Saturday

Dara woke up due to the ringing phone place on her bed side table. She sleepily answered it, eyes still close. “Hello.”

“Hey.” He said with a husky voice.

“Jiyong?” She muttered, and her eyes flushed open automatically. She knows it was him but she was confused on why he’s calling.

“Take a shower. You have a schedule to your OB today.” He informed. He doesn’t sound excited but the fact that he called her on her phone early in the morning already makes her want to assume that he is. A smile crept on her face. What a good morning to start with after the frustrating events yesterday until last night that makes her whole body and soul feel heavy.

“Okay.” She said her voice become uncontrollably thin.

“I’ll see you in thirty minutes.” It doesn’t sound a question but a command.

“Okay.” She answered right away and gladly he can’t see how wide the smile pasted on her face right now. After thirty minutes she was wearing the new clothes that they bought yesterday, she was surprise that everything was already put on her closet. And she’s pretty sure that it is him who did it or who asked for it for maids to do. That was thoughtful of him, if ever.

Dara walks out to her unit and doorbell Jiyong’s unit adjacent to hers. The door opened right away and she loves the fact that he was ready. She smiles at him but the guy doesn’t smile back. He just wearing his usual stoic face but she doesn’t care because she already used to it.

When they’re both inside the car Jiyong asked her. “How’s your feeling?”

“Good.” She lied because the truth is, the heavy feeling she has since last night is still enveloping her whole self until now. It’s like she’s walking on her way back to her past where her guilt started to eat her up. Meeting Jaejoong is not what you can just forget after one night of sleep.

“You sure?” he seems can see it that he’s doubting her answer. Is she that transparent?

Dara glanced at him and shook her head, she wants to look okay. Jiyong furrowed. “I’m actually nervous.” She said instead, another lie.

“Nervous about what?” he curiously asked. She loves it when his curious about her. So she thinks for the best answer for that.

“Hmm..About the results of the test that your Aunt Gummy will do to me later.” She replied, but she suddenly realized that she really is concerned about it. “I don’t think this week will change anything about the result last week.” Jiyong didn’t say anything and just focus on his drive. “I’m nervous that it might be worst.” She added.

***

“This.Is.Terrible.”

Jiyong and Dara hang their heads low like little children scolded by their parents.

“What did you two do this past whole week?” Gummy frustratingly said, her forehead is wrinkled while looking down the paper results of Dara’s test they just did an hour ago. “This is bad, really bad. I think your mother needs to know about this…”

“No. Please.” Jiyong interrupted her sentence right away. “Not now.”

Gummy shook her head unbelievably. “Do you even know you’re killing him?” the two stiffened at their seats. Surely she was talking about the baby inside Dara. “Look at this.” Gummy threw the tests result paper in the table in front of them and they all stared at it. “He's too weak! You two terribly need guidance because you both dreadfully failing to do what parents should do for their child.” She was trying her best not to let her anger overcome her in front of them but she failed. “I think you need your parents now.”

“No aunt please.” Jiyong said, leaning forward as he pleads to his aunt not to tell to his parents yet. Dara on the other hand grip her hands against her knees. Hearing him pleading about it is crumpling her like paper.

“But you need help!” Gummy grumbled as her palms slammed flat on the table.

“That’s why we’re here. That’s why we run to you.” Jiyong answered. “Because I know you’re the only person who can help us.”

Gummy shook her head as she calms herself. “I’m doing my best to help you guys but what are you doing? This papers shows I’m not helping at all.” She frustratingly slump her back on the couch. “Tell me Jiyong. What is the reason for hiding her to everyone?” Gummy asked him in full curiosity. “What’s the reason behind this situation that it needs to be hidden?”

“It’s not time for this yet.” He tepidly said. “They’ll be disappointed.”

“And when do you think is the right time for this?” Gummy raised her eyebrow. “One more week and she’ll be in her fifth month. Do you even have a plan to tell this to your parents?”

Jiyong looked down. His so not ready in this kind of conversation yet. He can’t think of what is right thing to do. Too confused of what is right and wrong.

“I don’t know.” He said in a low voice. Dara bit her inner lip when she heard his answer. It hurts her to hear that Jiyong don’t know what to do to her. That he’s still in the level of not wanting anything beside his past. He cannot accept what present and the future he has and will have. He was drowned from his past love where he always wanted to be.

Gummy groaned and sighed exasperatedly. “You need to accept this Jiyong. You can’t change what happened. You can’t go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen.” She watched the two hang their heads low once again. “Acceptance is the key for you to live with it Jiyong.”

“Even though we don’t like it?” he asked in an almost whisper voice.

“Yeah, even though you don’t like it.” Gummy said in a compressed tone.

Dara was trying hard to restrain her tears from falling. His words are too sharp to not wound her.

“Why?” he asked as he looked up to Gummy. “Why do I need to accept a thing that is not right?”

“Because you’re the one who did it. You made it Jiyong. It’s your responsibility now.”

“I’m already doing my best to do my responsibilities.” He glanced at Dara who he expects to agree with him but the girl is unmoving on her seat. Her hair is covering both side of her face so he can’t distinguish her expression.

“I don’t think I can see that. You’re too afraid to grab it.” Gummy opposed.

“I’m not afraid to grab it. I just don’t like it but I’m trying. I’m financing her, I gave her shelter, and I provide what she needs. Is that still not enough?” he asked in a tone that Dara would like to ask God to make her deaf at the moment. If only she can do something to make herself not to listen to what he was saying right now because it was too painful to hear from the mouth of the one you love that he doesn’t like you at all. That he sounds like he was asking for you to go away and be gone in his life.

“It’s not enough.” Gummy muttered. “Taking responsibility is not all about the things you give. This girl you got pregnant needs care and love.”

Jiyong let out a fake laugh. “Love?” he rake his fingers through his hair. “You’re asking me to love her just because I have responsibilities to her.”

“No.” Gummy quickly said while giving him a strong glare because his not getting what she meant. “I’m not saying you to love her, not her specifically. If you can’t really do that.” She apologetically glanced at Dara. She pity how hard for her to hear all of this but both of them needs to endure the consequences that the two of them started.

“Then what are you trying to say now?” Jiyong impatiently asked.

Gummy sighed and said.“At least give the love to the child. You’re the one who made him so you need to accept him, fully.”

Jiyong shut his eyes then opens it after a few seconds. “I know.” He mumbled as he placed his elbows to his knees while his fingers are clasping in front of him. “Don’t worry I’m not really planning to abandon him. I made him, there’s no way I will run away and not take any responsibility.” He said in all seriousness.

Gummy shook her head. “You’re not really getting what I’m trying to say here.”

Jiyong groaned "I get it. Okay.”

“Then tell me what I’m telling you.”

“You want me to care and give him love.”

“Yes. And that’s what you also need to do dear.” Gummy shifted her gazed to Dara who takes time to finally realize that Gummy was now talking to her. So she looked up and stared straight at her with teary eyes. “Dara..” Gummy called her name once again to completely get her attention. “You need to accept him.” Gummy said. “As the mother of that child you’re the first one who needs to do that. If you don’t…. you will lose him. Baby feels what their mother feels, always remember that. You might be not ready for having it or you might be hating being pregnant but you can’t change it anymore. No matter how much you don’t like it.” Gummy then now shifted her gaze to Jiyong, who also staring back at her. “In any decision, in all the wrong things that you’ve done there’s always a way how to make it right. Choices are always available you only have to do is to choose the right one.”

“What do you think the choices we have right now?” Jiyong asked her.

“Accept it or leave it.” Gummy replied. “If you have the will to just leave it you can do it anytime I’m just here to tell you that the right choice her is acceptance.” Both went silent as they continue to listen on what Gummy was trying them to understand. “The baby needs to feel the love from both of you if you wanted him to be okay, if you wanted him to live and still see the world. You two need to accept him fully. Here’s your other choices. Kill him or keep him alive.” The tears that Dara was restraining since they sat on the clinic couch finally streamed down on her cheeks.

“Of course we want him alive.” Jiyong said in a low voice.

“That’s good to hear” Gummy stared at both of them for a moment. Then she straightened up but her eyes never leave them. “Okay” she uttered. “I’ll give you another chance.” The two looked up to her with furrowed eyes. “I want to see changes after this week. Good changes specifically. If still nothing happens….” She eyed Jiyong. “…I’m the one who’s going to reveal this to your parents even though I don’t want it to come from me because it will be my conscience if you choose the wrong choice. So…is that a deal?” she asked.

The two take time to answer until Jiyong gave her a nod and said “Okay.”

***

Acceptance is the hardest to do. And that was Jiyong was struggling about all this time. That is why it’s hard for him to move on either. He can’t take the things that are happening in his life right now. It’s giving him disaster.

But he didn’t yet realize the reason why he was having a hard time. And that is because he was too immersed in everything that he has in his past and too eager of wanting everything back to him. He was too engrossed in missing the life he has before where everything is under his control. He was too plunged by the love he has before when he can smile and live happily. But he didn’t know the things that might happen IF ONLY he can accept everything even though it started wrong.

“So..” Jiyong said while chewing the grilled fish he just put inside his mouth. They are having their lunch on some restaurant that they just drop by after the clinic visit. “We need to talk about this.” He muttered after swallowing his food. Dara on the other was surprised on his sudden wanting to talk.

“What do we need to talk about?” she asked after drinking her orange juice.

Jiyong rolled his eyes. “Plan.”

“Plan? About what?”

Jiyong paused as he stared at her with furrowed eyes. “Are you even listening to Aunt Gummy a while ago?” he asked, irritated.

“Of course.” She said unaffected by his annoyed tone. She actually wanted to forget everything she heard a while ago from him.  When he was pleading to Gummy to not tell to his parents about her and when he answered he doesn’t know what to do to her. It just sounds like that she’s some kind of thing that he was keeping but he doesn’t really have intention of doing anything for her all this time. Everybody has no idea how much Dara wants to throw every word he said out of the universe so that it won’t bother her mind, soul and heart anymore.

“We need to do the effort as the responsible people for the child.” He said, too cautious in his words. When he can simply say ‘We need to take care of our child.’ But he refused to utter those words because obviously he can’t still accept it that Dara was carrying their child.

“Okay.” She shortly replied, still struggling not to burst into tears whenever his sharp words are like slicing her skin and flesh. Why can’t you just accept everything?

“So this is how the plan goes.” Jiyong muttered and Dara quickly looked at him. Expecting something good came out from that honest mouth that keeps wounding her. “Let’s take care of him from now on. Like normal parents.”

There’s a pause before she asked. “What is it like to be a normal parent?”

Jiyong gave her a very disapproving look. “Seriously?”

“I live all my life without a mother. I live all my life with a selfless father. What do you think my idea about being a normal parent?”

Jiyong looked away, realizing that he was wrong about thinking that it’s going to be easy for both of them if they only work together for the child she was carrying. “I’m sorry.” He sighed.

“I’m sorry too.” She apologetically murmured.

“It’s okay. Not your fault.” He returned his eyes on her. “We just need to do everything to make him better. Don’t worry I’ll help you. All you have to do is forget all the worries and problems you’re dealing with.” He said as if it an easy thing to do.

Dara wrinkled her forehead. “How would I do that? Don’t worry? And forget my problems?”

“I’ll help you.” He said while his face expression lightens up with a brand new idea he came up with. “All you have to do is get along with it.” Dara tilted her head at him as she listens. “But I have one rule.” He said.

“What rule?”

“Don’t take everything seriously.” Dara tried to understand what he was talking about. “I mean I’m just going to be father to him, so don’t think anything beyond that.”

She was having a hard time to process everything he was trying to say until it hit her. “Are you telling me not to assume?”

“If that the girls word for that. Yes.” He said and Dara didn’t say anything she just stared straight at him. He didn’t say it in point but that’s how it means. That she’s not allowed to fall in love with him. “You all have to do is take care of yourself. Like making yourself healthy and stress free while I’m helping you out.”

“How will you help me then?” she asked, still eyes on him.

“Just do everything I say.” Dara look straight at him like she’s not liking his idea at all but the guy shrugged her stare off. “Let’s start now, I want you to eat everything on your plate.” he said authoritatively. Dara looked down on her food and she was having the urge to pour it on top of his head right now. “Is that what you called helping? Ordering me around?” she pursed her lips in annoyance. He can be so blood boiling human being if he really wants to. How dare him! She haven’t move up yet even a step on her mission of making him fall in love with her but he was trying to crash her already by telling all this things to her.

“Then tell me what to do then?” he said, challenging Dara what else she can suggest on their situation besides on what he came up with. “If you can think of other ways to make this work between us, just tell me and I will gladly think about it.”

Dara balled her hands into fist under the table. She wanted to say what she really wanted to happen between them where no rules, no boundaries, no past pulling him away from her, no hiding, no secrets, no worries about his parents would think once they knew, no reasons why he cannot love her back. But she kept shut, afraid that those things she wanted to happen might be the reason why she can’t be with him anymore. At least with this kind of set up, they will keep contact with each other even though the only reason he has why he’s beside her is his child she’s carrying.

“This is the fairest solution I can think of Dara. Where both of us can freely breathe, there’s no reason for us to prison ourselves since we don’t really like each other.” Dara would like to say ‘But I like you’ but her lips are unmoving and paralyzed. She was just frozen in her seat as she takes everything he was saying. “I want this to work.” He added, sincerely. “And I’m expecting to have your full cooperation in here. Remember this is not for me. We’re doing this for the baby.” He lastly said.

For the baby.

When Jiyong finished paying the bill his phone rings and he answered it without looking who’s the caller is. “Kwon.” He said.

The other line talk. “Chaerin. What’s the problem?” he immediately asked. Dara watched him as she was curious what might be they were talking about.

“Okay. Right now?.......where?....okay…..I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He said and glanced at Dara and gestured her that they’re now leaving. “Is that Chaerin? What happened?” she asked while she follows him walking out from the restaurant.

“Seunghyun’s parents already found out that their son is missing.”

“Oh my god.” She mumbled in surprise.

“They already talked to Chaerin.” He informed her while briskly walking towards his car.

“What did they say?” Dara asked, following him.

“That’s what we’re going to know. We’re meeting her now. Get in the car.” He said as he opened the passenger seat for Dara. She climbed in and immediately buckled up her seat belt. Once Jiyong was already inside the car, the engine roared and they went straight to the meeting place.

ANDHERE CAFE

"What happened?" Jiyong asked Chaerin, who was now seating in front of him while Dara was on his side.

"They went to our house and asked about their son." She answered, while sipping her pineapple juice in a very calm way.

"What did you tell them?” Jiyong asked and his voice sounds alarmed. Why not? Bom is undeniably attached to this situation.

"I said I don’t know." She uttered unruffled.

“And?”

“And of course they didn’t believe me.” She answered, shrugging while she sips again on her juice.

“Do you think they already knew Bom was also missing?” Jiyong worriedly asked, his shoulders are tense.

“They are.” Chaerin said then bite her cupcake in very lady like way. “Actually…” she said after swallowing the food she just chewed. “The Choi’s already started to look for them now.”

Jiyong slump his back on the back of his chair. Massaging his forehead. He looks very worried. “What are you worried about Mr. Kwon?” Chaerin asked and give him a questioning look. Dara waited for his answer also.

“This will get them into trouble. I already told them but they don’t listen. They’re so stubborn.” He said in annoyance.

“Love is always stubborn.” Chaerin muttered as a matter of factly.

“Their love won’ get them anywhere.” Jiyong uttered in bitterness. Chaerin eyed him.

“Don’t you trust their love?” she asked, in her whole body was actually cringing in the topic they are talking about right now.

Jiyong let out unauthentic chuckles. “Why should I?”

“Excuse me?”Chaerin looked at him in perplexed. “As far as I remember you’re the same person who helped them to escape last Thursday. Why are you acting like a biter ex-lover or something?”

“Because I am.” He said confidently.

“You are?” Chaerin look at Jiyong and Dara unbelievably. Jiyong nodded while Dara just gave her a small smile. “Wow. You just helped your ex to be with her present love. How dramatic was that.” She said still daze by the revelation.

“It was all because I love her. She’s the one who asked me to help her and because I’m stupid I help her.” Jiyong muttered.

“Do you regret it?”

“Of course I do. Who wants to send the one he loves far away from him? No one right? But things just end up like that. I need to do it for her because that’s what she wants.”

“I salute you for surviving the pain.” Chaerin giggled.

Jiyong rolled his eyes. “Oh you have no idea.”

***

After hearing the news from Chaerin that the Choi’s already found out about the escape of their son last Thursday and they’re now silently looking for them. Kwon Jiyong was completely worried about it. Dara could only watch him furrowed his eyes every now and then. The whole afternoon until dinner, he was in his full range of anxiety.

Dara get up from the bar stool to get something to drink on the refrigerator and she only found an orange juice. She look back to Jiyong wanting to ask him if he wanted orange juice but she doubt that he’ll answer her. He seems out of this world, silent in his seat while his eyes are only focus on the food in his plate. So she just serves water for herself and a glass of orange juice for Kwon Jiyong.

When he said he was going to do his responsibility, Dara expect him to do that right away. But what the hell was this? After hearing news about Bom, he was now once again back to his dungeon. He’s such a fat liar! Is this the help he was offering her? The plan he was proud of? He just said he wanted this to work but what is he doing? He’s completely forgetting about her already………about their child.

“I’m stress.” Dara blurted out. Jiyong finally looked up to her, his brain process what she said first in five seconds before he realized what she was trying to say. He shut his eyes in frustration. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it.” he raked his hair through his fingers. “Do you want anything else beside this salmon?” he asked in guilt. Dara nodded. “What else do you want?” Jiyong got alarmed.

‘You’ She wanted to say that but of course she didn’t. “I want milk.” She said instead.

“Okay.” He said and abruptly went to the refrigerator to check if there’s milk in it but his shook his head in disappointment that there’s no milk in there. He looked back to Dara and asked her. “Do you want orange juice instead?” he asked.

Dara look straight at him, upset. Didn’t he notice what she’s been doing around him a while ago? She then ignored his question and just continued her eating. Jiyong watched her and then his eyes darted on the orange juice that was serve near his plate, realizing that his totally out of his mind. “I’m sorry.” He said once again.

“It’s okay.” Dara said focusing on her food. No of course it’s not okay. The first day of supposed to be doing their responsibilities for the baby once again failed. How many times should they try for this to work for both of them? When she first asked him for financial support before he wholly accepted it and gave her everything but not more than that. When they found out about the danger of her pregnancy they both got alarmed by it, got worried about it. But worrying about it was not enough. They can’t do what they need to do because they both not fully accepting what they created yet. Acceptance is the way, if not, denying and leaving everything behind was the other way.

"I'm sorry." He said once again. He walked towards Dara and stand beside her. Dara stiffined when she noticed him standing so close where she was sitting already. What is he doing? "I'll try my best to not make this happen again." he said while she froze. "I just thought that we only have months to do this together before he come out from you so I think we better do this right before its too late or else we'll loose him." Jiyong flat his palm on her belly which startled her. "His my son. I don't want to lose him. So I'm going to be the best father I can be before he see me and the world where I live."

Even if his words are selfish that its only all about him and the baby, Dara can't help but smile and feel relieved on how his choice of words changes now. She can't be wrong that she heard it from him.......the words 'father' and 'son'. Now, if change happen. Is it wrong to hope to be included in his words in future?