pain. Feeling pain lets me know that I’m still alive. Right now I feel like an empty shell.

“Rin, no.” she came forward. “Please, don’t hurt yourself.” I looked at her as tears came down my cheeks.

“I need to get rid of the stress. This seems to be the only way.” I slashed my wrist and blood flowed out immediately. I stared at the wound, something was wrong.

I stared as the blood flowed out. I cut myself again and again. “Rin.” She grabbed my wrist. “Stop.” I looked at her. She had tears in her eyes.

“Nothing.” I looked at her as tears ran down my cheeks.

“It doesn’t hurt.” She froze, her expression changed. “I can’t feel.” I looked down at my wrist that was bleeding.

‘Why can’t I feel? What’s wrong with me?’

I cut myself a few more times, hoping to have some feeling. She grabbed my hand but I pulled away. “It doesn’t hurt.” I said softly as I cried as I leaned against the cupboard.

“Rin.” She said softly and held my hand. It didn’t hurt, all I experienced was numbness. It was as if my emotions was being drained away slowly. I heard the door open and Jongin came running in along with Sehun and a few others.

“Rin!” I looked up. “Are you okay?” he held my arm and I saw his eyes widened at the sight of my arm.

“I’m fine. Just needed to relieve some stress.”

“This isn’t a way for you to relieve stress.” Sehun said and applied pressure on my cuts, there were about 10 cuts on my inner wrist. “This is wrong. What if the cut was deeper?”

“I’m fine. I’ve learnt my lesson 2 years back.” I smiled slightly. “This is just small cuts, I’ve been through more than this.”

“Don’t ever do that again. If you need to let go, I’m here. Don’t take it out on yourself ever again. I was so worried.” Jongin hugged me and planted a kiss on my temple.  

“Let’s get you bandage up.” He helped me up and led me to my bed.

“Don’t scare us like that again, understand?” Sehun stood there folding his arms, clearly not happy that this happened.

“I’m sorry.” Lay came in with a first aid kit and bend down. He took my arm but I pulled back immediately. “I can do it myself.” He looked surprised. “I don’t want to trouble you. I’ve already caused enough trouble.”

“I’ll do it.” Jongin took the kit from his hands. “I just need to clean the wound and bandage it right?”

“Yeah, make sure the bleeding stops.” He took my hand and began to clean the wound. Half way he looked up at me.

“Does it hurt?” I shook my head and he looked at me confused. I was as confused as him. Sehun, Suho and Lay cleaned up my room as Jongin bandaged me up. The others just stood outside, I didn’t want to see them. It’s not that I’m angry at them but I have nothing to say to them if I meet them.

“Let her rest.” Suho said and ushered them away from my room, giving me some space. Thank goodness for him.

“Sleep well okay?” Sehun looked at me and I nodded. “Don’t do anything else stupid or I won’t talk to you.”

“I promise.” With that he left my room, not without a good night’s kiss on the forehead. Jongin closed the door behind him and walked to my bed.

“What are you doing?”

“I promised that I’ll keep an eye on you.” he threw a towel over my head and dried my hair. “We don’t want you to fall sick.” He tossed me a new set of clothes and I changed out of my wet clothes. I knew he was watching me but I didn’t mind, I didn’t have anything to show.

“Hey, you still have it.”

“Have what?” I turned around and looked at him as I slipped the top over my head.

“That birthmark.” He smiled. “Gosh it’s been so long.”

“It’s a birthmark. It’s with you for life. And it nothing special.” He chuckle.

“But yours is different.” I sat down on my bed and looked at him.

“I get that a lot.” I pulled my blanket over my legs. “You don’t have to sleep here. I won’t do anything, I promise.”

“Just sleep.” He joined me under the blanket and I moved over, giving him space. “We can sleep like how we used to do when we were younger.” I sighed and faced him. I closed my eyes but opened them after a while.

“Can’t sleep?” I nodded.

“Come here.” he placed his arm under my neck and pulled me closer to him. My hand rested on his chest.

“Sleep.” He slowly ran my hands through my hair, as he rest his chin on my head. I snuggling closer to my heat source and he pulled me closer, tucking the blanket around me.

 

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