Suzy had moved back to her province again and despite their curiosity, her family and Yugyeom didn’t probe for reasons. When she announced that she had resigned from the workplace she had grown accustomed to for years, Yerin and Jimin finally asked her why and she told them that she just wanted a new life. Noticing that their elder sister did not want to discuss the matter further, they let her be. Her mother kept her silence despite not being successful at hiding her worried glances at Suzy.

The sun had set down and the moon shone brightly but Suzy still was not asleep. She was at their living room, sitting at the big sofa as she stared at the sky filled with darkness from their large window. She sighed as the absence of any star had made her gloomier.

“You went home to breathe,” her mother broke the trance Suzy was in and sat beside the younger female. “If you went home to breathe, then why do you still put a façade on your feelings?”

“I’m okay,” Suzy guaranteed her with a smile. “I mean, not entirely okay in the sense that I don’t feel broken… but the type of okay in which I am sure the pain would subside in the future.”

“Won’t you tell your mom?” Mrs. Bae asked softly.

“I don’t believe in the ‘ignorance is bliss’ quote that often, but this time, I think that it’s really better if I don’t tell you all of it,” Suzy replied with a voice as soft as her mother’s. “If I’d give you at least a summary, well, my relationship with Sehun is in a mess right now. Something happened that rattled everything that I thought was genuine.”

Her mother kept her silence and let Suzy continue.

“And Myungsoo, he’s offering me to start a new beginning with him in England,”  

“And what’s your decision?” her mother inquired.

“I don’t know,” Suzy shook her head. “It’s not that easy to go to England, I… I just can’t leave you, my family, like that. But there’s a part of me that wants to throw everything else away and escape.”

“If we are the reason that’s holding you back, then we’d let you go,” her mother smiled. “You have lived your whole life providing for this family, Suzy. Jimin and Yerin are graduating soon; they could find jobs and meanwhile, the small shop that I run as well as our savings in the bank can keep us alive. You don’t have to worry anymore. We’re already stable.”

“You’re making it sound like I’m already useless,” Suzy whined with a cute pout.

“Of course not,” her mother chuckled. Her mother took Suzy’s hand and gently squeezed it as she added with a sigh, “I don’t know what I did to deserve a daughter as kind and as good as you. I admit that there are times that my heart aches but not because you were a disappointment, but because you would always sacrifice yourself for us. There are times that you would make me worry not because you cause troubles but because you’re spending too much of your life on conforming to the world’s standards… and I’m afraid, even in loving.

Tears were already b in Suzy’s eyes as she continued listening to her mother who looked straight onto her eyes and requested, “This time, forget about everyone including us, Sehun and Myungsoo. Forget about the whole world, Suzy. Just go and chase your happiness.”

Suzy was crying but she still smiled and asked, “Do you really think so?”

“Hmmm,” her mother assured her with a nod and a smile and brushed the tears that fell on the girl’s cheeks.

Suzy then wiped her tears and rubbed her eyes. A small chuckle escaped her lips as she told her mother, “I bet if father was still here and he knew that Sehun and Myungsoo both broke my heart, he’d say that he’d just kill both of them so that I wouldn’t have trouble choosing.”

Her mother laughed along with her as they could both pictured Suzy’s father’s grumblings. However, as silence replaced their laughter, Mrs. Bae posted a question for Suzy that the latter pondered on for the whole night.

“Are you sure that your choices of pursuing your happiness are just limited to two?”

While Sehun was busy treating his wounds, Soojung did nothing after that night but get drunk. When she was sober, she would be worried about Sehun’s condition especially that the bruises and cuts on his face were still healing. Honestly, Sehun would have want to drink away all his problems too but he couldn’t do so for Soojung would empty the bottles for him and furthermore, it would be difficult if both of them were too drunk. On this rare night, however, when Soojung still wouldn’t stop drinking without him joining, Sehun fulfilled her request, promising himself that he would not go beyond his alcohol tolerance.

“Soojung, we’ve finished all the bottles,” he told her. “Let’s stop here, please?”

“N-No. We could still buy more,” Soojung exclaimed before struggling to stand up. However, the alcohol had already temporarily erased her sense of balance. She whined, “Everything’s spinning. This must be Earth’s rotation.”

Even before her body could sprawl on the floor, Sehun caught her. Soojung hiccupped before staring at the male and smiling, she told him, “As always, Oh Sehun is really reliable.”

She hangs on him for balance before she suggested, “Since you can still walk straight, why don’t you go to the store instead?”

“No, Soojung. I won’t leave you alone here in that kind of state,” Sehun argued.

“Afraid that I might kill myself or somebody else?” Soojung taunted with an evil smirk.

“Don’t say that so easily,” Sehun furrowed his eyebrows.

Soojung laughed hysterically in reply, making her lose her balance once more and stumble. Again, Sehun had grabbed her arms before she could fall and then, he wasted no time and carried her in his arms. As if on instinct, Soojung’s hands flew to the back of Sehun’s neck. She just stared at the male as he carried her to the only bedroom in his unit which she had been occupying for weeks. They were already by the bed when Sehun turned to meet Soojung’s intense gaze which made him temporarily frozen.

He could already taste the alcohol with her breath fanning his face. Soojung was such in a close proximity with him that their noses almost brushed against each other. Soojung’s hand then cupped his face lightly, her thumb caressing his cheek tenderly. Her eyes were fluttering as she leaned in to capture the male’s lips.

But Sehun turned the other way, avoiding the kiss.

A small smile played on Soojung’s lips as she pushed him away, knowing that the bed would catch her body. She comfortably lied before her stares found Sehun again and she asked, “Sehun, why do you care so much about me? Why are you still here even after everything?”

Sehun then sat at the edge of the bed and replied with an assuring smile, “You are my best friend, Soojung.”

Soojung closed her eyes and chuckled, “Those words… before, they tasted so disgustingly bitter in your mouth, right? But now, you find relief in the truth behind them.”

There was silence before the girl reached for his hand and softly asked him, “Please sleep with me for tonight, Sehun.”

“Soojung, we both drank – “

“Just sleep,” Soojung promise him. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

And the seriousness in Soojung’s eyes made Sehun doubt for a little while if she was really drunk. Giving in, he lied beside her and it didn’t take long for Soojung to come closer towards him, snuggling onto his chest.

“The world is so cold,” she whispered. “But you’re here to keep me warm.”

Sehun let out a genuine smile before his hands framed Soojung’s body, hugging the girl as careful as he could. Silence lingered before they were replaced by Soojung’s sobs and suddenly, she blurted out her insecurities that were eating her sanity all along.

“Mom is right. I should never have been born. My whole existence is nothing but a disappointment,” she cried. “No one can love me whole. Nobody wants Jung Soojung, not even Myungsoo, not even my parents. I am a failure in everyone’s eyes, including my own.”

The male said nothing but just hugged her tighter, hushing her – stopping her from hurting herself further, trying to convey to her that she had him, maybe in the way that was unlike before, but she for