You sighed. You breathed through your mouth. Breathe in and breathe out. You exhaled and inhaled in a slow and steady pace. You were sitting in front of the makeup table and you were staring at your figure at the mirror. Your hair was already styled and your makeup naturally blends in with the nuance of your hairstyle, sophisticated yet cute and beautiful at the same time. You adore the taste that the hairstylist had when she decided to pick this hairstyle after browsing through several magazines – you once thought about changing the choice when she already halfway finished because it looked like mess but you sighed in relieve when you realized that the mess of your hair you though would look ugly turns out to be the one giving your hair that sophisticated look that matches your dress. You thank yourself that you didn’t ask her to change.

Yes, today is Saturday and today is your wedding day. You had your dress shopping on Wednesday and yesterday was Friday, your dress rehearsals. You thought about your dress rehearsals being boring and painful. Because of the thought of practicing to walk with high heels and corset fitting was filling your mind when you hear the word ‘dress rehearsals’. And you didn’t blame yourself to think like that because that’s exactly the activity you do to spend the entire day. Your mother accompanied you through the day though. She’s the one who supported you through all the heels pain and chest pain. You literally want to burn those heels and corset, throw them from the window and bury them deep in the ground. But your exhaustion after those suffer didn’t go away though. Right after that, your mother reminding you that the last thing you need to do is to do your ‘aisle walking’ practices.

Your mother told you that there’s an art when you walk through the aisle. She said that you need to careful when you take your steps while you walk because you might step on your dress and then next thing happen is that you tripped and fell. You need to takes slow steps because she said you need to count them. She said you need to avoid taking thirteen steps when you walk because it’s bad luck. You need also need to look graceful when you step, you can’t stomp your feet too hard. You need to look graceful and poise when you walk. And yet you need you raise your head, bump your chest and stand straight just like when you’re about to make a speech. And the next thing you thought was getting your heels and corset that you bury deep in the ground.

But then your exhaustion finally go away when you finally saw Yixing. The dress rehearsals was designed exactly the same like the wedding ceremony. So from the beginning the dress rehearsals, your mother, your aunt, your grandmother and Yixing’s grandmother, separated the both of you and you haven’t seen him until now. And you thank yourself for getting this far after suffers from all of this because you noticed that he suffered too. You just felt grateful that you didn’t have to go through all of this alone.

You finished your dress rehearsals late that day. It was already 8 p.m. when you finally had your heels taken out from your feet. You rubbed you ankle that is now red and you winced in pain when you touched it with your finger. You sighed tiredly when you notice that both of your feet has it. I need a long and relaxing bath tonight, like fast. You thought to yourself.

You stood up from your seat after putting on your sneakers. You dusted your clothes and spun your body to the door. You found you mother entering the room. She was already changing her clothes and cleaned her makeup. She walked towards you and hugged you tightly. You flinched and her sudden move. You placed your hand you her back and hugged her back.

“I’m sorry.” Your mother whisper.

You widened your eyes and raised your eyebrow. You pulled back and faced your mother. “What for?”

She sighed and gave you a weak smile. “For being a bad mother to you.”

You looked at her deeply in the eye and smiled softly at her. “I never had the thought of you being a bad mother to me mom. And you’re not.”

“I know you would avoid getting to this topic in every conversation but I gotta say this to you.” she stopped there and sighed again before finally looked at you in the eye and her face is serious. “You father’s death is not your fault.”

You almost took a step back when you heard that but you remember that she did gave you a warning about what’s coming from next. You only stared at her and wait for her to open .

“And I’m sorry for treating you like blaming you for it. I realized my action changed you.”

“Change me?” you curled up your eyebrow.

“I felt like you changed after these few years dear. And I realize I’m the one causing it.” You fell into your thoughts. Your