Taemin just sat there, in the grass under the apple tree, staring up at Luhan, his schoolmate who looked like a ing prince on the white horse. The sun even shone on him, like he was an angel, innocent and beautiful, with his wonderful, soft, blonde hair. Taemin would love to run his hands through his hair a few days ago, yes… But right now, he wouldn’t even dare to take his hand, to get up from the ground. Taemin’s heart was racing, beating fast, as if it wanted to jump out of his chest… As if it told him to run for his life, because Luhan clearly wasn’t what he seemed.

No innocent angelic boy would be able to kick the asses of three strong, violent and probably mean guys. Some guys that Taemin still didn’t know why bothered him – he didn’t even know them?

“Taemin… Are you okay?” Luhan’s angelic voice asked, waking Taemin up from his thoughts, Taemin felt his heart beat increase, as he looked up at his schoolmate.

“U-Uhm… Why didn’t you tell me about it?” Taemin asked with a small mumble as he stood up without taking Luhan’s hand, not looking at his hyung. The older tilted his head slightly to the side, not really understanding the problem here.

“But… If I told you, what would you have done?” Luhan replied, looking a bit away as he bit his lip, “I told you before that I didn’t like talking about my spare time… Now you know why.”

“It would be nice to know when your friend is a ing gang member?!” Taemin heard himself say, nearly yell, as he was a bit upset about the whole thing. Luhan gasped quietly, looking at Taemin with wide, surprised eyes. Taemin, on the other hand, tried to calm himself down as his breath had been quickening up.

He was pretty sure, he was about to lose it. He had probably never been so angry before.

Or well… He probably couldn’t remember it if he had.

“Okay!! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it, Taemin…” Luhan said, looking down, “But I didn’t think you would talk to me if you knew… Even though…” Luhan froze, turning his glare a bit against his younger schoolmate, thinking a bit about things. His stare was quite suspicious.

“W-What?” Taemin stuttered carefully, backing a bit away from his friend.

“Before I came to this school… I’ve seen you somewhere, right?” Luhan said, making Taemin gulp slightly. That’s right, Luhan had probably seen him a lot of times before he came to this school, but Taemin had never seen Luhan – he was always blinded by the handsome gang leader.

Oh .

Had he found out?!

“You often walk by our hangout place, right?” Luhan asked, walking towards the younger, with a cold and suspicious look in his eyes, “You always seem to be looking at my leader, as if you want to eat him or something?” And this made Taemin gasp in shock, turn around and grab his back, which was thrown on the ground from his fall. Then Taemin started running away from Luhan, just like the other three guys earlier.

This, however, wasn’t because he was scared of being beaten up by Luhan.

No, he wasn’t scared of that at all…

He was just scared, that Luhan might tell Kai something about Taemin – or even worse! He might find out, that Taemin was a ing , who actually really just wanted to sleep with his gang leader!

No, not just sleep with him. He wanted him.

But that’s just how fags think, right? As if Kai would ever be a , like him. He had that Yuri-girl, who always hung out around him, as if he was a refrigerator and she was one of those cheap magnets that you put on it when you’re hanging your child’s cute, but not-so-pretty, drawings up.

Yeah... Definitely a cheap magnet.

---------------------------------

“Taemin, come here,” Taemin heard his mother say to him as soon as he stepped into his fine house. It made him gulp, because her voice didn’t sound loving and caring today, which usually meant trouble. Normally he would just head for his room and stay there until they had to eat, do his homework, and then go to bed. His mother rarely wanted to talk to him, if it wasn’t about his father.

He walked to the kitchen slowly and carefully, feeling his gut clench a bit in fear. Was he about to get scolded again like the day before? After he got home with his red hair, being late and all…

“Y-Yes, umma?” Taemin carefully said as he walked to his mom, looking at her with his doe-eyes. She was probably the only person in the whole world, who wasn’t affected by his beautiful eyes.

“Some of your dad’s business partners are coming over for dinner… Please dress up nicely, okay?” she said, seeming a bit cold in her voice still, “You can wear a hat if you like,” she turned to look at her only son though, trying to force a smile onto her lips, but it didn’t really fool Taemin.

“M-Mmh? Who? Can’t I just eat at my room?” he asked, feeling a bit too tired to actually care about some ty business partners that came for dinner. His dad would probably like if he just ate at his room instead – he was a , and what dad was proud to have a in the family? Not Taemin’s father that is.

He couldn’t wait to finish High School, so he could run away from home, maybe with a nice boyfriend if anyone wanted him?

He still hoped and begged that the guy that he would run away with would be Kai.

“No, Taemin… They have a girl at your age, I’m sure you’ll get along nicely, okay?” his mom smiled at her son, ruffling his newly colored, red hair. Then it struck Taemin...

There would be a girl at his age?

Probably a beautiful girl at his age.

Were his parents trying something now? They usually didn’t try to make him friends with anyone…

“… Fine,” he mumbled and pulled away from his mother’s touch, and turned around on his heel, heading for his room upstairs. He knew it, she didn’t even say anything about the fact that he was two hours too early back from school, she didn’t ask how his day went – she only did that when she didn’t want him to be mad, because she had some bad news to tell him afterwards. She didn’t really care, as long as he finished his school, and got good grades as usual.

It were times like these, where Taemin wished that he had a boyfriend to cuddle with, hold him in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

Tell him that he loved him, while he caressed this soft, red hair, and maybe made gentle love with him to comfort him.

He plopped down onto his bed in his room, looking up at the ceiling. First of all he just wanted to rest, but on the other hand, he wanted to solve the stuff that happened at school the same day. The way he had just ran from Luhan, after he found out about his secret… That wasn’t really nice to do, was it? Taemin actually kind of regretted it… He kept a secret for Luhan as well – that he was gay, and in love with Luhan’s gang leader.

Taemin just fled, because the look in Luhan’s eyes… He was pretty sure, he had found out about Taemin’s crush already. What would he do if he knew? Laugh at him? Or maybe even tell Kai about it, so he would never talk to Taemin ever again?

.

That couldn’t happen!

He definitely had to clear these things with Luhan, or else… He was pretty sure he would regret it all. But he would have to wait till the day was over. He had to make a good example for a son later that day, even though he wouldn’t charm this daughter like his parents hoped he would.

Idiots. He wasn’t straight for anyone.

“Aish… Why is it so difficult,” he mumbled to himself, pouting over the fact, that he was nineteen, and still hadn’t gotten his ing first serious kiss yet, neither had he gotten laid yet, even though he really could feel his need. Ugh?! He hadn’t even had a serious boyfriend before… He did have one when he was a little kid though, the same time he got his first kiss – which was actually just a peck, but that was a long time ago and it didn’t really count, did it? That was also a guy he kissed back then though, but his parents paid no attention to it – he was just five?

However, that was his very first friend he ever had, but as soon as he was old enough to attend school, his family moved from Daegu to Seoul, and he didn’t see his friend ever again. His parents, of course, didn’t care about that.

They just wanted success, and they wanted their only son to attend the most expensive school in South Korea, so he could grow up, being a smart and successful man.

Taemin rolled onto his tummy, as he suddenly got caught in his own thoughts, thinking about his childhood, long before he found out that he was gay. He used to play with guys only, of course – girls were dangerous! They had cooties and all!

Taemin couldn’t help but smile slightly, as he thought of the way he and his friend always used to bully the other girls, without being mean of course. Then they would play hunters and wolves and hunt each other with plastic guns, just the two of them, faking really dramatic deaths once shot.

His friend was really good at it, and sometimes he was so good, that he could actually fool Taemin into believing that he was dying. This, however, just made Taemin cry, and the friend would have to comfort him with a hug, saying that everything would be alright.

He felt his cheeks grow a bit red, as he remembered when they were camping together in his friend’s garden, in his dad’s small camping tent… It was so cozy, and Taemin really loved camping like that, and he would love to try it again sometime. It was raining outside then, and Taemin was soaked! So Taemin and his just sat inside the tent, hugging each other in their sleeping bags to keep warm – even though it ended like that his friend got soaked as well. And yeah… That’s kinda where it all happened. As they laughed at their own silliness, looking at each other, and suddenly becoming quiet. They had seen it in cartoons – how a prince and a princess would have their first kiss, and it would always mean a happy ending for everything! A lot of Disney movies ended with a kiss, sealing all the evil things away forever.

So… If they kissed… They would always be together, right? Through thick and thin, just the two of them.

So that’s how it happened. An innocent peck on the lips was Taemin’s first kiss. It made him blush just thinking about it, even though it was about fourteen years ago, and surely already forgotten. He could still feel his friend’s lips against his own, even though it didn’t mean anything, just a friendly peck.

And of course, they were only kids back then! They didn’t even know what being gay, lesbian or straight meant!

That was a time, Taemin missed so badly. People wouldn’t look at him with weird glares, if he were walking with his friend, holding hands. Children always symbolized something innocent and clean… Pure. They might even just think, that they were siblings? They had always been told, by other adults that…

Some way…

… They really did look alike. 

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A/N: 

Ugh... This really made me think about my own childhood... ;;A;; 

I miss camping in my own garden as well... TT____TT ~

Oh well.. I haven't been updating for a week because I've been busy with my biology exam.. >3<'' But in the end it paid off.. I got another A~ ;;u;; So yeah~

I am more than satisfied~!! <3

Hope you're all doing well, and that you're doing well on your finals too~ :3 ^-^ I've missed you all~ !! 

Comments are love~! <3