Reserved Plan

Seeking for Certainty
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When Suzy stepped out of the bathroom after a hot shower, the sound of the hair blower echoed in her ears. Turning to its source, she found Myungsoo drying her bag along with her things that were inside it. Hearing the door creak, Myungsoo spared her a glance as he said,

“You’re done? I’ve prepared a cup of milk for you.”

She only silently nodded in reply as she saw the cup on the desk beside her bed. She silently sat at the edge of the bed and when her icy hands grasped the cup, she found comfort in the warmth it gave. Looking back at Myungsoo who continued on fixing her wet things, she realized that between the two of them, it was always Myungsoo who travelled the extra mile to show that he cared. She wouldn’t claim that she cared less for him than he cared for her. She believes that they equally love each other, but it was always Myungsoo who gives extra effort to prove how much he loves her.

He’ll even make it rain if he needed to.

 

 

It was in the spring of her second year high school when Myungsoo found Suzy along the hallway, blankly staring outside the school’s windows. She didn’t even notice that he was already standing beside her until he coughed.

“Oh, sunbaenim,” she smiled but Myungsoo didn’t fail to notice how gloomy her eyes were.

“Is there something wrong?” he bluntly asked.

He saw how worry crossed her eyes, but then she faked a smile again as she sighed and said, “I was just wondering if it’ll rain today.”

Myungsoo furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the sky. It was impossible.

“Why?” he asked.

“Just,” Suzy shrugged her shoulders. “I think I need some rain.”

When the bell rung, Suzy quickly bowed to say goodbye and Myungsoo was left staring outside. But then, it did not take long before Suzy heard running footsteps before her, and a hand pulled her to turn. While confusion was written all over her face, Myungsoo’s was painted with a big smile. Before she knew it, she was dragged to their school’s garden.

“Wait here,” Myungsoo said as he situated her in the middle of the field.

Even before Suzy could ask, she felt little drops of water land on her skin. She looked up and the sky was still very clear and blue. The sun’s rays were even blinding her eyes but at the same time, she was being drenched. She let out her palm and smiled as water started accumulating on her palm.

It was raining.

“Well, technically, it’s not rain,” Myungsoo said as he stood in front of her. “But I think it would be enough to hide your tears.”

He knew how how she always wanted to appear strong even if she was breaking inside but she could never deny her vulnerability, so the solution she resorts most of the time is to conceal it. Crying in the rain was one of her ways but she couldn’t remember how Myungsoo discovered about her secret.

“It’s okay now, Su,” Myungsoo urged and gave her a reassuring smile. “You can tell me.”

With just those words, her walls crumbled down and she started crying. She tried covering with both of her hands to muffle her sobs, but then, Myungsoo removed them, and instead let his chest be her pillow. He hugged her tight, caressing her back to give her the support she needed.   

“I really miss my family,” she cried. “I miss my mom.”

“You’re going to see them soon at the family day.”

“I won’t,” she sobbed more. “They said their money is not enough for them to travel to Seoul.”

 Myungsoo could only close his eyes and hug her tighter as he whispered, “We’ll find ways, Su. You’re going to meet them. I promise.”

And Myungsoo never broke his promise.

It was in the summer of the same year when Suzy stood in the hallway, staring outside the window as the rain poured down. Not too long later, she heard footsteps running towards her. When she turned, she found Myungsoo, gasping for breath. As she smiled, that of a genuine one, he sighed in relief.

“My tears are not always scheduled with the time of the rain,” she teased and Myungsoo chuckled before saying,

“You don’t need to wait for the rain. You already have me. I bet I do a better job of comforting you.”

But even after that day, Suzy kept anticipating for the rain because she knew that every time the rain falls down, Myungsoo’s mind would be filled with no one but her.

 

 

Suzy was disrupted from her thoughts when she felt a towel land on her head. She put down the now empty cup on her desk. She looked up to witness him sigh as he said,

“Your hair’s still wet.”

Instead of drying it by herself, she pushed her back towards Myungsoo’s chest and the latter understood that she was making him do the job. She was hugging her knees while she sat in between Myungsoo’s legs and she closed her eyes as Myungsoo ruffled her hair with the towel. She loves being pampered, especially when it’s Myungsoo. After all, she only let herself be weak and vulnerable in front of people she knew would protect and take care of her.

Myungsoo stared at her at the mirror and as he saw her swollen eye

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[Seeking for Certainty 01/01/16] UPDATED

Comments

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gyuhyeon #1
Chapter 34: 2021 and I'm here to bawl my eyes out. Thank youuu
gyuhyeon #2
Back to this story after years, I'm so sad so many beautiful stories about suzy are deleted :(((
Markzy4ever #3
TashiLhamo129 #4
Chapter 35: Jaka nim, thank you so much for this story. I loved it so much and I have never felt such emotions for a long time...U made me realise how important it is to love yet that love must be pure and certain. Seeking for certainty is such a powerful love story and I learned that life will always throw u back and forth, you just need to be certain of who u meet and who to trust. But first of all, you gotta trust yourself and believe in ur innate strength that no matter what, u can stand up on ur own. Thank you once again. ?❣️??
Washingtowndc
#5
Chapter 35: Taehyung, despite his parents state, i mean his father's gone and his mom is psychologically ill and barely remember him, he is still the sweetest and full of love for his parents omg i hope he grow well :") *sobs* haha thanks author for this great story
arnicutie #6
Chapter 35: I can hear my heart breaking..this is a superb story..I just wish that Myungsoo did not die and find his own happiness that was deprived from him..whether with Suzy or with someone else..but kudos to you..i hope to read more stories from you..
Exozy_88
#7
Chapter 35: Can't stop Crying !! Oh ghoooood :(((
lucidhoney10
#8
Chapter 35: Okay first I'm not really into angst and I loved the fact that you aren't ending this in the most tragic way.
Confession, I am more rooting for Sehun and Suzy than Myungsoo and Suzy. Okay, I probably the minority here but I have my own reason for rooting on Hunzy.
Yes, sehun and suzy started the wrong way. Sehun started it wrong. He court her not because he loved her, it's started with a kind of dumb revenge which shouldn't be existed. So why do I still am rooting for them even between all of the lies? Because Sehun is courageous enough to choose Suzy over anyone else. Call it selfish, but I think it was form of courage. The only coward thing he did after fully realising his feeling towards her was that he didn't let Suzy know the true story before Soojung did. If only he is brave enough to spill the bean, perhaps Suzy will be a bit less hurted. After all, knowing the truth from the one you love will be a lot better than to have another tell you how you actually had been toyed all this while added with nothing but confirmation from those who held your heart that what other told you was somehow true.
Then why am I not rooting for Myungsoo? Simple because he wasted his chance. He could've runaway from his family even before the engagement yet he don't. He could've reject the option to marry Soojung (even runaway from the wedding is always an option) yet he didn't. He always had the chance to choose Suzy over everything else yet he hadn't. Even if he had been written as someone who loves her unconditionally; someone who is willing to sacrifice himself for her, it still didn't hide the fact that he is not courageous enough to pursue their forever.
If they said that Soojung and Sehun's love were selfish, then what were theirs? Myungsoo and Suzy also practiced that selfish love; a kind of selfish love which actually way worst than the one Soojung and Sehun had.
However, this is good for my not so "angsty lover" taste. I am thankful that you write this. Sorry for the long comments!
Markzy4ever #9
Chapter 35: Authornim I love you and your fics. I almost cried while reading this fic. Anyway I'm happy that it's a happy ending for hunzy