I'm can't help but update again.... but a short one *winks*

I was surprised to see Dara entered my apartment. She was the last person I expected to see. I never thought my sisters would betray me since I specifically told them not to let her know; but as expected and I’m pretty sure it was Su Young noona’s doing.

She was walking idly for awhile and I heard her took a deep breath. She was a few feet away from me when she suddenly stop and slowly raised her head and look at me. I was tongue tied and I couldn’t explain how I felt. Then I saw her jolted and gasped; suddenly I heard a loud crash. I was perplexed, until I heard her screeched “Joongie...omo~” and rushed to the kitchen. She came back with a mop, a broom, and a dustpan on hand. “Move back...” she ordered and that’s when I realized that I stupidly let go of the glass I was holding.

I tried to take the broom from her hand but she just won’t let it go. “I’ll do it”, she cooed but being me I tried to snatch it again. This time she glared at me and scolded, “I said, let me do it. How do you expect to clean this mess properly when you have plasters in your arms? Now... move back.”

I stood away from her, silent, and watching her every move. Honestly, I dreaded the time when she’s done and the “talk-slash-questions” would began. I wished that she would just leave or better the floor would just open up and swallow me alive. 

She was doing a great job and the more I looked at her the more I miss her. My house feels warmer when she’s around; and when she’s taking care of me. I closed my eyes tight, trying to get hold of my emotions.

I can’t be thinking of that now. It will only add up to my misery when she says her goodbye. I know she’s here to clear and end things. I have already prepared myself for that. I don’t have the right to object. It was my fault and I brought it to myself. If letting her go makes her happy and will compensate for the pain I’ve caused her, I’ll accept it even if it hurts me like hell. I thought.

I jerked back as soon as I open my eyes. She was standing right in front of me. We were silent. I don’t know what to say. I was not prepared for it. I successfully evaded her for 2 weeks because I was sorry and scared... scared for this moment.

Her gaze started to soften that I was bewildered; I saw sadness and it’s very tormenting to look at. I tried to stay to torture myself but I just can’t. It hurts so much and I was on the brink of breaking down. I turned my back and walked away leaving her.

Dara’s POV

He was silent the whole time. I don’t think I even heard him breath; not even when he tried to snatch the broom from my hand. It’s so deafening and it’s freaking the hell out of me. I don’t know what he’s thinking. I busied myself clearing the floor and tried to drag it a little longer hoping that he will utter a single word but there was nothing. I was done but he was still there standing and his eyes were tightly close. A habit he does when he's in deep thoughts or battling with his emotions.

I stood there, mesmerized. I have the urged to touch his brows when it furrowed. I missed him... so much. I was so nervous before coming but now amazingly I’m calm. My eyes landed on his arms. There were plasters and it made me sad and worried. I remember what Su Young told me and it broke my heart seeing him like this. I was about to touched it when he suddenly open his eyes and jolted back in surprise. I looked down guiltily and chuckled silently but I raised my head up immediately after, looking at his beautiful but tired face.

He looked so lean and his arm muscles were slowly fading. Dark circles around his eyes were evident. Half of his face was darker or maybe it was just the lighting. He looked so weary and exhausted. Though, he stood sturdy in front of me but his eyes gave it all away. His stares made me want to touch his face more. I missed the feel of it; he’s newly shave face; his soft skin; and the sweet taste of his beautiful lips. I missed it all.

I saw him took a small step back so I darted my gaze back to his eyes. They were misty and he was trying so hard to stop the tears from falling. My man is crumbling inside and seeing it made my heart swell.  Suddenly, he turned his back and left me. I have the urged to call and run after him but seeing his self control, I decided to let him be for a while.

Jaejoong’s POV

Inside my room I let my tear fall. How did we end up this way? Why is it so hard to control my feeling? How can I hurt the woman I love the most? I tried so hard to protect and safeguard her from people yet it was I who torment her.  How can I protect her from others when I can’t even protect her from myself? I failed.... failed her and failed myself. Our 1 year and 9 months together all came back, and I just brokedown.

We’ve been through a lot. We were able to fight for our love and successfully made it private. Though, I know there are fans who knew about us but they were supportive; at least that’s how I saw it since they kept mum.  We were together through ups and downs. She was there when I needed her the most.  She was there beside me when I crumbled and when I cried. She was there taking care of me when I’m tired. She was there keeping me alive when I don’t have the will to fight.  She never left my side when everybody forsakes me... forsakes us. She stayed even when I pushed her away. She stood by me even when I feel I am unworthy. All the time, she waited and never once gave up on me. She loved me with all sincerity and unconditionally.  Through it all, she was always understanding and forgiving.

But I know she can only take in so much; she must be tried of my jealousy and childishness. Even I can’t stand myself. How could I be so stupid? I badly hurt th