“I want you back. If I don’t have you, I would just stand there; unable to move.”

The Answer – Kim Sunggyu

Baekhyun was sitting alone at the roadside bench, eyes damp and swollen. He checked his wrist watch and realized he has been sitting like a zombie for more than three hours – wondering and wandering. He thought he had no power left to stand up, so he just sat there watching people walked by. When a droplet of water fell on his shirt, people started to run and vehicles increased their speed, but Baekhyun was just still there, sitting and watching the rain falling. Baekhyun really needed time to enjoy his broken heart.

This heart ached much worse than what Taeyeon did to him before – it hurt, but this was the worst. He even couldn’t feel his heart anymore, Baekhyun even didn’t know whether he’s still breathing or not. All he wanted to do was going back and begging so Eunji could take back what she just said.

It was his fault, he admitted it. It was his fault for taken away by his feelings and let the female touched his hair. It was his fault for being stupid and overly dumb about his girlfriend—oh no, his ex-girlfriend’s feelings. Eunji has never let Kyungsoo touched her hair for no reason, so why has he?

Baekhyun was already resigning himself to a fate of damp, frizzy hair when he suddenly felt a presence close beside him and a shadow over his head. He looked up to see his best friend; the giant was holding an umbrella above them, gasped for oxygen.

“YAH, BYUN BAEKHYUN!” Chanyeol yelled at him. “Pick up your phone! Don’t you know how worried we are looking for you?!” Chanyeol then put the phone on his earlobe. “Jong, I found him. Yes, he’s alone, broken, and wet. Yeah, yeah, just meet up at your house. I’ll bring this back.” Chanyeol pressed the red button on screen and placed it back inside his pants. He squatted down and checked whether he was still damp because of another droplet. “Your lips are blue,” Chanyeol murmured and helped Baekhyun to stand up. “Let’s just crash Jongdae’s and talk there, okay?”

Baekhyun didn’t say anything – at all – and just let the taller held him tighter. But when he went in to the car, safety belt was buckled up by Chanyeol, he whispered, “… She broke up with me,” Chanyeol knew Baekhyun needed more than moral support.

Eunji was standing by the curtain, realizing that it has been raining since some time ago. She nibbled her lower lip, worried about the boy because she knew he was a quiet reckless. What if he did something bad? What if he thought about doing something bad? Eunji went to get her phone, but she paused. She had no right to call him or even text him anymore because she simply dumped him few hours back. Eunji put back her phone and wished he would be okay.

The door was knocked and Jinwoon peeked inside with a tray on his hold. He went in to her room and the lights that have been off since she was inside. He put the tray on the table and sat on the edge of her bed, seeing his sister desperate and pathetic. If it was Baekhyun’s wrongdoing, he would gladly come over to his house and punched him heartlessly. But his sister looked like this because what she did to herself – she tasted her own medicine.

“… You need to sleep, school’s tomorrow.” Jinwoon whispered in hushed tone, but loud enough for Eunji to listen.

“… I know.” she nodded at him absent-mindedly.

“Do you need something?” Jinwoon tried to ask again, just afraid she would need his help.

“Can you stay with me until I’m asleep, oppa?” Eunji turned her head to see Jinwoon, who was moving closer to her.

Jinwoon nodded. “Of course,” he said. “Of course, I can.”

Eunji went to her bed and Jinwoon helped her with the blanket. As always, her older brother would peck on her forehead and then he sat near her. He tapped his finger on her back, humming some sad songs only to make her sleep (and cry too) because when Jinwoon found her, she already couldn’t cry anymore but her eyes were puffy and reddish.

“Oppa,” she sounded as if she was choked, but she covered herself with the blanket when Jinwoon craned to check her.

Jinwoon sighed a heavy breathe and said, “Yes?”

“Tell me I’m a fool. I’m a stupid fool…”

“You’re not a fool.” Jinwoon disapproved quickly.

“I am,” she insisted. “I really am, if I wasn’t being insecure about myself, I think we’ll be just fine now. Maybe I can give him a call now, or he’s nagging at me now, or anything… I’m so stupid for being so insecure to Taeyeon eonni, I’m so stupid for being jealous over little things. I’m so, so stupid.”

Jinwoon could hear his younger sister was sobbing, tried not to make it audible for him but still, how couldn’t he hear it if the room was silent and filled with only breathing sound? But Jinwoon recalled the moment when Yonghwa said Eunji was a grown-up and she needed to fix her own problems without their helps.

So Jinwoon didn’t say anything and kept singing.

I guess I really can’t go on if it’s not you

I love you, I’m erasing you, erasing you, and I’m crying again

I keep thinking about you, I have many tears

Chanyeol massaged the area between his forehead, Jongdae bit his nails, and Jongin sighed. They really had no idea how to console a brokenhearted man, so they just let Baekhyun tortured himself with hearing sad, break-up songs while the boys tried to find a way.

“Baek,” he called him in the middle of Baekhyun lip-syncing to Super Junior D&E’s Growing Pains. “Seriously, tell us what happened.”

Baekhyun stopped and he looked away. “She was jealous with Taeyeon.” he swallowed and continued, “There’s nothing about Taeyeon she needs to be jealous about! I don’t love Taeyeon, not anymore, and I’m really, really in love with her. Can’t she see? If it wasn’t her, maybe I wouldn’t fight for her. If it wasn’t her, maybe I wouldn’t catch her every time we have arguments. She was being jealous over nothing.” Baekhyun couldn’t hide his disappointment while blurting out.

“And then what’s next?” Jongdae asked, voice serious.

“I’ll stop.” Baekhyun replied curtly and stared up at his friends. “I told her, once she let me go, I won’t bother to turn around and make things right. I’ve been running too much and I think I already got in my nerve. I can’t run for her anymore.”

“… Don’t you love her, hyung?” Jongin stepped up.

“Heck yeah to the core. I love her too much until I need to think how I can survive without me disturbing her peace. I love her so much and I don’t think I can love anyone else as much as I do to her, she’s my everything, you know…” Baekhyun gave the younger a sad smile.

Seeing no more words or actions came from his best friends, Baekhyun went over to turn up his iPod again, now he was singing to a soundtrack of Korean drama, Warm and Cozy.

Alone without you, I’m alone like this

Painting then erasing you, I’m walking for a long time

On this street we walked on together

If I see you, I think I’ll run to you and hold you

***

The next morning, Eunji couldn’t find any of beagle lines came to the school. She braved herself and asked Amber, which her reply gave her surprise; Baekhyun skipped classes today because he was sick and Jongdae was said to take care of him, Chanyeol came to school but he was maybe busy with his preparation for election next week. Eunji only gave a mere smile when Amber wondered how the clingy Baekhyun didn’t know about this since Byun Baekhyun would always tell her – even Amber said Baekhyun would report what he had for breakfast if Eunji let him.

“But you can find Chanyeol at the rooftop. He’s been there for brainstorming, that’s what he told me weeks ago.” Amber smiled and Eunji smiled gratefully for the information. She waved her goodbye and walked fast to the rooftop.

The rooftop wasn’t really a nice place to hang out. It was quiet and full with unused stuffs. The only reason it worth to be there simply because the view was beautiful. You can see the sun descends at the evening or if you’re lucky and come to school early, you’ll see sun rises.

Eunji opened the door and found Chanyeol pretty quickly. The male was sitting at the edge cross-legged, eyes sporting glasses, a hand writing down something and another was bitten by the male. He looked very vulnerable but cutely serious for such a youthful face.

“Sunbaenim,” Eunji called him and Chanyeol looked up, didn’t expect to see her there with him at the rooftop.

“Eunji,” was all Chanyeol could say.

The atmosphere was awkward, maybe because what she has done to his best friend and Eunji was well aware that Chanyeol had every right to shoo her away. But she knew deep down even Chanyeol had that evil thought, he wouldn’t do it because he was a kindhearted boy.

“Just so you know,” Chanyeol said as he took off his glasses and placed them on his paper. “I supposed to loathe you right now. You broke my best friend’s heart.”

Eunji nodded. “I know, sunbaenim, and I’m sorry.”

“If sorry is enough, why there’s still war?” Chanyeol asked rhetorically to make Eunji pressed her lips into a thin line, quiet and scared. Chanyeol then tapped his side, asking the younger to sit beside him. Eunji obeyed and Chanyeol pointed at a couple sitting on a bench near their school field, they were holding hands with the girl rested her head on his shoulder. “Look at them,” he pointed. “Do you think they