Kissing Jong In is probably my favorite thing to do on the list, now I know that I’ve kissed him. His body pressed mine against my bed, his hands sliding around my waist, up until under my shirt. This is the first time we’ve ever shared a kiss together but it doesn’t feel strange at all. He’s a great kisser, it made me wonder how come he so good at it. But Jong In moved at a different pace now, the kiss became needy and greedy that I cannot keep up, and I feel his whole weight pushing me, made me unable to breath. With a great force I pushed him away and hardly, he rolled to his back, beside me, on my bed. We were breathing heavily now, like we just finished a jogathon or kickboxing.

“That was……” Jong In said, but he didn’t finished his word. He was still shirtless, with only his pant on.

“How the hell you become so good at it?” I asked. I am still panting, still trying to catch my breath.

“I had practices.” He smirked. That somehow anger me, I turned to look at him then he chuckled when he saw me glaring at him.

“But that was your first time, no? Unless you have dated behind my back without my knowledge all this while?” Jong In asked. He raised his eyebrows.

“Everytime a guy try to talk me, he ended being beat up by you the next day. I never had a boyfriend because thanks to you, the overprotective bestfriend.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“I think we need to work out on that ‘bestfriend’ part. And I didn’t regret beating them up, put it, you’re simply mine, in every way.” Jong In said, he looked at me in the eyes when he said that. It was just, I don’t know what to say back. Now that he said something like that, a thought sinked inside me. I wasn’t sure if Jong In is capable of love now, all that he know maybe about owning somebody, posessing them. But love? I think he have a long way to go.
“It’s late, you should be resting.” I told him. He my cheek before he move to rest his head on my pillow. I was about to get up when he grabbed my wrist.

“Where you’re going?” he asked.

“I’m not sleeping with you, my mom will kill me!” I told him.

“Then what? You’re sleeping on the couch?” He asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m sleeping with my mom. Goodnight.” I said then I slowly release my hand from his grip.

“Goodnight.” He said when I was walking away.

………………….

“Alice, the girl our Jong In left behind.” Taemin smiles. 

I and Kai are both now looking at Taemin. I’m trying to think of something, do something and say something but I am stuck in the moment.

“Stop it, Taemin.” Kai scowls at him now. I find myself slowly letting go of Kai’s hand.

“Wow, now that I think of it, you actually got a bunch of weird guts to face her, Jong In.” Taemin says.

“I said stop it Taemin, I’d be more than please to blows on you one more time.” Kai is clenching his fist now.

“You’re mad? Mad at me because I kissed her or mad at yourself because you left her?” Taemin asks. I look at the floor now, not knowing which guy I should face, Kai or Taemin.

“Get out, Taemin.” Kai tells him. Taemin smiles at him, knowing despite the punch he got, he win over him this time. Taemin looks at me now.

“I’m sorry, I’ll call you later.” Taemin tells me, but I keep my gaze on the floor, then he walks out of the room, leaving me and Kai inside.

We stand like that for few seconds. I find it hard to breath at that moment, I don’t know what to do, to talk to him, to walk away, I couldn’t decide. And him being silence on the other hand is not helping at all. At last, I muster my courage to start walking, I need to get out for a while, for a fresh air.

“Please don’t go.” He says. I stop walking, but I didn’t turn around.

“Please, stay. Even if you don’t want to talk to me just please stay.” He says weakly. “At times like this I just want to hug you and forget the world, but I doubt you’d like that so just, please stay in my sight.” He continues talking. I’m holding back my tears now, knowing I could burst out anytime soon.

“How did he know about me?” I ask him, still not facing him.

“I told him. He’s the closest friend I have in SM. I was having a hard time, I need to talk about it to someone.” He answers.

“Why were you having a hard time? It was your choice to leave.” I ask.

“You think it was easy for me to leave you?” He asks me back, now he sounds mad. I am mad now, I am mad because he is mad. I let out a heavy sigh, knowing this is it. I’m reaching my level.

“I don’t freaking know about how you feel because Kai, you never talk to me about it and I cannot read mind.” I turn to face him now. “When we met few days ago, I was expecting you to say something, maybe apologize for leaving without telling me, but you didn’t. You act like nothing happened. I don’t know if you were having a bad time after leaving me, but you sure as hell made it look easy!” I am practically yelling at him now and crying at the same time. I hate this, I hate how Kai have the power to trigger all these emotional feeling inside me. He didn’t look at me, he look at t