Folding papers

Seeking for Certainty
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Suzy felt like she was cheating on Myungsoo. She was in her apartment, at the phone with him, but her thoughts were filled with Sehun.

“Su, are you still there?”

“Y-Yeah,” she stuttered.

“So how’s your week?” Myungsoo asked.

“Uhm,” she thought hard. She didn’t know how to start explaining on Sehun’s plans of courting her. She inwardly sighed and faking a cheerful voice, she answered, “Just fine, same old routine at work. I also took Damon to the pet salon. She just got her hair cut.”

“Hmmmm, that’s good,” Myungsoo hummed and Suzy could feel him smile at the other end.

When silence took over, Suzy called, “Hey, Soo.”

“Hmmm?”

“I love you,” she whispered in a tender voice.

“I know,” he chuckled.

“Never ever forget that, ‘kay?” Suzy murmured.

“I won’t,” he promised.  “I love you too, Su.”

Both of them serenated each other with laughter, but then, Myungsoo said, “I have to go now.”

“Take care,” Suzy answered, but her smile quickly melted away because she could swear that she heard Soojung’s voice at the background, an old yet strong threat to their relationship.

 

 

Jung Soojung still remembers how desperate she was to get close to Kim Myungsoo. She went as far as to not only on enrolling to the university he was studying in, but also enlisting in the same course. At first, she was contented bumping onto him from time to time in their college, but she grew to yearn for more. Being three years her sunbae, it was hard for Soojung to get the same class schedule with him, but whenever given the chance to be with Myungsoo, she would never let it escape. She was in first year while he was in fourth year when, at the first and last time, they became classmates.

It was a Humanities Class, and even though it was her only class during Mondays and Thursdays, Soojung would go to school with enthusiasm. However, on the first day, she regretted being filled with excitement as she arrived in class before him and she needed to pick a seat. Gambling with the idea that he would sit beside the window, Soojung sat at the farthest row, a seat away from the window. She stiffened upon seeing him enter the room, and her eyes unknowingly stared at him as he walked. Her heart thumped faster when he acknowledged her with a small smile, but as if heaven was on her side, Myungsoo also sat on the seat north east of hers. Soojung then, bit her lip hard in an attempt to hide her big smile.

“I didn’t know you’re into Humanities,” she flinched upon hearing Myungsoo’s voice.

“I- I didn’t know you were too,” she lied, stuttering.

“It’s the closest thing to art that I can get,” he replied with a smile, showing that dimple that Soojung adored.

“M-Me too,” she parroted.

“Really?” he asked, wide-eyed. “What kind of art? I like photography.”

Me? I like you, she bit her lip hard to prevent her honest thoughts from becoming words.

He stared at her, waiting for an answer, and Soojung didn’t know if it was the delight of having his eyes on her, or the absence of an excuse of enrolling in the class that kept her from talking. She realized it was both.

She opened but no words came out.

Fortunately, she was saved when the professor entered the room, garnering everyone’s attention. Well, maybe not everyone for hers was always on Myungsoo. She was staring at him, while he in turn would glance at the window every now and then. As the teacher talked in front, her thoughts were only focused on thinking of an art that she knew. She almost gasped when an idea came to her mind, but the smile on her lips remained as she started fiddling in her seat.

When the bell rung, Soojung immediately sprung to her feet and went in front of Myungsoo’s table. The male looked up at her while she courageously met his gaze. She coughed awkwardly before placing a paper flower on top of his desk.

“Origami,” she mumbled and blushed upon seeing the corner of his lips curve into a smile.

Soojung used to believe that that paper flower she had put on his desk had been her ticket to officially entering his life.

“Hey, Soojung, would you mind teaching me how to fold paper flowers?”

Soojung’s heart skipped a beat when it was Myungsoo who approached her one Tuesday afternoon. With the fleeting feeling of being approached by her crush, she immediately answered, “Sure.”

It was the start of her falling deeper for him. She loved how she became the object of his attention when she folds papers. Not wasting the opportunity, she would take their short lessons and convert it into conversations so that he would stay longer with her. These ‘training’ sessions only lasted a week but for her, it was eternity.

She would giggle every time she catches Myungsoo folding papers beneath his desk during their class, and her heart would warm upon seeing him smile every time he successfully makes one.  But then, Soojung had also started noticing that he had started making paper flowers with different colors.

It was a Thursday morning when Soojung saw Myungsoo with a bouquet of paper flowers in his hands. Her heart almost jumped out of her chest when he stopped in front of her, wearing his most charming smile.

“Thank you so much for teaching me, Soojung.”

Soojung smiled brightly as she looked at the varied paper flowers wrapped in a light pink crepe paper.

“I hope Suzy would like this,” Myungsoo added.

Her heart immediately sunk at his words, but Soojung managed to force a smile as she replied, “If it’s from the man she loves, she would surely treasure it, no matter how petty it looks in the eyes of others.”

After that incident, it was only then that Soojung deciphered the reason Myungsoo sat beside the window: Suzy did too. She was too preoccupied at staring at him that she didn’t see that at the same floor on the opposite classroom sat a girl who has always been the apple of his eyes. Myungsoo was not just stealing glances outside the window; he was specifically looking at Suzy.

Soojung thought that maybe, she was just a stop-over in Myungsoo’s life while Bae Suzy w

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[Seeking for Certainty 01/01/16] UPDATED

Comments

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gyuhyeon #1
Chapter 34: 2021 and I'm here to bawl my eyes out. Thank youuu
gyuhyeon #2
Back to this story after years, I'm so sad so many beautiful stories about suzy are deleted :(((
Markzy4ever #3
TashiLhamo129 #4
Chapter 35: Jaka nim, thank you so much for this story. I loved it so much and I have never felt such emotions for a long time...U made me realise how important it is to love yet that love must be pure and certain. Seeking for certainty is such a powerful love story and I learned that life will always throw u back and forth, you just need to be certain of who u meet and who to trust. But first of all, you gotta trust yourself and believe in ur innate strength that no matter what, u can stand up on ur own. Thank you once again. ?❣️??
Washingtowndc
#5
Chapter 35: Taehyung, despite his parents state, i mean his father's gone and his mom is psychologically ill and barely remember him, he is still the sweetest and full of love for his parents omg i hope he grow well :") *sobs* haha thanks author for this great story
arnicutie #6
Chapter 35: I can hear my heart breaking..this is a superb story..I just wish that Myungsoo did not die and find his own happiness that was deprived from him..whether with Suzy or with someone else..but kudos to you..i hope to read more stories from you..
Exozy_88
#7
Chapter 35: Can't stop Crying !! Oh ghoooood :(((
lucidhoney10
#8
Chapter 35: Okay first I'm not really into angst and I loved the fact that you aren't ending this in the most tragic way.
Confession, I am more rooting for Sehun and Suzy than Myungsoo and Suzy. Okay, I probably the minority here but I have my own reason for rooting on Hunzy.
Yes, sehun and suzy started the wrong way. Sehun started it wrong. He court her not because he loved her, it's started with a kind of dumb revenge which shouldn't be existed. So why do I still am rooting for them even between all of the lies? Because Sehun is courageous enough to choose Suzy over anyone else. Call it selfish, but I think it was form of courage. The only coward thing he did after fully realising his feeling towards her was that he didn't let Suzy know the true story before Soojung did. If only he is brave enough to spill the bean, perhaps Suzy will be a bit less hurted. After all, knowing the truth from the one you love will be a lot better than to have another tell you how you actually had been toyed all this while added with nothing but confirmation from those who held your heart that what other told you was somehow true.
Then why am I not rooting for Myungsoo? Simple because he wasted his chance. He could've runaway from his family even before the engagement yet he don't. He could've reject the option to marry Soojung (even runaway from the wedding is always an option) yet he didn't. He always had the chance to choose Suzy over everything else yet he hadn't. Even if he had been written as someone who loves her unconditionally; someone who is willing to sacrifice himself for her, it still didn't hide the fact that he is not courageous enough to pursue their forever.
If they said that Soojung and Sehun's love were selfish, then what were theirs? Myungsoo and Suzy also practiced that selfish love; a kind of selfish love which actually way worst than the one Soojung and Sehun had.
However, this is good for my not so "angsty lover" taste. I am thankful that you write this. Sorry for the long comments!
Markzy4ever #9
Chapter 35: Authornim I love you and your fics. I almost cried while reading this fic. Anyway I'm happy that it's a happy ending for hunzy