When Kris walks away to get his lunch, Kai is still glaring at me.

“Stop glaring.” I tell him.

“Stop flirting.” He sounds so mad now, so hot. 

“I wasn’t flirting. And even if I was, it’s none of your concern.” I reply, rolling my eyes at him.

“Of course it’s my concern.” Kai says, sounds even hotter.

“Why the hell in the world would that be any of your concern?” I snap out right now, practically smacking both of my hand on the table, but I wasn’t that loud. Luckily there’s no one watching.

“Because,” Kai says and that’s when Kris arrives with food in his hand.

 “They are running out of meat. Oh damn it.” Kris sounds frustrated as he takes out the chair and sits.

“Here, take mine. I think I took too much.” I pick some of the meat from my plate and put it in his plate instead. I didn’t look at Kai, I don’t want to.

“Oh you sure about it?” Kris asks.

“Never been more sure.” I reply with a smile.

“Thanks.” He smiles back at me. Kai stops eating now, he put down his chopstick on the table.

“You’re done eating?” Kris asks Kai.

“I think I just lost my appetite.” Kai replies then he stands up. “I’ll be waiting for you in the studio, don’t be late.” Kai tells me then he walks away.

“Wow, he’s not really in a good mood today, isn’t he?” Kris says when Kai is no longer there.

“He’s unpredictable.” I reply to Kris.

“But he was quite in a good mood last night. Says that he’s looking forward for today.” Kris says while eating his rice.

“Today, why?” I asks.

“Not sure, all I know of his schedule today is that he’ll be training with you. Well maybe that’s what he meant.” Kris says.

“And why would he look forward about training with me.” I am not actually asking, more to like a whine.

“Well, I would if I were him.” He smirks at me, then he looks down on his rice and continue eating them.

...............................

I take the elevator to the 5th floor and it is just me inside. I am holding to a plastic bag filled with kimbaps that I bought from the cafeteria. When I walk in to the studio, I find Kai sitting in the middle of the room, eyes closed. He’s sitting in a yoga position and I know he’s distracted, he always do this when something is bothering him.

“You’re late by 3 minutes.” Kai says now, with his eyes still closing.

“Eat this.” I walk up to him and hand him a bag of kimbap I bought earlier.

“What’s that for?” He opens his eyes now, looking at me.

“You only eat a little before you snap just now, I know it wasn’t enough. You usually eat a lot.” I tell him and he’s now taking the plastic bag from me. He looks inside the plastic bag then he look at me.

“Thanks.” He says.

“Don’t just leave like that, at least finish your meal before you snap or get mad at something. It’s not healthy to just skip your lunch like that.” I tell him then I sit down beside him on the floor, now I realize I sound like a mom. He looks at me and then he smiles.

“You really havent change a bit, didn’t you.” He says.

“Not everybody change, Kai.” I tell him. The smile on his face is now gone. I know he knows what I meant.

“I havent change, if that’s what you’re trying to imply. My feelings for you havent change.” Kai says, his eyes bore into mine.

“Don’t.” I warn him. I don’t want to hear this, well, not now at least. It is too much to take, he was saying about his feeling, to be true, I don’t even know what he was feeling for me at the first place if he was just able to leave me like that. You don’t leave someone you love that easily. Ever since the day he left I’ve been questioning if he really loves me at the first place. So when he said his feeling haven’t change, I don’t actually know what feeling he was referring to. I was living in fear in the past 4 years, I was scared. I was scared that the feeling I once feel is not real, I was scared by the fact that he probably didn’t love me, that it was just me all this while that has been feeling this. I need a confirmation, but Kai don’t disclose his feeling that easily.

“I don’t know what’s going on in your mind, Kai. That’s the one thing I love about you, I would expect you to act in some way and then you go and totally do different thing than what I’ve been expecting. You surprise me, you do that a lot. But I got tired, I don’t want to be surprised anymore. I don’t want to feel hopelessly in love with you today, and when tomorrow come, you just leave. It made me question your feeling, if it was real at the first place.” I tell him, I am trying to hold back my tears. He looks at me now, totally at lost for word.

I didnt wait for his reply, I don’t want to. I stand up. “I’m go