I didn’t know why my thoughts changed so suddenly. One moment I was happy about being cared for but in another I just felt all this was for the sake of Kris. “I’m really not hungry. Please just leave.” I said while dropping my hand from my neck. “What’s wrong with you? Is it because of yesterday?” As I was a detective I was used being treated like I was yesterday. Sometimes I had to endure such things for undercover missions but none the less I felt disgusted each time something like that happened. I would survive it without nightmares hunting me. “No.” I finally said. “Something like that isn’t new to me.” I walked to the railing of the balcony. “What do you mean by that? Did a man do such things do you before?” I just hummed and inhaled some more fresh air which caused a smile to appear on my face.

Suddenly I’m yanked back at my shoulder. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked now facing an angry looking Luhan. “What’s wrong with you is the better question. A man did such disrespectful things do you and you are just fine with it?” He yelled at me. “I never said that it was okay for me but I’m used to it since I had to face it before in my job.” I yelled back angry with portraying me like a person who enjoyed being touched by strangers. “What? I didn’t know that detectives had to get touched by people to find murders.” He shouted again. That was like a slap in the face. First he knew that I was a detective probably from Kris who had probably done a background check on me and second he disrespected my work. Did he know how hard it could be to find a suspect or the murderer? What we had to endure just to find a clue? “Leave.” I said in a low and threating voice. “Definitely not without you.” He replied snappy. “Just leave!” I shouted.  Without waiting for an answer I just dashed back in to the room and straight in the bathroom to lock myself in there.

What a great way to start a day, I thought. I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. I placed my hands in front of my face and rubbed it. “How tiring…” I mumbled. “Nara?” I could hear Luhan asking while he knocked on the bathroom door. “Come out please, I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.” “Whatever…” I mumbled to myself. I was way too tired to talk with him again. It took away the little energy sleeping had given me.  “Nara? Please open the door.” This time his voice sounded a bit panicked. I remained silent and stood up. I walked towards the mirror and looked at my reflection. I looked a bit too pale for my liking and the hickeys on my neck mocked me with their bluish green color.

Suddenly I heard the sound of a door being closed. It seemed like Luhan finally had left which made my sigh in relieve. Still I continued looking in the mirror in hope to find something that would make me feel better, to find something that was still me in some way. It may sound confusing to other people but the feeling of not being me spread through my body. In the mirror I could still see my face but it became foreign, my eyes were still the same but the tiny shine they had before disappeared. They hadn’t been able to shine fully for 13 years. A small shine appeared as soon as I started to work at the Police Station. It made me somehow happy to find people who caused family misery since the police wasn’t able to end my misery years ago.

I was startled from the sound of knocking on the bathroom door. “Nara are you in there?” this time it was Kris concerned voice. I debated whether I should answer or not but decided to do it anyway since I would feel guilty if I did not. “Yeah…” “What’s wrong? I heard you and Luhan had a fight. He is really sorry so don’t be angry with him.” Is he worried about Luhan? And why did it matter to me that he was worried about Luhan and not me? I sighed and rubbed my head. I started to feel a slight pain in my head. Great all these thoughts caused me headache. “Nara? What are you doing in there?” “What should I do? Try to kill myself? Sure, how? Drowning myself in the bathtub?” I mumbled to myself. “Nothing, just… just leave me alone.” I said. “Not before you come out of the bathroom and I can confirm that you are fine.” I sighed in defeat. I slowly walked to the bathroom door and opened the lock. The door was opened before I even grab the handle. Right in front of me stood a relieved looking Kris in his suit. “Thank god you are fine.” “Yeah sure, so can you please leave me alone now that we have settled that?” “What’s wrong with you?” “Nothing I’m just tired and have a headache.” 

Another update ~

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