[Monday December 30 – 2 Days]

          Eunae tagged along with Miyoung’s parents as they returned home the following evening.  She wanted to go back in Miyoung’s room to sit and remember.  The entire house was quiet; the maids spoke little and Miyoung’s parents went straight to the stairs.  “Come down to the living room when you’re ready.” Miyoung’s mother said softly before giving Eunae a warm hug.

          Eunae walked down the hall and stood in front of the closed door.  She closed her eyes trying to find the confidence to open the door.  Minutes passed before her hands gripped onto the door knob then pushed the door open.  Everything was still the same since Eunae’s last been in her room.  She faintly smiled as she saw a dorky picture of them sitting on Miyoung’s shelf.   

          She slowly made her way around Miyoung’s room, reminiscing on the good times with her best friend, the memories they made, the memories they shared, and the memories they would no longer be able to talk about. 

          As she walked passed Miyoung’s bed, the music box caught her eyes, making her stop in her tracks.  Miyoung played it every night, she knew because Miyoung would always hum to the tune.  Eunae walked over before hesitantly grabbing the music box off of Miyoung’s night stand.

          There was a necklace that came with it, she knew that but she couldn’t find it as she looked on the desktop.  Eunae decided to bring it back to the hospital, knowing that Miyoung would have wanted to have it by her side.

          She walked to the vanity table to see what Miyoung had been doing before this had happened.  Papers, pens and envelopes were scattered across the table top.  Eunae sniffed before looking at her reflection that stared back at her.  Her eyes were red and puffy; she looked extremely tired and sick.  Her eyes moved to the outside of the mirror where Miyoung stuck pictures of them around the frame.

          Eunae took a step back, about to leave the room when her name caught her eyes on a piece of envelope on the vanity table.  It was under other envelopes, and as she picked it up, some fell to the ground.  She gasped then bent to the ground to pick them up.  Her eyes narrowed as she caught onto many other names.

          Mom…dad…Sehun…Mrs. Choi…

          Eunae grabbed them all off the floor then grabbed the one with her name on it.  She quickly opened it without a second thought then pulled out a piece of paper and unfolding it.

          Dear my ugly friend, Eunae,

          She read the first line and chuckled in disbelief.

          “Eunae?” Someone knocked on the door twice before she turned around.  Miyoung’s father was at the door, “What do you have?” He asked her before she sniffed and looked down at the paper in her hands.  “She…she wrote letters…” Miyoung’s father walked over to the vanity table and saw one with his name.  He fought back the tears before picking the other ones off, “Why don’t you give them away…it’s not going to be of any use if they’re not going to be read.” he said quietly then patted Eunae’s back, “her mother wants to return back to the hospital.” He said before they left the room, closing the door behind them.

          Eunae wasn’t going to read the letter until she was at the hospital, alone where she can cry freely without having to feel pitied.

          Eunae sat in the family waiting room staring at the piece of paper on the table.  She pulled her knees up a hugged them.  Her hands trembled and lips quivered.  You need to read this…it’ll help you get through everything.

          She rocked her body back and forth in a soothing matter to calm her nerves.  After minutes pass, she breathed slowly and released her knees.  Her hand itched forward before slipping the letter of the table and pulling it to her lap.

          Eunae took a deep breath then read the first line that greeted her with a faint smile.

 December 16, 2013

Dear my ugly friend, Eunae,

            Thank you for staying by my side through thick and thin.  We’re total opposite; you’re loud and outgoing and—well, me? I’m quiet, but in the end we still make it work.  You’re reading this letter because one, I died during the surgery (though you and I both know that’s impossible with this one) or two, you found it while you were snooping around my vanity table. Tsk tsk.  This letter isn’t meant for anyone to read, not for a while anyway.  I probably would have given it to you but definitely not now. 

            I just wanted to thank you for everything that you did, for pushing me and having faith in me when I didn’t have any in myself.  Thank you for being that older sister when I didn’t have one.  I love you to pieces and you better stay by my side after the surgery you jerk!  You better help me through my reading and writing again, my speech therapy and please…please, help me remember all the good times together good and bad times together because I want to remember everything! Kekeke

            I hope I’m not acting like a baby.  Am I? Do I drool when I eat because I don’t know how to chew? Gosh that’d be embarrassing…please don’t take any pictures! I swear I’ll hurt you when I remember again!

            Anyways, I’m super jealous of you and Baekhyun.  You guys might not be dating but I see something between you two.  I only wish I could find someone who’s worth holding on to, someone who I can tell this secret to, and someone who will stay with me even when I have to relearn everything again.  …Sorry for being depressing right there, but anyways…GO FOR IT!  I hope you guys are together after my surgery! Hwighting! Kekeke ^^

            Anyways…this is getting a little weird. You’re sleeping on the bed right now and I should be too…so I can have a lot of energy to go shopping tomorrow…*sigh, I don’t know how you do it.

            I love you! Smile always!

-Miyoung

p.s. I was just kidding about the above, YOU’RE MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, CHUBBY CHEEKS, BEST FRIEND!

          By the end of the letter, Eunae was in tears once again.  She tried her best to hold them in but after reading the first line, tears were already forming around the corners of her eyes.  Her silent tears became uncontrolled sobs, her breathing was heavy.  She was choking on air, unable to breathe right.

          Eunae clutched onto the piece of paper tightly around her chest.  She rested her head on her knees, rocking her body to sooth herself again.  Memories after memories replayed in her mind.  Miyoung laughing, Miyoung crying, Miyoung angry; Eunae’s been through every stage of her best friend’s life.  They had plans to go overseas together, live together just once in their life time, have play dates with their kids together, make fun of each other in the nursery home together, but now everything was gone.

          Her best friend was gone.

          Sehun left the room after Miyoung’s father gave him his letter.  He wanted to curse her.  Did she know she was going to die!?  He carefully opened up the letter and sat down somewhere, alone.

December 26, 2013

          Sehun’s hand tensed up around the paper.  December 26…day after the argument…day before everything happened.

Dear you,

          He read it and reread it.  There was something about that just made him calm, as if she was happy when she wrote to him.

            If you’re reading this letter, that only means one thing…that I liked you enough to tell you about what is going to happen…or what has already happened…I don’t know…but anyways, umm…this is a bit awkward because we always argue, but that was because I was having a hard time debating on whether or not I wanted to tell you about this operation.  I know I lied to you about a lot of things…but honestly, I wasn’t sure if you actually liked me back or not, so I held back.

            If I already told you then oh well—let me say it again…I like you, Oh Sehun.  I liked you since December 13, 2013 when we went ice skating together.  When you made me that promise, when you held my hands, when you fell first to save my fall, those were just some small reasons why I like you.  I also wanted to say thank you for doing some things on my bucket list.  I didn’t say it then, but I remember now.  My list is a bit dull but thank you for taking me to the beach in the dead of winter, taking me to the French bakery when it was impossible for us to go to France at the time, and for reenacting a typical drama scene with me.  What I wanted to do most was experience a relationship before I went through the surgery…and I’m thankful for having you because you crossed out another bullet point even when you didn’t know.  Fyi, I still have a long list to go, so ask me again and you better fulfil them all.

            Also, if you got this letter, you’re obviously sticking with me.  I hope I’m not a burden to you.  I wouldn’t want that for a person who tries so hard to be perfect… I know you’re having a hard time, trust me…I can barely stand myself when I was still sane, I’m sure I’m just worst now after the surgery, but thank you for still staying by my side.  I probably don’t remember you, but I know I won’t push a person like you away…

Anyways, I didn’t tell you but my birthday is on New Year’s Eve.  It would have passed already but when you come visit me, bring my favorite flowers, okay? Coral colored tulips…but only 2 tulips, one for me and one for you.  I’ll probably question you but it’s okay.  You’re handsome so I wouldn’t mind getting flowers from a handsome guy, kekeke.

            I’m sorry for these past couple of days…we’ve been arguing a lot lately, but forgive, handsome! Kekeke

            I miss you! Don’t forget to bring my flowers, idiot! Smile! Hwaighting!

-Your happiness, Miyoung <3

          Sehun swallowed the large lump in his throat down, but it still burned.  Hot tears streamed out the corner of his eyes.  He lifted his fist and bit down on his knuckles to muffle his cries.  He was supposed to read this after the surgery, after she forgot who he was so that he would know that she actually liked him.

          The letter fell out of his shaky hands as he lifted them and covered his face.

          He spent his whole day at the hospital and he would be here tomorrow as well.  He didn’t even know what to think anymore.  Nothing seemed to matter, next semester’s classes, his appearance; nothing was on his mind but Miyoung.  He prayed and wished for a miracle, a miracle in December…that’d be prefect.

          He sat in the same position for hours, staring off into space as his tears dried on his cheeks.  The moon replaced the sun in the night sky.  From a far, he could see Namsan tower on its mountain. 

          If I wasn’t so suspicious, so self-centered, so short tempered, you’d still be here.  I could have taken you to Namsan tower, we could’ve rode on the cable cars together, just us two; make lockets and look at the stars; I could have held you close, kept you warm from the cold breeze.  I could have done all that…if I wasn’t so jealous.

          Sehun closed his eyes.  He decorated his blank mind with his room; his English book was in front of him, and Miyoung was sitting on his bed, knees up, head resting on top and her eyes were closed, the day that changed him; December 12, the day that he found her interesting.

          He kept himself living in his thoughts his memories.  Sehun could faintly smell her vanilla scent.  He starred at her lovingly.  “I wish I could have gotten to know you instead of pushing you way.” He whispered, “I so sorry for the things I’ve said, the things I’ve done.” He stated to the sleeping Miyoung in his memories.

          “Just live in my memories…” he said softly as he lifted his hands to push back her bangs.  And just like that, she and everything around him disappeared, leaving him with nothing but darkness.

          Sehun slowly opened his eyes, brought back to reality, he folded the paper back and stood up.  He turned around and straightened as he saw Eunae walking out of the waiting room with a letter in hand.

          She looked up and caught his far off gaze.  She gave him a faint smile as she walked over, noticing his letter as well, “how was—the letter…?” she asked softly with uneven breathing.  Sehun looked down then back up at her, “that idiot…what was she thinking…” he muttered before Eunae chuckled dryly, “I was going to say the same thing…”

          The two stood in silence not knowing what else to say. 

          “…Are you going to be in there when-when they…”  Eunae stopped not wanting to say it.  Sehun knew exactly what she was going to say and shook his head, “I don’t think I can do that…” he whispered.  Eunae bit her lip, nodding slowly, “do you want to go out tomorrow?  Instead of being here…I know when they’re going to pull—and there’s a place I think you should be at if you’re not going to be here…” Eunae muttered and looked at Sehun.  Both their eyes were swollen red and they looked extremely tired. 

          Sehun swallowed.  They walked back to the room together, “…yeah, I can go…” he whispered as he opened the door into Miyoung’s room, "I can go."

*Note, Sehun was daydreaming about Miyoung and talking to her in his thoughts, if you guys were confused. ALSO, I WILL UPDATE TOMORROW AT 12:12PM...but that's only where I live, so I don't know when that time is for you, otl. But not like it reeeealllly matters, heh. Ermm, yeah.

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--miyoung:))