On my Deathbed

KEO | Leo/you, Ken/you

ANGST, DEATH

PG-15

DRABBLE

a/n: yeah, it's an angst I've just created now. I didn't know what came over me to write this. I just lied down the couch and this story hit me. So, you can change the characters if you want. I did not wholly think of KEO here but I was thinking about myself while writing this (and I almost cried. Honestly. I'm just stopping myself because my family would think weird of me when they see me crying lol). I didn't put names so that you can feel free to imagine who will it be.

I just want to warn you guys, this might and you might not like it. But if you do, please upvote, subscribe and comment! thank you!

I’m sorry. I should’ve said it right after we fought.

I love you. I wished I’ve said it sooner.

I chickened out and turned my back at you.

I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

I walked away like a coward that I was. I pushed everyone out of my way to clear the path but my tears blurred my eyes.

I hated myself, you know that? I’m such a coward and you don’t deserve someone like me.

Ever.

Never again will you deserve someone like me.

It was a loud honk and people gasping aloud. A scream came next and clashes followed afterwards.

Glasses breaks and it shatters everywhere. Tires screeched and it made marks as it hit the break and slows down then stops.

Cries followed and indistinctive voices humor my silence as I take in everything else.

I never thought of flying. I thought I was scared of heights. But, everything happened so fast.

I didn’t have the chance to ready myself for the wind to swallow me in.

It’s as if I was flying in slow motion; I felt how the wind carried me like a baby in my mother’s arms.

I felt the gush of wind softly piercing my already bruised skin from the shards.

Though, I would never like flying or falling down from a tall building, but, this experience will never be left forgotten.

I landed on a rough mattress of solid asphalt and bounced back in the air a couple of feet high as if my body was made out of spring and fly.

Do you know what it feels like to be a tarpaulin once in your life?

. It feels like .

But, I overlooked it because even though my body wasn’t mine to control anymore, I can still feel my heart aches more than anything I’ve ever felt to this day.

My body finally settled down and by god, the sky looks lovely today.

I forced my eyes to blink and my mouth to open to intake everything; the wonderful sky and the wind.

Admiring every small thing, I only found out about it now.

I couldn’t move my legs anymore. I can’t even see what position it was after I landed somewhere on the main road.

But my head can tilt and so it did. My head turned right and watched as my fingers unravelled what my right hand hides all these time.

My tears fell when I saw the gold ring slipped out of my grasped and rolled on the bumpy floor then fell down after it hit the cemented gutter.

I was about to give it to you.

Before we had a fight;

Before I took cab to our favourite restaurant;

Before I called last night to ask you out;

And, before I went to sleep that night.

I wanted to give it to you as a sign of my love because I haven’t said that I love you enough.

I wanted you to know that I will always love you from the moment I found out that I was crazy about you.

The ring would be the very reminder that you will never be alone.

That, I will always be here. Right here, where you hear lies inside your ribcage.

But, sad to say, I can’t be able to tell you everything now.

I’m sorry. I screwed up.

I wish I could still speak so that in my remaining strength, I could say, I could shout that I am, and will always be here, to love you.

I’m scared, right now. I can vaguely hear the clock on my wristwatch still ticking.

I know my time would be over soon so I wish God can hear my last prayer.

If You’re listening, I hope You can hear me this one last time. I’m asking for a favour and I hope You can grant it.

Please, give me a little amount of time before my world stops revolving around the sun.

 Please turn back the clock to where I was about to say how much that person mean to me before the bickering started.

I wish to say one last time what kind of person he was to me. I wish to say that I appreciate everything about him.

I wanted to say that I love him.

Yes! I do.

And, I don’t want to leave this world until I’ve said it.

Please, I don’t want my soul filled with regret.

I tilt back my head to watch the sky and the clouds moving with the wind up above.

I will be waiting. I will.

But my lungs started to close in, choking me. I moved my mouth as I gagged out air but it can’t go into my lungs anymore.

I staggered trying to make my brain to function but it didn’t work anymore. My lungs are still closing in.

I’m still struggling here.

I don’t know what feeling I should describe while I suffered finding my missing lungs inside.

Do you know what it feels like getting out of breath in the water?

Couldn’t live without it, right? Same as mine.

I was trying to breathe but it seems like I forgot about what breathing supposed to be is.

No, I don’t know how to breathe anymore.

My eyes fixated their gazes at the vast blue sky and I wondered why the clouds are moving on its own.

I started to ponder about it and at the back of my head it yelled,

‘Air!’

Yeah. Air.

With a little energy left of me, I forced to stretch a smile before my mouth could turn numb.

And, I did.

Then, I close my eyes.

                                                                                                - With All my faith and all my heart, and all those simple things you are.

- Story About A Girl (Our Lady Peace)

a/n: Our Lady Peace song was being played while I'm editing this story then Waiting for the end came next so... this is another inspiration. I will be waiting for your lovely comments~! ♥