Chapter 19

Hurts

Baekhyun's P.O.V

It's hard to lie to someone you love. It truly hurts to love someone you can't love. Everything... is so hard to handle... Life, reality, problems and the society... Everything is going against you and the worst thing is that you know it. You know that you can't go any further than this, yet you want to try so desperately. But you know that if you keep trying, you will only end up hurting yourself or someone else.

Baekhyun feels just like this right now. He's too scared to take a step forward, but he can't take a step back either. He's trapped between his love for Chanyeol and the reality. His life is at risk, Chanyeol's life is at risk, Chanyeol's whole family is at a risk, yet Chanyeol wants them to keep trying.

“Here, open up.”

Chanyeol held out the chopsticks with some food as Baekhyun opened his mouth and let Chanyeol feed him. Baekhyun's wrists still hurts too much to use them, but it feels somewhat good that Chanyeol can help him. Even though Baekhyun feels scared.

“Is it good? Do you like it?”
“Mm... It's really good.”
“That's good to hear. The chefs will be really happy to hear that. Here, eat some more.”

Baekhyun opened his mouth as Chanyeol fed him the food. Baekhyun sat mostly silent the whole time Chanyeol was in the room. Chanyeol babbled about how much work he has to do, but that Baekhyun cheers him up and gives him more strength to work. Baekhyun just nods and let Chanyeol feed him like nothing is wrong.

“There, that was all of it. Good job.”
“Thank you for the food.”
“No problem, now rest. You need it.”
“I will, I promise...”
“I will come back later, okay? Don't get too bored without me.”
“I will try my best, have fun.”
“Haha, thank you. If anything happens, just scream and the maids will come.”
“Okay.”
“I love you.”

Baekhyun smiled as Chanyeol leaned in and left a peck on Baekhyun's forehead before he got up. Chanyeol left the room in silence as Baekhyun stared after him. There is no way that they can continue like this. Baekhyun knows that, but yet he wants to try so desperately.

Baekhyun sighed as he lied down on the bed and closed his eyes. He can't sleep that well because of the pain and the worries keeps him awake during the night as well. Baekhyun tried to fall asleep, because he's tired and doesn't have the power to stay awake for much longer. But his mind doesn't want him to sleep.

Baekhyun twisted and turned, even though it hurt when he accidentally lied down on a bruise or a sore spot. Baekhyun sighed as he couldn't fall asleep, no matter how much he tried. All he can think of is the pain and why he got it.

Baekhyun stared up at the ceiling as he yawed a little, he's so tired. Yet he can't sleep, which is a shame. Baekhyun sighed as he decided to spend his time thinking instead of just worrying about everything.

He tried to come up with a plan how to make Chanyeol hate him, but then he felt the pain in his heart. He doesn't want Chanyeol to hate him, he just wants Chanyeol to not love him. Baekhyun tried to come up with an idea how to make Chanyeol breakup with him, but all he could think of was to pretend that he doesn't love Chanyeol anymore. And that will only hurt the giant instead.

Baekhyun then tried to think of something new. Maybe... He should try to get transferred to somewhere else? He has it really nice here, even though he was really scared to get hurt. The Park family is well-known to take good care of trash people like their own family, which Baekhyun has noticed as well. It would be a shame if Baekhyun would suddenly want to transfer somewhere else.

He's not even sure if he can transfer away from here. Or he can, but it's up to his master to decide if he wants to send Baekhyun away. Which means that Baekhyun would have to convince Chanyeol to let him transfer somewhere else, which would never work. Chanyeol won't send him away, not without a really good reason.

Baekhyun sighed once again as he stared down at his wrists. They're still hurting, but they feel better. Everything feels a little sore and pained, but it slowly disappears the more time that passes. Time... heals wounds... but does it... heal... heartbreaks too?

Baekhyun has never thought about it before. It just hit him now that heartbreaks must hurt a lot; but do they ever heal? Baekhyun sighed as he closed his eyes. He doesn't want to think about anything anymore. His brain feels exhausted after all the thinking, especially when he's this tired. Baekhyun decided to try to sleep again, since there is no idea to think about things that won't get solved that easily and that fast anyway.

Chanyeol's P.O.V

“How is he doing? Is he better?”
“Yeah, he ate up all the food today.”
“That's good to hear.”

Chanyeol nodded as he clicked on his computer. Kris sat beside him as he sighed out tired and leaned back in the chair. Chanyeol glanced over at the giant who shouldn't be here, but he came by anyway. Kris only means well though, but Chanyeol is working and he rather get his job done so he can visit Baekhyun.

“What can I help you with Kris? Is there anything you need?”
“No, not really. I'm just wondering; how are you going to solve all this?”
“Solve what? The economic crisis or what?”
“No, I'm talking about you and Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol sat quite for a while as he concentrated on the work for some more minutes before he could take a short break. But only a really short break, he doesn't want to waste his time on things that isn't that important, like work.

“I don't know, I will just have to try to keep Baekhyun safe.”
“Do you really think that will help?”
“Listen, I don't know what to do yet. I will just have to keep Baekhyun safe till I have solved everything.”
“And how will you solve everything?”
“I don't know yet-”
“If you don't know, how are you going to protect Baekhyun?”
“I will figure everything out eventually.”
“Life doesn't work like that Chanyeol, you can't just say that you will wait and see. Someone wants to hurt you two.”
“No Sherlock.”
“Then take this matter seriously.”
“What, do you have some kind of plan to offer to me?”
“I have rather an idea that can keep you safe till you can come up with a better plan.”
“And that is?”
“You can temporary send Baekhyun away to another family for a couple of months-”
“Never.”
“Don't be selfish! You're just thinking of yourself right now! Think about him too!”

Chanyeol felt how the annoyance took over him. Kris is somewhat right, Chanyeol is being selfish, but doesn't he have the right to be a little selfish? Or is it just dangerous to be this selfish? Maybe... Kris is right? Maybe it's the best to temporary send Baekhyun to another family. Maybe... It will only make the boy some good to go back to his own family?

“I will think about it and talk with my parents about it.”
“Good that you will at least consider it. Listen, you have to go back to your playbo