After our conversation I went back to my room with a smile. I guessed that we could become closer now or we were already closer than before. I went straight to bed, exhausted from the day. To be honest, I still feared the nights. With the fever going down the nightmares didn’t appear frequently anymore. I had days were I dreamed nothing and then I had days were nightmares wouldn’t let me go. Maybe it would have been better to tell someone what I had to go through as I child but somehow this secret was already imprinted in my body and on top of that I didn’t want to drag anyone in my misery. It was my past and I had to be the one who should handle it but I just couldn’t. Even after all these years I couldn’t handle the past. When I worked at the police station and I had no work to do I would work on my ‘case’ but I couldn’t find much clues. I knew that one guy from back then had died already; probably he had done something wrong which caused his death. It was frustrating but now that I lived there could I just do nothing? Could I pretend that everything was okay as long as I live here? That no one will harm me?

I sighed and pushed all these thoughts into the back of my mind and closed my eyes. Sleep came slowly and I was lucky that the nightmare took a pity on me. It was a dreamless night.

The next morning I was woken up by knocking at my door. I slowly shifted in my bed and rubbed my tired eyes. I heard the door being opened but refused to stand up just yet. “You have to wake up. Kris wants you to join him for breakfast.” It was Luhan’s voice who tried to wake me up. “10 more minutes please.” I said while burying my head further into the pillow. I could hear Luhan chuckle beside me which caused a smile to appear on my face as well. “No, come on don’t be so lazy.” I felt how the blankets were pulled away which caused me to give up the fight against Luhan. I sat up with a yawn and looked at Luhan who grinned in victory. “I lost this battle but not the war.” I pouted and Luhan just shook his head. “Now come one and get dressed. Kris is waiting for you in the dining room. By the way, what were you doing after he dragged you away?” He was smirking at me like he knew something that I didn’t. I looked at him confused. “We were talking and then I went back to my room.” He somehow looked disappointed. What did the think we did? I shook my head to clear my mind and stood up to make my way to the bathroom. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and walked back into my room. Luhan seemed to have picked out my outfit for the day. He started doing that about 5 days ago. He said that he didn’t like my taste in clothes. I protested a lot but in the end I lost again to him.

He looked so innocent but in reality he could be the brother of the devil. He always had his ways to get what he wanted. I didn’t mind his personality and Sehun didn’t seem to bother it either since he was Luhan’s best friend. Though I got the suspicion that they are a bit more than that? I didn’t know it for sure since they didn’t show it openly but the way they acted around each other gave me that impression. The smiles that they would exchange from time to time, the subtle touches whenever they were talking animatedly with each other or the blushes that would occasionally appear on both faces when I would enter a room where both of them were alone before. I didn’t mind it. I had nothing against loving people from the same gender. People made it just a bit difficult to be the way you want to be. Also, people always had to name things. He is ‘straight’ or he is ‘gay’. I always thought that if you love someone you just love them, not for the gender, skin color or other stuff like that. I myself envied them both. They had found something I was longing all my life, love. Four letters which have different meanings for all the people out there. Kris appeared in my mind. I blushed and quickly grabbed the clothes to disappear in the bathroom again.

Luhan had probably looked at me weird but I didn’t mind at that moment, I was too embarrassed with my thoughts. I couldn’t love Kris, could I? My heart picked up speed and I had my answer. I could. My heart was already deciding for me. My mind didn’t have a chance to speak against it. My mind could refuse my heart from time to time but that wouldn’t be enough to stop it. I quickly dressed myself and went back to the room where Luhan was still waiting for me. “Are you afraid that I would go back to sleep when you don’t keep an eye on me?” I mocked him. He knew that I knew the way to the dining room so there was no need for him to bring me there. He chuckled. “I just wanted to make sure that you come and beside it was still an order from Kris.” That was way too confusing for me. Kris and Luhan treated each other like brothers from time to time and at other occasion it went to a master – servant relationship. I had to laugh which caused me to receive a funny look from Luhan. I waved it off and we started to make our way to the dining room.

As we arrived at the dining room Kris was already sitting in front of what seemed pancakes with some fruits while he held a newspaper in his hand. “Lady Nara is here.” Luhan announced beside me which caused Kris to look up from the paper. His gaze landed first on Luhan than on me. His lips turned into a tiny smile which I returned. “Good morning.” I cheerfully said while making my way to the place beside Kris where another plate of pancakes waited for me. “Good morning.” He answered with what I thought ‘trying to be as cheerful as me’ voice. I happily sat down and started digging in. After some time I could feel someone staring at me so I looked up only to meet the gaze of Kris. He cleared his throat and I looked at him questioningly. “Well, I won’t work today… So- I- Well- I thought-“ I could hear Luhan snickering from the corner and saw how Kris threw him a dirty glare. I didn’t know what was going on. “Is something wrong?” I asked since he still pinned Luhan down with his eyes and wouldn’t talk further. Kris turned back to me. “Ah- well- Would you like to go out with me today?” I smiled. Was he worried that I wouldn’t like going out with him? I thought we had cleared the things between us the day before… “Sure.” I said excitedly since this would mean I could finally be outside this house again. “Where do you want to go?” He asked me while a smile returning on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows in concentration to think of something.  Wolfs. I wanted to see them. I was always fascinated about them but I never had the chance to see them in real life. “Can we go to the zoo?” I gave him my best puppy eyes. He chuckled and I blushed in embarrassment. Was it too childish? “I gave you the chance to do everything you wanted and you choose the zoo. You know that I’m rich right? You could have said you want to eat in Italy and we would have made our way straight to Italy.” I pouted. “Don’t wanna.” I whined. “I don’t need fancy things. I just want to go to the zoo and have a great time.” I smiled. “Oh and can’t we take Sehun and Luhan with us?” I clapped excitedly.

Yay an update! Or not? :D

I hope you like the update ~ 

And sorry to the people whom I made hopes for an update yesterday already >.<

I had a lot going on, well I still have. 

I had a problem with university *sigh*

It is only my first week in university and I can give up this semester since I 'forgot' to 

sign up for a course... Now my whole smester is ruined... I acutally didn't forget to sign up for it...

I just couldn't find the course online but it seems like I was the only one with that problem >.<

Anyway I figured out that the courses I wanted to take aren't really fitting for me so I will change them once

the new semster starts... but I have no plan which I should take *pouts*

Sorry for complaining about my life here >.<

Oh and I'm really happy about the comments I received.

Comments + subscribers + readers = My happiness

I'm also happy about each individually ^-^

Especially comments since I get to know what you like in the story and how you feel about it ^-^

I really love you <3

Sorry this author's note turned to be a bit long >.<