Giving chances

Seeking for Certainty
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Yerin still couldn’t believe that she ended up going to the grocery with Sehun alone. Apparently, Jimin and Yugyeom were the ones tasked on buying in the wet market for vegetables and meat. Her sister, Suzy, on the other hand, refused to accompany her because of the cold weather. Suzy was even backed up by her mother who reasoned out that her sister still needed to prepare kimchi.

She wordlessly shopped for bread with Sehun trailing her from behind. Without Jimin to keep the conversations going, the awkward atmosphere between the two was beyond tolerable.

“What do we need to buy?” Sehun asked.

“The list is too long, just read it,” Yerin answered and gave the paper to Sehun.

“It’s okay,” Sehun shook his head and refused to take it. “I’ll just follow you.”

She nodded in reply and proceeded on shopping. However, the silence between them was too much to handle, especially for Sehun.

“So what grade are you in?” he tried to initiate a conversation.

“Jimin and Yugyeom have already told you,” she replied.

“Ah, that’s right,” he sheepishly smiled. “Any hobbies?”

“Nothing that would pick your interest,” she said nonchalantly.

“But actually there’s one,” Sehun beamed. “Jimin told me that you two can sing.”

This caused Yerin to halt for a moment. Even if the urge was high, she still did not meet Sehun’s gaze. She coughed a little before asking, “So?”

“So… what genre do you like?”

“You’re not a musician,” Yerin coldly answered before turning to the other shelf. “What would you even know about genres?”

“But… it doesn’t take a musician to know that,” Sehun shook his head as he followed her, pushing the cart in front.

Yerin continued stacking some canned goods in the shopping cart before replying, “Still. It’s none of your concern.”

She was keeping herself occupied on choosing their toiletries when Sehun asked her again, “Why do you avoid conversations with me?”

“You’re a stranger,” she whispered.

“I don’t think anyone would allow a stranger to stay in their house for a month,” Sehun mumbled.

“Your unni’s friend-- not mine,” Yerin uttered as she kept on stacking groceries in the cart.

“But I could be your friend too if you’d let me,” Sehun grinned widely.

Yerin tried not to roll her eyes at him in public. Technically, he was older and she needed to show him respect. She whispered beneath her breath, “Why are you so stubborn?”

But then, Sehun just chuckled and replied, “This cold attitude of yours is just like your sister’s. It actually reminds me of our first weeks together.”

Yerin huffed and squinted at him. “Why are you trying to please me?”

“Isn’t it normal for a person to strive to have a good relationship with those around him?” Sehun raised his eyebrows.

“It wouldn’t make a difference if that person would be around not for long,” Yerin spat and immediately regretted it since her words had sounded so harsh and impolite. As another silence lurked after her statement, she bit her lip and mumbled, “I’m done shopping. Let’s go home.”

But as they lined up for the counter, she was cornered by Sehun’s presence once more.

“Why do you hate me so much?” he asked in a whisper. It didn’t sound stern in Yerin’s ears. It seemed like it was a question of mere curiosity.

“I do not hate you,” she muttered.

“But you don’t like me either,” Sehun added. He hummed, “Hmmmm. You’re as complicated as Suzy.”

Yerin looked anywhere but at Sehun. She tapped her foot on the floor in anxiety as they waited in line. As the silence became longer, she wondered if she had offended the male.

 “Look. I don’t think you’re bad,” Yerin clarified. “But I just don’t want to be associated with you.”

“But it’s not fair,” Sehun sadly smiled. “You don’t even give me the chance to prove myself. You already closed your mind to any idea of having any form of relationship with me before knowing me better.”

Guilty, Yerin averted her gaze and fortunately, they were already next.

 

 

“Am I really being unfair?”

“Huh?” Yugyeom asked as he munched on a chocolate bar. The two of them were sitting at a bench, waiting for Jimin to finish getting her hair done.

Yerin gazed at him and quietly grabbed a tissue to wipe the smudge on the corner of his lips. She was oblivious of the male’s blush so she asked again, “Am I really being unfair?”

“A-About what?” Yugyeom stuttered.

“About Sehun oppa,” Yerin’s gaze fell down on the ground.

“What about him?” Yugyeom questioned further.

“About not giving a chance to a friendship between us,” Yerin mumbled. “I mean, isn’t it just fair that we choose who we want to be friends with? Isn’t it normal to choose friends?”

“Then that means that you chose me and I chose you?”

“It sounds icky and cheesy,” Yerin frowned. “But yes. Wasn’t that the case?”

“It might be,” Yugyeom smiled. “But certainly, people are always strangers at first.”

“And?”

“I think we choose after we interact with strangers,” Yugyeom explained. “We choose whether we like them to be our friends or not. Barring interactions with him is like preventing a friendship before it bloomed. It’s like you’re stuck at first impression or you could even put it as judging a book by its cover and the sad thing is he’s reaching out but you’re refusing it.”

“Are we talking about Sehun oppa?” Jimin suddenly appeared.

“Your hair’s red! It’s good!” Yugyeom exclaimed in glee.

“Have you been listening?” Yerin asked before commenting on her hair, “I hope mom would not kill you.”

“Thank you, Yugyeommie. I got the inspiration from your pink hair,” Jimin high-fived the male before turning to her twin, “I just heard the last part. So what about Sehun oppa? Have you finally realized that you’re being subjective towards him?”

“Where’s the subjectivity coming from?” Yugyeom asked.

Jimin answe

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louieistrash
[Seeking for Certainty 01/01/16] UPDATED

Comments

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gyuhyeon #1
Chapter 34: 2021 and I'm here to bawl my eyes out. Thank youuu
gyuhyeon #2
Back to this story after years, I'm so sad so many beautiful stories about suzy are deleted :(((
Markzy4ever #3
TashiLhamo129 #4
Chapter 35: Jaka nim, thank you so much for this story. I loved it so much and I have never felt such emotions for a long time...U made me realise how important it is to love yet that love must be pure and certain. Seeking for certainty is such a powerful love story and I learned that life will always throw u back and forth, you just need to be certain of who u meet and who to trust. But first of all, you gotta trust yourself and believe in ur innate strength that no matter what, u can stand up on ur own. Thank you once again. ?❣️??
Washingtowndc
#5
Chapter 35: Taehyung, despite his parents state, i mean his father's gone and his mom is psychologically ill and barely remember him, he is still the sweetest and full of love for his parents omg i hope he grow well :") *sobs* haha thanks author for this great story
arnicutie #6
Chapter 35: I can hear my heart breaking..this is a superb story..I just wish that Myungsoo did not die and find his own happiness that was deprived from him..whether with Suzy or with someone else..but kudos to you..i hope to read more stories from you..
Exozy_88
#7
Chapter 35: Can't stop Crying !! Oh ghoooood :(((
lucidhoney10
#8
Chapter 35: Okay first I'm not really into angst and I loved the fact that you aren't ending this in the most tragic way.
Confession, I am more rooting for Sehun and Suzy than Myungsoo and Suzy. Okay, I probably the minority here but I have my own reason for rooting on Hunzy.
Yes, sehun and suzy started the wrong way. Sehun started it wrong. He court her not because he loved her, it's started with a kind of dumb revenge which shouldn't be existed. So why do I still am rooting for them even between all of the lies? Because Sehun is courageous enough to choose Suzy over anyone else. Call it selfish, but I think it was form of courage. The only coward thing he did after fully realising his feeling towards her was that he didn't let Suzy know the true story before Soojung did. If only he is brave enough to spill the bean, perhaps Suzy will be a bit less hurted. After all, knowing the truth from the one you love will be a lot better than to have another tell you how you actually had been toyed all this while added with nothing but confirmation from those who held your heart that what other told you was somehow true.
Then why am I not rooting for Myungsoo? Simple because he wasted his chance. He could've runaway from his family even before the engagement yet he don't. He could've reject the option to marry Soojung (even runaway from the wedding is always an option) yet he didn't. He always had the chance to choose Suzy over everything else yet he hadn't. Even if he had been written as someone who loves her unconditionally; someone who is willing to sacrifice himself for her, it still didn't hide the fact that he is not courageous enough to pursue their forever.
If they said that Soojung and Sehun's love were selfish, then what were theirs? Myungsoo and Suzy also practiced that selfish love; a kind of selfish love which actually way worst than the one Soojung and Sehun had.
However, this is good for my not so "angsty lover" taste. I am thankful that you write this. Sorry for the long comments!
Markzy4ever #9
Chapter 35: Authornim I love you and your fics. I almost cried while reading this fic. Anyway I'm happy that it's a happy ending for hunzy