Author’s Note:

In this chapter, Amber and Krystal are going to remember some things, when you see the: italics with underline, it means a memory, for the thoughts it will be same but with: *italic underline*. With my signature of the background song kids :D, enjoy and please…read it slowly.

Amber’s POV:

I walk out of the building, the tears were running down my face, burning my insides. Even when I think about it, I was hoping that I was wrong, I wish to be wrong.

How could I even think that I will be strong?

I sigh cleaning my face, I swallow the lump on my throat. I breathe trying to calm me down. The memory come to me, hitting me like a punch on my stomach, it literally punch the air of my lungs out.

“Hey Jong, can you tell me the name of the song that you like a lot from Maroon 5?” I ask excited to my brother

“Why?” He ask me while rising his eyebrow

“I’m doing Krystal’s gift for Valentine’s day. Also with the NYU thing, I want to give her something special, I want to write her a letter, so she could read it when I’m far away” I explain to Jong

“That’s so sweet Baby Dino” Jong stood up and start searching for something

“Here, why don’t you listen these cd’s? I think it would be better if you, in fact, search for a song for her instead of using my favorite one” Jong ruffle my hair while sitting on the bed again

“Okay, thanks bro” I smile at him and made my way to my room.

I sit on my bed, I put my earphones and listen the music, most of the songs were good, but one caught my ear. Literally make my mouth dry, the sincerity of the song seem so pure. I start thinking that maybe it was a good idea that she will read the lyrics.

*I guess that we’re going to have some problems, I want her to be happy…but if she can’t be happy with me far away, at least she should know what I feel.*

I wrote the lyrics on the notebook pages, I write some stuff and add a picture of me, a picture I took of me for her.

“Hey, are you okay kid?” The tall boy named Changming was looking at me weird

“Yeah…I got…I got a pain on my chest” I say with shame

“Hey, it’s okay kid, you know that those pains are the most usual? You just need to breathe and ask yourself if the pain is precious, if it is, then you should realize that the love you feel is big if it doesn’t feel like that then…is not worth to cry. Love is like a flower kid, sometimes the flower die but it doesn’t mean that it’s dead forever. The flowers always can reborn again…but you need to keep looking at that flower until you’re sure it’s dead, otherwise it could be that the flower freeze ´til her roots and then she had die forever” The tall boy was talking while looking at the sky

“You understand what I mean?” He ask me with a smile

I just node softly, I feel so dizzy, so mad, so sad. But I could understand what the boy was trying to say to me. I was going to clean my tears with my hand when I feel a soft hand cleaning my face. In front of me was Miss V. she look at me with a smile.

“Amber…Bùyào fàngqì, rúguǒ nǐ fàngqìle tā shì yóuyú qián, wǒ hěn yíhàn, nǐ de shēnghuó. Bùyào fàngqì, zhídào nǐ zhīdào nǐ gěile nǐ zuì hǎo de” Miss Victoria speak to me in Chinese.

“Okay…I will Miss V…thank you” I mumble to the tall boy

When I was getting inside the restaurant I hear Miss Victoria saying “I love you” to the tall boy in Chinese.

That could explain why she was so happy

I got inside the restaurant just when Krystal end the song. I went to sit at my place and smile at her. I play along to make her feel secure even when I knew that the only way she could have listen that song was because she read the letter. After all, Krystal wasn’t a big fan from Maroon 5 to know that song. I continue eating telling myself I was alright, that everything was alright.

When we were leaving I notice the table where Sull and Krystal were. I notice a girl who seem really bond to Krystal. I turn away and start talking to Henry. He even told me that Krystal try to catch my attention but I just smile at him and tell him I was tired.

After I get home, I went directly to my room. I sit on the bed and I stared at the guitar that Krystal gave me. I feel like I should try to expose my feelings with music. But when I thought of music I remember that I didn’t know where Suzy lives or her phone. I really need someone to live with me to share the cost of the apartment.

“I guess I’ll call T.O.P. tomorrow, maybe Bom has her phone” I mumble to myself while grabbing the guitar.

I sit on the floor trying to think in a song that could fit the situation. I heard Fanny arriving at home but I ignore it. I got up and close my room. I sit on the floor again, I could feel the big lump of concern, sadness, bitterness and more on my throat. I smile remembering a song I just to listen when I just enter High School.

I don’t wanna know

I don’t wanna know

Your eyes were covered in sunglasses

When they first met mine

I sat there and stared at you

You didn’t seem to mind

The awkward ways we meet

“Emm Hi, my name is Amber. Are you okay? You look pale” I speak with a low voice noting the nervous and pale face in front of me

 “Oh yeah yeah, I’m Krystal but I’m not a senior” she spoke suddenly then her eyes got big like she was scared

 “Oh, you’re lost? ‘Cause I can help you” I look at her confuse

 “Yeah, I’m lost I’m sorry for bother you…am what was your name?” she seems been spacing out when I introduce myself

 “Ha-ha its okay relax. My name is Amber Liu; do you have the number of your classroom?” I reply with a smile to her

“Oh yeah, I have it here…Oh by the way my name is Krystal, Krystal Jung” she handle me the tiny paper while smiling at me

I scort her to her classroom, she was so cute yet a little intimidating. I told her where she could eat, where the library was and the location of the gym. After all, she will have to go there. I went to my classroom feeling completely satisfied from helping her.

*Her beautiful face pop in my mind practically the entire day, until I met Sull, then everything seem so magic*

First comes heavy breathing

Staring at the ceiling

What will happen next

I don’t wanna know

I don’t wanna know

*The first time she knock me out of air was that time at the movie theater*

“Amber?” Krystal was whispering to my ear.

“Yes?” I whisper her back

“You can hold my hand if you get scared” She told me and then she just smile.

“Thank you” I reply.

I never cared how I dressed before

But I cared that night

Anticipation ran through my bones

And my clothes never fit right

I can’t wait til we meet again

*I was so nervous on our first date, I think and over think about what to wear, how to act, I feel so insecure back then…maybe I’m still insecure*

“Hey baby dino, what are you going to wear?” Hae ask me

“Well I have a new pair of black tight jeans and I can wear my black tank top with a shirt. I put my red with black snickers.” I said slowly re-thinking.

“Wow, you indeed want this date you been thinking what to wear” Fanny giggle.

“Oh and don’t wear a hat Am, I’m pretty sure she wants to see your beautiful face” Jong conclude the subject of clothing.

First comes heavy breathing

Staring at the ceiling

What will happen next

I don’t wanna know

I don’t wanna know

*The first time we kiss was magic, it wasn’t a big kiss, it was more like a peck that evolve to something deeper, but I could have die happy with the peck*

“Are you going to kiss me or should I kiss you?” Krystal said with a smirk.

*She have always been a little naughty*

Framed pictures start to be put on the walls

Constant visits while I’m out on the road

It’s hard to leave sometimes

But you know where I lay my head a night

*Our date at my cousin’s café, the silly game we start to play, the pictures we took of us. Our date with Jessica eating ice cream*

Everything was passing by in front of me like a movie, where I knew the character so well…too well…

First comes heavy breathing

Staring at the ceiling

What will happen next

I don’t wanna know

I don’t wanna know

The time Minho kiss her and I kick his , the time I break up with her. The time I almost lose her. Our first monthsary, our little fights of jealous. Every time she made me cookies. The way she always smile at me. Every time we play catch. Every single time when I saw her eyes, when I kiss her…the movie was ending…and I feel like the ending will be something bad…

First comes heavy breathing

Staring at the ceiling

What will happen next

I don’t wanna know

I don’t wanna know

I don’t wanna know…

I end up the song feeling relief for getting everything from my chest. But the weirdest thing it was that I feel like I’ve already have give everything.

“Should I keep trying?” The question itself makes me dizzy

Krystal…should I?

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IDH5-a-cCM&ob=av2e– I don’t wanna know: New Found Glory)

Krystal’s POV:

I sat on the table while Sully, Daesung and Jiyoung were celebrating that I got the nerve to sing in front of the restaurant. I feel so scared, so nervous.

But she said she didn’t hear me, look like she was outside, what was she doing outside?

“Kry Kry are you okay?” Jiyoung ask me while grabbing my hand

“Yeah, I just got a little nervous” I lie

“Hey you say hello to someone over there right?” Sull ask me while eating her pizza slice

“Yeah…Amber, Jong, Key, Henry and Bora are there” I reply softly

“Oh, so you guys know my cousin? That’s pretty cool” Daesung answer with smile

“I think that you deserve a price young lady, choose a gift card please” A slender waitress came with gift cards.

A price for singing something I should have not known…

“This one it’s fine” I mumble grabbing the gift card from the lasagna special

“Alright then, congratulations, you and your girl can come every day of the week” The waitress point at Jiyoung

What? We…we look like a couple?

“We’re not a couple, we’re friends” Jiyoung correct

“Oh, my bad. But still you can come every day. Enjoy the rest of the evening” The waitress left us there in an awkward silence

We keep eating, after a while I notice Amber leave, she was talking with Henry, it seem like she ignore me when I try to call her attention. I just sigh and continue eating with my friends.

Because that’s all they are for me, friends…Jiyoung is just…a friend?

After I arrive at my house, I feel so weird, I feel like I’ve betray Amber. I lie to her a few days ago, I lie to her today, I broke the promise to not read the letter. And the worst thing is that I feel like every time I’m with Jiyoung I’m cheating on Amber.

I sit on my bed and grab the letter she wrote for me. I start reading all over again.

And the letter…you only can read it when you feel like you don’t want to be with me anymore ok? You can’t read it in other situation” Amber’s voice ring on my ear.

I read the letter because I feel that way, but it wasn’t fair right? Amber was trying her best to keep me on her life. To be with me, but I feel so neglected…No, I just feel confuse…

“I know there is a big chance we will break up, but I want you to know that even if that happen, I won’t forget you or blame you. You will always be my first real love, my first time and the biggest lock on the chain of my life” Amber voice was making feel dizzy

I remember when I read the letter, I was so shocked because I’ve lie to Amber, well it was more like I didn’t tell her that I spent the whole morning with Jiyoung.

(The letter will be on bold and italic)

Krys:

I know that this moment it feels like you can’t breathe, like you can even think further but let me tell you that…I don’t blame you. I’m pretty sure that if you’re reading this letter it’s because you came to the point when you can take it anymore, you can take the distance, the loneliness anymore and I’m sorry for doing this to you, I’m sorry for making you feel sad, for making you cry. I’m sorry for not been enough, again, for you.

But you need to know, you know I’m not exactly good when it comes to say what I feel, but I found the song that say what I feel. Is this baby, if you want to hear it, the name is “Goodnight, goodnight” by Maroon 5:

You left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together

I’ve my wounds but I can’t ever see them getting better

Something’s gotta change

Things cannot stay the same

Her hair was pressed against her face, her eyes were red with anger

Enraged by thing unsaid and empty beds and bad behavior

Something’s gotta change

It must be rearranged, oh

I’m sorry, I did not mean ti hurt my little girl

It’s beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world

So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight

Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah

Whoa

The room was silent as we all tried so hard to remember

The way it feels to be alive

The day that he first met her

Something’s gotta change

Things cannot stay the same

You make me think of someone wonderful, but I can’t place her

I wake up every morning wishing one more time to face her

Something’s gotta change

It must be rearranged, oh

I’m sorry, I did not mean ti hurt my little girl

It’s beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world

So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight

Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah

Whoa

So much to learn

But I won’t be there to teach you, oh

I know I can’t be close

But I try my best to reach you

I’m sorry, I did not mean it hurt my little girl

It’s beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world

So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight

Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah

Whoa

Yeah, oh

This is how I feel Krystal, because I can’t let you be unhappy with me, I prefer you been happy with someone else. Because you’re so young Krys, you’re going to find someone that’s better than me, someone that could understand you more. You will find someone that make you smile even more than me. So don’t cry, don’t blame yourself. We knew deep inside of us we probably will face this one day, again.

Krystal, I just ask you, I beg you. Please don’t forget me, don’t forget all the things we’ve been through. Never forget how much I love you, how much you make me happy. Don’t forget our first time, don’t forget that you…

You’re the biggest lock on my life, you will always be…

I love you Krystal Jung…I’m sorry

I hope…I pray for us to meet again…in other circumstances…

The day I read it for the first time I fell on the floor crying, trying to understand why I have read it, why I was thinking on breaking up with her. Then I remember other thing.

“No, I was thinking in how lucky I am for having Krystal, the truth is that I was thinking in how Krystal somehow had changed in front of me, she is now the most beautiful woman in the world and she is mine” Amber’s huge grin make me smile that day.

I cry harder when I remember why she said the day we have brunch after Valentine ’s Day.

I stood up and went towards the desk, I place the letter there, I read it so many times already I knew it by memory. I was crying, I was so selfish; I was so young and stupid. I’ve put my relationship on a place I couldn’t know if it will last, if it will survive.

I sit on the floor and then I collapse, I lie on it. I start to cry harder feeling like my lungs were colliding inside me. I hit the floor, I should have know, that the only one could end this was me. I’ve put in doubt everything I have with Amber and know I was sure of something…

I’m the one to blame…only me

[Bùyào fàngqì, rúguǒ nǐ fàngqìle tā shì yóuyú qián, wǒ hěn yíhàn, nǐ de shēnghuó. Bùyào fàngqì, zhídào nǐ zhīdào nǐ gěile nǐ zuì hǎo de.

It means:  Do not give up, if you give up before its right, you will regret your whole life. Do not give up until you know you have give your best.]

Author’s POV:

Amber was lying on the floor of her room trying to think what to do. She didn’t even notice that Fanny was looking at her from the door frame. She just continues sighing and mumbling non sense things trying to solve the situation. She has been repeating that everything is alright, that everything will be alright. Maybe if she repeats that to herself, somehow she is going to believe it.

On her side, Krystal had stop crying but she was still lying on the floor, she was drawing invisible hearts and circles on the floor with her index finger, it makes her calm down. Amber knew this, she always start drawing circles on the back of her hand or on her back when they’re together and she feels upset.

After a while both of them get up and sit on their beds. Seems like something is wrong but they just note it. They feel like it’s a sick joke from destiny, if destiny exists.

Krystal grab her cell phone and call her, she needs to say something, she needs to talk. She needs her.

Amber was walking slowly towards a house, she feel so upset, so mad…she feels betray, but everything fades away when she see someone familiar on the door steps.

Her cell phone starts ringing then.

[

• Hello?
• Am-mb-ber…
• What’s wrong Kyrstal?

Amber’s voice was so calm, even when she was dying from the inside, she was involve in anger and bitterness, but she wasn’t going to give her away.

• Can we…can we see each other?
• It’s kind of late Krystal…are you okay?
• No…I’m not…I just…need to hug you
• Something happen?

Krystal hugs her pillow while trying to suppress her sobbing, she doesn’t want to Amber heard her crying. She then heard someone getting upstairs.

• I just miss you, I feel like I treat you kind of cold lately, I just want to spend some time together.
• Oh, it’s okay baby, I know you’re upset because I’m leaving. I understand…are you alone at home?
• No, Jessie is here. Why?
• Oh, no reason. I was curious.
• Amber…
• Mhhh

Just when she was going to say something, Jessie appears on her door frame with Jiyoung. Krystal’s voice stuck on , she was surprise to see Jiyoung there. Not when she needs to understand what was going on.

“Hey Krys, this girl say she is your friend, she say that you forget this” Jessie walk towards her while giving her a picture frame she bought before.

• Krystal? Are you there?
• Yes…I…Amber I…
• Krys, I have to go…mom is calling me downstairs, I see you tomorrow at school…remember you promise to help me in my Chinese project. Bye
• Bye…
• …beep beep]

I’m the one to blame…only me

  “Kry Kry is everything okay? Did you and Amber have a fight?”  Jiyoung came closer to her

“No…we just…what are you doing here Jiyoung?”  Krystal ask a little annoyed

“Well, you didn’t seem well after you sing, and now you’re acting cold towards me…did I do something?” Jiyoung grab Krystal’s hand

“No…is not you ok? I just…I’m confuse” Krystal sigh and then look at the intertwined hands

“You see the light between our hands?” Amber said to me

“No” I reply bluntly

“That’s because our hands fit perfectly” Amber’s wide smile always make me smile

“I love you” I said while coming closer to Amber

“I love you too” Amber close the gap between us

“Krystal?...what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Jiyoung concern could be show on her face

“Nothing…thanks for the picture frame, I need to get ready for School, don’t worry for me. I’m just sad because Amber’s leaving” Krystal got up from bed breaking the hold of their hands

“Oh…ok…but we still up for the picnic with Sully and Daesung right?” Jiyoung was on her way to the door

“Yeah, see you later, thanks for coming” Krystal didn’t even look at her

Jiyoung just left the house, she thanks Krystal’s sister and get on her way. While she was making her way towards the park she notices a figure, it seems like…

Amber was sitting in front of Krystal’s house; she was waiting to see if Jiyoung came out. After a while she did, she seems sad. She walks towards the park when she turn around. Shelooks at herand got scared.

Jiyoung?...You think I’m going to do something? Maybe you think I should?

Amber thought, she smile with bitterness at Jiyoung. Jiyoung just keep walking, ignoring the fact that she was caught in her action.

Jiyoung never has done something like this, but she feels she senses that Krystal and Amber are not fine. So, in case she’s right, why don’t be close to Krystal?

Amber start walking to her house, while she was sitting on her bed, she decide to come and confront Krystal, Krystal call her when she was practically outside her house. But Amber stops, because she wants to see who the girl was. On the way back she found a familiar car. It looks likes Suzy’s car, park outside her house.

“Hey” Suzy’s voice came from behind

“Hey…What are you doing here?” Amber was serious

“Oh well, Bom call me and say to me that where I was going to stay when I arrive NYU, so I though asking you to live with me, so we can share the rent. I’m looking for an apartment but I will find one before the school is over…so what do you think?” Suzy was looking at the pale and serious face in front of her with concern

“Actually, I was going to ask the same. My dad got an apartment already. Why don’t you give me your cell phone or email, I’ll send you all the details tomorrow” Amber reply dryly

“Ok then, here. By the way, you look like crap, you should rest” Suzy say playfully

“I should right…well, see you later Suzy” Amber just fake a smile and enter her house

She went straight to her room and she just lay on her bed. She grab her cell phone and type a tiny message.

[From: Princess
To: Baby Koala

Sorry for cutting you, see you tomorrow at school, bring your energy :D…goodnight]

---------------------------------OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--------------------------------------

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I'm back :D, so a long chapter guys, I hope you guys like it. So, remember that just because the path gets some bumps it doesn't mean is the wrong path.

Now, I will try to keep up with the chapters, maybe this will be a long story, I still don't know how many chapter will be, any suggestions?

Well, in another news, I want to give some promotions to my other stories, so:

Taeny focus

"Blue" http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/164991/blue-taeny

"Bad" http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/149526

" Back Home" http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/132468

A rated on: "Can you make me wet the bed?" http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/115357 

Some Kryber ones, mostly Rated:

"OMG" http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/60965

"Just A Feeling" http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/74490

Enjoy it guys, and please don't forget to suscribe and comment :D