[Friday August 07, 2016]

          It’s amazing how she managed to get me to fall in love with her within a month—just a couple weeks.  She was so fragile in my eyes; she looked weak and exhausted, but in reality she was the strong one.  She held herself up when she knew of her outcome.  I would have stayed with her no matter what, and I was planning to…

But it ended all too soon.

Her death was too sudden. 

          It was uncalled for, unexpected.

          And now 3 years later, I have to move on…says everyone else. 

          She’s gone, but I’m not.  I’m 23 and I still have a life to live.  We obviously weren’t meant to be but that doesn’t mean that she wasn’t my first love. 

          Right?

          I sigh.  Standing up from the table, I grab my phone and shove it in my pocket before walking out of the café.  It’s time for me to get to work.  Senior, full time student and working full time as well…causes so much stress.  The guys tell me to take it easy, but I need to be busy.  My life needs to be as hectic as possible because it’s the only way to keep my mind off her.

          And yet, I’m here walking down the sidewalk still thinking about her. 

          Why can’t I forget about her?

          My life’s been blurry, in a daze.  I should be able to move on right?  Even if I can’t go on dates, I should be able to live life normally…but I don’t know why it’s so hard.  It’s been 3 ing years and—

          “HEY! ARE YOU CRAZY!?”

          Someone grabbed my arm and jerked me back forcefully.  I stumbled back, saving myself from a fall and turned around.  A young looking girl stared back at me with worry in her eyes.  I couldn’t help but make connection between her and Miyoung almost immediately.  The way her eyes grew when I cocked my head at her.  Her cheeks were red, her chest rising quickly.  “Hello!?” She raised a hand and waved it in front of my face.  “Are you okay? Are you trying to kill yourself because you look too young to be ending your life.”

          I blinked.  “Wh-what?”  I turned around and saw cars quickly driving through the street intersection.  “Oh…” I sighed and turned around again suddenly captivated by her beauty.  “What’s wrong?” She asked softly, “Are you okay? Do I need to take you to the hospital or something?” Her eyes brows furrowed then she bit her lips. 

          Just like Miyoung.

          “I’m—I’m okay.” I sigh before she suddenly grabbed my arm and dragged me into a small café on the corner.  She sat me down into a chair before sitting across from me.  “Are you sure you’re okay?  Do you need anything?  Coffee, maybe, to wake you up?”

          I only continued to stare at her.  She reminds me so much of her and I just can’t take my eyes off of her.  “M-Miyoung…?” I croaked unconsciously.  And her brows cave in more, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes.  “Mi-what? No, close but no, not Miyoung.  I’m Mihyun.  What’s your name?” She asked.

          Mihyun…Miyoung.  What are the chances?

          I clear my throat and shake my head to get out of my thoughts, “Oh Sehun.  It’s a pleasure to meet you, and thank you for saving me back there.  My mind is still out wandering around in my thoughts.” I stated with a small smile.  Mihyun bit her bottom lip, nodding her head slowly.  “Mhmm…” she hums.  “Well, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” She shouted just seconds later leaning over and slapping my arm, “Oh—gosh, my heart is still beating quickly!”

          I flinch, and a smile forms on my face.  “How about I make it up to you?” I stated, “I’m kind of late for work now so here…” I quickly fish out a business card from my wallet, “call me and I’ll take you out for dinner.” I say as I get up, “It was lovely meeting you, and thanks again for saving my life.”

          “Something’s different today…” Kyungsoo mutters to Lu Han who only nods in reply.  Both their eyes are glued to Sehun, watching him as he makes his rounds around the office.  “What could it be…?” Lu Han sighs, forehead creasing.

          Someone rams into his back, “What’s up with the kid?” Chanyeol whispers before Baekhyun and Jongin appear beside them.  “He looks…happy—no, excited.” Jongin says lowly.   Kyungsoo and Lu Han both puff.  “We’re trying to figure it out, okay?” Lu Han sighs in frustration.  “Hey, best friend, why don’t you just go ask him?” Jongin throws him a look, “he’ll probably tell you.”

          “—Oh !” Baekhyun and Chanyeol immediately ducks, “Disperse—”

          “Are you guys not working again!?” the manager glares at them from the kitchen.  His eyes follow theirs, landing on Sehun who is diligently working in his cubicle, “Should I be giving him a promotion…he’ll be out of here in no time.” He states, “get back to work or I’ll have you all fired within seconds.” He says firmly and walks straight into his office, closing the door with a bang.

          The guys straighten, “I can have your fired just as quickly as you breathe air.” Jongin snickers back, “this is bull—why am I stuck here? I should be managing the company.” He groans before Kyungsoo punches his arm, “you don’t want things handed down to you—”  “And how would you know?” Jongin states as a matter of fact.  Lu Han drops his gaze, “Oh stop bickering—maybe we’ll get drinks later…and have him spill then.” He sings before leaving the two behind.

          I’ll wait 3 days.  If she doesn’t contact me then it wasn’t meant to be and then I can truly let go of everything.  The lights in the office are dim, Friday night.  “Hey! Sehun, we’re going out, come on.  You can’t object this time—”

          “I wasn’t going to.” I quickly cut him off and stand up, packing my bag, “same place?” I question, and Jongin salutes a, “yes sir!”

          I shake my head, laughing, “Kay—let’s go.”

          Not of us bothers to change out of our work attire.  I remove my jacket and leave it in the car before we make our way inside.  Same place, same time, same table, same order.  I sigh.  “When’s your father moving you up the rank?” Tao ask, eyes towards me.  I shrug, “he wants me to earn my way up there instead of just being handed CEO, but I’ll be there soon…”

          I quickly drown down 2 shots.  “Soooooo~~~” Jongdae sung as he slid up next to me, “I heard you were, in the words of Jongin, ‘acting weird today—happy, almost.’” He states and I turn myhead, with no emotion on my face, “I’m not drunk yet.” I mutter, “But yes, it’s weird but I feel good right now-well, not right now, but-”

          Jongdae waves his hands in the air, cutting me off short, “Whatever, I just want to know what happened?  Did our words finally get to you?? Are you letting go? Perhaps…” he raises a teasing brow, “did you meet someone?”

          And I cough out my drink, spiting the liquor around me.  “AH! YAH!” Tao cries, raising his hands in the air and backing up, “What the hell, Sehun!? Can’t you drink?” He groans and walks off as some guys comes over to see what was up.  Jongdae just laughed at the response that I gave him, “Sehun met someone!” He raised his beer in the air.  The guys whistle, “Finally! Sehun, we have to meet her…”

          I drown out their voices.  I became quiet as the guys bombarded me with questions.  They made it sound like they were happy I was over it…but honestly I’m not.  It’s hard to forget her no matter how hard I want to move on, she’ll come back.  I know she wants me to move on, but why is it so hard for me?  The way the hyungs are putting it out…it’s almost as if they want me to forget—and I don’t.

          “..ey…heyyyyy” Snap*  Fingers snap again in front of my face.  “What’s wrong, man!?” Jongin grins, “You got yourself a girl! Heck maybe your father will move you up to the headquarters of the company.” He shouts through the music. 

          As I was about to answer him, I felt a vibration in my pant pocket.  I set my drink down and took my phone out.  Hmm, unknown number.  I look up at Jongin, “I’ll be back.” I mouth and backed away from the table and outside into the cool air.  “Hello?” I say and I hushed voice answers me.  “Se-Sehun…?” she whispers.  “Yes?” I reply, “Who’s this and why are you whispering?” I question her.

          “Mihyun—I’m sorry, we’re not close or anything but I can really use your help right now—ahh! I’m under the Banpo bridge—if you can’t come, that’s fine as well—” My brows furrow, what exactly is going on.  “—gotta go!” She mutters quickly before the end tone came on.  I look down at my phone, “W-what…?”

          Before I could think of anything else, I shove my phone back into my pocket and run inside.  I find Jongin in a conversation with a girl and I immediately look for Lu Han instead. 

          “Hyung!” I shout and grab his arms.  He looks back at me shocked, “W-what?” His forehead creases.  “I need to leave-”  I fish his pockets as he bursts out in protest.  “I’m taking your car but I’ll return it tomorrow, yeah? Thanks!” I shout as I took steps back before turning and running out.

          I make it to the walkway under the bridge but see nothing.  I see lonely trees, empty benches, abandoned sidewalk and— my eyes widened, “Mihyun!?” I shout into the opening and her head whips towards me.  She crouching down behind a trash bin.  What are you doing…hiding?

          Her head turns back around one more time before she gets up and sprints towards me.  “What—”

          “Get in and drive!” She shouts when I look behind her and see couple guys running after her.  I grumble and cruse before getting back in the car just as she opens the door and closes it just a fast.  Within seconds, I’m driving out of the parking lot and turning onto the highway.

          “Care to explain?” I say as I look over at her.  “-Wait, what happened to you!?” The car suddenly served.  “Keep your eyes on the road!” She shouts, buckling herself in.  And I moved my attention back to the road in front of me, but not forgetting about the cuts on her arms.  “What happened to you?” I say again, only more firmly. 

          “Ehh, nothing much—”

          “Answer me, Mihyun.  I’m taking you to the hospi-”  She quickly cuts in, “No! No hospital! God, I can’t afford that.” She mutters, “Just take me home.  I live on the other side of town.”  I roll my eyes, “if you live there, why are you here?” I ask her, “And again, what happened?  Why were they chasing you?”

          I quickly glance at her as she slouches in her seat, rubbing her arms lightly, “Thanks for coming—I seriously didn’t think you were going to since…you know, we just met.” She chuckles softly and I feel something weird inside my chest before pushing it back.  “You really know how to change a subject, don’t you?” I say and she laughs, “Yes! Are we drop-”

          “You’re crazy if you think I’m dropping this.” I tell her and she groans again.  Everything gets quiet except the engine of the car.  I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say, or if I’m supposed to say anything at all.  I’m still hoping she would answer my question-

          “Hey, where are we going?” She straightens and looks around as I turn into my neighborhood.  “My house.”

          I literally had to drag her inside and sit her down on my couch.  “I’m going to get my first aid kit.” I say and go into the bathroom quickly, grabbing the box and running back out, relieved that she was still sitting in my living room.

          “Now…” I walk over and sit in front of her, “as I tend to your wounds, you’re going to tell me what happened.” I tell her and open the box, getting to work.

          Mihyun huffs and I look up just to see her pouting.  Cute.  “I was taking a stroll and suddenly these guys see me walking alone and they came to talk to me. Blah blah blah, next thing I knew, I was running for my life along the river.” She explains in short.  I roll my eyes but don’t complain any more than I need to.  I put bandages where cuts were and closed the box.  “I’ll be back.” I tell her and walk into the kitchen, grabbing a frozen bag of dukk, wrapping it in a towel and bringing it over to her, “here…put this on your bruises.”

          “I’m going to cook dinner.” I say and walk back in the kitchen, hoping she’d follow.  Of course, she does.  She settles herself in a stool as I throw an apron on.  “You cook?” She raises I brow and I smile back, “I have to learn if I’m living here along.” I give her a small smirk and turn towards my fridge.   “You feeling spaghetti tonight?” I say and she replies a split second later, “Yes! That’s better than everything I’ve had since I’ve arrived!” She practically jumps down from the bar stool and shuffles over to me. 

          Her hair brushes across my shoulders and she peers over to see what I was doing.  “Do you know how to cook?” I ask her as I take the meat out to wash it.  I take a quick glance and notice her closeness.  “Nope, that’s why I’m observing.” She smiles brightly and turns on the water for me.

          As we cooked and had dinner, I about her less than average cooking ability.  This girl claimed she could make the best ramyun in the world, and I commented back at my 9 year old cousin could easily do that same.  I taught her how to make spaghetti, step by step, she was there, following me, observing and tippy toeing to see over my shoulders.  Her closeness, her scent had already familiarized itself around me.

          I learned a decent amount about her.  I know she has a youngest sister.  Her family lives in Japan and she’s here in Seoul to get away from her family, to start new and live her own life.  She’s finding herself, or what she calls it, “on an adventure.”  She opens up so easily, and I was surprised that I did the same.

          “Okay, mister Oh, next secret…” she muttered before taking a sip of red wine, “Ah! We never asked this….who was your first love.” She asked and wiggled in her seat anticipating the answer.  “I want to know about this girl who stole the heart of the Mister Oh-so-popular.”  She chuckled and looked at me.

          I was trying to avoid this secret the most.  “How about you tell me about your first love, first.” I reply back and she immediately scowls, “Ehh, that’s not how we play the game.” My shoulders deflate and I know she could sense something in the atmosphere.  “Alright, fine.” She mutters, “I fell in love with my best friend, and everyone knows how that ends up.  I was in love with him for 3 years but he was too ignorant to figure everything out.  I stayed with him through all his break ups, mending his heart back up for him hoping he would return the feelings I had for him, but no.  He married someone else and they’re expecting now.” She shrugs, “Now, that I’m thinking back, I’m glad that he was too oblivious to know about my feelings.”

          “If he was unaware, that only means he wasn’t meant for you.” I let the words slip out of my mouth then look up and found her staring at me.  She cleared , “Anyways,” she chuckled nervously, “your turn.”

          I drop my gaze down to my lap, fiddling with my fingers.  “My first love was 3 years ago.   First semester in college.  She was majoring in Elementary Education; she was quiet, but not shy.  She made me fall in love with her within a course of a month, not even…” I couldn’t meet her eyes.

          “Wow! Within a month!? She’s special then.  What happened? Did she like you back?” Mihyun lowered her head and I looked up into her eyes.  “Yes, I’m sure she liked me back…” I my lips, "But a bus accident took her life.” I muttered as I looked elsewhere.  From the corner of my eyes, I saw her straighten in her position.  Her eyes widening and mouth opened, but she closed it again.

          “It’s okay though.” I regain myself and force a small smile while shrugging, “she was a stubborn lady anyways; I could never quite understand her.” I chuckle lightly and Mihyun did the same.  “But you loved her.” She whispers and I slowly nod,  “Yes, I did.”

          The room goes quiet for a second before Mihyun jumps up, “Well—uhh…” she looks around awkwardly, “I-I think I’m going to head out now.” She says quickly as she looks around for her bag.  I stand up as well, "I’ll drive you back…I don’t want to be disturbed in my sleep when you get into some sort of trouble.” I chuckle softly and grab Lu Han’s keys.  She doesn’t object, and I’m relieved.

          After I drop her off, I drive to Namsan Tower.  The tower closes at midnight, and it was close to 11 when I arrive.  I got up to the top and walk towards the glass doors.  I push it open and the cool breeze welcomes me.  The city lights can be seen for miles.  I embrace the beautiful city in front of me, the city that never sleeps.

          I make my way over and sit down right next to the lockets that were placed there 3 years ago.  They are now hiding between the many lockets made by loved ones, but I am still able to find them. 

          I smile as I set a pair of coral tulips into the lock.  “How are you Miyoung?” I ask into the open air.  Not a moment later, the wind softly brushes against my arms.   I sit quietly, leaning against the rails that are covered in lockets.  I know she wants me to move on because I would have wanted her to do the same, especially after 3 years.  But I’m still hurt .  Is it wrong to still be mourning after 3 years?

          But I sigh and smile, “…thank you.” I whisper and suddenly I feel relaxed.  There was a sense of peace and the wind died down for a bit.  “For bringing Mihyun, thank you.” I chuckle.

          I look up when the door opens, “Sir, we’re closing now.” A staff member said and I nod, “Alright, thank you.” I say and he steps back into the building.  I sigh heavily and stand up on my two feet.  “Thank you, Miyoung, for watching over me, for caring…and for bringing someone else into my life.” I whisper and crack a smile, “…maybe she won’t be so stubborn like you.” I chuckle to myself and walk back inside as the wind picks up again, and I know it’s her.

          When I return home, I take lead and text Mihyun.  Something short, something sweet, and something that’ll make her come back to me.

          Hey, it was nice hanging out with you this evening.  Let’s do it again sometime, yeah?  Also, if you’re ever in trouble, don’t hesitate to give me a call. Goodnight, sleep well.

          I send it and leave the phone on my bed as I change and get ready for bed.  When I return, her text message stares back at me.  She replied a couple minutes after I sent mine, and I don’t know why, but it made me happy.

          Of course! I already miss your spaghetti, kekeke~ Goodnight, Sehun! Let’s hangout soon.

          I sigh and smile in content as I fall back onto the covers of my bed.

          I miss you, Miyoung…and thank you...for saving me, for bringing her; I’ll definitely cherish her.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!

Here's Sehun after 3 years!! :)) he meets someone new ;)) Kekeke, too cute. Anyways, I'm currently working on the Alt#2, so look forward to that as well, though I'm not so sure when I'll be able to post that up (it's still rough). But anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this 1/2 bonus chapter!

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--miyoung:))